Tokusatsu Review: Shruiken Sentai Ninninger vs Toqger Part 2: Bad Leftovers

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 So anything of importance that I missed last time? NOPE just dumbass characters acting like dumbasses. Speaking of; Chief Dumbass rolls into the demon theme park and finally meets the mastermind and resident Ninja Nerd.

NERRRRRRRD! Wait Mavro; SUPER MEGAFORCEEEEEE FLASHBAAAAAAAKSSSS!!! KILL HIM NOW I DON'T CARE WHO!!!

 Aside from sharing the name of one of the worst villains in Power Rangers history this guy is clearly insane because why in the name of all that's good would ANYONE want to spend time with Takaharu unless he owes them money? Speaking of he tries to fight Mavro but is stoped by Mavro's Ninja clones. But since they're based off of ACTUAL (and one mythological but far more legit) NINJAS Takaharu gets his ass kicked. Mavro then extracts his Shadow from Takaharu and combines them with the three clones to create an Evil Clone of Takaharu, DARK AKANINGER!!!

 Unfortunately Takaharu manages to separate himself from the Clone. So while he's not under Mavro's control he's lost all his Nintality to the Clone, but no problem since according to Mavro all he is now is just Leftovers.

Well dude Sonya and the American fanbase agrees and quite frankly with how your show progressed I'm right there with them so from now on we dub thee Leftovers!

 With his new evil Ninninger Mavro leaves Leftovers to fade into nothing but just as Saitama is about to throw Leftovers out Wrong (Since I hate Right just as much as everyone else hates Leftovers I'm calling him Wrong from now on as well) saves him and gets the two out of there. We then cut back to Kyuemon finishing the exposition dump about how Leftovers will be reduced to nothing unless Dark Akaninger is destroyed. Yet the three look horrified for some reason I'd personally break out a Piñata but that's just me.

 Back at their base the two groups try to come up with a plan to save Leftovers but are coming up dry. The Toqgers tell the Niningers to stay back while they take care of it but they insist on coming as well and so they do. Meanwhile Leftovers wakes up to see Wrongs punchable Justin Bieber face and the two talk and bond about how hopelessly stupid they are. After some banter between the two groups of competent team members we cut back to Dark Akaninger starting to cover the world in darkness. Kyuemon expresses his concerns about interference but Mavro's got it covered, he recreated the Shadow Line Generals with additional Ninja skills to guard the area. Kyuemon then takes off to make sure his check from Toei doesn't bounce and leaves with Wanyūdō. 

 The two reds manage to reach Mavro and Dark but Dark attacks and overpowers the two. The others manage to get past the Shadow Line Clones with their own varying degrees of stupidity including leaving Schwartz to being BOILED ALIVE, DAMN! The two reds actually hold their own against Dark, but before Marvo can interfere Akira (who thankfully has stoped using his "This is where I die" catchphrase) takes him on instead. Elsewhere Kyuemon sends Wanyūdō to attack the city to collect fear energy but are stoped by a loud and powerful battlecry!

 No no; it's time for the Early bird cameo of the new team, the Zyuohgers who are so badass they make quick work of Wanyūdō in less time it takes to nuke a Hot-pocket. But like all good things this appearance of the 40th Anniversary team must come to an end as we go back to the two clown troops calling themselves Sentai. Dark is beating Wrong and Leftovers like a drum telling Leftovers that if he dies he goes with him. The teams finally catch up with the Niningers firing the Toqgers cannon at Dark while imagining what Leftovers hates, which of course reduces our Badass villain Ranger Clone; into a pepper that Leftovers then destroys with an "I AM A MAN" punch.

My hatred of this resolution knows no bounds!

 But as if a sign of mercy from the Emperor himself Leftovers fades away into nothingness.

 Yep, no going back now Leftovers's dead and all's well that ends well.

Nope, you think you'll be rid of this dipshit so easily? Not while there's still some of your faith in humanity I can squash!

 Just when I though he wouldn't show up and this movie might actually be tolerable Old Ninja shows up again and somehow, don't ask me how, brings Leftovers back with the power of IMAGINATION!!!!!! Now you might be thinking that this is where I'll use the Deadfall clip of Nick Cage screaming "Fuck" as loud and over the top as he can. But no, this plot point is so dumb, so infuriating and so stupid I cannot express my anger properly. So thus I leave this task to a true master of anger. Take it away Ren.

BUT FIRST, FIIIIIRRRRRRSSSTTTTTTTT, I'm going to take a wizz. Don't you go anywhere, as next time we'll see how much more these two teams can drive me closer to getting a visit from a Red Lantern ring.


Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Beauty and the Beast (1992) is owned by Goodtimes entertainment, Golden Films and Sony.
Looney Toons is owned by Warner Brothers and the Vitaphone Corporation. 
Kazumi Magica The Innocent Malice is owned by Masaki Hiramatsu, Takashi Tensugi, Magica Quartet and Yen Press.
Mortal Kombat is owned by Warner Brothers Interactive Entertainment and NetherRealm Studios.
One-Punch Man is owned by ONE, Viz Media and Shueisha.
The Ren & Stimpy show is owned by Bob Camp, John Kricfalusi, Spümcø, Games Animation and Nickelodeon.
The Tick: The Animated Series is propriety of  Hank Tucker, Sunbow Entertainment, Graz Entertainment, Fox Children’s Productions and Disney Media Distribution 

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Chaser: Part 3: Karaoke jam of fallen angels.

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

Just two girls playing with their favorite dollies. Though some people wish they'd share once in a while while others think they need to grow out of it.

 Last time On Davids brain we had our main villain kick Chase, Heart and Brain around like tin cans; Krim is incapacitated while Shinnosuke and Go are caught in a territory dispute with a veteran Rider. So how does the movie decide to follow this up? With Medic horribly practicing Karaoke to try and learn how to sway Heart.

 So after the big lipped alligator ballad we cut to the three we actually care about recovering from getting slammed by Angel. Brain rightfully apologizes to Heart for not realizing how nuts Angel was but Heart just tells him not to sweat it since her goal is pointless anyway. Heart wants to know if Brain can remove the feather circuit from Chase but Chase stupidly still has doubts about whether she's crazy or not. Look dude I know you owe her a gigantic debt, that you two did.... yeah and that the crazy ones are probably the best but she's completely coo-coo for cocoa puffs!

 Brain just says to Chases hesitation; fine do whatever. He may be a coward but even he has his pride and would rather die then be forced to follow someone else's ideals. As for Heart he gives his say in that matter but as he finishes his core gets stolen by Angel. With this Chases head is back in the game and tells Brain to watch Hearts body while he goes after Angel.

Nice work Chase now you just gave shippers more fuel. Also Brain, don't; just don't he's not even in his body this is technically necrophilia and that's just not right.

 Shinnosuke meanwhile gets the call from Krim about what happened and tells him to get to where he is ASAP. He apologizes to Ryuu who figured out that Shinnosuke and Go are Riders and understands letting the two go off to save their friend while he'll handle this case. As the two are about to leave Genpatchi calls in telling Shinnosuke they found the guy that 051 copied. But if he's with Gen; and 051 was destroyed then who's lying on the Tokyo Futo border? Another Roidmude of course, 077 copied Moe Urkel as well and managed to steal a Beast memory but passed out from the rush.

 But now that he has the memory back 077 uses it and becomes a Beast Dopant. Krim manages to show up allowing Shinnosuke to become Drive. He and Mach try to take on the Dopant Roidmude but the two are overwhelmed rather quickly leaving it up to Senpai to notice and take action.

MOTHERTRUCKER!!! Also a cameo from a past Rider that is actually faithful to the series and not disrespectful? What is this I don't even!?

 So with Drive and Mach flabbergasted that there were police riders before him (while I'm sure people would have loved to see G3-X again by this point in continuity it would most likely be gathering dust in a museum or police storage) the three team up to destroy the Memory and Roidmude. So Drive and Mach leave to help Chase while Ryuu heads back to his boss (wife) and their baby girl. Back to the main plot Angel collects Hearts core when Mashin Chaser finally catches up with her. During their fight he manages to hit her chest jewel which releases one of the Cores she took, now that he knows where the weak spot is all he has to do is shoot till he can release Hearts core. Chase finally gets back up from Drive Type Tridoron and Mach Deadheat who take care of Angels projectiles giving him the chance to ram his bike into her and into the sky like the chase scene from ET.

 Chaser has Angel on the ropes despite her trying to dissuade him with how everyone is fulfilled. But she reveals that she grafted the Feather Circuit onto Hiroshi as well. Yep it turns out that Angel was planning on indoctrinating humans as well as Roidmudes. Chase has had enough and tries to keep fighting but Angel isn't stupid and installed a failsafe on the Feather Circuit so as long as it's installed Chase can't fight her. Which begs the question of why she didn't use it earlier in the fight or even use the circuit to complexly take him over and make him her slave, it's not like Chase hasn't had his programing mucked around with before she would've figured he'd be used to it.

 But what does Chase do with this revelation? He grabs the Rhino Viral Core and remembering the words of Brain, Kirm and Heart uses it to cut the Feather Circuit off his own body even though he risks destroying his own core in the process. After losing quite a bit of blood (or oil) Chase manages to rip the thing off and is back to his old self; with this he denounces Angels desire for peace as really wanting total control (just like every law character in SMT) and he transforms into his Rider form. With the ultimate rejection of her ideals and plans Angel loses her temper and finally goes completely mad. With her composure reduced to that of a rabid animal Chase has no trouble finishing her off with the Rhino Viral Core she gave him and frees Heart and Hiroshi.

 With Demon dead Chase walks off while being observed by the series' final Villain Banno and his assistant Roidmude 004 who plan on finding more Roidmudes capable of Super Evolution. As we wrap up Heart is happy to hear that Chase's doubts have been resolved, Medic dresses a little more sexily for Heart and Brian gets put back in the friend zone by Heart. Brain then swears that he'll never help Medic, never ever not in a million billion years! As we wrap up we learn that because Chase cut out the circuit he lost all memories of these events and our movie ends with Chase driving down the coast at peace with himself and ready to protect humanity. So that was Kamen Rider Chaser and good god this was good.

 We had a legit piece of character development for Chase, a pretty menacing villain and a cool crossover with a veteran Rider that didn't make me want to chuck my computer out a window. There's quite a bit that I didn't show or mention but that's for 2 reasons. One they were definitely not kid friendly, and two I do want you guys to check this movie out and giving every single thing away would be rather detrimental to that goal wouldn't it? So what's next on the Toku docket? Well.. let me think OH RIGHT a certain franchises 2000th episode should do nicely.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
The Tick: The Animated Series is propriety of  Hank Tucker, Sunbow Entertainment, Graz Entertainment, Fox Children’s Productions and Disney Media Distribution 

Tokusatsu Review: Ressha Sentai Toqger Vs Kyoryuger The Movie Part 1: Valiant Vision.

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 This movie is going to be a problem, as you may or may not know I have, well a definitive opinion of Toqger. But I don't want to look like a psychotic lunatic describing my feelings about Toqger, so I will leave my good friend Silky Johnson, a true trained and learned hater to give my feelings about the 38th Super Sentai.

 A true hater; one that I hope and fear will become someday. But I've gone on record long enough about my hatred of these unimaginative morons; time to talk about their predecessors; Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger. They're the strongest braves in history who fought against the Deboss army, an army of monsters that caused the extermination of the Dinosaurs millions of years ago. In the modern day they tried to revive their master Deboss by gathering emotional energy from people. I think Kyoryuger was an okay series, but the complaints I have with it are pretty much the same as everyone else, too much focus on Daigo especially when this team had a roster of TEN RANGERS that the extra development could have gone to but it wasn't because reasons, way too much explosions (thank you Sakamoto) and the show in general was a bit too goofy for my taste.

 I'll get into this more when I decide to talk about the first eight episodes of Kyoryuger's adaptation Power Rangers Dino Charge but I'm definitely liking Dino Charge more then Kyoryuger. So for right now let's see how these two teams mix and if I have to hurl afterwords from digesting the concoction. We open in space where Lady, a character from Toqger's other movie "Galaxy Line SOS" (also I see the Thomas the Tank Engine reference you made by naming her "Lady" nice try) reports to the Rainbow line that a Galaxy Line station has been attacked by a mass of green energy and both are on a collision course with the earth. So our army of Tom Hanks wannabees transform and head to the crash site to see what exactly caused the station to crash, discovering Zorimas and Cambrimas the foot solders and elite foot solders of the Deboss army emerging from the green energy seeping from the crashed station. The team tries to fight them off but their attack do jack all against them. Kagura is about to be killed by a Zorima until a certain duo shows up.

Yep the return of Daigo (Kyoryu Red) and Amy (Kyoryu Pink)

 The two veterans easily take care of the goons while Tokatti and Kagura wonder who they are. Um you two should know at least half of that question since, oh wait that movie never happened never mind. The two then get saved by Nossan (Kyoryu Blue) from the grunt, but not from his puns.

 Yep, Nossan absolutely loves these word puns, at least the guys at Tv Nihon did the translations as best as they could and explained what this highball joke was so it didn't go completely over our heads. But still just because I have to, here's the clip just out of principal.

 Mio then gets saved by Ian (Kyoryu Black) while Souji (Kyoryu Green) one of the least developed characters in Kyoryuger saves Hikari, my favorite Toqger and who I think is the real leader of the group. As the Kyoryugers do their literally explosive introduction they inadvertently pull a Ziggy from RPM and catch the Toqgers in their back explosion sending them flying. HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, eh that's just plain old fashioned funny for several reasons, not the least of which showing how incompetent the Toqgers are. Hell the first 15 minutes of this movie seems to be dedicated to doing just that, and I am more then happy with that. Yeah I know the cardinal rule of any team up is to not make one faction look better then the other, but if the one that looks bad is Toqger I soooooooooooooo don't care. So while the train twits lick their burn marks the Kyoryugers clean house with the grunts.

Right, why is it that almost every time you open your mouth you say something stupid?

 The Kyoryugers try to get to the station but are stopped by a green force field. Unfortunately like the Kyoryuger series itself the other members of the team search for a way to break the shield leaving Daigo to get all of the character interaction with the Toqgers. Really? The rest of the team didn't think to ask the Toqgers what they know about the situation and compare notes to hopefully find out what caused this; especially since this is tied into their group and network of allies? Oh wait there goes me and my logic again. Yeah why would we want to see the primary members of this team up bounce off of each other and get interesting character interactions based off of how different and similar they are?

 Who would want to watch that? Heh heh, oy vey. Anyway after Daigo shows off his new haircut the Toqgers start asking Daigo questions which Conductor wants answered immediately and brings them on the trains so Daigo can explain it all. Also, yes Daigo can see and board the trains, because he has imagination.

 Sorry but I have to do that everytime Toqger mentions Imagination, yeah that part still pisses me off and you should too. After more dialogue that causes brain tumors with every period Daigo explains that the station was brought down by Devius, the being responsible for creating Deboss and thus the Deboss army. Speaking of which Devius' henchman; Salamas is meeting with Zett and the rest of the Shadow Line to ask for help keeping the two Sentai teams off his back while Devius gains a physical form.

Wait a minute, this looks familiar. Oh god Devius is a Pillar Man! This might explain what happened to Kars after Joseph sent him into space. He got sent through a worm hole into this universe, was converted into a mass of energy and using his powers as the Ultimate Life form, created Deboss as a means to conquer the universe!

 And in exchange they'll help Zett kill the Toqgers. Zett agrees and decides to loan Salamas a Shadow Kaijin. Salamas thanks Zett by kissing his robe which caused Morc to attack him for stepping out of line. After hearing the situation from Daigo the Toqgers offer their help but Daigo refuses pointing out how their weapons and attacks were useless against the grunts. He also senses something about them, something childish that he doesn't want to put in danger. Daigo then does a dine and dash as he JUMPS OUT OF THE MOVING TRAIN AND LANDS WITHOUT A SCRATCH! Right, not one to listen to reason, sound advice or anything that doesn't come from his own noise hole decides that they're going to fight Devius anyway, even though they know that their weapons and attacks can't hurt him and his creations.

 While everyone tries to keep Right under control we cut to Utchy (Kyoryu Gold) waiting for Daigo at the train station. Our movie exclusive monster shows up with some Kuros; the Shadow Line's foot solders and after a silly little exchange Utchy tries to fight off the forces.

The decorated decorum devoted dunce in the middle is Clock Shadow.

 However just like when the Toqgers couldn't hurt the Deboss grunts with their weapons, Utchy's sword can't cut it with the Shadow Line grunts either. Thankfully the other Toqger that I can stand, Akira shows up to help Utchy fend off the Kuros. After a pointless scene of Right making a right ass out of himself we cut back to the fight where Clock Shadow starts, well pretending he's a clock striking 12, Akira warns Utchy to run and not listen to him sing, Utchy of course refuses to run, the Toqgers then show up and Clock Shadow starts singing again forcing Akira to summon the Build Ressha to get them all to retreat. Clock Shadow orders the Kuros to go after them, when a certain group of gaudy Ninjas show up, and no one of them isn't Pierre Kirby; it's the Ninningers. Yep as is tradition now with these crossover movies we get a preview/showcase of the next seasons Sentai, though they usually come in near the end of the movie.

 So yeah this an odd change of pace but a good one in my opinion. So for the next five minutes we get the Ninningers destroying all the Kuros and chasing Clock Shadow off, but not before he summons a Kurainer to squash them. Instead of summoning their Otomo Nin they instead use a Nin Shuriken that they just pulled out of their ass (so far not sure if this will actually be introduced in the show as of 5/6/15) to shrink the Kurainer to human size so they can finish it off with their finishing attack.

"Dad, the movie's talking to me again" "I'll fire up the electroshock machine."

 After Deadpool found his new targets for stealing his schtick we cut back to the Toqgers who have now been turned into kids, or rather restored to normal. As for Utchy, well.....

BABY!

 Yeah it turns out that Clock Shadow has the ability to age regress a person; the longer they listen to his clock impression the farther back they go. Wait hold on, the longer the victim is exposed to the effects the younger they become. The one who has this power is weird, malicious and works for a guy who is viewed as the embodiment of pure evil.

 OH GOD GET AWAY! The fact that Clock Shadows voice actor Masaya Onosaka is also the voice actor for Alessi does not help matters at all, in fact the little voice in my head is telling me that this casting choice and Clock Shadow's powers was made as an intentional reference. Ugh anyway Akira says that Clock Shadow's powers don't work on other Shadows and that's why he's fine. With the Toqgers occupied with Chibichi the Kyoryugers are trying to get to Devius, with no success, Daigo then summons Gabutyra to take a crack at it, however Kurainers show up to reinforce the barrier with darkness, so even with Gabutyra they can't get in. Akira calls the Kyoryugers to show them what happened to Utchy and the Toqgers.

GET IT?! Yeah I can't honestly believe they went there.

 Ugh this whole review is getting squicky. What makes me feel even more uncomfortable is the fact that RIGHT of all people comes to the realization that the team's respective powers don't work on the other teams enemies. So for Devius to be stopped both teams have to work together. Clock Shadow shows up with an army of Kuros, Zorimas and Cambrimas. The Kyoryugers transform to protect the kids, however Right and the other kids can still transform and do so.

Couldn't we have these Toqgers instead?

 Now time for me to explain something about my hatred for Toqger. Everyone I've seen defending this show says that "they're kids in adult bodies what do you expect of course they're going to be annoying, kids are annoying." Yeah I get that but here's the thing, the show says that the team are kids in adult bodies, but for me, it comes off as the leads being adults that are acting like children, and there is a gigantic difference. We know that kids more often enough do indeed act like the Toqgers, but again the problem is that as far as we can tell Adults are acting like Children! Do you get where I'm coming from?

 But to be perfectly honest, for the rest of the movie where the Toqgers are kids, they are 1000 more tolerable for me. If the team from the start were portrayed by child actors this show would have fared far better in my eyes. I mean say what you will about Kou from Dairanger, Riki from Ohranger or Justin from Power Rangers Turbo at least when they were Rangers they were still kids in their civilian forms, you could have done what those shows or even Beetleborgs did, have the child actors and just have them grow to adult proportions when they transform, or even switch to more grown up voices while they're transformed so there won't be any scheduling conflicts with their schoolwork or whatever. Because from what little I've seen here these kids should have been the main heroes of the show, that change would have removed at least 50% of my rage at this show and make Right far more tolerable as a character, because this behavior is more tolerable from a kid then a grown ass adult. Also it seems that Right is acting more mature as a kid then he was as an adult. Okay, rant over.

YOU LEAVE THOSE CHILDREN ALONE YOU MONSTER!

I have Chris Hanson and I'm not afraid to use him.

 So the two teams on Right's suggestion swaps their power totems with their opposite number, the Toqgers give the Kyoryugers their Resshas and the Kyoryugers give their Zyudenchi batteries, with the totems inserted (somehow) into their respective devices the fight is on. Akira would have joined in on this but, well he still has Chibichi to look after. And the core swap worked, as the combined forces can hurt both groups of foot solders now.

OH GOD NOT THAT THING AGAIN!

 Great, that's just what this movie needed, the return of the unholy love child of Majin Buu and a dumpling. Long story go watch episode 15 to see the context behind this stupid looking abomination. So after, that the grunts are gone and all that's left is the mechanized Don Patch. Meanwhile the Shadow Line chew out Salamas for his plan going pear shaped. Salamas however lives up to his name and sets Castle Terminal on fire, yeah that part of Zetts cape he kissed? Yeah apparently that was him planing the "fuse" as it were for his pyrokinetic abilities. So he torches the place, steals some Kurainers and makes tracks. The two teams combine their powers to destroy Clock Shadow, but before he can grow Salamas steals the darkness and grows, fusing five Kuros with him to make,

THIS UNGODLY STUPID LOOKING THING!

 I mean come on, are you kidding me with this thing? Look I get what they were going for, mixing a train with a dragon. I know that dragons were often grouped together with Salamanders in European mythology and modern depictions of Salamanders often cast them as being associated with fire and I guess the producers wanted to mix the themes of the two villain groups together but come on!  There's mixing and matching and then there's taking two puzzle pieces from completely different sets and slamming them together until they kind of fit. So the teams summon their mechs, fire their lasers at Salamas, and they can't aim for crap. Salamas somehow manages to survive the initial assault so the team summon their strongest mechs ToQ Rainbow and Gigant Kyoryujin to destroy Salamas. With his destruction the Toqgers and Utchy grow to their adult forms again.

 However they're too late, Devius has awakened and just with a single laser blast nearly destroys both mechs forcing the teams to retreat. Next time we conclude this movie and I give my final thoughts.

Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Chappelle's Show is owned by Dave Chappelle, Comedy Central, MGM Television and Comedy Partners.
Batman: The Animated Series is owned by Dc Comics, Warner Brothers and Paul Dini.
Ultima IX: Ascension is owned by Electronic Arts, Origin Systems, and Richard Garriot AKA Lord British.
Deadfall is owned by Tristar Pictures and Christopher Coppola. 
The Tick: The Animated Series is propriety of  Hank Tucker, Sunbow Entertainment, Graz Entertainment, Fox Children’s Productions and Disney Media Distribution 
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is propriety of Hirohiko Araki, David Production, Tokyo MX, Warner Bros Entertainment and Viz Media. 
To Catch a Predator is owned by NBC Studios. 
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is owned by Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Python (Monty) Pictures and EMI films. 

Movie Review Sharknado 2: The Second One: Do I even need to be here?

Oh Sharknado 2, what to do, what to do, what to do? How does one even describe something as awesomely gloriously stupid as this franchise? I don’t know but here goes nothing. There is a tornado; it is filled with sharks that want to eat anything like Gluttony from FMA after a fasting diet and there are some bad actors and silly in-joke cameos that want to stop the sharks, hijinks ensue. Now to actually talk about this movie, well first off you can just throw logic out the window with a bomb tied to its back riding a clown car folks. In the first ten minutes, we have a surfer with no fight experience land a commercial aircraft, with one destroyed engine, in a thunderstorm filled with sharks onto JFK with little to no difficulty. Why, because he has main character powers that’s why!

Silly bad movies like this only come around once in a blue moon, when the planets are aligned just right and the dark lords open the gates of hell for just one brief second to deliver something like this movie. Sharknado 2 takes everything that was good in the first one, what little there was, and injects it with two needles of adrenaline while forcing it to watch every single Nick Cage freak out scene in history. This belongs in the realm of legendary bad movies, like Troll 2, Winters Tale, Dungeons and Dragons, anything involving Uwe Boll and anything else spawned by the asylum. If I haven’t made this clear as crystal, grim as the grave more in your face then your own nose, see this movie and see it soon!

Oh, before I forget, there is a Sharknado 3 on its way next year. I’m willing to bet it takes place in Chicago. I know that it is geographically impossible for Sharks to be near the Great Lakes but, WHO CARES,

TORNADO THAT IS FILLED WITH SHARKS THAT HAVE ATTAINED SENTIENCE! ARGUMENT INVALID!

 Hell it won’t stop there, who wants to bet we’ll get Sharknados in cities around the world? Sharknados in London, Dubai, Tokyo Moscow, Cairo, Dublin, take your pick, you name a city you can bet your kids life-savings that there will be a Sharknado in that city!

Sharknado 2: The Second One is propriety of The Asylum and the Syfy channel.

The Tick: The Animated Series is propriety of  Hank Tucker, Sunbow Entertainment, Graz Entertainment, Fox Children’s Productions and Disney Media Distribution