Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Another Ending 1: Brave and Snipe (Spoilers)

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 Oh goody more Kamen Rider Gaiden films to cash in on the last Kamen Rider season/ fill any left over plot-holes. Now these aren't all bad all things considered I mean the best that I've seen so far is still Drive Saga Chaser which I covered around when it came out.

Part 1 View

Part 2 View

Part 3 View

 However the other two Drive movies; Mach and Heart are a bit of a mixed bag. The Gaim ones were pretty decent as well with the best being in my opinion the special for Kamen Rider Knuckle, highlighting a character that really didn't get a whole lot of narrative focus in the main show. Dukes was at least vital for setting up a possible ongoing threat for the Armored Riders past the events of the show, and at least we get to see Duke in a non Energy Rider form. Baron and Zangetsu's specials were entertaining in their own rights.

Zangetsu View

Baron View

 While the worst of all the Gaiden specials is the Kamen Rider Specter special, but then again almost everything related to Ghost sucks like the Poltergust 3000 so at least its consistent with the show. As expected there's three movies for Ex-Aid, arguably one of the most popular recent Kamen Rider series though instead of the three focusing on one character they each focus on two and today we're looking at one of the worst riders on the show and the ongoing saga of Pepe Le Pew and his formerly jailbait charge. Now of course since this takes place after Ex-Aid spoilers are going to be unavoidable so here's the warning and off we go.

 We open two years after the main series concluded with the God Dan Kuroto at his mansion (would you expect less from this guy) auditioning to be the new That guy with the Glasses by rambling on about how he's going to, of course try to kill the Riders. According to Hiiro they not only somehow lost track of the guy but he also stole the Bugvisor and Proto-Gashat that he squirreled away. Ok how did this happen? He was kept in only one place you could literally have one guy watch him as he was stuck in Poppy's console under lock and key, what did Kuroto escape while the guy went to take a dump?! I imagine that it went a little something like this.

 But they've got bigger concerns then a deranged Kamen Rider with a dangerous god complex and a personality more akin to Daffy Duck then God. Thanks to the combined efforts of Taiga, Hiiro and Kujo ER is steadily working to not only curing all strains of Gamer Syndrome but are also close to restoring everyone who lost Kamen Rider Chronicle, including hopefully Hiiro's girlfriend Saki. As Taiga and Nico are wrapping up another day in the clinic Nico's past comes calling in the form of one of her old gaming rivals from America, Luke Kidman. But just before he finally gets that restraining order he clearly wanted he shows symptoms of Game Syndrome and collapses in pain.

Meanwhile at the hall of Justice, er I mean uh this place, whatever.

 Hiiro and Kujo are meeting with the head in charge of the project, Dr Saiko Yaotome.

EVIL, obviously evil! I mean whenever a new character is introduced in these specials odds are good that unless we see them in trouble in their first scene, they're evil.

 Dr Feelgood tells Hiiro and Kujo that her team has a bold idea to restore the lost people, by using Bugsters. Now don't worry this isn't like ADAM replacing cells with unstable steam versions; according to Feelgood the reason why completed Bugsters retain their hosts memories is because their genes still exist within the Bugster in a broken down or divided form. So instead of Bioshock pseudo science, the movie is going with Assassins Creed pseudo science in that memories are encoded into our DNA. Now keep in mind, Feelgood's an expert on Gene therapy, more like JEAN therapy right guys?! Shut up that was funny!

 After Hiiro turns down a dinner date with Dr Feelgood he runs into Saki. And no this isn't a static barely alive facsimile like what Chronos did; this is the real Saki restored from the Drago Knight Hunter Z Proto-Gashat. But she disappears before Hirro can confirm it is her. After the title card we follow up on Hirro indulging his sweet tooth. (Note his actor Toshiki Seto hates sweets, after apparently eating too much chocolate and got a nosebleed afterwords as a kid, casting can be a bitch.) Afterwords he runs into Saki again who confirms that he's not seeing things. But she's got herself a new boyfriend, unfortunately it's this cartoon.

Ren Amagasaki AKA the Lovelica Bugster AKA a Kilgrave you can barely take seriously.

 Hiiro is of course confused and horrified at this since last time he saw him he was begin permakilled by Chronos and last he checked people die when they're killed.

 Actually he did get better since after Chronos used Reset Ren and Saki were restored by an outside force, I'll give you a minute to guess who. But now that Saki's hooked up with this pink creeper Hiiro puts the pieces together, he knows a brainwashing job when he sees one and transforms into Kamen Rider Brave Fantasy Gamer LV 50 to fight Ren who in turn pulls out a Bugvisor to assume his Bugster form. But there's one detail Hiiro forgot, since Lovelica is a Bugster from a dating sim game, physical attacks won't work on him allowing Pinkie Pie to kick Brave's ass. Ren also has Saki pour salt and lemon juice on Hiiro's wounds by saying that all he did was for nothing before they leave him to stew in his failure.

 Back at Taiga's clinic Luke is slowly dying due to his infection from Lovelica and Nico doesn't want anything to do with him since he's basically a reminder of how she used to be. However there's no Lovelica vaccine so in order to save Luke they have to kill Lovelica. Back at CR Hiiro talks to Emu and Poppy about the investigation into where Kuroto ran off too, but nothing's come up. Though Emu might have a clue, during the events of the Kamen Rider Para-DX Hyper Battle Video he and Parado cleared a puzzle game Kuroto created and figures that that game was a trap to give him enough time to escape.

Get used to seeing this whenever Kuroto's involved it's basically his exclusive version of "there's a simple explanation for that" in being used to explain how and why he does half the shit he does.

 Speaking of; back at his mansion Kuroto lays out the terms behind Ren and Saki's restoration. He unlocked her data from the Proto Gashat and cultivated Ren's virus in Luke but like Cinderella unless Ren can become complete before midnight the next day he and Saki will be reduced back to data and disappear. Though it looks like he might have to worry about that end as Luke being the creepy stalker fuckstick that he is, well Nico can't stand the sight of him. After Hiiro has a walk down memory lane about his and Saki's relationship Tiaga pulls out the one thing he can use to get past Lovelica's defenses, the Kamen Rider Chronicle Gashat. He tries to transform into Chronos with it but since it requires a perfect immunity to all strains of the Bugster virus to use it it causes severe pain to him and he blacks out.

 The next day Kujo calls out Hiiro to give him information on the Kuroto investigation that according to eyewitnesses they saw someone rather interesting and gives him a map of the locations Lovelica was seen at. But before Kujo can offer assistance Nico calls Hiiro for help with Taiga hemorrhaging blood all over the place trying to control the power of Chronos and he runs off. After an interesting conversation between Kujo and Feelgood Hiiro makes it to the clinic where he learns why Taiga was trying to do this craziness, develop the perfect Antibody not only to defeat Lovelica, but restore Saki to atone for his failure to save her in the first place.

 Hiiro doesn't want Taiga to kill himself over this and tries to assuage his concerns by going after Lovelica himself but Taiga knows that only Cronus can disable Lovelica's defenses so he ambushes Hiiro and fights him. The two are barely standing after the encounter but Taiga leaves and after some melodrama he steals the Bugvisor 2 from Poppy. Though this is suicide since only Bugsters or a Patient Zero can use that driver otherwise it could be fatal to normal Gamer Driver users. Nevertheless before midnight Taiga manages to find Saki and Lovelica and using the Bugvisor 2 finally manages to become Kamen Rider Chronos and engages him managing to negate his anti-volience defenses and his brainwashing on Saki, but eventually his body collapses under the strain of Chronos and powers down, the Kamen Rider Chronicle Gashat flying away from the driver.

 Thankfully he has a tag team partner, Hiiro transforming into Legacy Gamer Lv 100 becomes a literal knight in shining armor and finally kills Lovelica. After he and Saki have one last heart to heart, midnight strikes and Saki fades away again until the Knight can finally awaken her from her spell of endless sleep. But this isn't where our story ends as with Lovelica's death Luke is cured and he and Nico decide to return to America to settle their beef once and for all. Also this was all according to God Dan Kuroto's plan, he got what he wanted from Lovelica, Taiga's Kamen Rider Chronicle Gashat. Now that it could be used to attain the power of Chronos it can be used to reproduce the Master Gashat. So Brave and Snipe ends with Kuroto using the new Master Gashat to restore his father, Dan Masamune with the help of his accomplice Dr Feelgood!

 So that was Ex-Aid another Ending Brave and Snipe and it did work to give some closure to Hiiro and Taiga regarding Saki and how they both failed to save her as well as Taiga returning the favor for Hiiro saving his life back in the main series. The return of Lovelica can be a bit head scratching as the full effects of Cronus' reset is questionable, even in the main series it just seemed like something the writers pulled out of their asses to keep the plot going, though with what little is explained about reset it certainly is plausible, especially with God Dan Kuroto's programing capabilities. The Nico and Luke subplot was a bit unnecessary since we already got some development for Nico and adding this old rival of hers into the mix was unnecessary, though it probably worked better then just infecting some random person with Lovelica's virus to get this whole thing started.

 But we're not done here so come by next time for Parado and Poppy's stories.

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Family Guy is owned by Seth Mcfarline, 20th century fox television, Fuzzy door Productions and Fox Television animation. 
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is owned by Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Python (Monty) Pictures and EMI films.  

Video Game Review: Persona Retrospective: Persona (PSP) Part 9: They're eating her, and then they're gonna eat me.

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So the group finally and I do mean finally make it all the way up to Kandori's lair where he's not exactly feeling all that good. Even when Aki offers to kill the group right then and there he just tells her to piss off and she does. Essentially the reason why he stopped acting like a bad Final Fantasy villain (at least for right now) is because even after he gained the power of a god he doesn't feel like he actually accomplished anything, so he asks the group what it is they're living for. He says that goals are what gives people the strength to carry on living, so after every single goal you have is achieved, what's the damn point? Mark says that they live to make the most out of every second of life.

 Reiji says its to wipe Kandori's bloodline off the face of the earth; question; does that include yourself? Kandori asks Naoya who replies that his purpose is to find his purpose. Well my solution, find something new, trust me if anyone has true desire, then nothing will ever be enough. You're essentially a god now right so take the route Dr Manhattan did and create new life in another part of the universe, come on this isn't all that difficult dude; you have all the time in the world.

Or you would if you really were a god, because guess what Kandori? Unless you truly are this all powerful entity that you claim to be you would have come across this solution already, but the truth is, you aren't a god; just a sad, miserable, egotistical schmuck with Crazy Steve level delusions of grandeur. Nanjo pretty much says that adding that seeing Kandori like this is just painful to watch him acting this pathetic. He knows that Kandori admits that he did absolutely nothing on his own and that's why he's sunken to this level. He says that Kandori and Maki's desire to destroy everything comes from their anxiety of the future; that if everyone feels as miserable and scared as they are that would somehow make them better.

Kandori snaps at this and attacks. After he's beaten; guess what you're still not done. Kandori's Persona Nyarlathotep turns out to not actually be his Persona and forcibly gives Kandori more power, transforming him into a monster called God Kandori. God Kandori is going to kick your teeth in. Not only does this transformation occur right after the fight with Kandori but it's still the same battle, so all the damage you took in the first battle is carried over into this fight, joy. Also God Kandori's weaknesses have almost completely reversed from his first form; he's stronger, has new attacks and has more HP. Yeah, have fun with that.

So once Kandori and Nyarlathotep are down for the count Nanjo asks him where the real Maki is. Where the alternate reality is revealed to be the real Maki's world in her heart; everything she knows as perfect and idealistic as she intended where everything is perfectly fitting with her world view from before her hospitalization, born from her despair of being trapped in the hospital, with little chance of getting better, cursing the world for her frailty, and her isolation from her friends and workaholic mother. The world was created when Maki's mind became linked to the Deva system before the first successful test run was finished one month ago. Her mind supposedly synchronized with the system creating a link between the worlds where Kandori entered and came into contact with Mai and well we know the rest.

Hey um, remember that X-Men reference back in Part 4? Yeah let me see if I've got this straight, a woman who is under extreme psychological stress, cursing the world for its unfairness and cruelty uses an unnatural power to create an alternate, ideal reality? OH MY GOD, PERSONA 1 REALLY IS HOUSE OF M!

Though thankfully this is nowhere near as stupid as House of M. It turns out that the Maki in the group, Aki and Mai were also parts of the real Maki's heart, Maki's ideal self, and her dark and light parts of her inner child respectively. Maki of course freaks out about this and runs off to the real Maki who Kandori has been keeping in the castle. Kandori asks the group to save Maki from becoming like him with his last breath.

So he dies and I'm sure he and Nyarlathotep will never trouble the world again. The group manages to find the Maki's with the real one hooked up to the Deva System like a life support machine. Aki is of course furious over Kandori's death and says that there's no one left who can save them now that they've killed the only person the real Maki could count on. Ideal Maki is not exactly stable at this point and is freaking out, even with everyone trying to calm her down she knows that everything that's happened, the town getting wrecked, the demons, Kandori nearly killing humanity is because of her. Aki and Ideal Maki run off with the Mirror of Chaos showing the Deva System overloading shattering the core and the Mirror of Chaos shatters as well leaving the group little chance of getting back inside the world of Maki's heart.

However the Ideal Maki left behind her compact and find another compact mirror on the real Maki. The real Maki's compact is complete while the Ideal Maki's is empty so the group fill in the empty compact with shard of the Mirror of Chaos and use its power to go back inside Maki's heart. One trip later and the group wakes up in the entrance of the Lost Forest with Setsuko waiting for them. Nanjo explains everything to Setsuko and take her with her to meet with Mai who's crying in the forest. They find her in her gingerbread house again and Setsuko apologizes to her for everything that's happened.

After she calms down Mai says that Aki has gone off the deep end and has gone to awaken the darkest, most evil part of Maki's heart, a monster called Pandora. Aki was then swallowed by Pandora who is now trying to completely destroy the world of Maki's heart which would end up killing the real Maki. The group asks where Pandora is and theorize that she could be behind the door in the Library that they couldn't open before. Mai says they're right but they'll need the power of the three compacts and the help of the Ideal Maki. They already have the green and red ones but they still need the last one and the Ideal Maki. Mai says that Ideal takes priority and that she's deeper in the forest. So the group finds Idea where's she's not exactly in a talkative mood.

Nor a very distinguishable mood right now.

She tells everyone to go away and that's she's going through her "I'm a monster" phase right now and with everything we've learned so far realizing that she's ultimately the cause of all this BS I can't exactly refute her claims.

See Shouichi, this is someone who's fears about being a monster are justified you self-absorbed butt-plug.

Mark and the others basically tell her that it's perfectly human to be jealous in someway or another and that no matter what happens, she's their friend. But she still insists that everything is her fault and that she's the worst person alive, until Naoya tells her to stop hiding behind her misplaced guilt. With some more words of encouragement from the rest of the group Maki comes to her senses and joins up with the rest of the group to stop Pandora. Back at the Gingerbread house Mai explains that to get to the last compact they have to find the true Maki Sonomura.

The one that they got from the real world doesn't have the power they require, Mai says that the real Maki's consciousness is hiding in the Alaya Cavern behind the shrine. Setsuko agrees to stay behind with Mai while the team goes to the cavern to find the real Maki. Mai gives them one more instruction. That when they have all three compacts, chant the spell Erusaer Tsymmom (Mommy's Treasure backwards) at the door and they'll finally have access to Pandora. Now to prepare for next time where we enter the cavern, find the real Maki and stop Pandora once and for all.

Shin Megami Tensai Persona is owned by Atlus and Sega.
Troll 2 is owned by Claudio Fragasso, Filmirage and Epic Productions.
Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun-mak is owned by Telltale Games and Chuck Jordan.
Monty Python' life of Brian is owned by Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Python (Monty) Pictures and Orion Pictures and Warner Bros. 
Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
 

Video Game Review: Persona Retrospective: Persona (PSP) Part 8: Blooming for me and you

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The team finally made it out of the Black Market and head to Kandori's castle in the third ward. However there is of course a catch. Aki meets them at the front door and says that they can't get in without "the one from the forest" there but she's too much of a chicken so that ain't gonna be happening anytime soon. She then runs inside and closes the door behind her. Mark tries to push open the door while Nanjo notices that Aki placed something in the pedestal and that they won't be getting inside without finding the second half of the key, and since she mentioned the one hiding in the forest on the west side of town that's where they've got to go now. Reiji tries to just bulldoze his way inside screw his BS but Mark tells him to calm down and that he completely loses it when Kandori is involved and that whatever it is he doesn't have to carry it all on his own. Reiji just says that they all make him sick with that kind of grade school crap. Maki tells him to knock it off but Mark says that whether he's disgusted or not, they all have the same goal anyway. So now they're off to the Lost Forest which means back through that stupid subway again.

Once they made it back they head off to the shops to get new equipment and then to the Velvet Room to see what new Personas they can get before finally heading off to the Forest. Once they finally made it through the forest they find a gingerbread house (seriously) where they find a little girl in a white dress, Mark recognizes her as being the ghost from the historical society and asks if she's allies with Aki. The girl starts sobbing at this accusation Maki goes to comfort her and asks if she's Mai, she says yes.

Is it just me or does she seem familiar? Nah probably just me.

Maki then notices that Mai has a half-moon shaped compact mirror that looks suspiciously like hers. They ask if Aki is Mai's friend. She then starts sobbing again saying that Aki is the evil her. She said that one day Kandori showed up and Aki just came out of Mai and went with him.

Mai also explains more about what the mirrors are, she claims that it has the power to grant wishes and that she was the one who created the town and everyone in it! Maki asks what Mai didn't just use her mirror to stop Kandori and Aki but she says it only works properly with the full mirror and Aki has the other half, with it she can just cancel out Mai's wishes and that's why she retreated to the Forest. Thus Kandori's trap, he knows that Mai would use whatever power she had left to keep him and Aki out, so he set it up so that Naoya and his group have no choice but to get the other half of the mirror for him, smart bastard. Mai knows this and tells the group they can't have the mirror and that she should keep hiding from Kandori. But the group tells her that hiding from her problems won't solve anything. Mai then asks the big question, what are they living for anyway that would make them try so hard in the first place? The rest of the group doesn't know but Naoya says that it's to find that reason that keeps him going. That convinces Mai to give the compact to him. And sure enough when the group makes it back to the castle and place the half inside of the pedestal it sinks into the ground and the door opens. So the sneaky jackass has both half's of the wish granting mirror and is just letting the heroes come up because he fell into one of the biggest evil villain cliches. He's being overconfident that nothing can stop his plans and is inviting the heroes up just so he can gloat. I'm pretty sure that's somewhere on the evil Overlord list, so yeah, dumb ass. So the group manages to make it to the fifth floor where sure enough Kandori is up there waiting for them just so he can gloat. But not before he reveals that Reiji is his,

Yep, and the reason why Reiji is so obsessed with killing Kandori is because Reiji's  Mother was their father's mistress who he just used and threw away like a dirty dishrag. And since their father is dead Reiji figures that Kandori is close enough, especially since he's as much of a scumbag as their father. Kandori just has Aki zap Reiji with a lightening attack to shut him up. Kandori then has Aki show the group his plans and ambitions by summoning a giant evil mirror called the Mirror of Chaos to show that he destroyed the hospital back in the real world and created his own castle in it's place called Deva Yuga. From there Kandori will begin his campaign to conquer the world, gain the power of a god and exterminate humanity using the power of his Mirror of Chaos to gain control of dimensions without the use of the Deva System. Kandori and Aki then head to the real world leaving a demon behind to stall for time. Saurva can cause some problems if you don't heal Reiji, Mark and Nanjo fast after Kandori's attacks, even then his Mamagnara attack will hit everyone with Earth damage so take that into consideration when equipping Personas, other then that he should go down faster from Fire, Ice and Wind attacks. Once he's dealt with the group try to find a way to chase after Kandori. Maki suggests the Old Mansion where there were rumors of people being spirited away. It could lead to a clue, especially since SEBEC HQ is located in the exact same place in the real world; there might be a tear or something that could lead back to their world. So off to the mansion they go and once they made it to the mansions top floor they find a device guarded by the demon Hariti. But something seems off since Hariti is speaking with the voice of Maki's mom. The group puts their weapons away and Hariti transforms back into Setsuko. Nanjo explains about this version of Maki to her and before any questions can be answered the portal starts to close so Setsuko stays behind to keep the portal stable while they stop Kandori. Once the group makes it back to the real world they find themselves back inside of the Deva System Chamber where they find Dr Nicholai where he's spouting about the destruction of mankind, letting judgement rain over all humanity and other such nihilistic evil BS. Kandori then teleports in and says that everyone on earth are little more then extensions of himself now and are praising his coming genocide of humanity. When Maki asks why he want to do this he says that that question sounds unlike her. He says that with the mirror he knows and sees all and he once again does the cliche thing and instead of killing them tells them to reach him at the top of Deva Yuga. So up to the top they go and GOOD GOD IS THIS PLACE BIG! No really this is one of the biggest areas in the game, filled to the brim with super strong enemies traps, pitfalls and various other nasty surprises. To all that are reading this and playing the game, good luck. Tune in next time on the Persona retrospective where after we fight Kandori we reveal a new twist!

Shin Megami Tensai Persona is owned by Atlus and Sega.
Superman III is owned by Warner Bros. Cantharus Productions N.V, and Dovemead Films.
Drawn Together is owned by Comedy Central, Dave Jeser, Matt Silverstein, Double Hemn, and Rough Draft Studios.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is owned by Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Python (Monty) Pictures and EMI films.  

Tokusatsu Review: Ressha Sentai Toqger Vs Kyoryuger The Movie Part 1: Valiant Vision.

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 This movie is going to be a problem, as you may or may not know I have, well a definitive opinion of Toqger. But I don't want to look like a psychotic lunatic describing my feelings about Toqger, so I will leave my good friend Silky Johnson, a true trained and learned hater to give my feelings about the 38th Super Sentai.

 A true hater; one that I hope and fear will become someday. But I've gone on record long enough about my hatred of these unimaginative morons; time to talk about their predecessors; Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger. They're the strongest braves in history who fought against the Deboss army, an army of monsters that caused the extermination of the Dinosaurs millions of years ago. In the modern day they tried to revive their master Deboss by gathering emotional energy from people. I think Kyoryuger was an okay series, but the complaints I have with it are pretty much the same as everyone else, too much focus on Daigo especially when this team had a roster of TEN RANGERS that the extra development could have gone to but it wasn't because reasons, way too much explosions (thank you Sakamoto) and the show in general was a bit too goofy for my taste.

 I'll get into this more when I decide to talk about the first eight episodes of Kyoryuger's adaptation Power Rangers Dino Charge but I'm definitely liking Dino Charge more then Kyoryuger. So for right now let's see how these two teams mix and if I have to hurl afterwords from digesting the concoction. We open in space where Lady, a character from Toqger's other movie "Galaxy Line SOS" (also I see the Thomas the Tank Engine reference you made by naming her "Lady" nice try) reports to the Rainbow line that a Galaxy Line station has been attacked by a mass of green energy and both are on a collision course with the earth. So our army of Tom Hanks wannabees transform and head to the crash site to see what exactly caused the station to crash, discovering Zorimas and Cambrimas the foot solders and elite foot solders of the Deboss army emerging from the green energy seeping from the crashed station. The team tries to fight them off but their attack do jack all against them. Kagura is about to be killed by a Zorima until a certain duo shows up.

Yep the return of Daigo (Kyoryu Red) and Amy (Kyoryu Pink)

 The two veterans easily take care of the goons while Tokatti and Kagura wonder who they are. Um you two should know at least half of that question since, oh wait that movie never happened never mind. The two then get saved by Nossan (Kyoryu Blue) from the grunt, but not from his puns.

 Yep, Nossan absolutely loves these word puns, at least the guys at Tv Nihon did the translations as best as they could and explained what this highball joke was so it didn't go completely over our heads. But still just because I have to, here's the clip just out of principal.

 Mio then gets saved by Ian (Kyoryu Black) while Souji (Kyoryu Green) one of the least developed characters in Kyoryuger saves Hikari, my favorite Toqger and who I think is the real leader of the group. As the Kyoryugers do their literally explosive introduction they inadvertently pull a Ziggy from RPM and catch the Toqgers in their back explosion sending them flying. HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, eh that's just plain old fashioned funny for several reasons, not the least of which showing how incompetent the Toqgers are. Hell the first 15 minutes of this movie seems to be dedicated to doing just that, and I am more then happy with that. Yeah I know the cardinal rule of any team up is to not make one faction look better then the other, but if the one that looks bad is Toqger I soooooooooooooo don't care. So while the train twits lick their burn marks the Kyoryugers clean house with the grunts.

Right, why is it that almost every time you open your mouth you say something stupid?

 The Kyoryugers try to get to the station but are stopped by a green force field. Unfortunately like the Kyoryuger series itself the other members of the team search for a way to break the shield leaving Daigo to get all of the character interaction with the Toqgers. Really? The rest of the team didn't think to ask the Toqgers what they know about the situation and compare notes to hopefully find out what caused this; especially since this is tied into their group and network of allies? Oh wait there goes me and my logic again. Yeah why would we want to see the primary members of this team up bounce off of each other and get interesting character interactions based off of how different and similar they are?

 Who would want to watch that? Heh heh, oy vey. Anyway after Daigo shows off his new haircut the Toqgers start asking Daigo questions which Conductor wants answered immediately and brings them on the trains so Daigo can explain it all. Also, yes Daigo can see and board the trains, because he has imagination.

 Sorry but I have to do that everytime Toqger mentions Imagination, yeah that part still pisses me off and you should too. After more dialogue that causes brain tumors with every period Daigo explains that the station was brought down by Devius, the being responsible for creating Deboss and thus the Deboss army. Speaking of which Devius' henchman; Salamas is meeting with Zett and the rest of the Shadow Line to ask for help keeping the two Sentai teams off his back while Devius gains a physical form.

Wait a minute, this looks familiar. Oh god Devius is a Pillar Man! This might explain what happened to Kars after Joseph sent him into space. He got sent through a worm hole into this universe, was converted into a mass of energy and using his powers as the Ultimate Life form, created Deboss as a means to conquer the universe!

 And in exchange they'll help Zett kill the Toqgers. Zett agrees and decides to loan Salamas a Shadow Kaijin. Salamas thanks Zett by kissing his robe which caused Morc to attack him for stepping out of line. After hearing the situation from Daigo the Toqgers offer their help but Daigo refuses pointing out how their weapons and attacks were useless against the grunts. He also senses something about them, something childish that he doesn't want to put in danger. Daigo then does a dine and dash as he JUMPS OUT OF THE MOVING TRAIN AND LANDS WITHOUT A SCRATCH! Right, not one to listen to reason, sound advice or anything that doesn't come from his own noise hole decides that they're going to fight Devius anyway, even though they know that their weapons and attacks can't hurt him and his creations.

 While everyone tries to keep Right under control we cut to Utchy (Kyoryu Gold) waiting for Daigo at the train station. Our movie exclusive monster shows up with some Kuros; the Shadow Line's foot solders and after a silly little exchange Utchy tries to fight off the forces.

The decorated decorum devoted dunce in the middle is Clock Shadow.

 However just like when the Toqgers couldn't hurt the Deboss grunts with their weapons, Utchy's sword can't cut it with the Shadow Line grunts either. Thankfully the other Toqger that I can stand, Akira shows up to help Utchy fend off the Kuros. After a pointless scene of Right making a right ass out of himself we cut back to the fight where Clock Shadow starts, well pretending he's a clock striking 12, Akira warns Utchy to run and not listen to him sing, Utchy of course refuses to run, the Toqgers then show up and Clock Shadow starts singing again forcing Akira to summon the Build Ressha to get them all to retreat. Clock Shadow orders the Kuros to go after them, when a certain group of gaudy Ninjas show up, and no one of them isn't Pierre Kirby; it's the Ninningers. Yep as is tradition now with these crossover movies we get a preview/showcase of the next seasons Sentai, though they usually come in near the end of the movie.

 So yeah this an odd change of pace but a good one in my opinion. So for the next five minutes we get the Ninningers destroying all the Kuros and chasing Clock Shadow off, but not before he summons a Kurainer to squash them. Instead of summoning their Otomo Nin they instead use a Nin Shuriken that they just pulled out of their ass (so far not sure if this will actually be introduced in the show as of 5/6/15) to shrink the Kurainer to human size so they can finish it off with their finishing attack.

"Dad, the movie's talking to me again" "I'll fire up the electroshock machine."

 After Deadpool found his new targets for stealing his schtick we cut back to the Toqgers who have now been turned into kids, or rather restored to normal. As for Utchy, well.....

BABY!

 Yeah it turns out that Clock Shadow has the ability to age regress a person; the longer they listen to his clock impression the farther back they go. Wait hold on, the longer the victim is exposed to the effects the younger they become. The one who has this power is weird, malicious and works for a guy who is viewed as the embodiment of pure evil.

 OH GOD GET AWAY! The fact that Clock Shadows voice actor Masaya Onosaka is also the voice actor for Alessi does not help matters at all, in fact the little voice in my head is telling me that this casting choice and Clock Shadow's powers was made as an intentional reference. Ugh anyway Akira says that Clock Shadow's powers don't work on other Shadows and that's why he's fine. With the Toqgers occupied with Chibichi the Kyoryugers are trying to get to Devius, with no success, Daigo then summons Gabutyra to take a crack at it, however Kurainers show up to reinforce the barrier with darkness, so even with Gabutyra they can't get in. Akira calls the Kyoryugers to show them what happened to Utchy and the Toqgers.

GET IT?! Yeah I can't honestly believe they went there.

 Ugh this whole review is getting squicky. What makes me feel even more uncomfortable is the fact that RIGHT of all people comes to the realization that the team's respective powers don't work on the other teams enemies. So for Devius to be stopped both teams have to work together. Clock Shadow shows up with an army of Kuros, Zorimas and Cambrimas. The Kyoryugers transform to protect the kids, however Right and the other kids can still transform and do so.

Couldn't we have these Toqgers instead?

 Now time for me to explain something about my hatred for Toqger. Everyone I've seen defending this show says that "they're kids in adult bodies what do you expect of course they're going to be annoying, kids are annoying." Yeah I get that but here's the thing, the show says that the team are kids in adult bodies, but for me, it comes off as the leads being adults that are acting like children, and there is a gigantic difference. We know that kids more often enough do indeed act like the Toqgers, but again the problem is that as far as we can tell Adults are acting like Children! Do you get where I'm coming from?

 But to be perfectly honest, for the rest of the movie where the Toqgers are kids, they are 1000 more tolerable for me. If the team from the start were portrayed by child actors this show would have fared far better in my eyes. I mean say what you will about Kou from Dairanger, Riki from Ohranger or Justin from Power Rangers Turbo at least when they were Rangers they were still kids in their civilian forms, you could have done what those shows or even Beetleborgs did, have the child actors and just have them grow to adult proportions when they transform, or even switch to more grown up voices while they're transformed so there won't be any scheduling conflicts with their schoolwork or whatever. Because from what little I've seen here these kids should have been the main heroes of the show, that change would have removed at least 50% of my rage at this show and make Right far more tolerable as a character, because this behavior is more tolerable from a kid then a grown ass adult. Also it seems that Right is acting more mature as a kid then he was as an adult. Okay, rant over.

YOU LEAVE THOSE CHILDREN ALONE YOU MONSTER!

I have Chris Hanson and I'm not afraid to use him.

 So the two teams on Right's suggestion swaps their power totems with their opposite number, the Toqgers give the Kyoryugers their Resshas and the Kyoryugers give their Zyudenchi batteries, with the totems inserted (somehow) into their respective devices the fight is on. Akira would have joined in on this but, well he still has Chibichi to look after. And the core swap worked, as the combined forces can hurt both groups of foot solders now.

OH GOD NOT THAT THING AGAIN!

 Great, that's just what this movie needed, the return of the unholy love child of Majin Buu and a dumpling. Long story go watch episode 15 to see the context behind this stupid looking abomination. So after, that the grunts are gone and all that's left is the mechanized Don Patch. Meanwhile the Shadow Line chew out Salamas for his plan going pear shaped. Salamas however lives up to his name and sets Castle Terminal on fire, yeah that part of Zetts cape he kissed? Yeah apparently that was him planing the "fuse" as it were for his pyrokinetic abilities. So he torches the place, steals some Kurainers and makes tracks. The two teams combine their powers to destroy Clock Shadow, but before he can grow Salamas steals the darkness and grows, fusing five Kuros with him to make,

THIS UNGODLY STUPID LOOKING THING!

 I mean come on, are you kidding me with this thing? Look I get what they were going for, mixing a train with a dragon. I know that dragons were often grouped together with Salamanders in European mythology and modern depictions of Salamanders often cast them as being associated with fire and I guess the producers wanted to mix the themes of the two villain groups together but come on!  There's mixing and matching and then there's taking two puzzle pieces from completely different sets and slamming them together until they kind of fit. So the teams summon their mechs, fire their lasers at Salamas, and they can't aim for crap. Salamas somehow manages to survive the initial assault so the team summon their strongest mechs ToQ Rainbow and Gigant Kyoryujin to destroy Salamas. With his destruction the Toqgers and Utchy grow to their adult forms again.

 However they're too late, Devius has awakened and just with a single laser blast nearly destroys both mechs forcing the teams to retreat. Next time we conclude this movie and I give my final thoughts.

Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Chappelle's Show is owned by Dave Chappelle, Comedy Central, MGM Television and Comedy Partners.
Batman: The Animated Series is owned by Dc Comics, Warner Brothers and Paul Dini.
Ultima IX: Ascension is owned by Electronic Arts, Origin Systems, and Richard Garriot AKA Lord British.
Deadfall is owned by Tristar Pictures and Christopher Coppola. 
The Tick: The Animated Series is propriety of  Hank Tucker, Sunbow Entertainment, Graz Entertainment, Fox Children’s Productions and Disney Media Distribution 
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is propriety of Hirohiko Araki, David Production, Tokyo MX, Warner Bros Entertainment and Viz Media. 
To Catch a Predator is owned by NBC Studios. 
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is owned by Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Python (Monty) Pictures and EMI films. 

Tokusatsu Review: Shuriken Sentai Ninninger Vs. Kamen Rider Drive Spring Special: Part Two: Ninja Cops

You know I'm really starting to get sick and tired of seeing the word "Ninja" in so many goddamn titles. With all these references I keep making I feel like I'm going to turn into a certain far more successful and talented critic, maybe if I start reviewing Godfrey Ho movies and filming myself sitting on the floor with terrible video and audio quality my views might pick up. Eh maybe someday. Anyway we open this special on one of Izayoi's Yokai attacking people so she can gather more fear; thanking a man with Silver hair for aiding in the creation of this Yokai.

This is Yokai Buruburu, who looks like if someone tried to cover car parts with paper mache.

The Ninningers show up to kick his ass. After Buruburu introduces himself Nagi makes a joke about his name and Buruburu goes nuts and tackles him which leads Cloud to think that the Sealing Shuriken might have attached to a car. See the reason why is the word Buruburu is also the Japanese pronunciation for Vroom (also spelt varoom,) which is an onomatopoeia that represents the sound of an engine revving up.Which to be perfectly honest sounds clever to me, or at the very least it sounds like the type of joke I would make if my knowledge of the Japanese language were higher. Back to the fight Takaharu tries to attack Buruburu from behind when it activates the heaviness, wait WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Yeah it triggers the heaviness and kicks the Ninningers ass' before he escapes. The Heaviness wears off and Takaharu gets fired at by Tridoron, since Drive thinks that all five of the Ninningers are Roidmudes. Which is pretty stupid since they don't look anything close to previously encountered Roidmudes. The Sentai team engages the Rider and both parties are pretty even; even when Drive uses his Shuriken themed Shift car Midnight Shadow to gain an advantage. It doesn't work as they just use their substitution Jutsu to catch Drive off-guard, only for him to switch to Type Technic to blast their projectiles. Takaharu asks why in the hell Drive is attacking them, its as I said Drive thinks they were the Roidmudes that attacked earlier, the Ninningers of course have no idea what the hell he's talking about. When the group tells Drive that they're Ninjas Drive doesn't buy it for some reason.

You have to deal with shape-shifting monsters on a weekly or so basis and yet you draw the line at brightly colored Ninjas? What a useless guy.

Kiriko shows up which clues the Ninningers in that Drive is with the police. Takaharu is relived as he can just prove his innocence and be on his way. Okay then.

OUR HEROES EVERYONE one is an, impulsive, out of character idiot and the other is a just plain old fashioned idiot.

The others manage to get away as our brave Red is taken to the clink. Meanwhile Go, aka Kamen Rider Mach is taking pictures of some strange phenomena in the sky.

Hey as long as we don't start seeing a images of a flying city held up by giant balloons I think they'll be fine.

We then move to the Igasaki mansion as the four that got away have tea with their uncle/ father (in Fuuka and Takaharu's case) Tsumuji Igasaki while discussing how to take down Buruburu. They're not too worried about Takaharu since of course he's a Ninja and can escape by himself with no problem. Speaking of, Shinnosuke and Kiriko compile Takaharu's story, not exactly believing his whole "We're the Ninninger" story, apparently they haven't heard of them before this; well yeah it makes sense since the Ninninger have only been active for 5 episodes at this point in time so, yeah.

UNCLEAN HEATHEN! How dare you claim to have descended from the great and powerful Mako?

Forgive him lord Mako, he knew not what he did.

 After being forgiven by Lord Mako for that bit of blasphemy Shinnosuke is still exasperated with Takaharu and just wants him to confess to being a Roidmude, while the interrogation is going on Krim (through the eyes of the Type Speed Shift Car) analyses Takaharu's outfit and armaments and discovers that they aren't from this world and that they could be dangerous. But before Shinnosuke can put Takaharu in the ultimate torture device; the comfy chair he just poofs out of the room. Meanwhile Izayoi is overjoyed by the amount of fear she was able to collect, thanks to the help of Heart, Brain, Medic and Mr Silver over there. Brain doesn't take kindly to Izayoi calling them mechanical dolls but Medic and Heart tell him to knock it off since, either way they're monsters to humans.

Hey Boss, can I play? Not until you gather more fear young Yokai!

Back at the ranch Shinnosuke is looking for Takaharu who powers down after dicking around with him. Shinnosuke has a slight break down trying to figure Takaharu out, but before Shinnosuke can be taken away by those nice young men in their clean white coats we find the two old goats arguing about the existence of Yokai.

I love Otta's face there "ohohooooo no I ain't gettin involved with that."

After arguing about how both of their shows are silly the heaviness is activated as the other Ninningers are under attack by Buruburu. Takaharu and Shinnosuke head off to the scene as Go takes more pictures of the green disturbance and gets intercepted by a green Rider.

This is GP's villain Rider, Kamen Rider No. 3. Now to start a game, every time you see a Shocker emblem, take a shot.

Go transforms into Mach and engages Sangou while Takaharu finds the rest of his team shivering in absolute terror in a puddle, when Takaharu tries to find out what happened the heaviness is activated and the girls send him flying, the shift cars then arrive and knock them back. Shinnosuke thinks that the five are Roidmudes after all but Takaharu just tells him to stand back after claiming to show him how he beats a Yokai. Takaharu engages the others, but when it looks like he lost his Ichibantou countering Cloud he actually engaged his Meramera ja fire attack to strike the puddle, which turned out to be Buruburu in disguise emitting the heaviness. The others were just covered in Buruburu's fear causing mucus, which explains why they were attacking Takaharu. Finally convincing Shinnosuke of their innocence Takaharu transforms into AkaNinger to fight Buruburu with the rest of his siblings. After Buruburu regenerates from Takaharu's slash, Krim notices that Buruburu's body is composed of a Viral Core, the body that houses a Roidmudes Core. Suddenly Doc Brown shows up with Izayoi and two Roidmudes, #016 and #057 and he reveals his true form.

I don't know whether Scarecrow would laugh or be jealous of this joker.

Scratch that, he'd be laughing his ass off.

He turns out to be Roidmude #089 and with that revelation Shinnosuke transforms into Drive to engage the Roidmudes, noting that something is different with #089. The Ninningers use their finishing move on Buruburu, destroying him and changing him back to a purified sealing shuriken which is taken by Izayoi which is then given to #089 saying that there's still a use for it. #089 suggests using the other two Roidmudes and Izayoi agrees; using her Goten Yo Shuriken to make #016 and #057 grow. #057 grabs Drive as the Ninningers summon their Otomo Nin, when we cut to Brain recreating the same joke as last time, with Heart and Medic not believing Brain when he tells them about the battle between the giants even though it's right behind them, yet they don't see it when they get out of view. All that served was Brain thinking he's going nuts, MOVING ON! The team form Shurikenjin.

Asymmetrical as all hell in terms of design and individual components but it really does work.

The two Giant Roidmudes engage Shurikenjin with #057 still holding Drive, they manage to get Drive free by tickling #057 yes seriously, and Drive lands safely on a building.

You sure he's fine? Ah he has armor and Mad Doctor it's all good.

The Bat Roidmude begins an aerial assault so Takaharu summons UFOmaru to engage for a 2 Vs 2 battle.

"We are about to engage the Roidmude, your orders sir?"  "Increase speed, drop down and reverse direction!"

Such brilliant tactics ground the bat and the team combines UFOmaru with Shurikenjin to create Shurikenjin UFO.

             
Using the power of Space the team destroys the two Roidmudes and their Cores. But suddenly UFOmaru disappears into the green tear. Alright you shmucks YOU TWO KNOW ABOUT THIS DON'T YOU?! Show up and confess already!
         

You get points for being on the right track. You lose points however for not finding the true culprit, much like that detective who is resting his physical and psychological trauma. Now now brother, be nice he at least knows where to start looking. But he should at least know that there are others in those worlds who may yet create similar phenomena. Perhaps one may be responsible right now; perhaps we should visit these worlds more often to observe and come to our own conclusions. Sir could you perhaps be a travel guide and give us a hand as to where to visit first?

 I'm not letting you to get anywhere near this mess, I don't want to imagine what could happen, it could make Crisis on Infinite Earths look like the Anglo Zanzibar war by comparison. Spoilsport. Though he does have a point. In this world he might, in others perhaps not. Perhaps he should be looking at our current set of players now. There are those who belong yet don't. They don't belong and yet they should. Time to get a move on. We should be along as well. Wait, where are you two going?

On holiday. Where we're going you may not follow. But you can follow if you may.

I don... I just, ugh I don't get you two. Anyway Izayoi shows up and tells them that UFOmaru didn't disappear but that it was erased from existence. She then says that they are actually in Drive's world, not their home-world. O_O WAIT COME BACK YOU TWO, I'M SORRY HELP MEEEEEEEE!!!

Seems they aren't returning my calls, crap. She says that the dimensional distortion that brought them to this world was created when she used a corrupted sealing shuriken on a Spider Viral Core creating the Roidmude Yokai hybrid Buruburu. OKAY STOP, foul on the field. How in the hell did Izayoi even get into the world of the Riders without the distortion in the first place? Does she have the power to travel between worlds already? Did a tear open up and she just threw the sealing shuriken inside or was there someone else who created a tear and Izayoi come through to help make it bigger? It's obviously related to the green thing in the sky since that's what Izayoi used to get back to the Ninningers' home-world leaving them stranded to eventually be erased from existence. if anything it might have something to do with #089 since she was confident to leave Buruburu's Sealing shuriken with him. Anyway she says that they will disappear starting with the oldest and that's way UFOmaru disappeared. We see Tsumuji pull a Marty Mcfly and start to become transparent while collapsing in pain, and I don't think a dance is going to help. To make matters worse the police show up to arrest the Ninningers for the destruction they caused fighting the Roidmudes. Hey come on it wasn't bad all things considered.

O_O Oh, um heh heh heh, it was just the abandoned buildings district?

Well, um good luck in the joint guys, remember not to drop the soap!

Will our nimble new Ninja team avoid joining a lifelong jailhouse jamboree? Will our red hot racing detective be able to save these jovial jujitsu using juveniles from singing the jailhouse blues? Will the Roidmudes savor this devilish dual dimensional destruction? Will Mach be able to put the breaks on Sangou before he crashes and burns? Will the Lutece duo stop horsing around and get their asses in gear in time to help our host? Tune in next time, same David time, same David blog!

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

Ninja Five-O is owned by Hudson Soft and Konami.
Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Nostalgia Critic is owned by Doug Walker, Channel Awesome, Blip.tv, and The Walt Disney Company.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is owned by Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Python (Monty) Pictures and EMI films.
My Little Pony Friendship is Magic is owned by Studio B Productions, DHX Media/Vancouver Hasbro Studios The Hub Network, Lauren Faust and Bonnie Zacherle.
Portal 2 is owned by Valve Corporation and Gabe Newell.