Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Uuchu Sentai Kyuuranger Spring Break Special Part 2: AAA show.(spoilers)

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 Yes I'm once again back from my month long Persona 5 break, long story short Persona 5 is so far my best game of 2017 and I'll be back to releasing content only once a week, I fell into the old quantity over quality trap and now I know better. Sorry for my break but now we can get back to business as usual. (Note as of writing this article I've only seen up until episode 27 so if there is new information that contradicts the actual series I apologize.)

 From the unholy and annoying mess that is Uuchu Sentai Kyuuranger to a show that is actually doing far better with far, far less resources, Kamen Rider Ex-Aid. The premise is that a computer virus that came into existence on Y2K has been infecting real people with a disease called Gamer Syndrome. This disease manifests as evil video game characters that emerge from the infected which try to absorb them to become perfect beings by weakening their immunity to the virus through stress. Specifically by destroying or killing places or people related to their current hang ups. ( For example say an infected person is trying to keep their job so they can feed their newborn baby, the Bugster in turn will be driven to either destroy the victim's place of work or kill the baby, the reason why they're sticking to that job in the first place.) Only those who have undergone a risky surgery to become injected with a concentrated amount of the Bugster virus can harness the power of the Gashats (game cartridge like devices created by the Gemn corporation) and their Gamer drivers to combat the Bugsters as Kamen Riders.

 Our protagonist is named Emu Hojo, a medical intern and gaming genius who works for the CR branch of the Ministry of health. He uses the Gamer Driver and the Mighty action X Gashat to become Kamen Rider Ex-aid. It was later revealed he is actually patient Zero of the Bugster virus and thus doesn't need the compatibility surgery to use the Gashats.

 Next is the skilled Surgeon Hiiro Kagami who uses the Tattle Quest Gashat to become Kamen Rider Brave. Unlike Emu; Kagami doesn't actually care about the patients themselves, only eliminating the Bugsters due to his girlfriend being infected and killed by her Bugster Graphite fully manifesting by nearly killing him. Since then he's developed a cold personality and sees Emu's concern for patents as a hinderance, even going so far as fighting Emu since he thinks his sentimentality is unnecessary. Basically Kagami has a major rod up his ass that seriously needs to be pulled out asap.

 Then there's the unlicensed doctor Taiga Hanaya, who uses the Bang Bang Shooting Gashat to become Kamen Rider Snipe. Taiga's damage is that five years ago he was the original tester for the Gamer Driver, he failed to save Hiiro's girlfriend so now he's jaded, disgraced from the medical community and blah blah blah you know the drill. His original goal was to acquire the Gashats from all of the other riders but ever since he picked up his own sidekick, Nico the girl who Emu beat in a Tekken tournament 6 years ago he's mostly just been concerned with protecting her. She's mostly been a source of comic relief in how she keeps pestering Taiga and being his hype girl. I mean the two sometimes bicker like an old married couple and she serves the exact function that Robin does for Batman, balance the grim gritty crap with some general levity.

 Now there was a fourth CR rider, Kira Kujo aka Kamen Rider Lazer who was killed off at episode 13. Now unlike the other riders his Bakusou Bike Gashat made his default rider form; a motorcycle. It was only when he acquired his level 3 Gashat, Giri Giri Chambara could he assume a combat form that could actually compete with the other riders and Bugsters. Kujo's hang up was that he was a perpetual liar due to the last time he told the truth it was to a friend who contracted Gamer Syndrome so he killed himself since at that time there was no way to counter Gamer Syndrome.

 However there's another force manipulating the Bugsters for his own ends, the president of the Genm gaming corporation Dan Kuroto who created the Gamer Drivers and the games the Bugsters originate from. He even has his own Gamer Driver and later the Buggle Driver to become Kamen Rider Genm. Because just like almost every evil CEO in Japanese fiction he's batshit crazy; his ultimate goal is to gather data on both the Kamen Riders and the 10 Bugsters from the games the initial Gashats are based on to create what he sees as the Perfect Game, Kamen Rider Chronicle which turns every human on earth into Kamen Riders and fight to the death. Now to quote a certain veteran Power Ranger "Why can't you just want to rule the world like all the other sickos?"

 To this end he's infected Emu with the original Bugster virus 16 years ago turning him into an obsessed expert Gamer until he collapsed from exhaustion; at which point the virus was extracted and Emu then decided to become a doctor as a way of honoring the doctor who saved his life when he was first infected as a kid. Kuroto then set out to gather the data of defeated Bugsters and even data of his own death. Once that data was compiled into the Level X Dangerous Zombie Gashat he tested its new power on Kujo which was easily able to overpower him and kill him, not only to test Genm's invincibility but also to keep quiet the fact that Kuroto framed his own father, the former CEO of Genm Corp to cover the fact that he infected Emu with the Bugster Virus until it cultivated into its current form.

 So since he's using the Bugsters and can create new Gashats, of course he'd make one into a Kamen Rider. To that end he gave the Bugster Parado the duel Gashats of Perfect Puzzle and Knock out Fighter which lets him become the level 50 Kamen Rider Paradox. Parado himself seems to be concerned with two things, games and his fellow Bugsters, so when Kuroto finally snapped and admitted that the Bugsters are just pawns in his game and killed a non aggressive Bugster Parado attacked Kuroto and whooped his ass like a drum. Parado was also the one to finally kill Kuroto after Ex-aid used the powers of his Super form to not only remove Genm's invincibility but also his Bugster Antibodies so that he could never use the Gamer Driver again. But Parado still continued with the Kamen Rider Chronicle project using the saved Bugsters including Graphite and the brainwashed Poppy Pipopopo (aka the Doreimefa Beat Bugster) to complete Kamen Rider Chronicle.

 Speaking of Poppy while yes she is a Bugster she's a game character that's non aggressive since the game she came from was a dancing game thus no enemies to defeat in the conventional sense. She can also switch from her bubbly J-pop to the max persona to that of a calm and collected Nurse. But as I said after Kuroto's death Parado's new second in command and new head of Genm corp Ren Amagasaki Aka the Loveica Bugster brainwashed her to complete Kamen Rider Chronicle. Now that that's done they gave her the Tokimeki Crisis Gashat (the game that Loveica came from thus maintaining the control) to become Kamen Rider Poppy. 

 Now I know what you're thinking, "she's now a Kamen Rider oh god she's so dead" that's exactly what I thought as well but hear me out. As demonstrated with Graphite coming back to life fully evolved Bugsters are able to come back to life with outside help. So since we never saw the person who was infected with Poppy she must be perfectly evolved as well. Which brings us to another question "who was the person she killed to become whole?" But as demonstrated with the Bugster born from the Juju Burger game Bugsters born from non combative games can achieve their freedom from the infected by clearing the win conditions of their game. 

 So since Poppy is not bound to anyone she is clearly a non violent Perfect Bugster so even if she does get killed she can just come back. Basically once a Bugster becomes free they gain infinite lives so she'll be in the clear. At least that's what I think will happen whether the writers will remember these facts when and if she does get killed we'll wait and see. But that's where we stand as of now Parado has sold Kamen Rider Chronicle to the masses who at first only saw it as just a new game but it's revealed that if you die in the game you die for real. But to keep the human genocide going Ren announced that if the final boss of Kamen Rider Chronicle was beaten all those who died in the game would come back to life. 

 So now it's only a matter of time until the Debut of Emu's final form and the debut of Kamen Rider Chronos. So this series has my attention and Kyuuranger can just go sit and spin, got it, good moving on. Next week we're going back to normal.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
My Cousin Vinny is owned by Johnathan Lynn and 20th Century Fox.

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Uuchu Sentai Kyuuranger Spring Break Special Part 1: Game over Dumbluck.

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 Yep boys, girls and everyone in between it's time for the spring break crossover special between the currently running Kamen Rider and Super Sentai series. Just like last year however this isn't really a crossover so much as a short fight scene cameo, also just like last year one of these series is slowly but surly getting better and is actually good while the other is worse then somebody stealing your wallet after telling you that someone close to you was eaten by an alligator. I'm just going to cut the pretense here and say that Ex-aid is the good series and Kyuuranger is absolutely horrible. I might as well get the anger out right now and talk about Kyuuranger first.

 The series takes place in the future in space where an intergalactic empire called Jark Mader (get it it sounds like Dark Matter, all consuming indiscriminate darkness? Well, I get it and appreciate it for what it is,) has already conquered the star systems which make up 77 of the 88 constellations and they only have a few more left to go before they completely conquer the Galaxy. The only force standing in Jark Mader's way is the Uuchu Sentai Kyuuranger who harness the power of their native constellations using devices called Kyuu Tama to fight and liberate planets under the dominion of Jark Mader.

 While that all sounds good on paper this premise does have one teeny tiny little problem. THE RED RANGER IS A FUCKING MORON!!!! Hey do any of you remember last year when I said that Toei finally listened to their fans and we were apparently done with idiot Red Rangers? Oh we are staggeringly naive fools, how little we were prepared for this fresh slice of hell which no doubt brings us one step closer to the world of "ow my balls". No seriously folks if you thought Wrong from Toqger or Leftovers from Ninninger were bad allow me to introduce you to the latest moron to come off of Toei's idiot Red Ranger production line, Lucky. 

Better get used to that folks cause guess what he says every, single, fucking episode? GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

  From the very first time you see this guy you will despise his rotten guts and those who put up with him, as his name implies his main schtick is that he has super Luck powers, meaning that he always wins his fights without any effort, bulldozes his way to victory and of course he always screams out something with the word Lucky in it almost every single time he opens his goddamn face hole. He's an insensitive, idiotic, pigheaded, misguided piece of shit who only manages to survive due to his stupid, stupid luck to the point where I have given him the nickname of "DumbLuck" which worked so well that pretty much everyone in my click of Toku viewers have basically adopted that as Lucky's official nickname just like Leftovers became the nickname for Takaharu.

 The biggest problem with Dumbluck is that since Toei's of course going to over glorify his presence the rest of the cast is going to suffer in terms of their development since because Dumbluck exists any episode focused on their development will be superseded by him. Hell at this point I barely know anything about the rest of the main cast aside from their name and gimmick. Spada's gimmick is that he's a chef and randomly speaks one Italian word every so often in his sentences (even though they're all from space so they shouldn't even know what Italian is much less know how to speak it!) Next is Hammy the first official female Green Ranger, her schtick is that she's condescending to Dumbluck but since its though laughing at his stupidity it's actually encouraging it since he's too stupid to pick up on her ridiculing. The Black Ranger is a Bull Robot named Champ who likes to work out even though again he's a robot and thus has no muscles to develop with the exercise.

 Next is Garu, he's a wolfman who had his entire race slaughtered in battle by Jark Mader and thus had his spirit broken. That is until Dumbluck told him that he's stupid for giving up so easily! Hey asshole he just told you that his entire race was exterminated right in front of him and you basically tell him "oh get over it you big baby and fight back?!" Go jump in a hole full of poison tipped bamboo spikes you insensitive cumchugger! That was honestly even worse then what Wakka said after Home was destroyed in FF X.

 Next is the thieving pair of Naga and Balance. Naga's a Vulcan knock off and Balance is an asshole robot voiced by Josuke. Then there's Stinger and he's a live action Sasuke Uchiha who is a spy for the Rebellion but has killed lots of people to maintain his cover, including Champ's creator. But Dumbluck still wants him on the team just because he's a Kyuuranger. Even after Champ told you he killed his Creator/father and lethally poisoned the rest of your team all in the same episode! 

 Do you all see why I hate this guy?! If not then here's my last piece of evidence with our last Kyuuranger, the gynoid Raptor. She's always wanted to be a hero, but it's revealed that if she is damaged, because her parts are so rare nobody can repair her and thus any damage she takes will be permanent and if she takes enough she'll die. So what does Dumbluck do? Tell her to ignore her safety and fight anyway despite the fact that she'll eventually die if she becomes a full Kyuuranger! So to sum up my feelings for Dumbluck I think that Joe Pesci said it better then anyone else.

 All this is made worse due to the fact that the designs for the suits, mechs and weapons are all really good. 

They were designed by Bandai of America and they did a really good job of making this Sentai team stand out from their contemporaries. They each still have a uniformed style but diverge in just the right ways. From Balance and Champ being the robots having more armoring on their suits to Garu's suit actually having fur in the colored segments and claws on the boots, Stinger's having; well a stinger to Raptor's suit having actual wings. 

The mechs themselves are also cool, with the Lion being the center while the others are interchangeable by the four ball joints which by my calculations means it could have up to 32 possible combinations, at least so far.

 But again if the main character makes me want to vomit in absolute disgust every time he does something stupid then I refuse to take part in this madness. As I said before aside from riffing on this every Sunday I will not be watching this in my free time. But I may finally start to make V-logs on this show since I will undoubtedly bring in the views since everybody loves to see someone else suffer. I mean you literally can't spell slaughter without laughter so yes you all will soon be getting your pounds of flesh. But I need to take a break from Dumbluck so I'll see you all next time as we talk about Ex-aid.

Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.

Final Fantasy X is owned by Square-Enix and Yoshinori Kitase.

My Cousin Vinny is owned by Johnathan Lynn and 20th Century Fox.