Movie Review: Back to the Future 3 Part 1: NO YOU Think 4th Dimensionally!

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Yep buckaroos its time to wrap this trilogy up with Back to the Future 3. Now before I start I just want to address a mistake I made in the review of Back to the Future 2. The guy that played the chicken noises on his chest when Marty was in 2015 wasn't played by Billy Zane. I thought that since he was in the movie he would still be playing the same type of character but it turns out I should have checked the credits to see he was playing one of the goons in the alternate 1985. I goofed.

Now on to the business at hand. At the end of BTTF 2 Marty was stranded in 1955 due to lightning hitting the DeLorean so he decided to track down 1955 Doc to get help. So we cut to the 1955 Doc helping the first Marty get back to 1985 when our Marty shows up after the first Marty went back and tells Doc that he's back which causes Doc to pass out. Anybody else as confused as I am after that sentence? Good it's not just me and usually I can keep up with convoluted BS I mean I understand the storyline of Kingdom Hearts for christ's sake and I'm still struggling.

 After the opening credits we see Marty's taken Doc back to his home. After being woken by Howdy Doody Doc starts to record an audio log thinking the alternate Marty a dream and him waking up in his home was just temporary amnesia. Marty says otherwise causing Doc to freak out and after Marty explains what happened in an even shorter amount of time then I did he shows Doc the Letter that his future self sent Marty.

Dear Marty,

If my calculations are correct, you will receive this letter immediately after you saw the DeLorean struck by lightning. First, let me assure you that I am alive and well. I've been living happily these past eight months in the year 1885. The lightning bolt that hit the DeLorean caused a gigawatt overload which scrambled the time circuits, activated the flux capacitor, and sent me back to 1885. The overload shorted out the time circuits and destroyed the flying circuits. Unfortunately, the car will never fly again.

I set myself up as a blacksmith as a front while I attempted to repair the damage to the time circuits. Unfortunately, this proved impossible because suitable replacement parts will not be invented until 1947. However, I've gotten quite adept at shoeing horses and fixing wagons.

I have buried the DeLorean in the abandoned Delgado Mine, adjacent to the Old Boot Hill Cemetery, as shown on the enclosed map. Hopefully, it should remain undisturbed and preserved until you uncover it in 1955. Inside, you will find repair instructions. My 1955 counterpart should have no problem repairing it so that you can drive it back to the future. Once you have returned to 1985, destroy the time machine.

Do not — I repeat — do not attempt to come back here to get me. I am perfectly happy living in the fresh air and wide-open spaces, and I fear that unnecessary time travel only risks further disruption of the space-time continuum. And please take care of Einstein for me. I know that you will give him a good home. Remember to walk him twice a day, and that he only likes canned dog food. These are my wishes; please respect them and follow them.

And so Marty, I now say farewell and wish you Godspeed. You've been a good, kind, and loyal friend to me, and you've made a real difference in my life. I will always treasure our relationship and think on you with fond memories, warm feelings, and a special place in my heart.

Your friend in time,

"Doc" Emmett L. Brown.

September 1, 1885.

  Marty apologizes for the whole thing and letting Biff get to him, though Doc points out that there's worse places to end up then the old west. Though I beg to differ, in fact let's see how he is right now.

Yeah Marty and Doc might just want to make a pitstop before going back. The two blow up the sealed off mine and on the way down Doc recounts how reading the works of Jules Verne was what inspired him to take up the path of Science. The two find the Time Machine (amazingly still intact and not rusted away to a pile of scrap despite being in a dank cave for 70 years 2 months and 13 days) and the instructions to repair it. The two get a tow truck to get the Time Machine out as Doc gushes over his eventual retirement in the Old West when his dog Copernicus notices something.

 Marty sees it and screams out for Doc, they found Doc's Tombstone where he died September 7th 1885, shot in the back by Buford Tannen over a matter of 80 dollars. Erected in eternal memory by his beloved Clara Yep looks like the Spacetime continuum is still being a vindictive dick to these two one week after writing the letter the local Tannen killed him.

 The two then head for the Library and look up info on Tannen, who apparently was given the nickname "Maddog" due to his short temper and tendency to drool. However they can't find anything past 1884 due to Tannen shooting an editor who wrote an unfavorable story on him. They do find however evidence of Marty's family but no Browns. Doc says that historically his family wouldn't arrive in Hill Valley until 1908 when they were known as the Von Brauns. They find a picture of Future Doc on September 5th proving everything that's going to happen, so Marty decides to back to save him.

 The next day the Time Circuits are fixed and Marty's disguised as a circus clown to go back and save Doc.

Wait that's supposed to be his old west outfit?

You know it's  pretty damn sad when this guy looks like he could fit in 1885 better then Marty. 

Doc reassures him that this is what everybody wears in westerns. Not sure what western he's seen well no choice but to take his word I guess. So the Time Machine is all gassed up, Marty's future clothes are packed, fresh batteries for the walkie talkie and the Hoverboard is packed along too. Doc tells him that their location is wide open unsettled terrain and that there's a cave nearby that should be perfect for storing the Time Machine, all Marty has to do is get to 88mph and the rest is up to him. Marty is concerned about hitting the indians on the wall but Doc just tells him to think 4th dimensionally as soon as he hits 88mph he'll be back in time and the indians won't even be there. So Marty hits 88mph and avoids crashing into the indians on the wall, only to nearly crash into real ones! Ah the Time Space continuum is so wacky.

 Marty just barely manages to avoid them and makes his way to the cave, however he discovers two problems, one an arrow managed to pierce the fuel line and two the cave has a big Bear in it! He manages to get away but lost his boots in the process as well as falling down a slope and hitting his head on a fence near the McFly farm where his ancestor Seamus McFly takes him in to recuperate. That night he wakes up being tended to by his ancestor Maggie McFly where he introduces himself as Clint Eastwood. She then goes to take care of her baby boy, Marty's great grandfather William. Seamus shows up with dinner and asks how Marty ended up there and after Marty gives as much as he can and Seamus allows him to stay the night in the barn and will take him to the railroad tracks that lead into town as well as give him a hat.

 The next day Marty arrives at Hill Valley and once again explores the town, bewildered at the unfamiliarity of the setting. He makes his way to the saloon and asks for where Doc is when a certain thug comes a knock'n. Maddog Tannen and his gang who are also looking for Doc. After some shenanigans involving Michael Jackson and a spittoon Marty is nearly hung by Maddog at the construction site of the Courthouse where Doc saves him by shooting the rope hanging him with a super precise custom sniper-rifle. Tannen says Doc owes him 75 dollars for improperly shoeing his horse and 5 dollars for a destroyed bottle of Kentucky redeye whiskey.

 Doc says thats his problem since Tannen never paid him for the job anyway. Tannen however tells Doc to watch himself because one day he's going to get a bullet in his back. Afterwords Doc takes Marty back to his workshop where we'll pick up next time.

Back to the Future is owned by Robbert Zebecks, Bob Gale, Stephen Spielberg, Amblin Entertainment  and Universal Studios.
One Million Ways to Die in the West is owned by Seth McFarland, Fuzzy DoorProductions, Media Rights Capital, Bluegrass Films and Universal Pictures.
Ultima IX: Ascension is owned by Electronic Arts, Origin Systems, and Richard Garriot AKA Lord British.
Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.

Tokusatsu Review: Ressha Sentai Toqger Vs Kyoryuger The Movie Part 1: Valiant Vision.

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 This movie is going to be a problem, as you may or may not know I have, well a definitive opinion of Toqger. But I don't want to look like a psychotic lunatic describing my feelings about Toqger, so I will leave my good friend Silky Johnson, a true trained and learned hater to give my feelings about the 38th Super Sentai.

 A true hater; one that I hope and fear will become someday. But I've gone on record long enough about my hatred of these unimaginative morons; time to talk about their predecessors; Zyuden Sentai Kyoryuger. They're the strongest braves in history who fought against the Deboss army, an army of monsters that caused the extermination of the Dinosaurs millions of years ago. In the modern day they tried to revive their master Deboss by gathering emotional energy from people. I think Kyoryuger was an okay series, but the complaints I have with it are pretty much the same as everyone else, too much focus on Daigo especially when this team had a roster of TEN RANGERS that the extra development could have gone to but it wasn't because reasons, way too much explosions (thank you Sakamoto) and the show in general was a bit too goofy for my taste.

 I'll get into this more when I decide to talk about the first eight episodes of Kyoryuger's adaptation Power Rangers Dino Charge but I'm definitely liking Dino Charge more then Kyoryuger. So for right now let's see how these two teams mix and if I have to hurl afterwords from digesting the concoction. We open in space where Lady, a character from Toqger's other movie "Galaxy Line SOS" (also I see the Thomas the Tank Engine reference you made by naming her "Lady" nice try) reports to the Rainbow line that a Galaxy Line station has been attacked by a mass of green energy and both are on a collision course with the earth. So our army of Tom Hanks wannabees transform and head to the crash site to see what exactly caused the station to crash, discovering Zorimas and Cambrimas the foot solders and elite foot solders of the Deboss army emerging from the green energy seeping from the crashed station. The team tries to fight them off but their attack do jack all against them. Kagura is about to be killed by a Zorima until a certain duo shows up.

Yep the return of Daigo (Kyoryu Red) and Amy (Kyoryu Pink)

 The two veterans easily take care of the goons while Tokatti and Kagura wonder who they are. Um you two should know at least half of that question since, oh wait that movie never happened never mind. The two then get saved by Nossan (Kyoryu Blue) from the grunt, but not from his puns.

 Yep, Nossan absolutely loves these word puns, at least the guys at Tv Nihon did the translations as best as they could and explained what this highball joke was so it didn't go completely over our heads. But still just because I have to, here's the clip just out of principal.

 Mio then gets saved by Ian (Kyoryu Black) while Souji (Kyoryu Green) one of the least developed characters in Kyoryuger saves Hikari, my favorite Toqger and who I think is the real leader of the group. As the Kyoryugers do their literally explosive introduction they inadvertently pull a Ziggy from RPM and catch the Toqgers in their back explosion sending them flying. HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, eh that's just plain old fashioned funny for several reasons, not the least of which showing how incompetent the Toqgers are. Hell the first 15 minutes of this movie seems to be dedicated to doing just that, and I am more then happy with that. Yeah I know the cardinal rule of any team up is to not make one faction look better then the other, but if the one that looks bad is Toqger I soooooooooooooo don't care. So while the train twits lick their burn marks the Kyoryugers clean house with the grunts.

Right, why is it that almost every time you open your mouth you say something stupid?

 The Kyoryugers try to get to the station but are stopped by a green force field. Unfortunately like the Kyoryuger series itself the other members of the team search for a way to break the shield leaving Daigo to get all of the character interaction with the Toqgers. Really? The rest of the team didn't think to ask the Toqgers what they know about the situation and compare notes to hopefully find out what caused this; especially since this is tied into their group and network of allies? Oh wait there goes me and my logic again. Yeah why would we want to see the primary members of this team up bounce off of each other and get interesting character interactions based off of how different and similar they are?

 Who would want to watch that? Heh heh, oy vey. Anyway after Daigo shows off his new haircut the Toqgers start asking Daigo questions which Conductor wants answered immediately and brings them on the trains so Daigo can explain it all. Also, yes Daigo can see and board the trains, because he has imagination.

 Sorry but I have to do that everytime Toqger mentions Imagination, yeah that part still pisses me off and you should too. After more dialogue that causes brain tumors with every period Daigo explains that the station was brought down by Devius, the being responsible for creating Deboss and thus the Deboss army. Speaking of which Devius' henchman; Salamas is meeting with Zett and the rest of the Shadow Line to ask for help keeping the two Sentai teams off his back while Devius gains a physical form.

Wait a minute, this looks familiar. Oh god Devius is a Pillar Man! This might explain what happened to Kars after Joseph sent him into space. He got sent through a worm hole into this universe, was converted into a mass of energy and using his powers as the Ultimate Life form, created Deboss as a means to conquer the universe!

 And in exchange they'll help Zett kill the Toqgers. Zett agrees and decides to loan Salamas a Shadow Kaijin. Salamas thanks Zett by kissing his robe which caused Morc to attack him for stepping out of line. After hearing the situation from Daigo the Toqgers offer their help but Daigo refuses pointing out how their weapons and attacks were useless against the grunts. He also senses something about them, something childish that he doesn't want to put in danger. Daigo then does a dine and dash as he JUMPS OUT OF THE MOVING TRAIN AND LANDS WITHOUT A SCRATCH! Right, not one to listen to reason, sound advice or anything that doesn't come from his own noise hole decides that they're going to fight Devius anyway, even though they know that their weapons and attacks can't hurt him and his creations.

 While everyone tries to keep Right under control we cut to Utchy (Kyoryu Gold) waiting for Daigo at the train station. Our movie exclusive monster shows up with some Kuros; the Shadow Line's foot solders and after a silly little exchange Utchy tries to fight off the forces.

The decorated decorum devoted dunce in the middle is Clock Shadow.

 However just like when the Toqgers couldn't hurt the Deboss grunts with their weapons, Utchy's sword can't cut it with the Shadow Line grunts either. Thankfully the other Toqger that I can stand, Akira shows up to help Utchy fend off the Kuros. After a pointless scene of Right making a right ass out of himself we cut back to the fight where Clock Shadow starts, well pretending he's a clock striking 12, Akira warns Utchy to run and not listen to him sing, Utchy of course refuses to run, the Toqgers then show up and Clock Shadow starts singing again forcing Akira to summon the Build Ressha to get them all to retreat. Clock Shadow orders the Kuros to go after them, when a certain group of gaudy Ninjas show up, and no one of them isn't Pierre Kirby; it's the Ninningers. Yep as is tradition now with these crossover movies we get a preview/showcase of the next seasons Sentai, though they usually come in near the end of the movie.

 So yeah this an odd change of pace but a good one in my opinion. So for the next five minutes we get the Ninningers destroying all the Kuros and chasing Clock Shadow off, but not before he summons a Kurainer to squash them. Instead of summoning their Otomo Nin they instead use a Nin Shuriken that they just pulled out of their ass (so far not sure if this will actually be introduced in the show as of 5/6/15) to shrink the Kurainer to human size so they can finish it off with their finishing attack.

"Dad, the movie's talking to me again" "I'll fire up the electroshock machine."

 After Deadpool found his new targets for stealing his schtick we cut back to the Toqgers who have now been turned into kids, or rather restored to normal. As for Utchy, well.....

BABY!

 Yeah it turns out that Clock Shadow has the ability to age regress a person; the longer they listen to his clock impression the farther back they go. Wait hold on, the longer the victim is exposed to the effects the younger they become. The one who has this power is weird, malicious and works for a guy who is viewed as the embodiment of pure evil.

 OH GOD GET AWAY! The fact that Clock Shadows voice actor Masaya Onosaka is also the voice actor for Alessi does not help matters at all, in fact the little voice in my head is telling me that this casting choice and Clock Shadow's powers was made as an intentional reference. Ugh anyway Akira says that Clock Shadow's powers don't work on other Shadows and that's why he's fine. With the Toqgers occupied with Chibichi the Kyoryugers are trying to get to Devius, with no success, Daigo then summons Gabutyra to take a crack at it, however Kurainers show up to reinforce the barrier with darkness, so even with Gabutyra they can't get in. Akira calls the Kyoryugers to show them what happened to Utchy and the Toqgers.

GET IT?! Yeah I can't honestly believe they went there.

 Ugh this whole review is getting squicky. What makes me feel even more uncomfortable is the fact that RIGHT of all people comes to the realization that the team's respective powers don't work on the other teams enemies. So for Devius to be stopped both teams have to work together. Clock Shadow shows up with an army of Kuros, Zorimas and Cambrimas. The Kyoryugers transform to protect the kids, however Right and the other kids can still transform and do so.

Couldn't we have these Toqgers instead?

 Now time for me to explain something about my hatred for Toqger. Everyone I've seen defending this show says that "they're kids in adult bodies what do you expect of course they're going to be annoying, kids are annoying." Yeah I get that but here's the thing, the show says that the team are kids in adult bodies, but for me, it comes off as the leads being adults that are acting like children, and there is a gigantic difference. We know that kids more often enough do indeed act like the Toqgers, but again the problem is that as far as we can tell Adults are acting like Children! Do you get where I'm coming from?

 But to be perfectly honest, for the rest of the movie where the Toqgers are kids, they are 1000 more tolerable for me. If the team from the start were portrayed by child actors this show would have fared far better in my eyes. I mean say what you will about Kou from Dairanger, Riki from Ohranger or Justin from Power Rangers Turbo at least when they were Rangers they were still kids in their civilian forms, you could have done what those shows or even Beetleborgs did, have the child actors and just have them grow to adult proportions when they transform, or even switch to more grown up voices while they're transformed so there won't be any scheduling conflicts with their schoolwork or whatever. Because from what little I've seen here these kids should have been the main heroes of the show, that change would have removed at least 50% of my rage at this show and make Right far more tolerable as a character, because this behavior is more tolerable from a kid then a grown ass adult. Also it seems that Right is acting more mature as a kid then he was as an adult. Okay, rant over.

YOU LEAVE THOSE CHILDREN ALONE YOU MONSTER!

I have Chris Hanson and I'm not afraid to use him.

 So the two teams on Right's suggestion swaps their power totems with their opposite number, the Toqgers give the Kyoryugers their Resshas and the Kyoryugers give their Zyudenchi batteries, with the totems inserted (somehow) into their respective devices the fight is on. Akira would have joined in on this but, well he still has Chibichi to look after. And the core swap worked, as the combined forces can hurt both groups of foot solders now.

OH GOD NOT THAT THING AGAIN!

 Great, that's just what this movie needed, the return of the unholy love child of Majin Buu and a dumpling. Long story go watch episode 15 to see the context behind this stupid looking abomination. So after, that the grunts are gone and all that's left is the mechanized Don Patch. Meanwhile the Shadow Line chew out Salamas for his plan going pear shaped. Salamas however lives up to his name and sets Castle Terminal on fire, yeah that part of Zetts cape he kissed? Yeah apparently that was him planing the "fuse" as it were for his pyrokinetic abilities. So he torches the place, steals some Kurainers and makes tracks. The two teams combine their powers to destroy Clock Shadow, but before he can grow Salamas steals the darkness and grows, fusing five Kuros with him to make,

THIS UNGODLY STUPID LOOKING THING!

 I mean come on, are you kidding me with this thing? Look I get what they were going for, mixing a train with a dragon. I know that dragons were often grouped together with Salamanders in European mythology and modern depictions of Salamanders often cast them as being associated with fire and I guess the producers wanted to mix the themes of the two villain groups together but come on!  There's mixing and matching and then there's taking two puzzle pieces from completely different sets and slamming them together until they kind of fit. So the teams summon their mechs, fire their lasers at Salamas, and they can't aim for crap. Salamas somehow manages to survive the initial assault so the team summon their strongest mechs ToQ Rainbow and Gigant Kyoryujin to destroy Salamas. With his destruction the Toqgers and Utchy grow to their adult forms again.

 However they're too late, Devius has awakened and just with a single laser blast nearly destroys both mechs forcing the teams to retreat. Next time we conclude this movie and I give my final thoughts.

Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Chappelle's Show is owned by Dave Chappelle, Comedy Central, MGM Television and Comedy Partners.
Batman: The Animated Series is owned by Dc Comics, Warner Brothers and Paul Dini.
Ultima IX: Ascension is owned by Electronic Arts, Origin Systems, and Richard Garriot AKA Lord British.
Deadfall is owned by Tristar Pictures and Christopher Coppola. 
The Tick: The Animated Series is propriety of  Hank Tucker, Sunbow Entertainment, Graz Entertainment, Fox Children’s Productions and Disney Media Distribution 
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is propriety of Hirohiko Araki, David Production, Tokyo MX, Warner Bros Entertainment and Viz Media. 
To Catch a Predator is owned by NBC Studios. 
Monty Python and the Holy Grail is owned by Terry Gilliam, Terry Jones, Python (Monty) Pictures and EMI films. 

Tokusatsu Review Kamen Rider Taisen: Part 6: The end of pain?

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

Where we last left off Fifteen was fighting against Wizard who uses his Bind spell to try and hold down Fifteen. Fifteen however switches to Wizard arms and easily breaks through it. Fourze backs up Wizard, however Fifteen just switches to Fourze arms and continues to pound the two, even with W and Decade the four Riders get smacked down by Fifteen, finishing them all at once by switching to Decade arms. Gaim calls out Fifteen, Fifteen decides to stop screwing around and switches to Gaim arms, to accept the final one on one fight. Porcupine-Roid is firing on several Riders, however Baron, Ryugun Kiwi arms and Zangetsu-Shin show up for a rematch.

Yeah, I'm keeping that spoiler to myself.

After that bit of hilarious hindsight the three Armored Riders over power Porcupine-Roid and destroy that rejected Predacon. Meanwhile the spirits of the dead are terrorizing the civilians, one of which decides to interrupt Faiz.

Nobody gives a shit about you, Kusaka!

But for some reason Faiz does. Skullasaurus in the mean time knocks out Gabutyra when, NO NO NO!

Yep; they show up. Ressha Sentai ToQuger. I, absolutely HATE THIS SERIES! I could go into further details, but to sum up at least 50% of my complaints of ToQuger, it would be because of this guy!

SHUT UP RIGHT, YOU STUPID JAPANESE JUSTIN BIEBER!

You ever have that one character that for some ungodly reason you cannot stand the sight off? Right is that guy for me. He is my Tidus, my Shinji Akari, my Lamar Davis, my Roman Bellic, my Chris Brown! Just the one character that for what ever reason whenever you see him, he just sends you into pure, unreasonable rage! You want to know why? Then just watch ToQuger to find out for yourself. Though at the time of this post ToQuger isn't over yet so I will wait until it's finished to give this show the beatdown it may or may not deserve. Anyway the ToQuger transform and summon their mech ToQ-Oh.

And the thing looks terrible.

One of my biggest complaints for ToQuger is that designs for the Heroes, from their suits to the majority of their Mechs looks horribly lazy, and for the the Sentai that is themed on "imagination" that is a very big problem. ToQ-Oh is just five trains lined up side by side. Now for this movie, the big bad, the Generalissimo of Badan do you think that he should be destroyed by the Kamen Riders, the enemy he's been trying to destroy and vice-versa? Nah, just give that honor to the Sentai members that only showed up at the last 20 minutes of the movie.

Anyway, while the ToQugers hold off the walking Jurassic Park logo we shift back to the fight between Gaim and Fifteen. Fifteen is of course giving Gaim delicious pain and screaming "Who's your daddy?" Gaim of course doesn't know the safety word. Ichigo then throws Gaim a Lockseed that he literally pulls out of his ass!

What else does it look like?

He literally, pulled that out of his ass!

With that horrifying nightmare fuel out of my head Gaim then transforms into his movie exclusive from. Kamen Rider Gaim Ichigo(#1) arms.

Strike a pose ya'll!

We then cut from this moment of awesome to ZX pointing out that the Mega Reverse Machine is almost finished! All the Riders capable of flight go to intercept and destroy it. Decade manages to get to where Shuu is strapped into the device, freeing him. With Shuu freed and out of harms way, the Riders are now free to go all out! X and Wizard Infinity Style prepare to fire when they are intercepted by Faiz, who blocks their attacks forcing the three to power down. Haruto asks what the hell Takumi was thinking, him saying that his friend is coming back to life and that he doesn't think that's a bad thing! You really weren't paying attention today were you? If that thing finishes, you are all dead, but I guess it's all worth it to bring back a despicable, irredeemable asshole right dude?

                            
But Haruto mentioned the bit of continuity I brought up in his and Gaim's crossover movie about Koyomi coming back as an evil mage, but Takumi is still stuck in moron mode which Jin thankfully tries to bring him out of by delivering a nasty right hook.

Let's see you grit those teeth!

After that blow of common sense Jin tells him to stop obsessing over the past and live for the future. Of course this doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense given Kusaka and Takumi's relationship which I disused earlier. Haruto then gives his last hope spiel when the ghost of assholes past shows up again.

I am a Shadow, the true self! Can't you just die already?

A real friend right? Takumi flashes back to Jin treating the hostage takers' wound back at the dinner and tells Shadow Kusaka to piss off. Where he then gets his Persona in the form of Faiz Blaster Mode as Haruto and Jin transform with him and blast away Kusaka, good riddance to bad rubbish. The three then lead the charge as the remaining Kamen Riders use their Rider Kicks to penetrate the exterior of the Badan base. Once inside, we see Wizard Infinity Style, X and Faiz Blaster Mode use their strongest attacks to annihilate the base and the Mega Reverse Machine. With the machine destroyed and the spirits gone, all that's left is to clean up the stragglers. ToQ-Oh gets knocked down, Daigo telling Gabutyra to show his bravery. That has Gabutyra transform into the Kyouryuger Ressha.

You know what? I don't care. I just don't care.

Then the Den-Liner shows up. Now, don't get me wrong I like Den-O, hell Den-O is my very first Kamen Rider series that I finished. But I can't stand how Toei keeps bringing back Den-O like this. Because, just like Pyramid Head in Silent Hill, Den-O got popular, so popular that Toei just, won't, let him die! Den-O's series was good, as well as the three main movies. But since Decade, Toei has been pimping Den-o out like a Brothel with terrible movie after terrible movie and pointless and harmful use after pointless and harmful use. Also, ever since "Let's Go Kamen Rider", every time Den-O is involved in a movie, and he has a speaking role the plot goes down like a cheap call-girl. However this time doesn't count since Den-O and ToQuger are both train themed, so this does make sense to me. (Also Den-O and ToQuger were written by the same person, making even more sense.) Anyway the three combined their mechs into the movie exclusive mess that is ToQ-Oh Kyouryuujin.

Because Zebras!

With this, unholy chimera the ToQugers finishes off the Generalissimo with every other Den-O train, including Zeronos' train. Whatever, the big bad is dead, now to end this thing by finishing off Fifteen. Gaim calls him out by asking how can he even care about Shuu wants if he doesn't even care what he wants? Fifteen says that even if his wish was granted, it still wouldn't make up for the pain of his death.

A: Hey dude, I've been there, do you need someone to talk too? B: Come on, suck it up Cupcake.

Gaim goes for a bit of both telling Fifteen that he's just running from his problems. He finally finishes Fifteen with his Ichigo squash Rider Kick which destroys not only the Fifteen Lockseed but Fifteen's Sengoku driver. Now that the driver is gone I have to call him by his actual name Ren. Gaim tells Ren that he'll never escape his pain unless he faces it. Shuu and the rest of the riders show up with Shuu starting to fade into light. Shuu then tells everyone to tell those who are alive that their futures are bright. Kid you are not in a Mr Japan Jr competition, can the shmaltz.

I, I can't make fun here. I really do feel for this scene.

Gaim asks if there is a way to grant Shuu's wish. Decade said that Ichigo and the rest of the Shōwa Riders should be able to do it if they combine their powers.

And what happened, then? Well, in the world of Riders they say - that Ichigo's small heart grew three sizes that day. And then - the true meaning of Christmas came through, and Ichigo found the strength of *ten* Riders, plus two!

But we already saw the power of Merchandising!

With your powers combined I am Captain Planet!

Thankfully instead of that cheesy Silver Surfer clone showing up the Riders instead teleport Shuu to the lighthouse so he can say goodbye to his mom and dad.

"thump" "thump" That hits me right where I live.

Saki: Ren Aoi, where the hell have you been? Ren: Well honey the good news is it didn't involve alcohol. The bad news was, that it did involve an evil organization trying to merge the Neitherrealm with Earthrealm to bring our son back. Saki: You're sleeping on the couch for a month! Ren: I know.

So, now the bad guys are defeated, the kid gave his parents his final good bye and we can all go home and.

AAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHH!

Stay tuned for the last part of this nightmare and my final thoughts about the movie.

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Deadfall is owned by Tristar Pictures and Christopher Coppola  
Silent Hill Downpour is owned by Vatra games and Konami Computer Entertainment
Ultima IX: Ascension is owned by Electronic Arts, Origin Systems, and Richard Garriot AKA Lord British.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 is owned by Joel Hodgson,  Best Brains, Syfy, Comedy Central and Shout Factory.
Dragon Ball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT is owned by Funnimation, Toei animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.
Dragonball Z abridged is owned by Team Four Star. 

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Taisen Part 2: The Quickening

This is just plain cute, right at the fifteen minute mark of this movie do we get the first introduction to Kamen Rider Fifteen. Just, plain, cute. Though onto a more positive note I do like the look of Fifteen. Just a simple black and silver color scheme with a skeletal design and a white mane on his helmet with the kanji for Fifteen on the front of the helmet, simple but effective. Fifteen demands Shuu before fighting Gaim, okay I shouldn't say fight more like Smackdown! Fifteen proves to be damn strong, easily able to block Gaims sword attacks with his bare hands and sending him flying with one blow to his chest. Fifteen then ups the ante by summoning a giant bone sword, Zangetsu Shin shows up to tag out for Gaim and fight Fifteen on his own. But not even Zangetsu is enough to stop this guy. To make things even worse Fifteen then pulls out a Lockseed.

Don't even ask me how he got that!

This is the Heisei rider Lockseed which allows Fifteen to use the arms form of any Heisei Kamen Rider. He then transforms into Wizard arms and blows Zangetsu right out of the ballpark. Ryugun tries to help but he and Baron get blasted away by Porcupine-Roid. Gaim could barely hit Fifteen before but now he can't even touch him, not even switching to Jimber Lemon arms helps. Gaim just barely manages to keep an even pace with Fifteen, but then Porcupine-Roid fires on Gaim. Just to make things even worse Ichigo shows up again with Nigo (Kamen Rider 2) and V3.

Evil Kenevil can kiss our asses!

The trio then drive straight though Porcupine-Roid and stop to basically tell Gaim "this is our fight, piss off noob." they then fight against Porcupine-Roid and Fifteen. Gaim isn't one to take their crap but Shuu and Mai are cornered by Tiger-Roid, so Gaim has to save them. Tiger-Roid fires his Tiger Bomber attack but Shuu manages to save them with his reversal powers.

Better luck next time Batman! WOO HOO!

 Underground, Kouta powers down and Shuu is exhausted from overexerting his powers and passes out. Kouta and Mai take Shuu to Drupers to recuperate. One wonders why they would take an amnesiac, injured kid to a Parfait shop instead of a hospital, but there goes me and my logic again. Though to be fair the entire city is under attack and the hospitals might be on the first of Badan's list of targets, plus they might be filled with people injured from the initial assault; so an unsuspecting cafe like this would seem the safer option. Plus they went to Drupers so that the plot could dump Tsukasa there to meet with Kouta and deliver exposition and greetings.

Probably the only time I want something related to Decade.

Ok hold on a second. Who made that Parfait? I mean, I know that this isn't on the regular menu, especially with that specific design. Is it a make your own Parfait special that day? Did Tsukasa order that design in advance? How did Bando know that Decade was coming in order to make that specifically designed dish, did he call them? Did Tsukasa look up Drupers online to learn their phone number? Did he send a picture of the Decade helmet so Bando knows how to design that Parfait? Oh wait for that matter, why is Tuskasa here? How long was he there waiting for Kouta to show up? If he was in Gaims world, why the hell did he just hang around here instead of helping Gaim fight against Badan?

THE F*** DID I SAY ABOUT THINKING TOO HARD?

Ah, right, ahem any-who, Kouta recognizes Tsukasa just as Tsukasa recognizes Shuu, yet he doesn't know who Shuu is, just that he's related to the alternate world, Badan attacking and the veteran Riders becoming active. So Tsukasa figures that's what his job in this world is. Kouta asks if Tsukasa knows what Shuu is supposed to do, but Tsukasa doesn't know, just saying that whatever it is, it needs to be done, even if it leads to the worlds destruction. What? Okay, dude I know that you're the destroyer of worlds and all, but that doesn't mean that everyone else is going to be on board, unless they're at Legato Bluesummers' levels of Nihilistic. And a certain someone agrees with me. They hear the trademark line of DAMN YOU DECADE!

Frau Blücher (Neiiiigh)

Yep it's our Judas Traveler stand in Narutaki and, he's shrunken.

Now remember Tsukasa, give a little whistle and always let your conscience be your guide.

Jiminytaki then explains about how Badan is carrying on Shockers will and is amassing an army of dead monsters to take over the world, and that in order to stop them they must gather the other Heisei Kamen Riders. Okay, I have some more questions, chief among them is; why is Narutaki helping Tsukasa? Last time I checked Narutaki hated Tsukasa's guts, and last time Tsukasa saw this guy, he was leading Dai-Shocker as the new Doctor G in Super Hero Taisen, actively trying to kill Tsukasa! He also did the same thing in Decade and Doubles movie war, where he lead Super-Shocker as Colonel Zol. Also there is that lovely fan theory floating around that suggests Narutaki is the latest form of the Great Leader of Shocker, which actually makes sense given his previously mentioned transformation powers, his awfully telling carrier path, and his hatred for the Kamen Riders. So, logically, shouldn't he be trying to stop Tsukasa and the other riders from succeeding? Isn't Badan taking over the world a good thing for him? Also why did he show up tiny when he then jump-cuts himself to normal size? On one last note, Tsukasa, given their relationship and history should have precisely zero reason to believe one thing that this asshole says! Most likely course of action would have been to stab that fork into Narucricket and swallow him whole, regardless of indigestion. Okay, rant over for now. Tsukasa then asks the million dollar question, why not ask the older riders as well? Given that he hasn't been around for those scenes I'm willing to let that slide. Narutaki says the two groups of Riders can't mix.

 Shōwa and Heisei riders have worked together hundreds of times before this point! Ugh anyways Narutaki tells him to place his hand on his heart and search within. Like he was discovering his Animality or some nonsense. With that pile of stupidity done with Narutaki teleports away. Now this could be Narutaki trying to hinder Tsukasa by sewing mistrust between him and the Shōwa Riders, especially when Kouta eventually tells him about Ichigo's attitude and earlier statements. I'm also just going to assume that Narutaki was in the background watching those interactions so I could forgive that for now, what I can't let slide is what Kouta says next!

                                                   




                                
Now, forgive me for making assumptions here writers, but; ahem, Kouta, is Japanese, right? Okay, we've established that, so logically; he should know what these terms are, what they mean and how they apply to the history of his country. Again, just making assumptions here. But I may be mistaken for believing that Japanese people know what these clearly Japanese terms mean, my mistake. What I am trying to convey, ever so subtly is that he should know what in the name of Odin's eye socket what these terms mean! I'm going to assume that Kouta is at least 23 in this movie and has most likely heard these terms in school, and from what I can tell of the Japanese educational system they would have most likely drilled this into his head if he was a part of that 94% of Junior high students that did move on to their high school education. This movie, was clearly made for a Japanese audience, so the audience might have heard those terms at least once or twice and I can only assume that the audience members who saw this in theaters, who knew those terms meant, must have collectively slapped their hands against their heads when Kouta said that line. To make sure we are all on the same page, Kouta asking "What is Heisei and Shōwa ?" would have been like a Scotsman asking what haggis is!

Whatever! After that; question Tsukasa says that he doesn't need to know

and that he should just go get the Heisei riders so we can start the cameos already! How? By doing what Tsukasa did by meeting and persuading them. Yeah, remember what happened last time you tried that? Oh yeah it turned out to be the wrong thing and nearly wound up destroying causality! Funny how continuity works! Of course Kouta is in no shape to go anywhere right now and Tsukasa decides to gather the riders for him, with Kaito coming along.

No not that one, you silly goose.

I mean Kaito Kumon aka Baron, why? So he can get stronger of course, like he has any other reason for doing anything else. So Tsukasa and Kaito are off, using the drawing that Shuu made as a guide, which not only leads them to one of the Heisei riders, but to someone who can help Shuu with his memories. Two birds in one stone.

More like two minds in one Rider!

Yep their first stop is to Futo to check in on Shotaro Hidari aka half of Kamen Rider Double. We see our half-boiled hero trying to be a hard boiled badass, but once again ends up looking like a complete goober. The more things change, eh? Kaito is of course skeptical about hiring this guy, and Shotaro is involved in a big case already. However Tsukasa is willing to help. Shotaro tells them he has three targets; first, finding a lost dog, second a lost cat and finally, a lost turtle. Kaito is not exactly happy about this, questioning if Shotaro is a detective or just wasting his time. Shotaro replies that he never turns down a job from a client in Futo, even the smallest job. Keep that in mind for later. Tsukasa tells Shotaro that he and Kaito will catch the turtle, in response Shotaro tells them that he'll hear them out once the job is done. So now it's off to the next rider. Their next stop takes them to Kikuchi laundromat where Inui Takumi aka Kamen Rider 555 calls home. Tsukasa tells him about Badan and Takumi tells him to hit the bricks because he's too busy with laundry and that he's going on a journey anyway. That journey is cut short when Takumi gets attacked by Porcupine and Tiger-roids. Then Tsukasa shows up and transforms into Decade to intercept the beast bots. Takumi holds his Faiz gear, thinking about transforming but hesitates when he has a flashback.

Oh we'll get to this later.

 Decade then tells Takumi that the world of Riders is kill or be killed and that's he can tell he's sick of the bloodbath. Decade seems to be holding his own but then Fifteen shows up again and starts beating the destroyer of worlds like he owes him money. Fifteen starts demanding where Shuu is but of course Decade ain't talking. Decade retreats with his invisibility card. We cut to Kaito about to capture the turtle when Shotaro accidentally cuts him off while chasing the dog.

The face of pure, epic fail.

We then cut from that pointless gag to Takumi eating lunch and of course complaining that the food is too hot. Suck it up dude. Then a guy barges into the restaurant and takes a school girl hostage, of course! The police show up with a S.W.A.T team to surround the place, while the guy the girl was sitting with offers to treat the wounds of the hostage taker, who is pointing a gun at his dining guests head!

Check out the stones on this guy!

Now this is important for later. But Grandpa Badass M.D just calmly tells the guy that unless the wound is treated it'll get worse and that no harm will come to him, not from him or the cops. He even beats up the S.W.A.T team members when they throw in a smoke bomb under the cover of the smoke. Way to jump the gun Reynolds!

You and me both dude.

Doc Grandpa Badass asks the hostage taker if he has any kids and that if he does he shouldn't disappoint them and that the greatest duty for adults is to protect the children's future. AH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH! No I'm not laughing at the scene itself or that line, I actually like this scene but what I'm really laughing at will be brought up later when we find out who Dr Badass Gramps really is. The hostage taker, mortified at his own actions lets the girl go, drops his gun and starts sobbing. The girl, Mari rushes to Doc Badass and we find out his name is Jin. And on that note we will get to more of my gripes with this movie next time.

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Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Deadfall is owned by Tristar Pictures and Christopher Coppola
Highlander is owned by Cannon Films, 20th Century Fox and Highlander Productions Limited
Black Lagoon is owned by Rei Hiroe, Sunao Katabuchi, Madman Entertainment, Viz Media, Madhouse, Universal Australia and Funimation Entertainment
Looney Toons is owned by Warner Brothers and the Vitaphone Corporation.