Tokusatsu Review: Top 16 Main Kamen Rider Final Forms Part 2 (Spoilers)

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 Now it's been a while since the first part of this list. Coincidentally I started this list on the one year anniversary of this very blog! So yeah, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Yep I somehow managed to keep this thing going for more then a year now so yay me! Now on to the list; but first to recap the Final Forms that just didn't work for me then to the ones that start to get decent.
16 Hibiki Armed
15 Ryuki Survive
14 Agito Shining
13 Decade Complete
12 Stronger Charge Up
11 Fourze Cosmic States
10 Faiz Blaster
9 Wizard Infinity Style

 Caught up? Good moving on.

#8 Kabuto Hyper Form

When I was watching this series I had heard that many people consider this to be one of the best Rider series in the Heisei era, but I just thought it was at least B+ instead of A+. Mostly because I found the main Rider Souji Tendou to be even more of a pretentious jackass then Tsukasa and even more of a Gary Stu. I mean for at least the first half of the series the guy was always right, was a master chief, a Kamen Rider and always has a quote from his "grandma" that always fit the situation. For me at least I'm thankful the other Riders and the occasional guest characters showed up to put Tendou in his place from time to time.

However I have to give all the praise to his Hyper Form. Normally any of the ZECT Riders have the ability to go into super sonic speeds to match the Worms who can also access the same speeds, not faster then a bullet fired from a handgun but still faster then normal humans can perceive. However Hyper Form lets Kabuto go twice as fast; even allowing him to travel through time! So move over Superman, Flash and Sonic there's a new speedster in town. Not only can Kabuto kill about 50 Worms in the time it takes me to fart but he also gets an awesome weapon, the Perfect Zecter.

Not only is it a badass sword,

but it can also turn into a giant gun!

Though there is a catch, to use this little toy Kabuto needs to not only utilize his Zecter but also the Drake, TheBee and Sasword Zecters to make it work, so in theory in a large group battle three Riders need to get one super powered Rider. Also how this form comes around is more then a little convoluted. So apparently ZECT designed the thing but didn't want Souji to get his hands on it since he didn't work for them even though the guy has been kicking the asses of the Worms far better then their chosen Riders who in turn have basically gone nuts due to their personalities not accepting failures. So yeah they destroy the Hyper Zecter but apparently another one shows up from an alternate time line; something that surprised ZECT even though they built the damn thing and should know it's capabilities which was apparently brought into the past by a future Tendou even if it shouldn't exist in the future since it was just destroyed and, and.

Oh surprise surprise the episodes where Hyper From was introduced was written by Toshiki Inoue, that's why it doesn't make any sense. Moving on; I really do like the designs of the Riders in Kabuto, with a return to the insect motif with the appropriate mix of the high tech design which makes sense since they were created with advanced technology. The Masked and Rider forms were also a nice touch, the preliminary Masked form acting as a technological cocoon and as extra armor until the Rider decides to use Cast off to molt into their Rider Forms. Hyper form seems to be the best mix with more armor to protect Kabuto but at the cost of running speed with all of the extra armor on him. Speaking of there are more patches of Red in Hyper form's extra armor to give more contrast to the black under suit which does make this form more distinct. So yeah Hyper Form is a clear finish to a faster then light Rider.

#7 Blade King Form

I think that Blade is a pretty good series, though not because of the main character Kenzaki. I honestly thought the guy was one of the most generic, boring main Riders I've seen. He pretty much filled the checklist for the stereotypical stock standard Japanese protagonist. Dead Parents, check, willing to fight to save others, check, having no other defining personality traits then saving people, check. The guy just came off as bland and the show itself is only propelled by the other Riders.

That being said I do love me some King Form, aesthetically this form does live up to its name as it does resemble a suit of armor that a warrior King might wear into battle, also.

Yeah I really do love the contrast of blue, black and gold, each of these colors and their placement helps make the individual parts of the suit look distinct. King From also frees Blade of having to consciously pull Rouze cards out of a deck to utilize them as King Form allows Blade to access any of the Spade suit cards which are merged into his armor, giving Blade more time to concentrate on his opponent. His weapon; the King Rouzer is an awesome broadsword which just like King Form itself gives Blade more power at the cost of speed. Though in the case of the King Form armor it gives Blade much higher defenses at the cost of speed and maneuverability.

 King Form also has a much more serious drawback aside from combat and performance. See in order for the Riders in Blade to become Riders they have to merge with the DNA of the Category Ace Undead card to transform. Normally transforming into their standard Ace form presents very little problems aside from the safety of utilizing the Form being dependent on ones mental state. However the DNA fusion between Rider and Undead increases with every form that's accessed.

 In Jack form the fusion is between not only the Category Ace but also that of the Jack and Queen since the Queen is the Rouze card that triggers the fusion. Then we have King Form which requires the merging of all 13 cards of that suit to utilize and if one stays in King Form for too long the user is transformed into a Joker.

No not that Joker.

Nor this Joker ( though I will cover him later).

Thankfully not this Joker either.

But this Joker.

 Now I won't go into much detail as to why becoming the evil green bug monster is a bad thing I'll save that for when I talk about the true protagonist of Blade when I decide to talk about favorite Secondary Rider Final Forms. So for now King Form may give some King sized problems but I still love it.

#6 Ultimate Kuuga

Kuuga is unfortunately one of those series that I haven't seen yet. I really do want to see it however but I just want to wait until TV Nihon finishes doing the Subs. I know that Midnight Crew has finished their subs but I want to see it with the TV Nihon quality without having the spoilers that come with the Grongi (the monsters of Kuuga) translations. Now I have seen reviews of this show
and from what I've seen I can definitely tell why this show was the one that revived the franchise after years of dormancy and in fact six years before Dr Who came back on the small screen. Huh, odd coincidence. I might have to get on that topic sometime in the future.

 Sadly since Ultimate Form only shows up in the very last fight in the series I don't have a lot to talk about in terms of powers and skills, just that apparently Ultimate Form is the most physically powerful form in the franchise at the time of this review. Also since I actually want people to take a look at Kuuga I'm not going to talk about the storyline relevance of this form either because yeah it's a big one. That just leaves the design and it's beauty lies in its simplicity. No overly detailed armor, no ridiculous flourishes or anything like that, just a black suit with spiked shoulder pads and gold lining around the suit that sort of resemble blood veins. Ultimate Form is a form worthy of the greatest warrior.

#5 W/Double Cyclone Joker Xtreme

W is the first Rider of the Neo-Heisei era. I honestly have to admit this show is really good and the chemistry of Shotaro and Philip not only sell it but is the direct basis and stability of W and Cyclone Joker Xtreme form definitely helps to drive the character development that these two sleuths go through. This form taps into the power of the true Gaia Memory which as the name implies is essentially the brain of the planet itself; all the events and concepts that have been witnessed and conceived by those who live on Earth are stored inside of the true Gaia Memory; thus the greatest strength of Xtreme isn't in power but knowledge.

Since these two are tapping directly into the True Gaia Memory and Philip (who in this form has perfectly fused with Shotaro) was essentially reborn by the True Gaia Memory W can perfectly analyze the composition of any Dopant and destroy their Gaia Memory with their Prism Break Maximum Drive. As for this form design I love the symmetrical color balance with the colors of Cyclone and Joker with a nice addition of Silver right down the middle and the X's on both of the ankles, the helmet and half X's split between the shoulder to act as shoulder pads. As for the story line significance I feel that's something that needs to be seen rather then told. What else can be said about this form rather then

yeah that works.

#4 OOO Putotyra Combo

OOO is a fun series, with the right amount of comedy to help draw viewers in, great action scenes to keep butts glued to their seats waiting to see what combo OOO's will use and darkness to keep the stakes poignant. That underlying darkness is exemplified in OOO's unwilling Final Form, the Putotyra combo which draws power from the antithesis of desire and seek the destruction of everything, oblivion. Like the rest of the Core Metals the purple cores draws power from animals and just like how the purple metals seek oblivion the animals that the purple core medals are based on are extinct. Which were mostly dinosaurs and mythological animals since one time Dr Maki, the main bad who also had half of the purple cores in him created a Unicorn monster; but really they only did the mythological monster thing only once so I personally think they should have just stuck to Dinosaurs for the purple cores and made mythological animals another set but that's just me.

Anyway these cores forcefully entering Eiji finally allowed us to get more into his back story about how he was helping a village in Africa when the village got destroyed by a local militia; everyone in the village was slaughtered, he got held hostage by the enemy militia and the only reason his family paid the ransom was to use Eiji's tragedy to gain support for his father's political platform. Now if I were in Eiji's position I would have beat my parents until they were a pile of raw hamburger meat for using me like that but in Eiji's case it caused him to lose any trace of selfish desire, which while it allowed him to use the power of OOO without going nuts it's also what caused the Purple Medals to go into him in the first place. Aside from forcefully tuning into this form whenever they feel like it the purple medals can also cause Eiji to go completely berserk causing him to attack friend and foe alike. When these demonic Plinko chips aren't doing that they're also slowly turning Eiji into a Greeed that is essentially a demonic version of Barney.

Pants to be darkened!

Aside from turning Eiji into a demonic purple Apocalymon let's discus what good things he gets with this form. As formed by a lack of desire the Purple Medals are anathema to the normal core medals and can thus destroy them and thus can kill the other Greeed. The three pieces of the combo itself gives Eiji powers in each of the three pieces of his armor. The Pteranodon head not only lets him fly but also allows him to generate freezing winds like Superman's ice breath, his Triceratops torso shoulder tusks can also extend and contract according to Eiji's will allowing him to impale enemies at a great distance.

Finally the Tyrannosaurus legs not only give Eiji incredible kicking power but he can also form a giant tail to smack around enemies. He also gets the Metagabryu a bazooka/axe modeled after a T-Rex head that eats Cell Medals to blow enemies to pieces either by chopping it in half or by blasting it until it's a pile of medals or chunky salsa depending on who he's fighting. Just remember kids, mess with Putotyra combo and you'll be the one ending up extinct.

#3 Den-O Liner Form

 There's an old saying; you never forget your first. You never forget your first kiss, whovians never forget their first doctor and Rider Fans never forget their first Rider, and Den-O is the very first Rider whose series I watched from start to finish. Yeah yeah yeah people either love this series the way it is or despise it due to Toei taking its success and stretching it out even longer then the Clone Saga. But I still have a soft spot for this series, Ryotaro and the arc of his character development culminated in this form.

See up until the point this was introduced Ryotaro was a wimp who constantly needed help from his friends the four Imagins ( the monsters of the series) known as the Taros to possess him to become the various forms of Den-O to help fight the evil Imagins. However due to the plot point known as the Junction point (which is the person who's existence determines whether the current future or the future that was lost thus creating the Imagins is the true future) begins to manifest he loses the ability to be in sync with the Taros while in the past thus the four create for Ryotaro the DenKamen sword which allows him to fight on his own in Liner Form. Before he would need the help of the Imagins to save the day and now he has to train even harder to make up for his own timid nature to insure the safety of his friends, family and his time line. This form is the culmination of Ryotaro's development from a wimp to a true noble warrior who can stand on equal ground alongside the Taros to protect those dear to him.

Enough mushy stuff time to discuss Liner Forms powers, while he is the fastest of Den-O's forms it is unfortunately the weakest due to Ryotaro's timid nature and without the direct support of the Taros. However the DenKamen more then makes up for it as it allows him to access the fighting styles of the other Taros such as Kintaro's power backed attacks, Ryutaro's projectiles and Urataro's long range capabilities. When he uses the power of one of the four forms he's covered in a Aura shaped like the respective Taro's personal Train called the Aura Liner to further protect him and enhance his attacks. He finally then rushes his opponent with his signature finisher the Train slash which combines the Aura Liners of all four Taro's to create the Den Liner Aura Liner and finish off his opponent with one fast and powerful slash.

Design wise Liner Form is modeled after the King Liner and is one of the more symmetrical Final Forms in the franchise and I love it. I love the head lights on the chest plate that resemble large yellow eyes and the nice balance of red, black and white on the suit. The helmet may have the default red eyes of Sword Form but is flourished with the blue, yellow and purple spikes along the side of the helmet to allude to Den-Os other forms. Although the thing on top of the helmet looks kind of silly but it still adds to the train theme of Den-O so it works. So while Den-O is my first Final form ever it is unfortunately a few minutes late so I can't make it #1 since there are two better forms from far better Riders.

#2 Gaim Kiwami Arms

Yes despite Gaim being my current favorite Kamen Rider Series; Kiwami Arms only gets the #2 spot.  Now don't worry I'll explain why. This form might not have won hearts at first because it came after the far better looking Kachidoki arms form, yet this is apparently the true form of that awesomeness so it's cool. Unlike other forms which gain their own weapons this form's true strength lies in its versatility as it can not only use the weapons of all of the other Armored Riders, the Sonic Arrow of the New Genesis Riders, and the absolute beauty that is the DJ gun from Kachidoki arms but also use more then one while using the Kiwami Lockseed. So if he needed to block attacks while attacking from long range, just two flips of the Kiwami seed and boom Melon Defender in one hand and the Budou Ryuhou in the other. Or he can summon the Mango Punisher and the Donkachi for two different types of blunt force on his enemies heads when he uses their heads like a drum set.

However like Blade's King form using this Form for too long and too often transforms the user into an Overlord leaving behind someone who only looks human. However Kouta doesn't care what becomes of him so long as he gains the power to save his town, the world and stop the cycle of the Helheim Forrest. But unlike King Form which turns the user into a monster being an Overlord comes with great benefits, you gain control over the plants of Helheim, regeneration and can summon cracks in reality creating access points to the real world and Helheim. So aside from only being able to gain sustenance from helheim fruit which would normally turn people into Inves and losing your humanity that sounds like a sweet deal.

As for the design I still love it I'm a big sucker for capes and the addition of one on Kiwami arms helps build this form into one of the coolest looking Final forms. Unlike previous Final Forms which had a mixture of other colors Kiwami has a primarily white color scheme with various black spots to prevent the suit from just looking like a big white blob, this especially helps the shoulder pads; which with the black stripes make it look like half's of a sunflower seed. The Shogun design really looks good especially with the Gaim Logo emblazoned on his helmet, the bits of armor held over from Kachidoki arms recolored white and that the visor is a rainbow combined with the breastplate decorated with several of the fruits the lockseeds are based on really help to highlight the versatility that Kiwami arms is capable of. So instead of having only one weapon Kiwami arms has many different ways it can make its enemies into a bloody fruit salad.

#1 Kiva Emperor Form

My flat out favorite final form. Yet ironically from a series helmed by Inoue, maybe by this point Inoue finally figured out that his BS was getting people angry and finally stopped, or maybe I should give this series a second look to make sure my love for Kiva still holds up. But for right now I love Emperor Form! See this, among all the other Final Forms on this list is the one I want to turn into the most, this form made vampires cool again after several years of living in the glitter filed horror unleashed by Stephenie Meyer and her horrible Twilight franchise.

This for me is the perfect culmination of what a final form should be. This design looks absolutely badass. Like I said with Gaim, I love capes on these forms, but what make Emperor Forms cape better then Kiwami Arms is that this cape is long enough to give Kiva a royal, regal look but short enough so that it's not impractical in combat. The colors work perfectly; as a form called Emperor the mixture of Red and Gold could not have been better. In various cultures around the world Red and Gold are considered if not royal then noble and important colors, from Christianity attributing Red to the blood of Christ and a color often worn by Cardinals and Popes wearing Red shoes, Egypt where their Pharaohs were buried in a golden sarcophagus, to China where one of the creatures associated with the four directions Zhu Que is the Vermilion Bird but I could go on.

Anyway; story wise this form shows when Wataru becomes consumed with rage after his girlfriend Mio was nearly killed by a Fangire (the monsters in Kiva's series) this awakened Tatsulot a small dragon like creature sealed in Castle Doran who was drawn to Wataru's Fangire blood thus awakening Wataru's full power as Emperor Form. After that point as Wataru begins fighting his half brother Tiaga the current leader of the Fangires; he starts to use Emperor Form more as his default form as the two and their ideologies conflict, as for the rest I don't want to spoil so check out Kiva to see the final arc of Wataru's character development and how he starts as a shut in to a warrior worthy of being called a true king.

 As for the capabilities of the form itself Kiva's strength in this form is insane, his final attack the Full Moon break can kick with the force of 150 tons! He also gets the sword that was once wielded by the first King of the Fangires, the Zanvat sword a golden broadsword that while powerful is unfortunately too powerful as the sword has the potential to fully awaken Wataru's Fangire blood causing him to go completely nuts just like the Putotyra Combo. That (without too much spoilers) is Kiva Emperor, currently my #1 Favorite Final Form, hail to the King Baby!

I've told you all what I think of the Final Forms, now I want to know what yours are. Let me know in the comments if you agree with this list or if you think that your favorite form got gibed. Let me know, share the links and I'll see you next time. Trust me, I'll be back.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Face to Face is Owned by Weird Al Yankovic and Nerdist.
Wayne's World is owned by NBC films, Paramount Studios, Lorine Michaels and Penelope Spheeris.
Austin Powers: Goldmember is owned by Gratitude International, Team Todd, Moving Pictures, and New Line Cinema. 
Mass Effect 2 is owned by Bioware and Electronic Arts.
Persona 2 Innocent Sin is owned by Atlus and Sega.
Joker is owned by Jerry Robinson, Bob Kane, Bill Finger and DC Comics. 
Nostalgia Critic is owned by Doug Walker, Channel Awesome, Blip.tv, and The Walt Disney Company. 

Movie Review UHF: I can see why people refence this so often.

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For as long as I've been on the Internet, for as long as I've been a fan of reviewers, whether it's the people at Channel Awesome, the Escapist or even the dudes or dudettes wandering around on Youtube and everything in between, there has been one movie that seems to be synonymous with almost all of these people.

NO, not that one! Look at the title.
                             
That's right, the cult classic UHF. Aside from the humor, spot on parodies and of course the magic of Weird Al, UHF seems to be a spiritual precursor to the modern Internet critic. I mean think about it for a second, the movie is about a guy who has creativity, imagination and a good sense of humor but not an opportunity to let those talents shine. Then he gets that chance and with his paltry resources, perseverance, determination, a stroke of pure luck and one of the best motivational speeches about a mop (seriously) he created content that is beloved by hundreds if not thousands of people.

Gee, does

this sound

somewhat familiar?

 But yeah kind of spooky when you think about it. Now I might not be the first guy to make this connection but yeah, if you think about it it is there. But, here's where I run into a bit of a problem with this movie, I don't really want to talk about the contents of it because, 1st, most people should see the whole movie for themselves and not just for the clips but for my second reason. 2nd, I really want to figure out how is it exactly that movies like this succeed where other parody movies fail? But I will talk about my favorite character in the movie R.J Fletcher. This guy is every single over the top rich, white, old money douche-bag cliche all rolled up with a 100 dollar bill and smoking it in-front of a family of homeless people then walks away laughing like the Joker when he's done. I'm honestly surprised that out of all the clips of this movie that critics use, very few if any of them involve this guy. I seriously thought this guy deserved a cartoon show, even Ted Knight, Big T Larrity and Duke Phillips would tell this dude to calm down. Now for my questions about UHF, or for that matter parodies in general, how is it that the good and most remembered ones know which then popular subject matter to satirize? Now I think that this conversation can be traced back to one of my personal heroes Mel Brooks and his first hit parody "Young Frankenstein".

"It's pronounced Fronkensteen"

Whatever, I'll call you Ball Park Frank for all I care. Back on topic, the reason why a good majority of Mel Brooks' movies worked is that they were satirizing material that many people were not only familiar with but have also been around for at least decades. So for him, creating parodies that could stand the test of time was half the battle, the rest was up to him and his co-writers work, making sure that every joke worked and knowing exactly what it is about the material that they were handling was about and how to take said source material and turn that into something funny. Now creating a movie that satirizes current popular pieces of media is a far trickier task in my opinion. How do we know what material will stand the test of time and how can we write a good story that is able to tell these jokes and give this commentary without the jokes and commentary being the only things the movie has going for it. And for that Kids, it's time for an edition of "Good Movie, Bad Movie".

 Wayne's World is not only a good movie in its own right but the jokes are still funny and relevant to various forms of entertainment to this day, case in point.
            
My guess as to why Wayne's World and UHF work is because the writers know what exactly makes their subjects work, and craft the story of these movies so that the jokes could actually make sense of the movie's context. Another part of that is just plain old luck, back in the day who honestly thought that media pieces like Indiana Jones, Star Trek, The Graduate and what not would still be relevant? Back then, probably not a whole lot of people, I'm willing to be that back when these movies and TV shows came out they would get their brief time in the spotlight and be spoken of in the same breath as Pogs, Poodle Skirts, Miami Vice and Greatest American Hero. Now on to the other side of the coin.

Or anything done by Seltzerberg.

These movies only focus on making as many references to current movies as possible with very cheep and nonsensical framing devices. This on top of having flimsy premises and filling the rest of the run time with disgusting gross out scenes to try and milk shock humor just causes these movies to fall apart like a house of cards. Now I'm not saying that indulging in the Zeitgeist is completely bad but just try not to make your jokes only about what's happening right now or fill in the cracks in your comedy with just dick and boob jokes.

Now if I've truly learned anything from this review is to never talk about comedies. Mostly because if I'm talking about good comedies I'd just be explaining the jokes.

         
And if it's a bad comedy I'd be just me screaming about how it doesn't work. I may try something like this again if a movie comes along that just sends me over the edge or I truly want to highlight it, but don't expect reviews of comedies all that often from me.

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

UHF is owned by Weird Al Yankovic, Orion Pictures, MGM, Shout Factory and Cinecorp.
Street Fighter (1994) is owned by Capcom, Universal Pictures, and Columbia pictures. 
Young Frankenstein is owned by Mel Brooks and 20th Century Fox.
Animaniacs is owned by Warner Brothers Animation, Warnert Brothers Television, Stephen Spielberg and Amblin Entertainment.
Wayne's World is owned by NBC films, Paramount Studios, Lorine Michaels and Penelope Spheeris.
Meet the Spartans is owned by Jason Friedberg, Arron Seltzer, Regency Enterprises, New Regency, 3 in a Box and 20th Century Fox.
Batman: The Animated Series is owned by Dc Comics, Warner Brothers and Paul Dini.

Tokusatsu Review: Toquger episode 31: Follow the Ice Cream Bunny!

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This episode is going to be hard for me. Mostly because of the statements I made during my Kamen Rider Taisen Review, where I said Ressha Sentai Toquger is one of the worst Super Sentai I've seen so far. Then again the only other ones I've seen to completion so far are Liveman, Dairanger, Go-Onger, Gokaiger, Go-Busters, and Kyoryuger (and both seasons of Akibaranger if you count those). The ones that I haven't finished are Kakuranger, Ohranger, Carranger and Megaranger. Even then it's because I haven't made time to finish those shows or the subs aren't finished yet on some of the series. The point is that I don't exactly have a large knowledge of Sentai having only seen ten out of thirty eight series so far, HOWEVER! Even from my limited experience I still say that Toquger is one of the worst I've seen so far. Most of the heroes are moronic, annoying dill-weeds, the majority of the mech designs are the laziest I've seen yet, and whenever the show touches on the subject of "Imagination" I just, ugh my mind just goes to dark, terrible, evil places. Kinda like Lordkat when he played Super Mario Brothers 2 Japan. Get this, this show, is trying to teach kids, that children, are the only people who have imagination, and that they lose said imagination when they grow up. 

I'm not putting words in peoples mouths or anything, watch for yourself, they say it in at least the first three episodes. As someone who wants to be a game designer/writer, carriers that primarily rely on using ones imagination, this made me despise this show almost immediately. Also for the Sentai series that loves to spout out its "Imagination" pig crap for it to have some of the laziest designs for the heroes, mechs and their equipment, that is pretty indefensible. However there are some saving graces, I like the villain faction, the Shadow Line. From their designs to their personalities to how much smarter they are then the heroes most of the time. Them; combined with the very, very, very few good episodes in this show is what's keeping me from saying that it is completely irredeemable. What I mean by good episodes are the ones that either focus on advancing the plot or have nothing to do with Right. Everything else tends to lead to various flavors and amounts of pain. Now for a very quick summary of this series so that we can get on to talking about the episode. Ressha Sentai Toquger is about five people who have been recruited by an organization called the Rainbow Line to protect their stations from the Shadow Line who not only seek to capture these stations for themselves but to gather darkness from the people who live there which all goes into making the human world habitable not only for themselves but their Emperor, Zett. The core five consist of Kagura as Toq 5, an airhead who can delude herself into gaining super strength. Hikari as Toq 4, he is the smartest member of the team and my personal favorite. Mio as Toq 3, she's the tomboy of the team and shes kind of starting a relationship with Tokatchi who is Toq 2, he's a bookworm who has about as much common sense as a garden-hose. And finally there's Right as Toq 1, he's a dumb-ass with Bieber hair who through his thoughtlessness, carelessness and outright stupidity often makes situations worse and often times make the personal crises of his teammates even worse, sometimes with only his mere presence. He is a cancer to the team, the worst Red Senshi I've seen on either side of the Ocean so far (including Nick from Mystic Force, Jaden from Samurai, Troy from Megaforce and Alata from Goseiger) and no matter how much I want him to, he will never go away. The five are guided by the conductor named, Conductor, and his Monkey Hand puppet, Ticket; kill me! Their Alpha is a horribly perverted Gynoid named Wagon who seems to only have three jobs, bring the Toqugers food, take selfies of herself, and be horribly annoying. She's almost as bad as Jar-Jar in my book. The five are later joined by Zalam, a former member of the Shadow Line who joins them to make amends for the evil he caused while working for the Shadow Line (yeah his power is to make it rain, truly there is no greater evil in this world) basically his shtick is that he's an over the top parody of the brooding loner hero with his main joke being that every time he goes into battle he says that this will be where he dies. At first I didn't like this at all because it seems like the show is making fun of people who are contemplating suicide, but what saves this is that he does it in increasingly over the top ways and the jokes that are made about this trope is what saves it. I think that its like when someone keeps doing something stupid you eventually have to laugh, like this for example.

So yeah, Zalam joined the Toqugers as Toq 6 and his name was changed by the Toqugers to Akira Nijino which literally means "the brightness of the rainbow" (Niji no Akira) GET IT!? Anyway the plot so far, the Shadow Lines leader Zett is trying to gain the power of the light because he hates the darkness and wants to live in said light. However being in the human world is toxic to the guy, so he figures that by gathering light, whether literal or figurative he could live in both worlds. To that end he absorbed Gritta; the daughter of one of his Generals, Madame Noir to gain her inner sparkle. General Schwartz, the guy I mentioned in the Taisen review does not take this well and he attacked Zett only to be blown away for his trouble. And on top of this Marchioness Morc the General who raised Zett has shown up since the Toqugers are liberating their Shadow Towns, the stations that the Shadow Line have already taken over that is under Morc's jurisdiction. The Toqugers are doing this in the hopes that one of these Shadow Towns is their home town, which is the reason why they became the Toqugers in the first place. However the mech that the Toqugers use to access the Shadow Towns, the Drill Ressha, is in Schwartz' possession.

Good

If not, too bad there's a quiz later. So with episode 31 we open on two kids jogging through some fog training for Baseball judging by their uniforms when they notice the sound of a train whistle and see a giant train shrouded in fog. We then cut to the Toqugers on their trains when Ticket announced that instead of traveling to the next station they are instead heading for the Hyper Ressha Terminal. Apparently it can't be normally accessed by the Rainbow Line and can only show up when someone is summoned. I want to say that sounds familiar, but I can't put my finger on why. I'm being serious, someone help me.

Not going to lie, I like this shot and sequence.

It reminds me of Thomas the Tank Engine but in a good way. After the opening theme Ticket and Conductor say that the Terminal is the most important part of the Rainbow Line. Mostly because it's the control hub for the entire line, like the Shadow Line's Castle Terminal, so like it, the Terminal only shows up for when it is absolutely necessary, like when the President needs to talk to someone. Which is the case here since a voice (who we later find out is the President) tells Conductor over the intercom to meet him in his office. Right asks who that was.

Apparently President in Japanese is Sousai

 

(－‸ლ)

 

You've been with him this long and you've only realized this now?!

Once again we've learned something today.

Okay Ticket, you're redeemed. This is why you're my favorite character in this thing.

 After Right once again proving that his mother drank while he was in the womb. The Prez chimes in again saying that they need to evacuate so that the trains can get cleaned. Apparently this is to clean the trains of any residual Darkness left behind from fighting the Shadows since it's corrosive to them. And the Diesel Ressha is proof of that. While the trains are getting the evil scrubbed off, the dummies decide to take in the wonders of the Hyper Terminal, which apparently is the Mega Mall since it has a movie theater, a gym, a library, several restaurants and almost any facility you could want, minus an S&M dungeon. While the team heads off to get food Wagon decides to go polish her body at the Salon.

This is them normally.

This is them a few seconds later.

Notice something off?

We cut to the Shadow Line Castle. Zett is informed that the Hyper Ressha Terminal has appeared and Morc is more then ready to take advantage of this. She tells Nero to lure the Toqugers away from the Terminal while she attacks the Terminal directly. Zett decides to tag along since he's attracted to the Sparkles.

They're not even real Vampires!

Ugh Lady, this is a kid's show remember?!

Noir notices that Gritta hasn't been fully absorbed by Zett and she plans on saving her. Why? Last time I checked all you were concerned with was having her marry Zett so she could absorb him and take over with you pulling the strings. So now you're concerned about your daughter? Well at least you're the villain so I'm supposed to hate you. Once Zett left Schwartz starts to move himself with the Drill Ressha and his personal Kurainer. We then cut to the Rainbow President's office where he and Conductor are talking. This is big, we can finally see the head of the Rainbow line, the one that set this all up, the source of the Toqugers and the Rainbow line and; it's an escaped prisoner from Deadman Wonderland?!

I quit.

 I give up. Is this the Ice Cream Bunny? Are we going to see Tom Sawyer and Huck Fin watching a Gorilla pulling Santa's sleigh on a beach in Miami next? This is my head cannon, the Ice Cream Bunny convinced Santa to help him set up the Rainbow line if he would finally give him some damn Ice Cream and the first train was the Fire Ressha. It makes perfect sense I mean what else would they do with the Fire Truck they drove away on? At least you could take the Station Master from Den-O somewhat seriously, Jesus Christ. President Ice Cream Bunny tells Conductor that there's a problem with the Toqugers. I know, four of them are as dumb as hell, chuck the rest and make Hikari Red. He says that they've been exposed to the darkness too much and even if that wasn't the case they're changing by themselves anyway. How? We'll figure that out later. We cut to some people who finished eating at a restaurant but can't get out of their chairs. Not because they're morbidly obese but because a Shadow Kaijin has used his magic to seal them on to the chairs.

This is Chair Shadow

 While Chair Shadow does this his big brother then uses his magic to flip the tables and chairs several feet into the air simultaneously while the people are still stuck to them.

This is Table Shadow, is it just me or does their design remind you of rams?

Thankfully nobody landed on their head, that would have killed them instantly.

That's kind of what I would expect to happen when people's heads meet the floor with that amount of terminal velocity. But there goes me and my logic again. The Toqugers get there before there were any fatalities (on screen anyway.)

Two things, #1 Nero, quit breaking the 4th wall we've got a guy that can blow your ass out of the water. #2 Because this show loves to make our heroes look dumber every chance it can. :)

Anyway they show up, transform and fight the brothers. Table Shadow starts off by flipping the bus they rode in on with so much kinetic force it made it explode! Now imagine if he did that to a normal person oh wait yes he did! Honestly there should be several piles of chunky salsa everywhere.

BWAHAHAHAHA you see why I've changed on Akira? He's mourning a bus for god's sake how is this not funny?

I mean come on this is actually funny. While that's going on Zett and Morc head to the Hyper Terminal to tear the place apart. One wonders why they didn't bring every single Monster, Kurliner and Kuro under their command with them, but we need to save all of that for the finale. Tradition and all that. Schwartz then rams Zett and Morc's train with the Drill Kurainer and forces them to land in an office building. Schwartz fights against Morc which draws the attention of Right. Noir shows up to back up Morc to make sure that Schwartz doesn't kill Zett. Zett however finds this to be annoying and sends out shock-waves of Darkness to punish them, but Right shows up to save a little girl who was cowering in a corner, no doubt scared. Right then decides to fight the Shadow Emperor for sacrificing others to obtain what he wants. Also for scaring the little girl.

After a really good cutaway Zett transforms into his monster form to meet Right's challenge. But then Morc, Noir and Schwartz then get in on the fight and it quickly turns into an uneven five way brawl. Back to the rest of the core four Toqugers, the fight against the dining set brothers is not going well, when Hikari tells the others to retreat. Akira on the other hand still has his hands full with Nero. Back to Right; Zett is starting to lose it and is attacking everyone that gets in his way. Thankfully there were no civilians in the area otherwise, they'd be dead. Right then decides to try and match Zett with the Hyper Ressha armor.

Which is still one of the worst Battlizers I've ever seen! It's just stupid gold shoulder pads for god's sake!

Ugh this does give Right the power to repel Zett's strikes and forces him back. Schwartz then takes the chance to strike a fatal blow against Zett but sees that Gritta is inside of him and hesitates giving Zett a chance to repel him. Zett starts to feel pain in his chest forcing him and Morc to retreat. Noir confirms for Schwartz that Gritta is really alive inside of Zett and that's why she can't let Zett be destroyed just yet. Meanwhile back to the Dining bros they're looking for the Toqugers when they notice a Kotatsu right in the middle of the walkway.

This totally doesn't look suspicious at all does it?

Of course for a monster that's all about flipping people and tables; this is like the old shave and a haircut trick and he absolutely can't resist. So he flips the thing revealing the Toqugers who use their blasters to shoot the Demon Duo. Table uses Chair as a living shield letting him be destroyed. Of course in Toquger when a monster is destroyed it just causes him to grow. For no explained reason! He just grows, not even a throw away line to explain why. Hell I'll even take torpedoes being fired at them to make them grow, just give me something! Of course the Trains are finished being cleaned up at this point. Welcome to the plot convenience playhouse kids. So yeah, the Toqugers form their terribly constructed mech, beat the giant Chair Shadow and all's well that ends well. Except for when they get back to the trains where Conductor gives the Toqugers bad news, but good news for me. The Toqugers are disbanded! YAY! But of course we still have at least 18 more episodes of this show left to go so not really. Next time we'll find out what President Ice Cream Bunny told Conductor. And we reveal a new twist!
                          

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Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
History of the World Part 1 is owned by Mel Brooks and 20th Century Fox
Spaceballs is owned by  Mel Brooks, Brooksfilms and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.
Good Burger is Owned by Paramount Pictures, Nickelodeon Movies and Tollin/ Robbins Productions
Naked Gun 331/3: The Final Insult is owned by Jim Abrahams Jerry and David Zucker, and Paramount Pictures
Wayne's World is owned by Lorine Michaels, NBC Films and Paramount Pictures
Scanners is owned by David Cronenberg, Avco-Embassy Films, and Manson International
The Langoliers TV Mini series is owned by Stephen King, Tom Holland and ABC Network
Drawn Together is owned by Comedy Central, Dave Jeser, Matt Silverstein, Double Hemn, and Rough Draft Studios.