Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Another Ending 2: Paradox with Poppy (Spoilers)

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 Welcome back to Ending 2 of the Ex-Aid Gaiden movies. For those who missed on the final exploits of Brave and Snipe here's the link for the review. Now that that's taken care off we can move on to the trials of the two Bugster Kamen Riders, Paradox and Poppy. I have to admit I'm definitely looking forward to this one since unlike Brave and Snipe who've been Kamen Riders since the start of the show we're getting screen time with one who was a villain for the majority of the show as well as one of the rare female Riders who haven't been killed off. (Ok she technically died by the end of the show but I knew she would resurrect before the last episode ended since she's a perfected Bugster which could only die for good by the power of Chronos, BTW I called it ever since she debuted as a Rider!)

 After the cold opening we open on Parado just chilling out on the helipad bored out of his mind since  he can't think of any way to help Emu since there's no need to transform. Poppy comes by to remind him that this is one of those problems that's good to have and encourages him to find a way to help CR in his own way. That's when Dr Feelgood (who I remind you all is EVIL) comes by with a job she needs Parado's help with. After Poppy leaves Feelgood pulls out a Bugvisor and steals not only Parado but Builds catchphrase! Later on Emu and Poppy meet with Feelgood and the new CEO of Genm Corp Tsukuru Koboshi (the guy who created Juju Burger and its good Bugster; Burgermon) to see the results of their collaboration.

 That being "Let's Create a Bugster" a Bugster cultivation game that's apparently capable of restoring humans from raised Bugsters. Emu's more then happy to be the first test player and starts it up, his Bugster that he has to raise, is Parado.

 No, no Brick he just has a different hairstyle, dresses in all black and doesn't seem to have all of his gaming skills but that doesn't mean he isn't Parado I mean come on! Koboshi points out that the collar Parado's now wearing isn't because he's going through his experimental phase but to gauge how close he is to becoming human. Poppy in the meantime will be raised by Feelgood while Emu focuses on Parano.

Sure thing Parado, now put on the gimp suit, bring me the meatballs, get on all fours and call me Daddy!

 While Emu spends some time with his new boy toy Feelgood and Poppy get started. After Poppy indulges in some fans fetishes in-between her Wonder Woman homages Feelgood gets her on track by having her put on a wedding dress. This particular dress causes Poppy to flashback to when her host; Dan Sakurako was trying this same dress with her soon to be husband Dan Masamune. Once she regained those memories Feelgood sucks her into the Bugvisor. Back with the boys Emu notes Parano's lack of gaming skill but he just writes it off as being out of practice. Afterwords Parano drops the act after shooting him in the shoulder with the Bugvisor 2's gun.

 Emu passes out from the pain and is rushed to intensive treatment. Afterwords he tells Kujo what happened who goes off to confront Koboshi who doesn't know what happened. He does tell him however that he was collaborating with Feelgood on the project. He goes to confront her who feigns innocence and walks off after he brings up her father again from the first movie; that he was the one who inspired her to become a Gene Therapist. So where's the real Parado and where did Parano come from? Those are answered in Feelgood's hideout at the remains of the Next Genome Research institute.

 She abducted Parado to swap him out with Parano, binding him in cables that contain Level 0 Data so he can't muster any strength. She reveals that she's working with Kuroto to "raise Parado again from scratch". Back at the hospital Kujo shares with Emu the result of his research into Feelgood. Apparently when she was young her parents divorced and she went with her mother leaving behind her father, Zaizen Michihiko aka Dr Pacman! Since he was the one who originally extracted Parado from Emu Feelgood was able to extract Parano from the revived Dan Masamune. Since both Masamune and Emu were patient Zero of the Bugster virus she was able to extract Parano from Masamune's original strain.

 So wait does this mean that the purest form of Bugster is Parado? I mean it has to be since Parado is extracted from the original strain and both Emu and Masamune have that strain.

What I'm getting from this is that Parado is the Kid Buu of Bugsters. Albeit without the mindless homicidal rage, destructive nature and mindless insanity. Though they both have ridiculous outfits and childlike personalities.

 After hearing that Parano almost killed Emu Parado tries to break free but is smacked around by Feelgood.

Doc stop it right now, you never told him the Safe-word!

 She leaves the two to fight in order to finish Parano's cultivation into the ultimate Genius Gamer. So Parano pulls out a Gamer Driver and a Black Duel Gear (as seen on Kuroto's desk in Episode 41) and transforms into Kamen Rider Another Paradox. Speaking of the God Dan Kuroto we finally catch up with the opening of the movie where we find him chilling in his backyard like a boss.

So while his former allies are getting the shit beat out of them as part of his grand plan he's just sitting there in a bright pink shirt having his massive ego stroked by Dr Feelgood while sipping on a frou-frou drink, a frou-frou drink! 

 So Parado transforms as well to fight his Doppelgänger but gets his ass handed to him with a side order of bitch cakes and eggs. Apparently this is because the human genes Parano is cultivating are from his host, so Parado is up against a Bugster who got his human genes from someone who attained the power of Chronos as well as his ruthless and evil personality, makes sense to me. Speaking of we find Masamune restrained by the level 0 cables while his maniac son rubs his talents and god complex in his face. He finally breaks down and confesses to his greatest sin, helping give life to a psychotic piece of shit like Kuroto. Parado manages to escape after a heart to heart with Emu, frees Poppy and confronts Dr Feelgood by not only calling her out on her hypocrisy but also the real reason why she's helping Kuroto, all she really wants is to restore her father.

 This causes her to snap and summon both Parano and a second Crimson Dynamo she created from her fathers data to get her two test subjects under control. The Bugster riders transform and fight, culminating with with Poppy destroying Crimson Dynamo and both Paradox and Poppy defeating Another Paradox, all while giving more cheesy speeches about the worth of a heart then a Kingdom Hearts game. But this particular game isn't over just yet.

"Doc, I don't feel so good"

 No it's not the purple monster with the blinged out Power Glove, it's the purple monster with the Bugvisor 2; the God Dan Kuroto who sucked Parano back into the Bugvisor and, for lack of a better descriptor, eats all of his data. With this, Kuroto has no further need for Dr Feelgood and kicks her to the curve, I mean, why would he need her when he's going to surpass God and bless the world with his Perfect Game? Poppy asks "what the hell I thought you were trying atone for all of the insane crap you pulled?" But really, did you really think that Poppy? This is the same guy who infected countless innocent people with a deadly monster creating virus, attempted to kill other people to advance his goals, revived four dead Riders (somehow) to revive himself using their despair, set up his own father as a patsy for his crimes and even indirectly killed Zaizen by having him extract Parado from Emu (who he infected out of spite) to even cause all of this and you honestly thought he wanted to atone?

 No no no he played all of you at CR like a damn fiddle just so he can get revenge on Masamune for stealing Kamen Rider Chronicle for himself. Like father like son he'll manipulate and exploit anyone and thing he can to fulfill his insane ambitions. He teleports away leaving Feelgood feeling not so good after being exploited by him and stumbles off in a delusional stupor at the notion of Poppy and Parado actually having hearts. We end this Gaiden movie with Kuroto at a waterfall and OH SWEET JESUS WHY?!

 Oh dear baby Buddha what were Toei and Tetsuya Iwanaga thinking?! Well I guess they had so much of Poppy in fetish outfits I guess they decided to include that scene to give the ladies and guys who swing that way something to go crazy over. To clarify, I'm not going to cover that scene, or describe it. But I will say this, it's on par with and perhaps even worse then that one scene from The Room. Anyone who's seen that movie or the Disaster Artist you all know that scene; just, why, WHY?! Ok, ignoring, THAT scene this movie was decent.

 It gave some more action with Poppy as a Kamen Rider and we all definitely need more of that. Dr Feelgood while having understandable motivations was despicable in her methods, willing to sacrifice Emu, Parado and Poppy just to see her father restored and restore Kuroto to being a full human again. Now we've all seen Infinity War so I don't have to tell you all that when you have to sacrifice people to save people you're doing something wrong! Parano sadly wasn't really all that interesting, but then again the guy was only given life only a few days ago in story so the whole point was that he had little time to develop. All in all aside from that scene which shall not be mentioned this movie was passable.

 So we've seen Brave and Snipe take their bows. We just had Paradox and Poppy discover their humanity. All that's left is to settle an old score as a mad God descends upon the world and the only one who can save us from his cruel game is a habitual liar who loves to take people for a ride. Wrapping up the Ex-Aid Gaiden trilogy is Ending 3: Genm vs Lazer. Now if you'll excuse me I need to take 25 showers and get myself brainwashed to get that scene out of my head.

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Anchorman the Legend of Ron Burgundy is owned by Dreamworks Pictures, Judd Apatow, Apatow Productions and Adam McKay
Dragon Ball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT is owned by Funnimation, Toei animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.
The Ren & Stimpy show is owned by Bob Camp, John Kricfalusi, Spümcø, Games Animation and Nickelodeon.
The Simpsons are owned by Matt Groening, Gracie Films, and 20th Century Fox Television. 

March to Infinity: Thor The Dark World: Two down, four to go.

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 Now that Tony Stark has hung up his armor for now we'll head off to the nine realms to see how our favorite god of thunder is doing. Not you Gebeleizis, you go back in the corner! Our story begins with Thor traveling around the 9 realms cleaning up several uprisings caused by the destruction of the Bifröst bridge from the first movie. While this is going on Loki is being sentenced to life in prison by Odin for his little attempt to conquer earth, and Odin makes it very clear that if not for the favor of his wife Frigga (played by Reine Russo) Loki would be dead for his crimes. Not that Loki gives a crap it just conifirms in his crazy head that Odin never gave a crap about him in the first place.

 Because yeah he totally doesn't care about his adopted son that otherwise would have been left to die alone by savage frost giants. Odin's totally on par with Gendo Ikari, Bing Crosby, Steel Ball Run George Joestar and Tenjuro Banno for worst dad period, we're so behind you Loki you poor, poor wooby.

  Back on Earth Jane is in London observing an odd phenomenon called the Convergence where basically the Matrix is glitching out. Gravity is losing its hold and portals are opening to other realms. And wouldn't you know it Jane happens to fall into one where she accidentally uncovers an ancient artifact from Asgards past called the Aether. (Which along with the Tesseract are actually two of the six infinity stones.) That sub-sequentially awakens an evil force called the Dark Elves lead by Malekith the Accursed (played by Christopher Eccleston) who wants to reclaim the Aether to destroy all the 9 realms during the convergence because basically the Dark Elves are Black Lanterns in that they want to destroy all life in all of reality because they see life as a blight in a perfectly dark universe and blah, blah, blah.

 But yeah seeing as how his girlfriend is possessed by demonic Kool-aid Thor heads back to Midgard to bring Jane back to Asgard to see if their medical technology can identify what the Aether is and how to safely extract it from her. However Malekith sent in a monster to free Asgard's prisoners to cause a distraction while his forces invade to recover the Aether. They find Frigga and fridge her when she refuses to tell them where Jane is which Odin, Thor and Loki don't exactly take well. Odin's grief clouds his thinking so Thor executes a plan to get Jane out of Asgard to protect the populace. But it requires getting Loki out of jail since Odin closed down the Bifröst.

 The plan works and Malekith extracts the Aether from Jane, but Thor fails to stop him from escaping and Loki ends up dying in battle. Which is exactly why we see him later in Thor Ragnarok, but we'll get to that much later. Back to this movie the Convergence is about to commence in Greenwich and Thor has to keep Malekith busy until it passes. It works and Malekith is killed back in the Dark World, Thor and Jane are back together and Loki has disguised himself as Odin and has taken control of Asgard to unspeakable ends. As for the Aether, the source of all this madness?

 Many people are split between this, Iron Man 2 and The Incredible Hulk as the worst of the main MCU movies, as for me I'm in the Iron Man 2 camp. But just because I think this movie is better then Iron Man 2 it doesn't mean that I can't find some serious flaws in this one.  Now let's just get this right out of the gate, Malekith is one of the worst villains in the MCU. Seriously his design is uninspired, his plan generic and has about as much personality as Troy from Power Rangers Megaforce. I never once felt nervous or intimidated by him as a villain and the reasons behind his whole goal of destroying all life period is stock, emo and stupid. Now his plan itself made sense and how it wold be carried out but aside from that noting made me interested in seeing this character.

 Also there was honestly no reason to have Stellan Skarsgård and Kat Dennings in this movie, or at least as much screen time as they were given. Skarsgård I get; to see how he dealt with being possessed by Loki in Avengers but other then that I can't think of any reason, especially not to see what his dick looked like!!! Kat Dennings was also mostly just comic relief and lead Jane to discovering the portal to the Aether but aside from that she's not needed. Now look I don't find her to be ungodly annoying or anything like that she kind of hits the marks of adorkable for me but unless you have meaningful things for a character to do in your story don't use them. Like for example, Hogun, there wasn't much need for his character in this movie outside of establishing the discord among the 9 realms after the destruction of the Rainbow Bridge, so they had his scene and done.

 On to the better aspects of the movie, which was mostly any scene involving Thor with Loki. Honestly if Loki wasn't here with his quips, pathos and charisma to offset the black hole of interest that is Maleketh this movie definitely wouldn't have worked. I liked the back and forth that he and Thor had since it was both entertaining and interesting to see how Thor treats him now after all of the horrible things he's done. We can tell that Thor still cares for him but isn't so naive to just let him off the hook just because they're family, he knows that somewhere his brother is still there within this psychopath even if he says otherwise. Its not limited to just Thor, Odin and Fregga know what needs to be done but you can tell it hurts them to do it even if they can't show it to maintain their rule, that even family is no exception to the laws of the realm and their consequences for breaking them. They do still care despite his actions and becoming such a distrustful, raging lunatic. 

  Now before I forget this movie is actually critical to the overall plot of the MCU. Since as I mentioned earlier Dark World established that not only is the Aether one of the infinity stones, but it also retconned the Tesseract from Captain America and Avengers to be one too. So as much as people want to ignore it, we have no choice but to watch for a full recap. So the Stone count for now is 2 with the Reality Stone (Aether) in possession of the Collector and the Space Stone (Tesseract) inside of Odin's vault. Two down, four to go.

 So to sum it up there's the seeds of a great movie in here but it's held back with some superfluous characters and the MCU's biggest reoccurring problem, a truly compelling, entertaining or well rounded villain who isn't named Loki. I can definitely see why people rank this movie as low as they do but I can still get some fun out of it. Next time there's no debate to the quality. As the March to Infinity has us in pursuit of the Winter Solider.

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

Thor The Dark World is owned by Marvel Studios, produced by Keven Feige based off the comic by Larry Leiber, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.
The Ren & Stimpy show is owned by Bob Camp, John Kricfalusi, Spümcø, Games Animation and Nickelodeon.

Tokusatsu Review: Shruiken Sentai Ninninger vs Toqger Part 2: Bad Leftovers

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 So anything of importance that I missed last time? NOPE just dumbass characters acting like dumbasses. Speaking of; Chief Dumbass rolls into the demon theme park and finally meets the mastermind and resident Ninja Nerd.

NERRRRRRRD! Wait Mavro; SUPER MEGAFORCEEEEEE FLASHBAAAAAAAKSSSS!!! KILL HIM NOW I DON'T CARE WHO!!!

 Aside from sharing the name of one of the worst villains in Power Rangers history this guy is clearly insane because why in the name of all that's good would ANYONE want to spend time with Takaharu unless he owes them money? Speaking of he tries to fight Mavro but is stoped by Mavro's Ninja clones. But since they're based off of ACTUAL (and one mythological but far more legit) NINJAS Takaharu gets his ass kicked. Mavro then extracts his Shadow from Takaharu and combines them with the three clones to create an Evil Clone of Takaharu, DARK AKANINGER!!!

 Unfortunately Takaharu manages to separate himself from the Clone. So while he's not under Mavro's control he's lost all his Nintality to the Clone, but no problem since according to Mavro all he is now is just Leftovers.

Well dude Sonya and the American fanbase agrees and quite frankly with how your show progressed I'm right there with them so from now on we dub thee Leftovers!

 With his new evil Ninninger Mavro leaves Leftovers to fade into nothing but just as Saitama is about to throw Leftovers out Wrong (Since I hate Right just as much as everyone else hates Leftovers I'm calling him Wrong from now on as well) saves him and gets the two out of there. We then cut back to Kyuemon finishing the exposition dump about how Leftovers will be reduced to nothing unless Dark Akaninger is destroyed. Yet the three look horrified for some reason I'd personally break out a Piñata but that's just me.

 Back at their base the two groups try to come up with a plan to save Leftovers but are coming up dry. The Toqgers tell the Niningers to stay back while they take care of it but they insist on coming as well and so they do. Meanwhile Leftovers wakes up to see Wrongs punchable Justin Bieber face and the two talk and bond about how hopelessly stupid they are. After some banter between the two groups of competent team members we cut back to Dark Akaninger starting to cover the world in darkness. Kyuemon expresses his concerns about interference but Mavro's got it covered, he recreated the Shadow Line Generals with additional Ninja skills to guard the area. Kyuemon then takes off to make sure his check from Toei doesn't bounce and leaves with Wanyūdō. 

 The two reds manage to reach Mavro and Dark but Dark attacks and overpowers the two. The others manage to get past the Shadow Line Clones with their own varying degrees of stupidity including leaving Schwartz to being BOILED ALIVE, DAMN! The two reds actually hold their own against Dark, but before Marvo can interfere Akira (who thankfully has stoped using his "This is where I die" catchphrase) takes him on instead. Elsewhere Kyuemon sends Wanyūdō to attack the city to collect fear energy but are stoped by a loud and powerful battlecry!

 No no; it's time for the Early bird cameo of the new team, the Zyuohgers who are so badass they make quick work of Wanyūdō in less time it takes to nuke a Hot-pocket. But like all good things this appearance of the 40th Anniversary team must come to an end as we go back to the two clown troops calling themselves Sentai. Dark is beating Wrong and Leftovers like a drum telling Leftovers that if he dies he goes with him. The teams finally catch up with the Niningers firing the Toqgers cannon at Dark while imagining what Leftovers hates, which of course reduces our Badass villain Ranger Clone; into a pepper that Leftovers then destroys with an "I AM A MAN" punch.

My hatred of this resolution knows no bounds!

 But as if a sign of mercy from the Emperor himself Leftovers fades away into nothingness.

 Yep, no going back now Leftovers's dead and all's well that ends well.

Nope, you think you'll be rid of this dipshit so easily? Not while there's still some of your faith in humanity I can squash!

 Just when I though he wouldn't show up and this movie might actually be tolerable Old Ninja shows up again and somehow, don't ask me how, brings Leftovers back with the power of IMAGINATION!!!!!! Now you might be thinking that this is where I'll use the Deadfall clip of Nick Cage screaming "Fuck" as loud and over the top as he can. But no, this plot point is so dumb, so infuriating and so stupid I cannot express my anger properly. So thus I leave this task to a true master of anger. Take it away Ren.

BUT FIRST, FIIIIIRRRRRRSSSTTTTTTTT, I'm going to take a wizz. Don't you go anywhere, as next time we'll see how much more these two teams can drive me closer to getting a visit from a Red Lantern ring.


Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Beauty and the Beast (1992) is owned by Goodtimes entertainment, Golden Films and Sony.
Looney Toons is owned by Warner Brothers and the Vitaphone Corporation. 
Kazumi Magica The Innocent Malice is owned by Masaki Hiramatsu, Takashi Tensugi, Magica Quartet and Yen Press.
Mortal Kombat is owned by Warner Brothers Interactive Entertainment and NetherRealm Studios.
One-Punch Man is owned by ONE, Viz Media and Shueisha.
The Ren & Stimpy show is owned by Bob Camp, John Kricfalusi, Spümcø, Games Animation and Nickelodeon.
The Tick: The Animated Series is propriety of  Hank Tucker, Sunbow Entertainment, Graz Entertainment, Fox Children’s Productions and Disney Media Distribution 

Video Game Review: Persona Retrospective: Persona (PSP) Part 11: Too cool for school.

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

For those who've been keeping up with my Persona retrospective you are no doubt aware that there's a second story for the original Japanese release which was recovered for the international PSP re-release and that's what I'll be covering. Also no there will be no Frozen references in this review, mainly because I've never seen the movie and it's been done to death by this point. But for those who haven't read my previous reviews here are the links, enjoy.

 You remember back in Part 4 where I mentioned the Snow Queen Quest? Where here's where we can get on that quest. After you've rescued Setsuko and head back to the school instead of telling Ayase that you're going to attack SEBEC instead talk to the girl in classroom 2-4 who says that she heard from Devil-Boy aka Tsutomu that the reason the town is so screwed up is because of a curse on St Hermelin. So then we find Tsutomu in the Library who tells of the Snow Queen, a fairy tale that's performed by the St Hermelin drama club as a traditional play. However the tradition stopped since the play is cursed, every person who's ever worn the Snow Queen's mask and played the role died in unnatural ways.

 However that's as far as he knows aside from there being supposedly only one person who played the role and survived the curse, so now to find out who that is. Somebody in the Drama club might know more so that's the next stop. Of course with a story of such infamy the Drama club denies it ever happened, so time go over their heads and make a stop to the student council room to see if there were records kept. There are records but the President isn't budging on showing them and suggests asking someone who was there, a good guess would be the Principal.

This is Principal Ooishi who works hard for her students and their welfare.

 Once Naoya makes it to her office she knows that he's been looking into the Snow Queen rumors, so she gives the whole story. She never believed the rumors until eight years ago when Ms Saeko was cast as the Snow Queen, and that Ms Saeko lost her best friend. Ooishi blames herself for what happened, that if she had forbade the use of the mask then nobody would have died; so to prevent any more deaths she had the mask purified and sealed away. But hey guess who's going to ignore all of that and find the mask? YOU!!!! But hey it's not like we haven't heard several times before that the mask is clearly evil or anything, I mean come on

when has a mask

ever been the source or cause of ungodly evil

in the world? They were probably just unlucky or something.

 If you did all of the steps right you completely ignore logic and head for the Gyms storage area you'll find a box with talismans on it, open it up and retrieve the Snow Queen Mask. Naoya then makes his way to the hole where he sees Mark and Maki walk off to attack SEBEC leaving Yukino and Ayase behind. Yukino says that Nanjo got hurt so Mark, Brown and Elly brought him back so he could recover. But then Maki showed up out of nowhere so like last time more then a few eyebrows were raised.

 But that's put on the back burner for now as Ms Saeko shows up to see what all the commotion is; after getting brought up to speed and convinced to hold down the fort by Yukino she notices that Naoya is carrying the Snow Queen Mask. She starts to reminisce about her school days and tells the story of the play. Afterwords she stupidly decides to put on the mask to prove how lucky she is since she survived the curse, however the entire school is frozen over and the structure has completely been reshuffled. So the moral of the story kids?

 But she did and now look what happened. She's been possessed by an evil spirit and is now going to turn the entire world into an eternal frozen night unless the group stops her. But of course they can't just force the mask off of her no no, the Snow Queen has frozen Ms Saeko and if the group tries to just remove the mask from her and free the school they would end up shattering her into little pieces. The Queen then pulls a move stupid enough for the Great Leader to blush by telling the three that she has set up three towers to stall for time while she prepares the spell to summon the eternal night and that if they can defeat each of the towers guardians before the clock's respective tower strikes twelve she'll leave and return the school and Ms Saeko back to normal. Of course the three have absolutely no reason to trust her and try to find a surefire way to remove the mask. But since neither Uncle or Toru are there to whip up the Mask removal potion they're pretty much up the creak without a paddle.

 Thankfully Philemon shows up to calm the group down and gives them the frame of the demon mirror, which if they collect at least eight of the twelve shards can free Ms Saeko from the Mask. So they have their goal and three towers to climb but they're gonna need two more people to help on their quest and luckily Nanjo, Elly and Brown are still in the school, however since Nanjo is a default party member in the SEBEC story we'll just go find Elly and Brown. Ladies first then as we find Elly talking to Tsutomu in the library. The group figures that since she knows a lot about demons, can read the runes on the doors leading to the towers and already has a Persona she would be invaluable and thus she joins the party when asked.

 Brown is located in the cafeteria and here is where I finally get to explain my dislike of Ayase. In the cafeteria Brown is desperately trying to calm down Toro who's gone crazy and is planning on eating every last scrap of food and watching everyone else starve as revenge for Ayase turning down his love confession. Actually that's putting it lightly, she pretty much smashed his self-esteem to pieces by essentially saying he's a boring, sloven, disgusting, gluttonous waste of skin with all the charm of a ten day old roadside skunk carcass. Then she makes the dumbest comment she could say in this situation by asking if the truth really hurt that much, do you see why I hate her? She just throws her comments out into the either without taking even the slightest consideration that her words might come off as callous and mean-spirited and she doesn't even know that what she says is so destructive.

So if I were to put her on the old Bastometer (TM) she'd be between Cartman and Maleficent since she later admits that she can go too far and does direct her sharp tongue at people that deserve such bile.

This understandably make him completely lose his shit and unleashes his Persona on the five; Mara of the Tower Arcana.

Known as "The Evil One" in Buddhist mythology Mara is a tempter, through the deceit of regarding the mundane and negative as alluring, and personifies unwholesome impulses, unskillfulness, and the "death" of the spiritual life.

 (Also yes I know that this isn't what Mara looks like in the game I'm not going to show what it really looks like for obvious reasons so for those who are morbidly curious, just make sure you're at home before you look up what Mara looks like in the games.) However due to his warped mind state his Persona instead manifests as part of his body and not as a Spirit like the others' Personas. He manages to get off three attacks before Ayase discovers her Persona; Houri of the Magician Arcana.

Houri are mystical spirits that exist in heaven according to the teachings of Islam. The Houri are described as being modest, beautiful virgins that linger in Paradise. The Qur'an describes that anyone who enters paradise is promised a beautiful companion of their opposite gender (which refers to the houri) and becomes an houri.

Just like another fire wielding character affiliated with the Magician Arcana Ayase discovers that the only way to deal with an evil penis monster growing out of a fat kid; is to burn it!

 Following the advice of the greatest leader the Fire Nation has ever known she does indeed burn it which then causes Brown to waken to his Persona (which wasn't revealed yet in this series of events, remember in the main game he awakens to his Persona at the Police Station) with the two new Persona users they manage to calm Toro down. After they all compare notes Brown joins the group and now with their team of five Persona users they're ready to take on the three towers, defeat the three guardians, recover the Mirror Shards, save their teacher and exorcise the spirit of the Snow Queen Mask before the whole world becomes the nightmare world of Silent Hill Shattered Memories, sounds easy. But first just make sure you walk around the place, learn where everything is and make sure your equipment is up to snuff. Next time we'll talk about the towers and their guardians.

Shin Megami Tensai Persona is owned by Atlus and Sega.
The Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask is owned by Nintendo & Shigeru Miyamoto.
Jackie Chan Adventures is owned by Jackie Chan, The JC Group, Blue Train Entertainment, Adelaide Productions, Columbia TriStar Television and Sony Pictures Television.
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is propriety of Hirohiko Araki, David Production, Tokyo MX, Warner Bros Entertainment and Viz Media.
The Ren & Stimpy show is owned by Bob Camp, John Kricfalusi, Spümcø, Games Animation and Nickelodeon.
Venture Brothers is owned by Adult Swim, Williams Street, AstroBase GO!, World Leaders Entertainment, Noodlesoup Productions and Titmouse inc.
Grand Theft Auto IV is owned by Rockstar Games and Take-Two interactive.
South Park is owned by Matt Stone, Trey Parker and Comedy Central.
Sleeping Beauty (1959) is owned by Walt Disney, Walt Disney Productions and Buena Vista Distribution.
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Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Gaim Gaiden Zangetsu & Baron Part 2: Drive your funky soul!

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Part two of our double feature starts off with Kaito Kumon walking in the Helheim forest flashing back to the events of episode 21 where he joined up with Ryoma to find and kill the Overlord Demushu, the then theorized leader of the Helheim forest. Ryoma calls in to ask if Kaito's found anything; Kaito says he only found two things, jack and shit and jack left town. Ryoma apologizes for asking Kaito to do this on the anniversary of his dad's death, however Kaito tells him it's none of his business flashing back to what happened after his father sold his factory to Yggdrasil. Kaito doesn't hate Yggdrasil for what happened, what he hates is how weak he was at that time.

We then cut to... um Kaito acting like a complete wacko in a luxury hotel room.

Please stop smiling, you're killing more Kitties then the Puppies that die when Seto Kaiba smiles.

Yeah this mirror universe version of Kaito is named Shapool (or Shapur as the subtitles call him) the heir to a foreign country who's watching the early exploits of his doppelganger transforming into Baron.

"Sir I'm afraid that we are quite late for your Village People auditions as it is without stopping for cakes. Though I heard the owner might be someone as qualified for a part in the band as you sir."

This is Shapur's butler and yes before you can even make the joke, his name is in fact Alfred. Alfred tells Shapur that the cakes will have to wait since Shapur's father has told him to inspect Zawame. Alfred tells him not to be late and heads for the car, Shapur pouts as hard as he can while calling him a tightwad and I'm sorry I just can't get over seeing what looks like Kaito acting so damn goofy, it's waaaay too funny. Now before I get slammed with comments (though at this point I'd take any comments) yes I know that Shapur is played by Kaito's actor Yukata Kobayashi, in fact this is one of the positive points in this movie something I'll elaborate on later as Shapur makes his escape and runs into himself, I mean Kaito.

Kind of obvious which one is green screened. Though they can more then make up for it if they decide to recreate this scene.

Alas no, Shapur just starts annoying Kaito until he maces him and switches clothes leaving Kaito unconscious on the park bench in Shapur's clothes. Okay several questions come to mind here, first shouldn't Shapur knock Kaito out in a secluded location where there are less potential witnesses? I mean parks are pretty populated locations where people could easily spot this guy knocking someone out and switching clothes with him. For that matter, where did he change? Was it behind a bush, a park Bathroom or did he just decide to strip and change in public, I mean even in Japan, a country that sells used high-school girls panties (seriously) giving your twig and berries a breather in a public park can't possibly be the slightest bit legal. I mean people are clearly walking by the area in the following scenes!

Speaking of clothes, couldn't Shapur have just visited a tailor or a clothing store or something to recreate Kaito's outfit? If the point is to disguise yourself as your other-self, knocking them out is not exactly going to make your counterpart sympathetic to your situation dude! I mean money is clearly not an issue for you unless Alfred is handling all of the expenses and thus holds your spending money, but if not then don't be such a tightwad idiot! I'm not even going to get into the identity theft that this clearly brings up and just continue with this mess of a plot.

"And now for Bum Reviews, with Kaito Z Bum"

 Of course after being knocked out, left on a bench and having his clothes stolen Z Bum is pissed off but good. As for Shapur, he's prancing around like Tingle after spending the night with Dr Rockso and Kaito swears to hunt him down and skin him with a toenail clipper. Speaking of pissed off; Alfred and Shapur's father are livid since apparently Alfred was being paid to kill Shapur; by is own father! Yeesh maybe my Seto Kaiba joke was more on the nose then I thought.

But enough about this horrible premeditated child murder now is the time on Gaim where we dance!

Yeah Shapur found where Team Baron is dancing, he starts to dance like a maniac and the rest of Team Baron give looks like Kaito has lost his freaking mind. I mean these guys were handpicked by Kaito to be part of his dance troupe so of course they should be able to spot something wrong about their former leader, and Zach the guy that Kaito left leadership of Team Baron to should be able to see that something is wrong with him from miles away. Nope they just dance with him, Zach you have failed not only as leader of Team Baron but also as a practitioner of Hip-Hopakido. Now go to your room! Even when Kouta and Mai show up they notice that this thing that looks like Kaito should not be Kaito.

It's the kitty Apocalypse.

Who the hell are you?

But even then Mai and Kouta just dance with them anyway, chalking it up to Kaito finally pulling his banana spear out of his ass.

Yeah I honestly have to say this but at this point it needs to be said. Congratulations Japan, you now have yourself your very own iteration of this infamous scene. Take a bow and enjoy.

I'm sorry but it's true we've reached Emo Peter levels of out of character goofiness here, and just like Spider-Man 3 nobody can tell that something is off with Kaito. Even when "Kaito" takes Mai with him to Charmant for cake Kouta's all like "I kind of like him this way". Though personally I do too. Meanwhile with Captain Sourpuss Alfred's caught up with him and thinking that he's Shapur tases him and takes him back to the hotel to kill him. Meanwhile back with Shapur and Mai he's baking a cake in the kitchen, how does she not notice something off with this scenario I mean they, they don't just...... Oh lord I have to stop getting off track or I'll never get through this. So anyway, yeah Shapur is making Mai a cake, why, well most likely so Yukata can demonstrate his actual baking skills. Yeah apparently he's a really good baker, the things you find out about a person. Though, eh I'm curious, I'd try one, especially if it looks like the cake he made for Mai, much to Jonouchi's chagrin.

I never thought I'd say this but thank whoever is up there we're back to the Filicide plot. Kaito wakes up in the hotel room with his arms tied up. (Fan Girls that little thought for later was for you. <3) He overhears Alfred telling his two goons to fit Kaito for a pair of cement shoes thinking that he's Shapur. Kaito thinks that's the reason why Shapur switched with him and kicks the goons asses and ran off before telling Alfred he grabbed the wrong guy.

Back at the ranch Oren shows up and is none to thrilled that Joey just let "Kaito" use their Kitchen. He's about to tell Monsieur banane au revoir when he gets a call from Alfred (he even has the guitar riff played during his transformation as his ringtone) who wants to hire Oren to capture Shapur. But I'm guessing that Alfred only gave his physical description to Oren since he thinks that "Kaito" is actually Shapur, I mean he is but he thinks that Kaito Kumon is actually Shapur all along, which is more then a tad stupid. Point is Oren is after "Kaito" and transforms into Kamen Rider Bravo to fight him since he knows Kaito isn't one to go down without swinging.

After Mai tells him to transform Shapur pulls out the Sengoku Driver, but of course since Kaito had one of the original Prototype belts it's locked to his DNA so Shapur can't use it. Which should be a gigantic clue that he's not who he says he is. But Baron is stuck in moron mode and completely forgot when Ryoma told him about the differences in belts when he got his current custom mass production belt not four episodes before the chronological events of this special!

I'm not even half way through this special and I still have 20 or so minutes to go. So Zach shows up and transforms into Kamen Rider Knuckle to hold Bravo off while "Kaito" and Mai make tracks. That's when the real Kaito shows up and a few tiny sparks decide to go off in Mai's head and realizes that "Kaito" is an imposter. Kaito then grabs Shapur and drags him off no doubt to where he has the toenail clippers. Meanwhile we see Alfred meeting with Ryoma, so you know that something bad is about to go down.

You would in fact be right since the reason for the duo's trip was for Alfred to fund Ryoma's research in exchange for at least 500 Sengoku drivers since Alfred's boss knows that Helheim is coming and wants his family to be among the lucky few to survive. But Ryoma being the crafty bastard that he is picks up that Alfred has ulterior motives due to the amount of requested drivers. Alfred outright admits that he's going to sell the extra drivers to the highest bidders, usurp his boss and take over their country. Ryoma says that he likes that kind of sneakiness and gives Alfred a gift.

A Genesis Driver and the Prototype Dragon Fruit Energy Lockseed.

Ryoma of course is offended that Alfred thinks he can just use his research in his little money making scheme and is going to be using him as a test subject for the Dragon Fruit Energy Lockseed. Yeah free tip dude don't try to shyst a shyster. Back to the wonder twins the two swap back their clothes and Kaito takes back his driver. Shapur tries to apologize saying he just wanted to be free, but Kaito says he did it just to avoid being killed and fills him in on his father trying to kill him. Shapur tries to run when he hears cars but Alfred shows up and starts kicking his ass, saying that his father wants him dead and that he'll be killing him once he's done with Shapur and that he's going to be taking over the organization.

Kaito shows up to kick the goons asses and turns his attention to Alfred having flashbacks to being abused by his father in a drunken rampage and is going to kick Alfred's teeth in because he pisses him off. That's when Alfred takes off the kid gloves and pulls out his Genesis Driver and Lockseed.

Becoming Kamen Rider Tyrant.

Kaito then transforms into Baron and fights Tyrant. But since Baron is an Armored Rider and Tyrant is a New Generation Rider; Tyrant kicks Baron's ass before he switches to Mango Arms and reengages managing to overpower Tyrant so he and Shapur could retreat. Tyrant tries to run after them but the Genesis Driver starts to short-circuit forcing Alfred to power down. Later that night Kaito and Shapur swap back stories that Shapur was adopted since his father didn't have an heir to take over their organization. But since he now has a real son Shapur is just in the way.

As for Kaito he says that after his father sold their factory to Yggdrasil he regretted his decision, was tricked out of his money, started drinking then beat Kaito before killing his mom and then himself in a drunken rampage. Kaito then tells Shapur that the only thing worth trusting in the world is your own power.

Essentially that, Peko then shows up telling Kaito that Tyrant has been attacking Team Baron and abducted Zach to lure Kaito and Shapur out. Now it's personal, Kaito heads out to save Zach and finds him in the standard abandoned warehouse. Kaito then is attacked by Alfred head on, calling him out as the pathetic weakling that he is by just using his unearned power to attack those that are weaker then him. Alfred gives absolutely zero craps if he's a weakling and just as he's about to transform the Dragon Fruit Lockseed starts to sprout Helheim vines and turn him into an Inves.

Alfred still doesn't care and just demands Kaito hand over Shapur, Kaito says he'll gladly do it if he can beat him. Alfred transforms into Tyrant and starts his assault. Kaito transforms into Baron where the fight starts but leads into the dumbest sequence of the special. Baron knocks Tyrant into some debris where he comes out riding a dirt bike that comes out of nowhere, and no this isn't a Lock Vehicle, a normal fully functional dirt bike just happens to be in an abandoned warehouse all gassed up and ready to use. Not only this one but Baron just happens to find another one and the two just start riding their dirt-bikes.

I'm not kidding when I say that this sequence mainly consists of the two just doing stunts on their dirt-bikes, they don't even fight they just hop around doing stunts until the end of the sequence where Baron manages to knock off Tyrant. Do you know how long this sequence lasts? Approximately 1 minute and 21 seconds, yep the first minutes of this specials climax starts off with bike stunts. Look I know that Kamen Riders typically ride motorcycles but we don't want our final fight to mainly consist of bike stunts and only one actual attack done during said sequence, whoever was responsible for this scene needs to be sacked and hard.

Time to wrap this up; Tyrant takes a major hit from Baron and the Dragon Fruit Lockseed takes over him completely transforming him into an Overlord Inves. Baron gets completely overwhelmed by the Overlord when Yoko shows up to give him the Ringo Lockseed that Ryoma took from Touka.

He uses it and becomes Baron Ringo Arms.

With his new power Baron is easily able to go toe to toe with the overlord. Even when the Ringo Lockseed starts to infest him with Helheim's power Baron suppresses it with his own willpower. He then executes his Sparkling finisher and kills Tyrant once and for all. With this victory Baron powers down and destroys the Ringo Lockseed with his own hands. Our story ends with Kaito getting a letter from Shapur saying that he's going back to confront his father, Kaito visits his families grave swearing to obtain the power to destroy the world and Yoko watches from the shadows and sees something from Kaito.

A glimpse of the power that Kaito seeks.

So that was Gaim Gaiden Zangetsu and Baron. Zangetsu was the clear better of the two while Baron made my head hurt from all the stupid. Though Baron does have one saving grace and that's the performance of Yukata Kobayashi as both Kaito and Shapur. The contrast between the two personae really help to show his range. His performance and the silliness that comes with it save that part of the special from becoming unwatchable. Now on to more tasty meat for next time where we get more Gaim action by taking a look at Drive and Gaim's crossover movie. See you soon.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Yu-gi-oh! 5D's is owned by Katsumi Ono, Konami and Studio Gallop.
Spider-Man 3 is owned by Marvel Studios and Colombia Pictures.
Duck Soup is owned by Paramount Pictures and Groucho Marx.
Archer is owned by Adam Reed, Floyd County Productions, Radical Axis and FX Producions.
Zoolander is owned by Village Roadshow Pictures, VH1 Films and Paramount Pictures.
Electric Café is owned by Kraftwerk and Kling Klang Studios.
People Get Up and Drive Your Funky Soul is owned by James Brown, Tim Rogers, Cliff White and Polydor.
The Ren & Stimpy show is owned by Bob Camp, John Kricfalusi, Spümcø, Games Animation and Nickelodeon.
Conan the Barbarian (1982) is owned by Dino De Laurentiis Corporation and Universal Pictures.