I'm David, welcome to my brain. Here I write to not only show that I can but to share my opinions on various topics. Mostly Video Games, Anime, Movies and Tokusatsu. Though I am open to suggestions and never afraid to admit when I'm wrong. Have a good time in here and be sure not to mess with my memory, it's bad enough as it is.
When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.
Once again April fools is upon us and now to avoid the usual fake posts by putting up this years crop of memes. Which you would have already seen if you're a regular viewer of Toku Riffs live with the RVT crew. In case you're not aware Toku riffs is Ez Rider, Shades, Spade Ace and Matty J and a whole group of fans getting together to riff MST3K style on the latest episodes of Kamen Rider, Super Sentai and Ultraman that we can get our hands on. We also riff on classic series as well, this round of classics is Space Sherif Gavan and Ninpu Sentai Hurricaneger. We also riff tokusatsu movies when they're available for fansubs so we have a lot of fun, laughs and just a general good time. During the intermissions we submit Tokusatsu memes to try to make the four headed jury laugh and show our creativity. So if you see this post follow the link to the RVT twitch page. Toku riffs is on Sunday at 7:00 PM or 6:00 PM depending if there's a marathon going on. Here's the link to the RVT twitch page and then the memes, use as you see fit. https://www.twitch.tv/rvtentertainment
Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.
Well people, here we are, the crossover I have been dreading for quite some time, my current personal worst Sentai series to date crossing over with the current most critically and commercially panned Sentai. You all know my complaints about Toqger by this point, the Red has severe brain damage and is insufferable, the suit designs for the heroes and their mechs are the most lazy I've ever seen and their message is personally disgusting, offensive and just plain wrong. While in Ninninger's case I give it more slack then Toqger if only because Toqger came out first so all my rage was probably spent by the time it fell apart. While yes it is structurally far worse then Toqger and has not only lame villains and also an even worse mentor then Gosei from Megaforce (YES I WILL TAKE THAT TO THE GRAVE!!!) and Takaharu was just a little less annoying and slightly more tolerable then Right I will still rush to Ninninger's defense before Toqger. Especially since Ninninger has a chance to redeem itself from adaptation since Saban seems to agree with me and is skipping Toqger for adaptation once Dino Charge is over. Now before I talk about this crossover and no doubt get drafted into the Red Lantern Corps when I'm done with it I need to share some theories as to why Toei has been shoving out goofy series for three years after Gobusters wrapped up. The reason is due to what fellow Tokusatsu critic Des Shinta refers to as the "Carranger Effect" named after the series Gekisou Sentai Carranger, which was what was adapted into Power Rangers Turbo. This refers to Toei's tendency to follow up a failed sentai series with a more goofy silly sentai to try and bring back viewers who they think left because "Kids are stupid and can't understand more complex stories so bring them back with brightly colored nonsense." Yeah but see here, the reason why Carranger helped saved Sentai back in the 90's? It was because a more goofy series was needed since the previous series Choriki Sentai Ohranger was a super serious war Sentai that premiered during a Terrorist attack!!! On top of that apparently around the 9th episode Ohranger was going to do a storyline that apparently would have been very similar to what just happened and Toei; figuring that little kids wouldn't be particularly happy being reminded of horrible attacks that killed several thousand people potentially including their loved ones had to cobble together new episodes and plots extremely fast which put their series far over budget. This is exactly what happened to Evangelion by the way, also this is just speculation based and what I've found online in forums discussing this topic so it could be false but it does seem rather plausible that these are the circumstances that lead to the Carranger effect. Back on topic here Toei seems to have forgotten that Carranger helped Sentai get back on track due to it being a necessity at the time, not so much afterwords. But now they seem to think that if a series sucked, crank up the goofy and they'll come back in droves. When they don't acknowledge that it sucked because the writing wasn't up to par. But I could just go on about this and since this is a review blog and not an opinion blog let's get on to the real question of this review. Would I prefer a Shuriken in my eye or being run over by a train? We begin our festival of pain with our band of Ninja numbskulls on a train, though Takaharu doesn't know exactly where they're going. Apparently they're off to a Ninja theme park for summer vacation. The intercom tells them that their stop is at Dream Ninnin Live Station and if you have two functioning brain cells you can immediately tell that they're on a Shadow Line train but no time for that now we have Kinji doing a rock cover of their ending theme song, because reasons. After the Big Lipped Alligator Jam Session we see a familiar face.
Great, Rule 63 Right's the first apperance in this crossover, I can already feel the Pixie Sticks being force fed down my mouth. And she's in her grown up form WTF? Also she's a pop idol in this dream for some reason, speaking of.
Back on track Kagura grabs Kinji and runs off with him. We cut to.... the opening of the movie again, kay? Though Takaharu notices that while the core five are there there's six bentou lunches. However the intercom chimes in again telling that they're now in Dream Spy mission Station now. Where they apparently become a much better Sentai team, the Gobusters. Ok not really but they're spies now for some reason. The group split up and Yakumo, Nagi and Katsumi get chased down by thugs when they're saved by the only Toqger that I wouldn't want to toss into a Gulag.
Dude you can ask people to call you Susan for all I care just so long as you usurp Right as leader of the Toqger I soooooo don't care!
He's not here to take up my advice however and just takes the three with him. The next loop of Endless Eight happens again but the two have their next station up ahead.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THEY'RE BROTHER AND SISTER MOVIE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS I DON'T EVEN!!! Oh good lord I swear I can hear Banjos already.
Oh thank whoever's up there that these two aren't at the alter and Fuuka's dream groom is really Tokacchi, but is it? No for you see he's really this guy!
No no Mio shows up, chews out Tokacchi and tries to get Fuuka out of there but are stopped by Jukkarage thugs. The four transform and the Toqger explain that these dreams are actually illusions created by our movie exclusive Yokai Wanyūdō.
And oh dear god he's just a weird head strapped onto a Kuliner Robo suit. Once again the laziness of the Toqger mandates infects the production. Now it just looks like a spooky stupid Gunman. If only Kamina would show up, give a over the top man speech and kick its ass. But no we have the Toqgers and Ninningers to do it instead, joy bunnies.
So our lazily designed monster traps the four inside of itself so the "veterans" can give the two newbies the lowdown. Takaharu remembers that they went out to fight Wanyūdō and got abducted and out muscled. So greetings are exchanged, introductions are made, title cards are shown yeah yeah yeah we know the drill. The Toqgers continue saying that even tough they beat the main Shadow Line their resident Doctor returned from studying abroad and that he's the one behind the Dark Ninja land. Takaharu says his catchphrase and of course the other 3 sane people are flummoxed by his stupidity.
Well they both make me want to take a staple-gun to my ballsack then put up with them so yes, Tokacchi yes they are.
Speaking of which he shows up for the rescue and drives the rainbow line up to Wanyūdō's train form to let them make the jump to safety. Wanyūdō however sends in Jukkarage and Kuros to take the four out. They transform and try to fight off the forces but they just keep coming. Wanyūdō eventually manages to escape into a tunnel but not before the Toqgers manage to get Fuuka at least to safety, Takaharu however didn't make it, not because the grunts overwhelmed him, not because Wanyūdō got inside the tunnel no no.
BECAUSE HE SLIPPED ON FUUKA'S GODDAMN BANANNA PEEL!!!!!
Why did I say I'd stick up for this asshole again? So one dumbass red gets kidnapped so our other dumbass red chases him down. And to pour salt into the wound the Kibaoni foxy general shows up to gloat.
No not that Foxxy.
Dear god not that Foxy.
Oh I wish it was that Foxy, at least she's fun and competent. Also HELLO NURSE!
No no it's Kyuemon who tells them the obvious, that he was the one behind Wanyūdō, speaking of he delivers our dumbass Ninja to the dark Ninja land park. You know all this blatant stupidity is getting to me. I'll cut it off here before my brains are reduced to yogurt. See you next time where we learn more obvious crap like how the sky is blue, feet stink and Takaharu and Right couldn't outwit a box of oatmeal. Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai. Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion is owned by Studio Sunrise, Gorō Taniguchi and Funnimation. Code Ment is owned by PurpleEyesWTF. Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is propriety of Hirohiko Araki, David Production, Tokyo MX, Warner Bros Entertainment and Viz Media. The Spoony Experiment is owned by Noah Antwilder. Drawn Together is owned by Comedy Central, Dave Jeser, Matt Silverstein, Double Hemn, and Rough Draft Studios. Five Nights at Freddy's is owned and created by Scott Cawthon. Project X Zone is owned by Banpresto, Monolith Soft and Bandai Namco Games.
Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.
IT WORKS! I managed to send this review one week back to the past just in time! I figured that everyone would be annoyed waiting for part two of the Back to the Future reviews so I figured that I'd send it back a week to the day Marty, Doc and Jen arrived at the end of the first movie. October 21st 2015. Now I get to make fun of how much they got wrong and marvel at how much they got right.
As I said at the end of part one we see the three pile into the
Delorean. However we get an extra scene of Biff stumbling on to their
take off. After the credits we do indeed confirm that they have arrived
in Hill Valley California October 21st 2015. First sign is that we can
confirm that Second impact hasn't happened and we thankfully don't have
to rely on those three screwed up nut job mech pilots.
Especially #2 there, she looks insufferable.
However Jen starts asking questions that she really shouldn't know so Doc uses a neuralyzer to knock her out. As the Delorean lands Doc said that he went to a rejuvenation clinic and had at least 20-30 years added to his life and hands Marty some future clothes, including power lacing shoes, size adjusting jackets and jeans which apparently all the kids wear inside out.
Well we have people who wear them halfway up their ass so close enough, still stupid just for different reasons.
Doc explains the situation to Marty, that his son Marty Jr gets arrested that night joining Biff's grandson Griff on a heist and gets put away for fifteen years, the next day Marty's daughter tries to break him out and she'll get put away for twenty years. This will start a chain reaction which will destroy Marty's family. So why doesn't Doc just handle this himself instead of showing Marty the future and potentially screwing up the space time continuum? Is it because he's supposed to be dead in 2015? Well i guess since he had no other confidants then Marty I guess he had no choice.
Doc tells Marty that to fix this he'll knock out the real Marty Jr while Marty Sr will go into the cafe 80's disguised as him order a Pepsi and when Griff shows up to ask if he's in or out to tell him he's out, no whatever happens and come back to the ally they landed in and wait for him. With his instructions Marty does his standard bewildered look of the new Hill Valley town square and sees how much is different. While there he sees a trailer for the newly released Jaws movie.
Though having seen said trailer I must call fowl since that's not the Jaws five that we got, nor did ours take place near fire island.
As long as Marty an Doc don't encounter a photo studio, a dude with horrible hair and a stupid pink camera or a guy in a raincoat telling them that said guy is a demon I think the multiverse should be fine.
Anyway Marty heads inside and after arguing with Max headroom versions of Regan and Ayatollah Khomeini he gets his Pepsi when a certain Butthead calls him out. Yep old Man Tannen points out Marty and remarks how much it sucks that he shares the same name of a complete loser. Apparently Marty is going to flush his life completely down the crapper, but before Biff can elaborate his dear grandson Griff storms in and drags Biff out to give another coat of wax on his hovercar. While that's going on two kids are trying to get a Wild Gunman machine working. Marty shows the two how it's done and wins the round in only three shots.
Oh go back to the shire you little halfling bastard! Once they head back to papa Bilbo's the real Marty Jr shows up forcing Marty Sr to hide behind the counter while Jr deals with Griff and his three rejects from Southern Cross. But Jr sure ain't no Kenshiro and folds like a cheap suit. Apparently the wheinus genes skips a generation in the Mcfly bloodline and dear Jr inherited his grandfather's milk toast nature.
Thankfully Jr gets tossed over the counter and Sr swaps in and tells Griff to piss off. Speaking of pissed if however Griff calls Marty a chicken which is his berserk button and Cyber Ansem making chicken noises with his Darth Vader chest plate thing doesn't help either.
Griff is about to smack Marty like a drum when he tries the old "what the hell is that!?" trick.
Oh shit this one's smart enough to figure it out! Now for his next impression, Jesse Owens!
Now we get a repeat of the first movie while Marty gets used to his new hover board. He manages to lose the three in the town pond but Griff pulls out the big guns, his Pitbull! The three hook on, Griff pulls out his whooping stick and flies after Marty. But before his head can get smashed in lake a Piñata he jumps into the water causing the four to go flying through the stain glass entrance of the courthouse. Marty manages to make it back to shore where and old man asks for a $100 donation to preserve the clock tower. $100 at least the economy hasn't gone that far down the crapper. They then see that the cubs beat Miami in the World Series. And that's when Marty get's an idea, an awful, wonderful, horrible idea. He heads to an antique shop and picks up a sports almanac that has sports info ranging from 1950 to 2000.
Doc then shows up to see the chaos that's unfolded while Biff comments that he hasn't seen a flying Delorean in 30 years, this along with seeing Jr walking out of the cafe 80's gets the hamster wheel in his head spinning. Doc says that since he used the sleep inducer on Jen there wasn't enough power to knock out Jr for an hour. But it turned out better since due to the hover board incident Griff and his gang will go to jail and the robbery will never take place. Thus history has been changed and the two can go back. However Doc then notices the sports almanac and acts like a bit of a hypocrite by saying that he didn't invent the time machine for gambling when he said right in the first movie that he was probably going to do the same thing Marty's planning on doing, maybe all this recent BS shifted Doc's priorities a bit.
As he prepares to throw the book out two cops find Jen in the ally and using her thumbprint think she's the present Jen and take her to her home where she's married to Marty. Doc says that they have to get her back before she learns too much or runs into her future self otherwise it could cause a paradox which could either cause the destruction of the entire universe or cause Roidmude 108 to gain its advanced state.
Either way shit's gonna get fucked up unless they do something!
Doc leaves the almanac in a trash can and as he and Marty leave Biff picks it up and decides to follow the two having overheard their entire exchange. Jen gets brought back to her home in hill dale which is not only a run down neighborhood but her life is a complete wreck, she married Marty out of pity and Marty himself is a washed out schlub who apparently got into a car accident with a man who owned a roles Royce who sued Marty for the damages as well as broke his hand in the accident which caused him to give up on his music and since Jennifer was too old to make a contract with Kyubey to fix Marty's hand he instead spent several years wallowing in self pity until he became the broken excuse of a man he is now. And all because somebody called him chicken.
So yeah Sayaka, look it it this way; instead of turning into a badass monster you could have ended up with someone resembling Prince Charming over here, dodged a bullet if you ask me.
Meanwhile Marty and Doc finally catch up to Jen and Doc instructs
Marty to stay with the time machine, of course foreshadowing Marty's bad
decision making he decides to follow leaving the time machine to be
stolen by Biff who somehow manages to get it working an takes him back
in time. Meanwhile future Marty gets called chicken by a coworker named
Needles and goes along with an illegal transaction over Skype. (Another
thing this movie managed to predict as far as I know) which gets him
fired over several faxes in a matter that couldn't be less subtle if Rip
Taylor and Alan Moore appeared from the screen, kicked him in the nuts,
handed him a pink slip out of an Uncle Sam hat and then flew out the
window while the Superman theme played from their asses as they flew
off. Though I'm pretty sure Alan Moore does that on Wednesdays anyway.
Jen grabs a copy of the fax from the closet she
was hiding in and makes for the door. Unfortunately she does run into
her future-self but thankfully instead of the universe ending or the
Paradox Roidmude showing up they both just faint. However old Biff
returns with the time machine, stumbles out and manages to hide while
most likely having a shock induced heart attack from all the crap he
pulled. Marty an Doc manage to get back to 1985 and set Jen on her porch
swing before dumping Marty back home. After some shenanigans Marty
slowly starts to realize that they may be in Hill Valley but they sure
aren't in Kansas anymore. He finds a newspaper and sure enough the date reads October 26th 1985. After learning that Mr Strickland's has learned the mantra of Zardoz,
he runs to the center of town where he finds that Fist of the north mad max judge dread happened. The place is over run by bikers, the sky is darkened and the court house has been turned into Biff's casino hotel. Marty wanders over to the adjacent museum and learns that Biff has accumulated his own financial empire by having an amazing winning streak winning at sports gambling and that he married Loraine.
Marty then gets knocked out by Biff's three goons and wakes up with his mother on the 27th floor. Biff then shows up furious that Marty should be in boarding school in Switzerland and that he got kicked out again. Loraine threatens to leave when he slugs Marty in the gut, but Biff demonstrates how much power he has over her by threatening to not only cut her off financially but also her three kids, and is content to have all three behind bars like Joey, one big happy jailbird family. After Biff and the three leave Marty asks how in the name of all that's sacred she could leave George for Biff. He asks where he is and she says that he's where he was for the last 42 years, oak park cemetery.
Marty goes and sure enough he finds his father's grave, he died March 15th 1973. That's when Doc finds him and brings him back to the lab (or at least what's left of it) and they theorize what happened. Somewhere in the past events have been changed leading to an alternate reality. Doc found some pretty damn big clues, the bag, the receipt the almanac came in, an the top of Biff's broken cane that he left behind when he got out of the time machine. That's when Marty puts the pieces together, Biff got the book, stole the time machine, went back an gave it to his past self creating this new timeline.
Now the only way to fix this world is to find out where and when Biff got the book from his future counterpart, so Marty decides to ask him. Marty finds Biff watching the shootout scene from "a fistful of dollars" and mentions something they need to discus, Biff at first thinks it's about money an tells him to piss off, but when Marty mentions the almanac it more then catches his attention. In his office Biff tells him that he got it on of course November 12 1955. He says that a crazy old codger with a cane appeared and gave it to him that so long as he bets on the winner he'll never lose.
He just vanished after that. Marty grabs a matchbook from
Biff's ash tray as Biff does mention one thing, that if an old man who
claims to be a scientist or a kid comes asking about that book, to put a
bullet between their eyes. Marty manages to get away and on to the roof
where Biff corners him with his pistol. Marty says that the cops
are going to match up the bullets in the gun, but Biff points out that
not only does he own the police but they also couldn't match up the
bullets that killed George. Marty then jumps only to land on the Delorean which knocks out Biff with the door and climbs inside and tells
Doc the details. As they prepare to make the jump Doc notes that the
time circuits are futzing up sometimes setting the destination time to
January 1st 1885.
The two then jump back to 1955 and get a plan
together. While Doc guards the time machine Marty will go into town,
find present Biff and tail him until future Biff shows up and gives his
younger self the almanac. Once old Biff leaves Marty will knock out
present Biff, take the almanac back to Doc torch the thing and this save
the future. However Marty has to be careful not to run into either his
past self or present Doc. Shouldn't be too hard right? Marty gets
some new clothes and starts tailing Biff. He finds him picking up his
car after whole fiasco with the manure truck where he says that nobody
can start his car but after his mechanic thinks there's a problem with
the clutch.
After he shows his lack of social graces with Loraine old
Biff shows up and offers to make him rich. Present Biff couldn't give
too craps until Old Biff starts the car which gets his attention. After
demonstrating that his book is the real deal Biff holds on to it
unknowingly locking up Marty who stowed away in the back of his car.
Marty calls Doc and tells him what happened. He'll make his way over to
Biff's place while Marty tries to get out. Later that night Biff
heads off to the enchantment under the sea dance with Marty still hiding
in the back with the almanac on his dashboard.
Doc just barely misses
them but manages to see his past self preparing for the experiment that
would send past Marty back to 1985. Hang on I just thought of something; if future Biff
changed the future by giving young Biff the book shouldn't this Marty be
from the future of that reality? And if so where did the time machine
come from if in the alternate timeline Doc was commuted to the nut
house? Were did it come from or does this operate on multiverse theory
where it isn't time travel but going between alternate realities created
by differing timelines? And if that's true then why isn't reality
tearing itself apart due to all of these overlapping timelines? Is
Elizabeth fixing this or do Marty and Doc find that the hill valley
lightning storm is actually Walpurgisnacht? HOW ARE THEY GONNA SAVE
HILL VALLEY THEN?! DEN-O? TIME FORCE? THE DOCTOR?! TRUNKS?! ANYONE?!
AAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Okay, after my little freakout Biff makes it to the dance an brings the almanac with him. Marty tells Doc over their walkie talkies where he is and continues to follow Biff outside where he sees Strickland take the almanac from Biff. He follows Strickland to his office where after some shenanigans and hypocrisy, Marty gets the almanac! But Biff is smarter then he looks and swapped the dust jacket of the almanac with a pin up book! Marty starts to panic over where Biff could be but sees out the window that his dad is about to pinch Biff out and rushes out. After seeing his old man knock Biff's lights out and seeing his past self walk back inside to set his story straight Marty walks through the crowd and after punching out Biff again steals the almanac.
After radioing in his success to Doc he gets chased into the gym by Biff's friends. They then see past Marty on stage and think that he's the one they just missed. Past Marty starts playing "Johnny be good" and the three are planing on jumping him which would cause past Marty to miss the lightning strike, never get back to 1985 an cause a paradox so Doc tells Marty that he has to stop those three at any cost without being seen by his past self or his parents. After some tense moments he manages to knock the three out and is on his way back but runs into Biff again. Marty's about to leave when Biff pressed the chicken button.
Marty then gets knocked out by his past self knocking him in the head with the door; Biff notices Marty has the almanac and takes it back so Marty and Doc have no choice but to follow him in the Delorean. After further cementing Biff's hatred of manure the two make it back to the Lyons estates development site and as the lightning storm starts Marty burns the book. He checks the matchbook he got from Biff's casino and sees it change back to the matchbook for his auto shop, meaning the timeline had been restored. However the Delorean gets struck by lightning and it disappears with Doc leaving Marty stranded, however a man shows up asking for a Mr Marty Mcfly. The man is from Western union and his branch was given a letter 70 years ago and explicit instructions to arrive at this exact location and deliver it to a young man matching Marty's description at this exact minute November 12th 1955.
Marty opens the letter and reads as follows, "Dear Marty, if my calculations are correct you should receive this letter the exact moment after you've seen the Delorean struck by lightning. First let me assure you that I am alive and well and have been living happily these last few months in the year 1885." Marty instantly knows it's from the Doc and rushes over to where present Doc is finishing sending past Marty back to 1985. Marty then tells Doc that he's back from the future and Doc then passes out as we close out part 2 with a look at the conclusion of this trilogy. Which we will cover next time, on time November 12th 2015, Let's go!
Back to the Future is owned by Robbert Zemeckis, Bob Gale, Stephen Speilberg, Amblin Entertainment and Universal Studios. Drawn Together is owned by Comedy Central, Dave Jeser, Matt Silverstein, Double Hemn, and Rough Draft Studios. Family Guy is owned by Seth Mcfarline, 20th century fox television, Fuzzy door Productions and Fox Television animation. Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers is owned by Saban Entertainment, Haim Saban, Renaissance Atlantic Entertainment, Toei Company, Ltd. and MMPR Productions, Inc. Zoolander is owned by Village Roadshow Pictures, VH1 Films and Paramount Pictures. Neon Genesis Evangelion is owned by Studio Gainax, Hedeaki Anno, Tatsunoko Productions, and AEsir Holdings. Zardoz is owned by John Boorman, and John Boorman productions (20th Century Fox).
Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.
The team finally made it out of the Black Market and head to Kandori's castle in the third ward. However there is of course a catch. Aki meets them at the front door and says that they can't get in without "the one from the forest" there but she's too much of a chicken so that ain't gonna be happening anytime soon. She then runs inside and closes the door behind her. Mark tries to push open the door while Nanjo notices that Aki placed something in the pedestal and that they won't be getting inside without finding the second half of the key, and since she mentioned the one hiding in the forest on the west side of town that's where they've got to go now. Reiji tries to just bulldoze his way inside screw his BS but Mark tells him to calm down and that he completely loses it when Kandori is involved and that whatever it is he doesn't have to carry it all on his own. Reiji just says that they all make him sick with that kind of grade school crap. Maki tells him to knock it off but Mark says that whether he's disgusted or not, they all have the same goal anyway. So now they're off to the Lost Forest which means back through that stupid subway again.
Once they made it back they head off to the shops to get new equipment and then to the Velvet Room to see what new Personas they can get before finally heading off to the Forest. Once they finally made it through the forest they find a gingerbread house (seriously) where they find a little girl in a white dress, Mark recognizes her as being the ghost from the historical society and asks if she's allies with Aki. The girl starts sobbing at this accusation Maki goes to comfort her and asks if she's Mai, she says yes.
Is it just me or does she seem familiar? Nah probably just me.
Maki then notices that Mai has a half-moon shaped compact mirror that looks suspiciously like hers. They ask if Aki is Mai's friend. She then starts sobbing again saying that Aki is the evil her. She said that one day Kandori showed up and Aki just came out of Mai and went with him.
Mai also explains more about what the mirrors are, she claims that it has the power to grant wishes and that she was the one who created the town and everyone in it! Maki asks what Mai didn't just use her mirror to stop Kandori and Aki but she says it only works properly with the full mirror and Aki has the other half, with it she can just cancel out Mai's wishes and that's why she retreated to the Forest. Thus Kandori's trap, he knows that Mai would use whatever power she had left to keep him and Aki out, so he set it up so that Naoya and his group have no choice but to get the other half of the mirror for him, smart bastard. Mai knows this and tells the group they can't have the mirror and that she should keep hiding from Kandori. But the group tells her that hiding from her problems won't solve anything. Mai then asks the big question, what are they living for anyway that would make them try so hard in the first place? The rest of the group doesn't know but Naoya says that it's to find that reason that keeps him going. That convinces Mai to give the compact to him. And sure enough when the group makes it back to the castle and place the half inside of the pedestal it sinks into the ground and the door opens. So the sneaky jackass has both half's of the wish granting mirror and is just letting the heroes come up because he fell into one of the biggest evil villain cliches. He's being overconfident that nothing can stop his plans and is inviting the heroes up just so he can gloat. I'm pretty sure that's somewhere on the evil Overlord list, so yeah, dumb ass. So the group manages to make it to the fifth floor where sure enough Kandori is up there waiting for them just so he can gloat. But not before he reveals that Reiji is his,
Yep, and the reason why Reiji is so obsessed with killing Kandori is because Reiji's Mother was their father's mistress who he just used and threw away like a dirty dishrag. And since their father is dead Reiji figures that Kandori is close enough, especially since he's as much of a scumbag as their father. Kandori just has Aki zap Reiji with a lightening attack to shut him up. Kandori then has Aki show the group his plans and ambitions by summoning a giant evil mirror called the Mirror of Chaos to show that he destroyed the hospital back in the real world and created his own castle in it's place called Deva Yuga. From there Kandori will begin his campaign to conquer the world, gain the power of a god and exterminate humanity using the power of his Mirror of Chaos to gain control of dimensions without the use of the Deva System. Kandori and Aki then head to the real world leaving a demon behind to stall for time. Saurva can cause some problems if you don't heal Reiji, Mark and Nanjo fast after Kandori's attacks, even then his Mamagnara attack will hit everyone with Earth damage so take that into consideration when equipping Personas, other then that he should go down faster from Fire, Ice and Wind attacks. Once he's dealt with the group try to find a way to chase after Kandori. Maki suggests the Old Mansion where there were rumors of people being spirited away. It could lead to a clue, especially since SEBEC HQ is located in the exact same place in the real world; there might be a tear or something that could lead back to their world. So off to the mansion they go and once they made it to the mansions top floor they find a device guarded by the demon Hariti. But something seems off since Hariti is speaking with the voice of Maki's mom. The group puts their weapons away and Hariti transforms back into Setsuko. Nanjo explains about this version of Maki to her and before any questions can be answered the portal starts to close so Setsuko stays behind to keep the portal stable while they stop Kandori. Once the group makes it back to the real world they find themselves back inside of the Deva System Chamber where they find Dr Nicholai where he's spouting about the destruction of mankind, letting judgement rain over all humanity and other such nihilistic evil BS. Kandori then teleports in and says that everyone on earth are little more then extensions of himself now and are praising his coming genocide of humanity. When Maki asks why he want to do this he says that that question sounds unlike her. He says that with the mirror he knows and sees all and he once again does the cliche thing and instead of killing them tells them to reach him at the top of Deva Yuga. So up to the top they go and GOOD GOD IS THIS PLACE BIG! No really this is one of the biggest areas in the game, filled to the brim with super strong enemies traps, pitfalls and various other nasty surprises. To all that are reading this and playing the game, good luck. Tune in next time on the Persona retrospective where after we fight Kandori we reveal a new twist!
Shin Megami Tensai Persona is owned by Atlus and Sega. Superman III is owned by Warner Bros. Cantharus Productions N.V, and Dovemead Films. Drawn Together is owned by Comedy Central, Dave Jeser, Matt Silverstein, Double Hemn, and Rough Draft Studios. Monty Python and the Holy Grail is owned by Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Python (Monty) Pictures and EMI films.
Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.
This episode is going to be hard for me. Mostly because of the
statements I made during my Kamen Rider Taisen Review, where I said
Ressha Sentai Toquger is one of the worst Super Sentai I've seen so far.
Then again the only other ones I've seen to completion so far are Liveman,
Dairanger, Go-Onger, Gokaiger, Go-Busters, and Kyoryuger (and both
seasons of Akibaranger if you count those). The ones that I haven't
finished are Kakuranger, Ohranger, Carranger and Megaranger. Even then it's because I haven't made time to finish those shows or the
subs aren't finished yet on some of the series. The point is that I don't
exactly have a large knowledge of Sentai having only seen ten out of thirty eight series so far, HOWEVER! Even from my
limited experience I still say that Toquger is one of the worst I've
seen so far. Most of the heroes are moronic, annoying dill-weeds, the
majority of the mech designs are the laziest I've seen yet, and whenever
the show touches on the subject of "Imagination" I just, ugh my mind just goes to dark, terrible, evil places. Kinda like Lordkat when he played Super Mario Brothers 2 Japan. Get
this, this show, is trying to teach kids, that children, are the only people who have imagination, and that they lose said imagination when
they grow up.
I'm not putting words in peoples mouths or anything, watch for yourself, they say it in at least the first three episodes. As someone who wants to be a game designer/writer, carriers that primarily rely on using ones imagination, this made me despise this show almost immediately. Also for the Sentai series that loves to spout out its "Imagination" pig crap for it to have some of the laziest designs for the heroes, mechs and their equipment, that is pretty indefensible. However there are some saving graces, I like the villain faction, the Shadow Line. From their designs to their personalities to how much smarter they are then the heroes most of the time. Them; combined with the very, very, very few good episodes in this show is what's keeping me from saying that it is completely irredeemable. What I mean by good episodes are the ones that either focus on advancing the plot or have nothing to do with Right. Everything else tends to lead to various flavors and amounts of pain. Now for a very quick summary of this series so that we can get on to talking about the episode. Ressha Sentai Toquger is about five people who have been recruited by an organization called the Rainbow Line to protect their stations from the Shadow Line who not only seek to capture these stations for themselves but to gather darkness from the people who live there which all goes into making the human world habitable not only for themselves but their Emperor, Zett. The core five consist of Kagura as Toq 5, an airhead who can delude herself into gaining super strength. Hikari as Toq 4, he is the smartest member of the team and my personal favorite. Mio as Toq 3, she's the tomboy of the team and shes kind of starting a relationship with Tokatchi who is Toq 2, he's a bookworm who has about as much common sense as a garden-hose. And finally there's Right as Toq 1, he's a dumb-ass with Bieber hair who through his thoughtlessness, carelessness and outright stupidity often makes situations worse and often times make the personal crises of his teammates even worse, sometimes with only his mere presence. He is a cancer to the team, the worst Red Senshi I've seen on either side of the Ocean so far (including Nick from Mystic Force, Jaden from Samurai, Troy from Megaforce and Alata from Goseiger) and no matter how much I want him to, he will never go away. The five are guided by the conductor named, Conductor, and his Monkey Hand puppet, Ticket; kill me! Their Alpha is a horribly perverted Gynoid named Wagon who seems to only have three jobs, bring the Toqugers food, take selfies of herself, and be horribly annoying. She's almost as bad as Jar-Jar in my book. The five are later joined by Zalam, a former member of the Shadow Line who joins them to make amends for the evil he caused while working for the Shadow Line (yeah his power is to make it rain, truly there is no greater evil in this world) basically his shtick is that he's an over the top parody of the brooding loner hero with his main joke being that every time he goes into battle he says that this will be where he dies. At first I didn't like this at all because it seems like the show is making fun of people who are contemplating suicide, but what saves this is that he does it in increasingly over the top ways and the jokes that are made about this trope is what saves it. I think that its like when someone keeps doing something stupid you eventually have to laugh, like this for example.
So yeah, Zalam joined the Toqugers as Toq 6 and his name was changed by the Toqugers to Akira Nijino which literally means "the brightness of the rainbow" (Niji no Akira) GET IT!? Anyway the plot so far, the Shadow Lines leader Zett is trying to gain the power of the light because he hates the darkness and wants to live in said light. However being in the human world is toxic to the guy, so he figures that by gathering light, whether literal or figurative he could live in both worlds. To that end he absorbed Gritta; the daughter of one of his Generals, Madame Noir to gain her inner sparkle. General Schwartz, the guy I mentioned in the Taisen review does not take this well and he attacked Zett only to be blown away for his trouble. And on top of thisMarchioness Morc the General who raised Zett has shown up since the Toqugers are liberating their Shadow Towns, the stations that the Shadow Line have already taken over that is under Morc's jurisdiction. The Toqugers are doing this in the hopes that one of these Shadow Towns is their home town, which is the reason why they became the Toqugers in the first place. However the mech that the Toqugers use to access the Shadow Towns, the Drill Ressha, is in Schwartz' possession.
Good
If not, too bad there's a quiz later. So with episode 31 we open on two kids jogging through some fog training for Baseball judging by their uniforms when they notice the sound of a train whistle and see a giant train shrouded in fog. We then cut to the Toqugers on their trains when Ticket announced that instead of traveling to the next station they are instead heading for the Hyper Ressha Terminal. Apparently it can't be normally accessed by the Rainbow Line and can only show up when someone is summoned. I want to say that sounds familiar, but I can't put my finger on why. I'm being serious, someone help me.
Not going to lie, I like this shot and sequence.
It reminds me of Thomas the Tank Engine but in a good way. After the opening theme Ticket and Conductor say that the Terminal is the most important part of the Rainbow Line. Mostly because it's the control hub for the entire line, like the Shadow Line's Castle Terminal, so like it, the Terminal only shows up for when it is absolutely necessary, like when the President needs to talk to someone. Which is the case here since a voice (who we later find out is the President) tells Conductor over the intercom to meet him in his office. Right asks who that was.
Apparently President in Japanese is Sousai
(－‸ლ)
You've been with him this long and you've only realized this now?!
Once again we've learned something today.
Okay Ticket, you're redeemed. This is why you're my favorite character in this thing.
After Right once again proving that his mother drank while he was in the womb. The Prez chimes in again saying that they need to evacuate so that the trains can get cleaned. Apparently this is to clean the trains of any residual Darkness left behind from fighting the Shadows since it's corrosive to them. And the Diesel Ressha is proof of that. While the trains are getting the evil scrubbed off, the dummies decide to take in the wonders of the Hyper Terminal, which apparently is the Mega Mall since it has a movie theater, a gym, a library, several restaurants and almost any facility you could want, minus an S&M dungeon. While the team heads off to get food Wagon decides to go polish her body at the Salon.
This is them normally.
This is them a few seconds later.
Notice something off?
We cut to the Shadow Line Castle. Zett is informed that the Hyper Ressha Terminal has appeared and Morc is more then ready to take advantage of this. She tells Nero to lure the Toqugers away from the Terminal while she attacks the Terminal directly. Zett decides to tag along since he's attracted to the Sparkles.
They're not even real Vampires!
Ugh Lady, this is a kid's show remember?!
Noir notices that Gritta hasn't been fully absorbed by Zett and she plans on saving her. Why? Last time I checked all you were concerned with was having her marry Zett so she could absorb him and take over with you pulling the strings. So now you're concerned about your daughter? Well at least you're the villain so I'm supposed to hate you. Once Zett left Schwartz starts to move himself with the Drill Ressha and his personal Kurainer. We then cut to the Rainbow President's office where he and Conductor are talking. This is big, we can finally see the head of the Rainbow line, the one that set this all up, the source of the Toqugers and the Rainbow line and; it's an escaped prisoner from Deadman Wonderland?!
I quit.
I give up. Is this the Ice Cream Bunny? Are we going to see Tom Sawyer and Huck Fin watching a Gorilla pulling Santa's sleigh on a beach in Miami next? This is my head cannon, the Ice Cream Bunny convinced Santa to help him set up the Rainbow line if he would finally give him some damn Ice Cream and the first train was the Fire Ressha. It makes perfect sense I mean what else would they do with the Fire Truck they drove away on? At least you could take the Station Master from Den-O somewhat seriously, Jesus Christ. President Ice Cream Bunny tells Conductor that there's a problem with the Toqugers. I know, four of them are as dumb as hell, chuck the rest and make Hikari Red. He says that they've been exposed to the darkness too much and even if that wasn't the case they're changing by themselves anyway. How? We'll figure that out later. We cut to some people who finished eating at a restaurant but can't get out of their chairs. Not because they're morbidly obese but because a Shadow Kaijin has used his magic to seal them on to the chairs.
This is Chair Shadow
While Chair Shadow does this his big brother then uses his magic to flip the tables and chairs several feet into the air simultaneously while the people are still stuck to them.
This is Table Shadow, is it just me or does their design remind you of rams?
Thankfully nobody landed on their head, that would have killed them instantly.
That's kind of what I would expect to happen when people's heads meet the floor with that amount of terminal velocity. But there goes me and my logic again. The Toqugers get there before there were any fatalities (on screen anyway.)
Anyway they show up, transform and fight the brothers. Table Shadow starts off by flipping the bus they rode in on with so much kinetic force it made it explode! Now imagine if he did that to a normal person oh wait yes he did! Honestly there should be several piles of chunky salsa everywhere.
BWAHAHAHAHA you see why I've changed on Akira? He's mourning a bus for god's sake how is this not funny?
I mean come on this is actually funny. While that's going on Zett and Morc head to the Hyper Terminal to tear the place apart. One wonders why they didn't bring every single Monster, Kurliner and Kuro under their command with them, but we need to save all of that for the finale. Tradition and all that. Schwartz then rams Zett and Morc's train with the Drill Kurainer and forces them to land in an office building. Schwartz fights against Morc which draws the attention of Right. Noir shows up to back up Morc to make sure that Schwartz doesn't kill Zett. Zett however finds this to be annoying and sends out shock-waves of Darkness to punish them, but Right shows up to save a little girl who was cowering in a corner, no doubt scared. Right then decides to fight the Shadow Emperor for sacrificing others to obtain what he wants. Also for scaring the little girl.
After a really good cutaway Zett transforms into his monster form to meet Right's challenge. But then Morc, Noir and Schwartz then get in on the fight and it quickly turns into an uneven five way brawl. Back to the rest of the core four Toqugers, the fight against the dining set brothers is not going well, when Hikari tells the others to retreat. Akira on the other hand still has his hands full with Nero. Back to Right; Zett is starting to lose it and is attacking everyone that gets in his way. Thankfully there were no civilians in the area otherwise, they'd be dead. Right then decides to try and match Zett with the Hyper Ressha armor.
Which is still one of the worst Battlizers I've ever seen! It's just stupid gold shoulder pads for god's sake!
Ugh this does give Right the power to repel Zett's strikes and forces him back. Schwartz then takes the chance to strike a fatal blow against Zett but sees that Gritta is inside of him and hesitates giving Zett a chance to repel him. Zett starts to feel pain in his chest forcing him and Morc to retreat. Noir confirms for Schwartz that Gritta is really alive inside of Zett and that's why she can't let Zett be destroyed just yet. Meanwhile back to the Dining bros they're looking for the Toqugers when they notice a Kotatsu right in the middle of the walkway.
This totally doesn't look suspicious at all does it?
Of course for a monster that's all about flipping people and tables; this is like the old shave and a haircut trick and he absolutely can't resist. So he flips the thing revealing the Toqugers who use their blasters to shoot the Demon Duo. Table uses Chair as a living shield letting him be destroyed. Of course in Toquger when a monster is destroyed it just causes him to grow. For no explained reason! He just grows, not even a throw away line to explain why. Hell I'll even take torpedoes being fired at them to make them grow, just give me something! Of course the Trains are finished being cleaned up at this point. Welcome to the plot convenience playhouse kids. So yeah, the Toqugers form their terribly constructed mech, beat the giant Chair Shadow and all's well that ends well. Except for when they get back to the trains where Conductor gives the Toqugers bad news, but good news for me. The Toqugers are disbanded! YAY! But of course we still have at least 18 more episodes of this show left to go so not really. Next time we'll find out what President Ice Cream Bunny told Conductor. And we reveal a new twist!
Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.
Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai. History of the World Part 1 is owned by Mel Brooks and 20th Century Fox Spaceballs is owned by Mel Brooks, Brooksfilms and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. Good Burger is Owned by Paramount Pictures, Nickelodeon Movies and Tollin/ Robbins Productions Naked Gun 331/3: The Final Insult is owned by Jim Abrahams Jerry and David Zucker, and Paramount Pictures Wayne's World is owned by Lorine Michaels, NBC Films and Paramount Pictures Scanners is owned by David Cronenberg, Avco-Embassy Films, and Manson International The Langoliers TV Mini series is owned by Stephen King, Tom Holland and ABC Network Drawn Together is owned by Comedy Central, Dave Jeser, Matt Silverstein, Double Hemn, and Rough Draft Studios.
