Saturday, October 15, 2016

Tokusatsu Review: Shruiken Sentai Ninninger vs Toqger Part 1: Why too much silly doesn't work.

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 Well people, here we are, the crossover I have been dreading for quite some time, my current personal worst Sentai series to date crossing over with the current most critically and commercially panned Sentai. You all know my complaints about Toqger by this point, the Red has severe brain damage and is insufferable, the suit designs for the heroes and their mechs are the most lazy I've ever seen and their message is personally disgusting, offensive and just plain wrong. While in Ninninger's case I give it more slack then Toqger if only because Toqger came out first so all my rage was probably spent by the time it fell apart. While yes it is structurally far worse then Toqger and has not only lame villains and also an even worse mentor then Gosei from Megaforce (YES I WILL TAKE THAT TO THE GRAVE!!!) and Takaharu was just a little less annoying and slightly more tolerable then Right I will still rush to Ninninger's defense before Toqger. Especially since Ninninger has a chance to redeem itself from adaptation since Saban seems to agree with me and is skipping Toqger for adaptation once Dino Charge is over

 Now before I talk about this crossover and no doubt get drafted into the Red Lantern Corps when I'm done with it I need to share some theories as to why Toei has been shoving out goofy series for three years after Gobusters wrapped up. The reason is due to what fellow Tokusatsu critic Des Shinta refers to as the "Carranger Effect" named after the series Gekisou Sentai Carranger, which was what was adapted into Power Rangers Turbo. This refers to Toei's tendency to follow up a failed sentai series with a more goofy silly sentai to try and bring back viewers who they think left because "Kids are stupid and can't understand more complex stories so bring them back with brightly colored nonsense." 

 Yeah but see here, the reason why Carranger helped saved Sentai back in the 90's? It was because a more goofy series was needed since the previous series Choriki Sentai Ohranger was a super serious war Sentai that premiered during a Terrorist attack!!! On top of that apparently around the 9th episode Ohranger was going to do a storyline that apparently would have been very similar to what just happened and Toei; figuring that little kids wouldn't be particularly happy being reminded of horrible attacks that killed several thousand people potentially including their loved ones had to cobble together new episodes and plots extremely fast which put their series far over budget. This is exactly what happened to Evangelion by the way, also this is just speculation based and what I've found online in forums discussing this topic so it could be false but it does seem rather plausible that these are the circumstances that lead to the Carranger effect.

 Back on topic here Toei seems to have forgotten that Carranger helped Sentai get back on track due to it being a necessity at the time, not so much afterwords. But now they seem to think that if a series sucked, crank up the goofy and they'll come back in droves. When they don't acknowledge that it sucked because the writing wasn't up to par. But I could just go on about this and since this is a review blog and not an opinion blog let's get on to the real question of this review. Would I prefer a Shuriken in my eye or being run over by a train?

 We begin our festival of pain with our band of Ninja numbskulls on a train, though Takaharu doesn't know exactly where they're going. Apparently they're off to a Ninja theme park for summer vacation. The intercom tells them that their stop is at Dream Ninnin Live Station and if you have two functioning brain cells you can immediately tell that they're on a Shadow Line train but no time for that now we have Kinji doing a rock cover of their ending theme song, because reasons. After the Big Lipped Alligator Jam Session we see a familiar face.
Great, Rule 63 Right's the first apperance in this crossover, I can already feel the Pixie Sticks being force fed down my mouth. And she's in her grown up form WTF? Also she's a pop idol in this dream for some reason, speaking of.
 Back on track Kagura grabs Kinji and runs off with him. We cut to.... the opening of the movie again, kay? Though Takaharu notices that while the core five are there there's six bentou lunches. However the intercom chimes in again telling that they're now in Dream Spy mission Station now. Where they apparently become a much better Sentai team, the Gobusters. Ok not really but they're spies now for some reason. The group split up and Yakumo, Nagi and Katsumi get chased down by thugs when they're saved by the only Toqger that I wouldn't want to toss into a Gulag.  
Dude you can ask people to call you Susan for all I care just so long as you usurp right as leader of the Toqger I so don't care!
 He's not here to take up my advice however and just takes the three with him. The next loop of Endless Eight happens again but the two have their next station up ahead.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THEY'RE BROTHER AND SISTER MOVIE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS I DON'T EVEN!!! Oh good lord I swear I can hear Banjos already.
Oh thank whoever's up there that these two aren't at the alter and Fuuka's dream groom is really Tokacchi, but is it? No for you see he's really this guy!
 
 No no Mio shows up, chews out Tokacchi and tries to get Fuuka out of there but are stoped by Jukkarage thugs. The four transform and the Toqger explain that these dreams are actually illusions created by our movie exclusive Yokai Wanyūdō.
And oh dear god he's just a weird head strapped onto a Kuliner Robo suit. Once again the laziness of the Toqger mandates infects the production. Now it just looks like a spooky stupid Gunman. If only Kamina would show up, give a over the top man speech and kick its ass. But no we have the Toqgers and Ninningers to do it instead, joy bunnies.
 So our lazily designed monster traps the four inside of itself so the "veterans" can give the two newbies the lowdown. Takaharu remembers that they went out to fight Wanyūdō and got abducted and out muscled. So greetings are exchanged, introductions are made, title cards are shown yeah yeah yeah we know the drill. The Toqgers continue saying that even tough they beat the main Shadow Line their resident Doctor returned from studying abroad and that he's the one being the Dark Ninja land. Takaharu says his catchphrase and of course the other 3 sane people are flummoxed by his stupidity.
Well they both make me want to take a staple-gun to my ballsack then put up with them so yes, Tokacchi yes they are.
Speaking of which he shows up for the rescue and drives the rainbow line up to Wanyūdō's train form to let them make the jump to safety. Wanyūdō however sends in Jukkarage and Kuros to take the four out. They transform and try to fight off the forces but they just keep coming. Wanyūdō eventually manages to escape into a tunnel but not before the Toqgers manage to get Fuuka at least to safety, Takaharu however didn't make it, not because the grunts overwhelmed him, not because Wanyūdō got inside the tunnel no no. 
BECAUSE HE SLIPPED ON FUUKA'S GODDAMN BANANNA PEEL!!!!!

 Why did I say I'd stick up for this asshole again? So one dumbass red gets kidnapped so our other dumbass red chases him down. And to pour salt into the wound the Kibaoni foxy general shows up to gloat.
No not that Foxxy.
Dear god not that Foxy.
Oh I wish it was that Foxy, at least she's fun and competent. Also HELLO NURSE!
 No no it's Kyuemon who tells them the obvious, that he was the one behind Wanyūdō, speaking of he delivers our dumbass Ninja to the dark Ninja land park. You know all this blatant stupidity is getting to me. I'll cut it off here before my brains are reduced to yogurt. See you next time where we learn more obvious crap like how the sky is blue, feet stink and Takaharu and Right couldn't outwit a box of oatmeal. 

Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion is owned by Studio Sunrise, Gorō Taniguchi and Funnimation.
Code Ment is owned by PurpleEyesWTF.
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is propriety of Hirohiko Araki, David Production, Tokyo MX, Warner Bros Entertainment and Viz Media.
The Spoony Experiment is owned by Noah Antwilder.
Drawn Together is owned by Comedy Central, Dave Jeser, Matt Silverstein, Double Hemn, and Rough Draft Studios.
Five Nights at Freddy's is owned and created by Scott Cawthon.
Project X Zone is owned by Banpresto, Monolith Soft and Bandai Namco Games.