Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Heisei Generations Forever Part 3: The definition of insanity.

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain!, support me on Patreon and watch my Twitch Channel Every Saturday at 12:00 ET

 Here we are at last, I've been putting this off for as long as I possibly could but I just have to treat this like a bandage and rip it off as quickly as possible. But it has been a while so here's the links for Parts 1 and 2 to make sure you know exactly where I'm coming from.

Part 1 https://ondavidsbrain.blogspot.com/2019/06/tokusatsu-review-kamen-rider-heisei.html

Part 2 https://ondavidsbrain.blogspot.com/2019/06/tokusatsu-review-kamen-rider-heisei_24.html

 So where were we? Oh right Woz just slapped Riku Sanjo right in the face by inexplicably using the Gaia Library to get the Rider Ticket for where Futaros went to; January 29th 2000, one day before the first episode of Kuuga. Sougo takes Ataru, for some reason back with him in the Time Mazin but are too late as Futaros managed to get there first, by jumping out of past Ataru, before he was delivered by his still pregnant mother. Now I'm just imagining what the father's reaction would be if he saw this big, red demon looking guy jump right out of his pregnant wife. "Um Honey, were you schtupping Satan behind my back?!"

 But before they can make a joke about this weirdness Shingo (the one from before he was kidnapped) is about to be abducted by Another W when Futaros tries to fight the Another Rider off but to no avail. And it's here where Ataru finally learns what the audience did about half an hour or so ago. Now that he knows that the kid he was paling around with is his long lost brother he charges right at Another W and gets turned into Another Den-O for his trouble, in the words of Professor Farnsworth "Ah, Paradox resolved." With the two brothers under his masters power Another W makes his escape abroad the Another Den-Liner leaving Futaros and Sougo in the dust. Meanwhile we cut to the Kurougatake Mountains where Tiddlywinks uncovers the tomb of Riku, the original Kuuga and from his remains creates the Kuuga Anotherwatch.

 Geiz manages to intercept him but it's too late as Tiddlywinks uses the watch on himself becoming Another Kuuga, thus creating a future where the Heisei Riders were never real, wiping himself and everyone else in this world from existence in the process, thus never executing this plan in the first place.

 Now this is stupid for several reasons but I will give the writers credit for one thing, working around the fact that Joe Odagiri refuses to reprise the role of Yusuke Godai, the modern Kuuga by having Tiddlywinks taking the power from the remains of Riku, I have to admit that was a good workaround for the problem of creating Another Kuuga. But that's hampered by the fact that this makes no sense. According to the series' lore once an Another Rider is created in the same year that the rider was born in the Another Rider overlaps the history of said rider. Now since Tiddlywinks turned himself into Another Kuuga one day before the Grongi were released and Godai became Kuuga, his history should still be in tact. Which leads to my second problem, Tiddlywinks just became the Another Rider of Riku, not the modern Kuuga so Godai will still become Kuuga because his personal history as a Rider was not changed according to the logic we've been given.

 Also, Kuuga may have been the origins of the Hesiei Riders in the meta sense; but in universe, no the Riders would have come about regardless of Kuuga so even in concept this plan makes absolutely no God Dan Kuroto sense! But this all leads back to one of the biggest problems of the film; Tid is a terrible villain. Answer me this one question audience, why does he do any of this crap? To erase the Heisei riders from existence? Ok, then why, why does he want to do this; creating a world without riders isn't a motivation it's a goal those are two completely different things.

 We're never given a good reason why he wants to do this. Even Paradox from Yu-Gi-Oh Bonds Beyond time had a motivation for his actions, hell, even Harvest, the king of Dumbasses from the Culling had a better motivation than this idiot. Sure they were both just as hypocritical and made as little sense as Tid but at least they had a better reason for their actions other than "because I'm evil." This guy was so badly written and his motivation is quite literally non-existent that I'm just begging for the Great Leader of Shocker to show up and say that this was all a part of his plan. As overused as Shocker is (especially with Shirakura productions) at least they have the established history of wanting world conquest and have a long standing history of hatred for all Kamen Riders.

 This isn't even the first time Shocker screwed around with time travel, that was their entire plan in Super Hero Taisen GP and Kamen Rider Yongou. Sure it's lazy but you don't have to replace lazy with another brand of lazy if the result is even worse! For that matter why did Schwartz even turn Tid into a Timejacker in the first place if he knew that he'd pull something like this. For that matter where are Schwartz and his little Harem anyway? Why didn't they try to stop this if they knew that Tid was screwing up their plans, whatever they are?

 Moving on, Tiddlywinks finishes transforming into Another Kuuga and he looks like if Inferno from Beast Wars became a demon who devours the souls of the guilty and innocent alike.

INFERNO, TERRORIZE!!!! 

 Special thanks to the guys at Toku Riffs for giving me this idea (originally I was going to go with Waspinator but Inferno works so much better upon reflection.)  Ironically, Beast Wars still has better CGI than this movie. Though this Predacon is less enthusiastic about setting things on fire and is more inclined to grab his opponents and break them like the Batman. Even with Tsukuyomi backing him up in the Time Mazin Another Kuuga wipes the floor with Geiz and after trashing both Geiz and Sougo's Time Mazins retreats back to the Another Den-Liner. But the train crashes back where the movie started bringing us back full circle.

 But our heroes are now stranded back in 2000 and unless they want to do what Captain America did at the end of Endgame and take the long way back they're screwed. Later that night Futaros explains to Sougo why Tiddlywinks even targeted Shingo in the first place. According to him he's a Fixed/Singularity Point whichever one you want to call them I don't give a crap. For those who don't know, Singularity Points are people who are immune to the effects of time alteration, like Den-O himself Ryotaro Nogami and his descendants. Which explains why the creep has been stalking the kid since this whole thing got started, as long as Shingo exists and remembers Kamen Riders Tiddlywinks' plan to create a world without them will never come to pass.

 But this begs the question of why Futaros even wants to help Shingo and Ataru in the first place, maybe because he's just one of the rare good Imagin, good enough for me I guess. Back in 2018 Sento and Banjo fight their way though the fortress and confront Tiddlywinks in his throne room but he just sics some grunts on them. The Zi-O team nearly get lost in the time stream due to their slapdash repairs but get a lift from the real Den-Liner which dumps them off into the Fortress, conveniently next to the throne room. Sougo, Geiz and Futaros get their turn but Tiddlywinks just has Another Den-O deal with them instead. The three try to snap Ataru from his brainwashing but they're not getting through.

 Just as he's about to kill the three everyone except Tiddlywinks are teleported to presumably the Station of the King-Liner terminal. This is where we get the return of the original Kamen Rider Den-O (my very first rider series I finished from start to end btw so, yay) who solos dealing with the grunts and after switching between the rest of the Taros defeats Another Den-O, saving Ataru from Tiddlywinks' control. And yes, Takeru Sato returns as Ryotaro Nogami one last time to give his farewell to the Zi-O crew before warping back to the fight (while possessed by Urataros sure but we know that Ryotaro's the one doing the talking.) Also of note this scene was supervised and written by Den-O's creator Yasuko Kobayashi. While I may have a lot of issues with her original work during her overworked, burnout phase of her carrier, this was still a nice touch and shows that somewhere deep down she still cares enough about Den-O to make sure Toei doesn't do it dirty; despite Toei milking the show like the cash cow that it sadly is.

 Back to the crap, Tiddlywinks' blowing his top because these stupid Riders just won't die! But after we get some flowery bullcrap from our heroes we get a scene that is simultaneously heartfelt and dumb as all hell. See, there was another reason why we got the Den-O reunion scene, it was for Owner to re-establish the whole "as long as you live on in someones memory you'll never die" crap so that the Kamen Riders can come back thanks to the fans who remember them. This is dumb for three reasons. One, in this timeline Kamen Riders are not real so how are the fan's memories bringing them to life if they were just T.V in this world?

 Two, Gokaiger did this much better during the Gokaiger VS Goseiger 199 Hero Battle, and no it's not because its Gokaiger its because it was established much better and constant with the setting of the show/movie because it took place in a world where Super Sentai was real so it didn't seem like something out of Akibaranger like this sequence does. Lastly, this is the exact same plot point that was used to bring back the Riders in Lets Go Kamen Rider and we all know how that turned out. Regardless of my gripes, the sequence that shows all of the Kamen Riders kicking ass is pretty cool, even if Ghost does look like he's standing on a Roomba during his fight sequence. After that Sougo finally gets it into his head to use the W Ridewatch to finally destroy Another W. Tiddlywinks has lost any sanity he's had left and transforms into Another Kuuga to just kill everyone.

 Build fixes the Time Mazins and arrives to help Zi-O fight the giant Another Rider. But before he jumps into the Time Mazin Geiz gives him the Kuuga Ridewatch that he created by doing the same thing that Tiddlywinks did in Riku's tomb. So with the power of Kuuga Zi-O and Build defeat Another Kuuga, but he's not done yet as he pulls out his trump card.

No, no, no guys it's not what you think. He's just forcing himself inside of the little boy and pulling out something he never knew he had, Jesus Christ!

 All of the phrasing! After getting himself on a government watchlist Demon Jared Fogle reaches his final form, Another Ultimate Kuuga.

AND LOOK AT HOW MUCH TEETH I HAVE TO SMILE WITH, WHILE I CHEW ON ALL OF YOUR BONES!!!

 So we have an insane pedophile who has the abilities of the most physically powerful Kamen Rider to date who happens to be the size of a skyscraper, can shoot lazer beams and is screaming like a maniac who stepped on a shard of broken glass about how he's going to kill everyone on earth. How are our heroes going to overcome this beast? By everyone landing one rider kick on him. (Yes even Hibiki who never had a rider kick, hate you too Shirakura!)  So yep, that's how our big bad dies, like a bitch from 20 Rider kicks, this is almost as bad as the ending of Let's Go Kamen Rider.

 Oh and Shingo totally survived that blast and wasn't reduced to a pile of chunky salsa like Tiddlywinks, because otherwise there'd be a nice big ol NC-17 rating on this sucker. And just like Freddy Got Fingered this whole movie comes off as one of Tom Green's troll projects. After an actually nice, heartfelt sequence of Ataru and Shingo's revised history of the two brothers growing up loving Kamen Rider we end with Futaros walking off to parts unknown and Sento and Sougo just shrugging off the fact that their lives are nothing more then fiction. Roll credits with a horrible mash up of the previous Kamen Rider's opening themes and we're finally done. So that was Heisei Generations Forever and it's a Taisen movie in Heisei Generations clothing.

 While nowhere near as bad as a proper Taisen movie this still sucks hard if you stop and think about it for even a second. The villain has no motivation for his actions and is more than a tad uncomfortable with the excessive amount of physical contact he has with most of his co-stars. I get what they were trying to go for but I think that Sonic can sum up my feelings towards this character.

 Also Build really got the short end of the stick in this movie, most of it was focused on Sougo and all Sento did though out this movie were two things, jack and shit and jack left town! But another rider that got dumped on even worse was W, we never learn who Another W was, why he was working with Tiddlywinks and hell we didn't even see any of the main W cast to give Sougo the Ridewatch. Hell at the time of this review we're almost to the end of Zi-O and W and Drive got nothing in terms of a tribute arc. Though considering how most of them turned out that's a blessing in disguise as far as I'm concerned but it just seems to confirm my suspicions that Shirakura hates Riku Sanjo and is taking it out on his three series. Sure there was Fourze but his tribute arc got completely overshadowed by Faiz.

 Now my theory behind this is because Riku Sanjo's approach to Kamen Rider proves that everything that Shirakura thinks about the franchise is complete horse-shit and is being a spiteful bastard about it by throwing shade at the three series Sanjo worked on. Hell that might explain how Toqger Vs Kyoryuger turned out as bad as it did. Shirakura hates Sanjo so he put Kobayashi, someone whose political ideologies are the exact opposite of Kyoryuger and she dragged the Koyryugers through the dirt out of spite as Shirakura calculated. Bit of a stretch to be sure but given what we know about the guy it would not surprise me if that was Shirakura's mindset going into this production. Going back to the W Ridewatch for a second it being the Deus Ex Machina that brings Sento and Sougo back to the "real world" is completely unrelated to W.

 W at no point had anything to do with inter dimensional travel so it being the key to going back makes no sense. What would have worked better is that instead of Another W we have Another Build instead. Build's series ends with Sento, Banjo and the others traveling to the main Rider Earth to escape Evolt, hell Interdiminsional travel is the main plot point of Heisei Generations Final. But no, like a horny teenager the braintrusts behind Zi-O blew their load too early with Another Build being the first Another Rider fought in the series instead of W. And don't you dare give me the "Build's show was just wrapping up so they had to get the cameo done while they were still on the payroll" card, they knew the team up movie was coming, they knew that it was going to be a crossover between Build and Zi-O, they could have waited but no, like I said, blew their load too soon and now we have a big, narrative mess all over our pants, phrasing boom!

 Like anything that Shirakura is involved with the problems could have been solved if the people in charge just stopped and thought for more then 5 seconds (but lets face it, even 5 years would be far too generous for these clowns) they could have been fixed and we could have had a much better movie. Especially since this is the capstone of the Heisei Era, the last 20 years of Kamen Rider, that just makes this all the worse. This is the way your era ends, not with a bang, but with a spiteful, disinterested sneer by someone who doesn't even know what heroism is. They say that catharsis is bad for you, and I can see why. I'll be back next week with the long awaited continuation of my review of Madoka Magica Homura's Revenge, a much better story than this one despite the sudden tone shift I assure you.

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.


Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Dragon Ball, Dragonball Z, Dragonball GT and Dragonball Super is owned by Funnimation, Toei animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.
Dragon ball Z abridged and Hellsing Ultimate Abridged is owned by Team Four Star. 
Batman Forever is owned by Warner Brothers Pictures and Joel Schumacher Based off the Character created by Bob Kane and Bill Finger.
Archer is owned by Adam Reed, Floyd County Productions, Radical Axis and FX Productions.
Jontron is owned by Jon Jaffri.
The Adventured of Sonic the Hedgehog is owned by DIC Animation City, SEGA of America, Hong YIng Animation, Tokyo Movie Shinsha and Rainbow Animation.

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Heisei Generations Forever Part 2: Itty bitty brain space

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain!, support me on Patreon and watch my Twitch Channel Every Saturday at 12:00 ET

 Well, we've had ourselves a nice little break haven't we? Now it's back to work covering how this movie blows chunks, yay. After Sento states the obvious we cut back to Tiddlywinks's hide out where his Another Riders bring him Shingo. Next is the three stooges finding Kazumi's unconscious body in front of Ataru's house. Yet Ataru didn't think to call an ambulance for the guy bleeding out in front of his house who tried to save him and the little kid from the monster working for a psychopath?

 But something seems wrong as when Sento asks where Shingo is Ataru thinks that they're talking about his older brother. Yet after Sougo clarifies that they were talking about the kid they still don't think that something is wrong. Look I'm done waiting for the movie to drop the other shoe and I'm not going to insult your intelligence by going along with their poorly constructed foreshadowing any longer, Shingo is Ataru's time displaced brother. For reasons that will be explained later Tiddlywinks abducted him before Ataru was born which was one day before the premiere of Kuuga. This explains why they both have the same name, why Shingo only knows about Kuuga and how he's never seen a smartphone before when this movie takes place in 2018 and every kid who has even heard of one has racked up at least $1000 dollars on their parents phone playing Angry Birds.

 Now we get to the part where we learn how Ataru caused all of this in the first place, brace yourselves and have buckets on stand by for when you either have an aneurysm or your brains are reduced to Yogurt! He invites Sento and Sougo inside and shows them his room, which is full of Kamen Rider figurines and merchandise. You name it it's there, there's drivers, posters, festival masks, toys, figurines you name it it's most likely there. After the non reaction from our two heroes after they learn about how their lives are only fiction Ataru explains how they got to his world in the first place. See Ataru comes from the real world, where Kamen Rider is just a T.V show yet one day he gets possessed by an Imagin who grants his wish to be able to see real Kamen Riders.

 I repeat, an Imagin, from Kamen Rider Den-O, shows up, in the real world, to grant Ataru's wish!

 First off, if Kamen Riders are not real in your world, there's no way in hell that there should be an Imagin there to grant your wish. Second, Imagins are not that powerful. Sure they're based off of the Djinn which is the basis of Genies, but like the original Djinn, Imagins don't have the phenomenal cosmic power that was ascribed to them from works like the Disney version of Aladdin but are more depicted as they were originally portrayed, as spirits summoned by someone to carry out a task. In other words, they could only grant a wish that was within normal parameters such as "get revenge on this guy for me," "bring me millions of dollars," wishes like that, usually through twisted and violent ways. But this new Imagin (he goes unnamed through out the movie but the wiki says that he's named Futaros) is just somehow able to merge worlds together to grant this wish, even though no Imagin before this has that kind of reality merging power, not even the Death Imagin, the strongest Imagin in Den-O.

 And then with Ataru telling them that none of this matters since this is all his dream and that once he wakes up nothing will have happened that's strike 3 and this guy is out. So why did he even do this in the first place? Because he just wants to forget his reality where his parents focused on his 7 year old older brother Shingo disappearing thanks to Tiddlywinks and thought that the Riders would help him. Sento, after rightfully chewing him out for thinking that this was just nothing but his delusions has had enough and walks out with Sougo not too far behind. Now, allow a clown to be serious for a few seconds, because there are several things I find wrong with this scene on both a storytelling level and philosophical level.

 First let's get the storytelling out of the way because trust me the philosophical side can get pretty juicy. I mainly have issues with the revelations and the characters reaction, or in this case lack of reaction in the scene. We have a set up where people who thought that their lives were real turns out to be in fact, fictitious. There are many ways and stories that touch on and experiment with this concept whether it be for a deconstruction of the agency of viewers interaction with the work or creators commenting on the nature of the meta narrative. Such examples include The Stanley Parable, Princess Tutu or most prominently in my mind, Grant Morrisons run on Animal Man.

 Each of these works touch on the agency of a creation in their fictional world. Now of course I'm not saying that every story that has these ideas has to be some grand philosophical treatise on the meta narrative and creation being ruled by the creator; this idea can also be used for poking fun at the 4th wall like Deadpool, the Rocky and Bullwinkle movie and Doki Doki Literature club. But what I'm getting at is that these works took this idea and actually did something with it. But in this movie, nothing is done with this concept. It's just casually tossed in as an afterthought explanation to justify the inconsistencies of the original setting, in. my opinion this is lazy, thoughtless and wasteful.

 But now we come to the probable intent of this scene, why the creators thought to include this in the first place. Now, after thinking long and hard about this scene I'm actually reminded of something. Back in the 200th Episode of Atop the 4th Wall Linkara reviewed Spider-Man One More Day, in issue three of that story Peter encounters an overweight alternate universe version of himself who went on a tirade deriding the entire concept of escapist fiction. Considering who was involved in the creation of that story, combined with the fact that issues 3 and 4 of that story were heavily rewritten he incorrectly assumed that Joe Quesada was responsible for that scene. It was later revealed that while the rewrites were a thing, most of issue 3 was written as intended by J Michael Straczynski.

 How it was written could easily be seen as a message of contempt to people who indulge in escapist fiction. The overweight Peter could easily be seen as a stand-in for JMS calling the audience failures for ignoring the real world, or him venting his frustration of having to toss all of his years of work on Spider-Man out the window to appease Quesada. But having gone through the scene and given the context of the story I could see this as the overweight Peter telling Spider-Man that while he never got the spider bite and couldn't be a hero in the spandex and cape sense, 616 Peter, as Spider-Man can do so much more good. Though Tubby is ignoring the fact that there's more ways of being someone's hero then the cape and cowl routine, like working in a soup kitchen, helping a homeless person get back on their feet, or even just giving someone reassurance, comfort and hope when all seems hopeless. So yeah like most versions of Peter Parker, he's kind of a fucking idiot.

 But back on track, unlike Quesada and JMS the two working on this movie; Shinichiro Shirakura and Kento Shimoyama have constant track records consisting of critically paned work, and in Shirakura's case; excessive meddling and distain towards the Tokusatsu fandom. Given this and Shirakura's hands on approach towards the productions he helms I can safely assume that he's responsible for this scene.

 And he's clearly telling the fans of Kamen Rider that they're delusional, sociopathic cowards for indulging in this series. You know, the series that is a long standing Japanese cultural icon for decades, the series that he's a producer of, one of the properties that is responsible for the roof over his head, the food in his gut and the clothes on his back?! He's basically saying "the people who watch this franchise and buy my crap are losers so keep buying my crap losers!" Now while I don't have a clip of Linkara giving that spiteful ramble towards JMS (accidentally to the guy who didn't even want to do that story in the first place) I do have a clip that hopefully conveys the message to Shirakura all the same.

 I honestly should end this review right here, but sadly no, there's still much more to come. Anyway, after Sento's departure Futaros asks whether this is enough since he's draining himself to keep the Riders here and apparently this is the reason why they are losing their memories. Now that Tiddlywinks has Shingo he gets started on both creating his perfect world and his perfect Kefka impression. First by doing an insane laugh that would make Mark Hamel blush, then he summons a giant castle out of nowhere in the middle of Tokyo.

And he can do all of this because don't question it or else you'll be kicked in the head by a horse!

 Oh and as if that wasn't enough he literally makes it rain and then sends an army of Grunts into the city to kill everyone in their path. Sento and Sougo notice the giant eyesore and agree that fictional or otherwise, they have to stop Tiddlywinks' plans. Ataru finally notices what his actions have caused and after being chased by an Inves, Ghoul and Roidmude and finding that Kazumi has lost his memories decides that enough is enough and tells Futaros that the contract is fulfilled allowing him to assume his full Imagin from and fight off the Grunts before jumping through Ataru completing the contract. But with said contract completed the Riders return to their world leaving the "real world" at the mercy of Tiddlywinks and his army. As Sougo witnesses Futaros traveling back in time he returns to his world with Woz watching him sleep like the zealous creep that he is.

 After he explains everything to Woz, Sento finds him and tells him about the photo he found at Ataru's house and the two twits finally figure out what anyone who was watching this movie and didn't huff paint as a kid figured out half an hour ago. But now that they know the score how are they getting back to stop Tiddlywinks? They use the W Ridewatch that's how! I'll get into my thoughts about that later right now it's BS time. After the trio travel though Hypertime apparently they land back in the "real world" where the minions are racking up a major kill count.

 Sougo and Woz manage to find Ataru, Woz then oh lord give me strength, accesses the Gaia Library to fill Sougo in on how the Imagin operate and then pulls out a Rider Ticket out of nowhere to figure out where Futaros went!?

 That's it, I need a break there's only so much I can take. See you next week for my final thoughts on the movie and even more things wrong with it. Someone get me a Diet Coke!!!

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Back to the Future is owned by Robbert Zebecks, Bob Gale, Stephen Spielberg, Ambling Entertainment  and Universal Studios.
See no Evil, Hear no Evil is owned by Tristar Pictures and Arthur Hiller.
Half Baked is owned by Universal Pictures, Robert Simonds Productions and Tamra Davis.

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Heisei Generations Forever Part 1: Crisis of infinite migraines.

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain!, support me on Patreon and watch my Twitch Channel Every Saturday at 12:00 ET

 Oh wowie the last of the Generations Movies! The first one was a great tie-in to one of my favorite Rider series and did the impossible by actually making Ghost look good.

Part 1: https://ondavidsbrain.blogspot.com/2017/07/tokusatsu-review-kamen-rider-heisei.html

Part 2: https://ondavidsbrain.blogspot.com/2017/08/tokusatsu-review-kamen-rider-heisei.html

 Heisei Generations Final once again fills in the blanks for Kamen Rider Build while getting some of the best Heisei Riders back while giving closure to some of those riders while showing Build as just as worthy to stand along side those heroes.

Part 1: https://ondavidsbrain.blogspot.com/2018/08/tokusatsu-review-kamen-rider-heisei.html

Part 2: http://ondavidsbrain.blogspot.com/2018/08/tokusatsu-review-kamen-rider-heisei_18.html

Part 3: http://ondavidsbrain.blogspot.com/2018/09/tokusatsu-review-kamen-rider-heisei.html

 I mean considering how good the last two were there's no way they can screw it up right?

 You poor fools forgot that the last two movies were written and directed by people who actually knew what they were doing. Instead we have the crew of Kamen Rider Zi-O helming this turkey which means that Kento Shimoyama wrote this and the producer was the Japanese Dan Didio himself Shinichiro Shirakura. So in the words this is a Taisen movie in Generation movies' clothes. Oh and before I forget this movie involves time travel, pants to be darkened!!! So let's not put this off any longer; time for the Heisei era to end, not with a bang but with the disgusted sneers of an old bastard who hates this franchise and the people who love it with the intensity of a million Foreman grills!

 After the traditional Toei logo we get an actually cute and fitting little montage of a kid growing up with Kamen Rider, from a Kuuga figure in his delivery cradle to him getting a picture with Den-O ect our torture session opens in 2018 with Sougo walking back from school where Geiz and Tsukuyomi are chasing after him in their Time Mazine. Wait, by the emperor's toes the series is starting over again!

 Ahahahahahahha oh dear god no I can't do this all over again I can't!

 Ok, no no thankfully Shirakura felt somewhat generous that day and decided not to subject us to Zi-O all over again because once Geiz and Tsukuyomi corner Sougo an evil version of the Den-Liner makes a crash landing; knocking the Time Mazin out in the process. Then one of the only good things in Zi-O; an Another Rider jumps out of the wreck to kill Sougo. Of course since he has the year 2007 and the name Den-O on his body and came out of a twisted version of the Den-Liner it's clear that this is the Another Rider of Kamen Rider Black.

No it's obviously Another Den-O, Black already did some time travel but we don't like to talk about that.

 Before Another Den-O can kill this would be despot Geiz transforms and stops him from doing what he originally came back to 2018 to do in the first place. During the fight Geiz and Tsukuyomi know who Sougo is but he doesn't recognize them. It's only when Another Den-O knocks him around and Sougo sees the Zi-O Ridewatch does he remember who they are.

 While Another Den-O deals with Geiz and Zi-O a little kid escapes from the train. (Warning sign #1, a little kid in a modern Tokusatsu movie is a good sign that Shirakura was involved with the production and that it will be bad. Nobody likes it when guest child actors are involved in a Toku movie unless they're written well. As they often tend to steal focus from the main heroes, are not compelling to watch and are usually portrayed as bratty, annoying, moody or all three and refuse to advance the plot unless the threat is staring them in the face.) Anyway he escapes before getting swept up by a green cyclone and lands in front of Kiryu Sento and Banjo Ryuga.

Hallelujah!

 Before you ask, no these aren't the Sento and Banjo that Sougo met and got the Build and Cross-Z Ridewatchs from in the disastrous first two episodes. These are the Sento and Ryuga that landed on the main Toei Earth after Sento merged the Build Earth with the main Earth to stop Evolt. If you're asking how that makes any sense, then shut up the makers of the movie clearly don't care even though they wrote the damn show that these events spun off from. Ok it is kind of explained later but we'll get to that later. Anyway the kid runs and hides because "it" is coming.

You know I'd say that the design of Pennywise for It Chapter 2 jumped the shark but he is a shapeshifter so I don't know maybe the Turtle that holds the Earth or something from Dark Towers can explain it, because it's either one or the other.

 No this is Another W who attacks after Sento and Banjo transform into Build and Cross-Z. We then cut back to the wreck of the another Den-Liner to see the main villain of our story, the Time jacker who created Another W and Another Den-O.

This is Tid and his incredibly stupid plan is to destroy the Heisei era of Kamen Riders. Because I guess the Shōwa era riders just weren't worth his time I guess? But then again considering the last time Shirakura did anything with the Shōwa Riders, we don't want him to touch them ever again, Phrasing!

 After the tittle card we see the two pairs of Riders forcing their opponents to retreat. But in both instances there was a crowd of people watching and cheering the riders on like it was a live show. Hell even Build and Cross-Z get back up from Kamen Riders Grease and Rogue, who shouldn't be there since they were killed before the world merger. There wasn't even a chance to have them be like a Jay Garrick and Barry Allen Flash situation like after Crisis on Infinite Earths where since they were so radically different the new world decided to keep both versions of the Flash like with Sento and Banjo they're just here because the Kool-Aid man is red. During the Build Riders fight with Another W a high schooler is watching and recording the fight on his phone while the kid that Another W was after escapes into the crowd. We're then subjected to I kid you not, 8 minutes of pointless scenes that can basically be summed up with "things aren't what they're supposed to be!"

 Sento finally corners the kid and tries to ask why the Another Rider was after him but he refuses to trust and talk to him like the dumbass brat that he is. He does finally talk when Sento mentions that he's Kamen Rider Build and the kid thinks that he fights alongside Kuuga. But before Sougo can ask any more questions Tiddlywinks shows up to abduct the kid who he identifies as Shingo. Sento tells Shingo to run while he holds him off but Tiddlywinks uses his Timejacker powers to toy with and possibly molest him.

"slurp You have the taste of a Heisei Rider!"

 Seriously Sento looks legitimately uncomfortable, I can't help but think this was ad libbed, I'm starting to get a Jerod Leto's Joker vibe now, never go full Jerod Leto. So after, that Tiddlywinks wonders what Sento is even doing here since there apparently shouldn't be any Kamen Riders in this world. But he decides to make Lemonade from this lemon and uses some unexplained mind control powers on Sento. Speaking of Jojo references we catch up with the kid who was recording the fight talking to a voice in his head who tells him that Sougo is following him, who he recognizes as Zi-O and introduces himself as Ataru Hisanaga who claims to have the power to draw riders to him, despite the voice telling him to quit acting so cocky.

 Ataru decides to demonstrate this by taking Sougo out for Fumen at a stand in Futo. He says that this will lure out W, well he's half right (ha) as instead Shingo shows up being chased by Another W. Sougo begins to transform but Another W retreats before he can finish. When Sougo tires to talk with Shingo the stand owner hands him the W Ridewatch because apparently Shotaro told him to give it to Sougo when he recognized him, because he "protected the city". Wow not only does Futo have their won Kamen Rider but they also have their own plot convenience Fairy!

 Sougo and Ataru decide to bring Shingo back home. Along the way Shingo says that his mother's in the hospital because she's about to deliver his baby brother, he's happy about is since he has someone he can watch Kamen Rider Kuuga with. Ataru is impressed that a little kid knows about such an old Rider series since he himself was born one day before Kuuga aired, making today his birthday. After some antics about Sougo's home not being the same as he knows it and Geiz and Tsukuyomi's memories being rewritten as what happened to Banjo, Kazumi, Gentoku and Misora he decides to look for Shingo's house with the map app on his smart phone.

 And the fact that Shingo says that he's never seen a smart phone should have been a major tip off to him not being from the present day! Now, what a normal person would do in this situation would be to ask Shingo what year it was due to the two major oddities about him, but since this is an idiot plot neither Ataru nor Sougo do this. Even the two Persona Q games got this plot point out of the way faster then this pair of brain trusts!!! While we painfully wait for the characters to catch up with the audience for the solution to this obvious mystery Kazumi and Banjo show up asking Shingo where Sento went. After he tells them about his confrontation with Tiddlywinks Sento's bike shows up to take Banjo and Sougo to where he is keeping Sento, somehow!

 When Zi-O and Cross-Z find him he has the still mind controlled Sento transform into his TankTank form and attack the two. After more obvious foreshadowing Shingo gets taken by Another W and Another Den-O after they beat the ever loving tar out of Grease. But not before Another Den-O shows Ataru who he really is, Ataru, wait what?! Back to the Rider fight we learn that Sento actually wasn't under Tiddlywinks control and was just playing along until he can learn what his goal is. But he never learned what that was so he wasted his time and nearly killed his allies for no reason, our heroes everyone!

 But thanks to his two Another Riders his plans can get started with Shingo, how? Well that's what next time is for and oh dear lord is it convoluted and stupid. But before that, there's something that requires my attention in Kamihama city, toodles!

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Superman Returns is owned by Dc Comics, Bryan Singer, Warner Bros Pictures, Bad Hat Harry Productions, Legendary Pictures and Peters Entertainment.
Sam and Max: The Devil's Playhouse Episode 2: The Tomb of Sammun-mak is owned by Telltale Games and Chuck Jordan.
Aliens (Film) is owned by James Cameron, 20th Century Fox and Brandy Wine Productions Based off of characters by Dan O'Bannon and Ronald Shusett
Hellsing Ultimate is owned by Kouta Hirano, Studio Madhouse, Madman Entertainment, Manga Entertainment, Geneon and Funimation.
Hellsing Ultimate Abridged is owned by Team Four Star.

Tokusatsu Review: Uchu Sentai Kyuuranger vs Space Squad Part 2: Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain!, support me on Patreon and watch my Twitch Channel Every Saturday at 12:00 ET

 Welcome back to my last written review of 2018 everybody. Yeah sorry but this is the time of the year for friends (the few I still have), family (the ones I actually want to affiliate myself with) and making sure both groups don't kill each other over petty nonsense by pacifying them with material goods. Though in all seriousness this has been a busy year for me and I need a bit of a break. Besides I need to catch everyone up on Kingdom Hearts before the big day comes next month so I'll be dedicating myself to posting the rest of my LP of Birth By Sleep. So now to wrap up the adventures of Dumbluck and his gang of stooges. Here's the link to last time, now to get this party started.

https://ondavidsbrain.blogspot.com/2018/11/tokusatsu-review-uchu-sentai-kyuuranger.html

 So after Dumbluck, Robo Bison and Pine Tree showed us how little they actually know about how the world works, and Shuu gets a good sniff of Bootleg Spock after sniffing Tsurugi's female secretary, the guy must collect restraining orders like Yu-gi-oh cards. Everybody is brooding over this whole situation while Spiro is still incapacitated, he could really use either a Spa day or surgery. Dumbluck and his group meet up with Luigi Mario where they surprisingly encounter Spyro who tells the four to look after Yera and that the enemy is going to attack the Neo Kyuutama production facility, yeah I know what's happening but just let those in the back of the class figure it out for themselves. Tsurugi even gets a message from Demost about the same attack. Sure enough Yera's there and ambushed by Tsurugi, Sasuke Clone #3472, Kurumi, Bootleg and Josuk3PO.

 But before they can catch her, get her to a safe location and figure out what the hell is going on, the moron brigade show up, transform and fight with Tsurugi, Sasuke and Kurumi. Dumbluck even gets back up from Leman Russ, but even Dumbluck didn't want him involved in this since he has a family to look after, but nope Bros before hoes and pups I guess, god when even Dumbluck can see that that was a stupid idea, just, ugh. Anyway it's 5 on 3 with Yera still refusing to explain herself while Demost is watching and putting the finishing touches by performing a Jutsu. While back at the fight Spyro shows up again gets caught in a sword clash between Dumbluck and Tsurugi making things 1000 times worse, so what does Yera do while her friends and teammates are killing each other? She runs away like a fucking coward!

 Even Mele tries to call her out on her bullcrap when Shuu intervenes and starts another fight/ flirting session with her. Then the three are attacked by Spyro forcing Mele into her monster form. He tells Yera the exact wrong thing to resolve this situation and Mele uses her chameleon powers to escape with Yera. Back with the moron's fighting Gavan finally shows up and manages to defuse the situation. However Demost knows that Gavan is in the neighborhood and is now on a major time crunch.

 Now here's where we finally learn why Yera is doing all of this, Demost approached her pretending to be be from her Ninja clan and tells her he wants to help her resurrect her master who was killed by Jark Matter by getting the Neo Kyuutamas. So she was willing to trust the words of an obviously evil looking space ninja who says that he can help her bring back her dead master. Do I need to tell you all how stupid this is? I mean do I need to repeat my joke from my recap of Lupinranger vs Patranger, actually yes I will! Unless you're using the Dragonballs resurrections tend to go pear shaped really fast!

Unless Yera really hated her master for some reason and only wants her to suffer as an undead abomination.

Or as an unborn demon that can't even beg for death.

Or to use a more recent example, be resurrected as part of a Zombie Pop idol group for the as of yet unknown purposes of an eccentric asshole as part of a poignant social commentary about how fucked up the Japanese Pop Idol industry is!

 Also no, this isn't a trick of Demost, her master really is still alive, how, why these are questions the movie doesn't feel like answering. Moving on Geki and Shuu catch up and give some advice to Dumbluck and Tsurugi. We also have some scenes about "how are we going to get over something like this" that I've seen handled way better in Persona 3 The Answer so just play that then listen to this tripe. The only important thing to come out of this sequence is that Yera tries to leave Demost but he shows his true colors and fatally wounds Mele for their little heart to heart talk that lead her to get a clue in her head. But Demost shows Yera that her master is alive and he'll kill her again if she doesn't follow his orders.

 His true goal is to conquer this universe as an offering to Fumein and the only thing that stands in his way is the Kyurangers. That's why he even approached her in the first place, and to further drive the wedge between the team he used his Jutsu to disguise himself as Spyro while the real Spyro is still in the hospital. Now for his master plan to destroy the Kyurangers, he'll have Yera kill Tsurugi and to make sure she gets the job done he sends Basco, Juzo and Escape to oversee the operation and kill anyone who gets in the way. Speaking of Tsurugi in a press conference he announces his resignation as President of the galactic Federation. Yera tries to make her move but she just can't go through with it, so Escape does the dumbest thing possible and fires on her, blowing their cover and sending the entire crowd panicking with Basco and Juzo being cornered by the other Kyurangers and fighting back in their monster forms.

 But enough of that it's time to see where Demost was hiding the whole time. He was actually disguised as Tsurugi's female aid, having killed the real one in her apartment. Bootleg and Josuk3PO were sent by Shuu to investigate when he noticed the same perfume smell on both the aid and Bootleg from when Demost had him in a headlock in their earlier encounter. Now that the jig is up, Yera's master is safe and Demost finally kills Mele for her betrayal the 11 Kyuuurangers and Space Sheriffs work together to defeat Demost and put Basco, Juzo and Escape back in the ground. Actually it's not all that clear because even though Demost was defeated he wasn't killed so how does him getting beat up a bit lead to the three that he resurrected go back to being dead? Oh whatever the film's almost over, with Yera's master safe and Demost in Shuu and Geki's custody the Metal Heroes finally go back to their home universe and we'll never have to hear from Dumbluck and his goons again until we unfortunately have to deal with their team up movie with both the Lupinrangers and the Patrangers.

 So to wrap up the Space Sheriffs apologize to Jiraya for nearly killing himself keeping the portal open. But he doesn't care about that as another of the 12 Apostles of Genmakuu is out and is a pyromaniac as apparently he's been running around a planet and setting fires to skyscrapers, the latest one having killed 900 people! So we get the tease of the next Metal Hero that Geki will be working with, Fire AKA Ryouma Kagawa from Tokkei Winspector. So that was Kyuranger Vs Space Squad and spoilers like anything involving Kyuuranger it sucked like a Quantum Singularity. Though I fully admit that I have a major bias against this movie since Kyuuragner was as of this date the only Super Sentai that I ever gave up watching when it first premiered, the characters pissed me off that much. 

 That aspect is still carried over to this movie, Dumbluck is still insufferable and most of the core Kyuurangers are still as one note as when I last saw them. The only ones I don't have an issue with is Pine Tree and Tsurugi since they showed up after I quit the show and thus have nothing to be angry about with them. Another point of contention that I have is with the resurrected villains, most of whom cannot be resurrected due to their nature as AI in Escapes case and the reincarnation with Mele. Now I'm guessing that that the actors for these characters were the only ones available and the producers just didn't care so, meh whatever it was at least nice to see Basco back. Though the cynical side of me is telling me that the only reason why they even brought back past villains like this was to draw in the fans of those shows because they know that Kyuranger was a ratings disaster and were desperate to get anyone to watch this movie.

 Speaking of desperate it was painfully obvious that with the split team dynamic that Toei was trying to ape Captain America Civil War. But again they only copied the superficial aspects of what made it work. Now sometimes when Toei does this it can work, most prominently when they copied Twilight with Kamen Rider Kiva, they only used the "Vampires who sparkle" thing and that was thankfully it. But here, it just makes you want to see Civil War again. Honestly the only way I would recommend this is for the Space Squad ongoing story as it shows how Demost was defeated and sets up the Winspector team up for next time. 

 Now that this review is finally done with I can get on with a bit of a well deserved break for the holidays. And by that I mean I'll be focusing on my personal art, streams and Lets Plays until I feel the review itch again sometime after the New Year. So be sure to stick around for not only the rest of my Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep Lets Play but also my end of the year recap. Till then, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy Holidays and good cheer to all.

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Metal Heroes is owned by Toei Company.
Solomon Grundy is owned by DC Comics, created by Alfred Bester and Paul Reinman
Fullmetal Alchemist is owned by Studio Bones, Square-Enix, Funimation, Viz Media and Hiromu Arakawa.
Zombieland Saga is owned by MAPPA, Megumu Soramichi, Crunchyroll and Funimation.

Movie Review: Ralph Breaks the Internet: The special water (No Spoilers)

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain!, support me on Patreon and watch my Twitch Channel Every Saturday at 12:00 ET

Sorry but Deadpool still holds claim to that feat.

 The first Wreck it Ralph is honestly still a good movie, as a video game fan I love the little touches, retro callbacks and the side by side jokes comparing Arcade classics to modern gaming sensibilities and aesthetics and I really enjoyed the central idea of Ralph (played by John C. Reilly) as a Character, that even though he's a "bad guy" it doesn't mean that he's a bad guy. I also liked Vanellope (played by Sarah Silverman) as a knock back against the Disney Princess archetype and the cute little friendship she develops with Ralph as both are outsiders who find common ground. I even liked King Candy as a villain and for the whole "hit guy with glasses" bit that was really clever. All in all Wreck it Ralph was an enjoyable movie and I'm definitely looking forward to wrecking stuff with Ralph in Kingdom Hearts 3.

 I had to get all of that out of the way so that when I say that Ralph breaks the Internet falls short in comparison to the first one I don't have ravenous Disney fans out for my blood. Yeah, yeah a sequel doesn't live up to the original a sadly not uncommon story. But it's true, while the premise of the story is a good one and it does have some great moments and commentary it just sadly ends up as a less intellectually insulting version of the Emoji movie. I'm serious there's just as much product placement as the Emoji movie but it has an actual story behind it as opposed to just being a piece of brainwashing marketing, it's a contrived and drawn out story but at least it has a story.

 It takes place 6 years after the first movie (so in real time I guess?) Ralph and Vanellope are still being best buds and have a routine going on, but Vanellope is tired of the same old same old in Sugar Rush so Ralph tries to change up her course for her but it winds up with the Sugar Rush cabinet getting broken, unplugged and with the only available part costing $200 bucks on Ebay it looks like the game is going to be moved out in a few days leaving all of the Game Characters homeless unless Ralph and Vanellope use the new Wi-fi router to go into the internet, buy the part and save Sugar Rush before Fix it Felix and Calhoun (reprised by Jack McBrayer and Jane Lynch respectively) lose their minds after agreeing to adopt the Sugar Rush racers and learning that, surprise, surprise adopting 15 kids was a very stupid idea!

 Along the way they encounter a group of diverse characters, most prominently is Shank (played by Gal Gadot) who is a character from the Game "Slaughter Race" who gives Vanellope the challenge that she was looking for. Basically Slaughter Race is like Christmas Town for Vanellope, so new, so different and everything she was looking for, which causes more then a fair bit of jealousy to stir within Ralph. So if they get the part delivered to the Arcade, will it really just be like old times for Ralph and Vanellope? I mean as the song goes "How 'ya gonna keep'em down at the farm now that they've seen Paree", or in this case Detroit?

 As mentioned before there's a lot of advertisements in this movie for Ebay, Youtube, Amazon, twitter you get the idea. But unlike the Emoji movie aside from Ebay and Youtube (which is weird they have a location called Buzztube which I'm guessing the unholy fusion of Buzzfeed and Youtube even though we see adds for Youtube in the background it's odd) there's very little product placement in the foreground, it's mostly just background details, which is good though still questionable but in a movie about the internet as it is today these references are unfortunately unavoidable. So at least this could make a decent time capsule of internet culture as it is today if anything else. So while it's good that the movie doesn't focus on the advertisements and keeps its focus on Ralph and Vanellope it's not a whole lot to do. While Vanellope and her thoughts of Slaughter Race is a good angle to go with Ralph has unfortunately kind of regressed as a character due to his jealousy threatening to drive a wedge between him and his best friend.

 Though you'd think that after the first movie Ralph's friend count should have gone up by a few names it just kind of feels weird. Speaking of his friends as mentioned before Felix and Calhoun were practically gift wrapped their own sub-plot with them adopting the Sugar Rush racers but it's just dropped like a lead Elephant until the end of the movie for one joke. So if you were fans of the two, liked how they got together and wanted to see more of them in this new scenario, well tough taffy you're out of luck! Also we get some jokes about gamers and modern internet references. While some were a bit on the nose I did get a raised eyebrow about some of the topics that they talked about, I won't say what they are but it will lead to the most unexpected Arnold Schwarzenegger movie reference you'll ever find aside from the Kindergarten Cop School from the first Silent Hill game.

 Now if you feel like I'm being too negative there are some good scenes in this movie and they're both focused on Vanellope. First is the one that's in all of the advertisements, where she goes to a Disney website and meets the Disney Princesses. It's easily the best part of the movie with all of these different princesses interacting with each other, talking about the overused tropes of the archetype and the "Special Water" conversation. I don't know what I just saw but I'm cool with it. Also when Vanellope finds the special water, it lead to one of the most surreal musical numbers since the Cake Song in Madoka Rebellion, as I was watching I could only think of the Manperor's wise words.

 Though aside from that, Shank's crew and the once again surprising ending I don't really have a whole lot to say about Ralph Breaks the Internet. It honestly felt a bit "by the numbers" from Disney. Which is very weird, it feels like one of those straight to video Disney sequels that flooded the market back in the late 90's early 2000's but with better writing, a bigger budget and more product placement than Man of Steel. I didn't really go into this movie expecting something groundbreaking, really I just saw this on a whim but I'm kind of in a weird place, I'm not angry I thought it was just, ok. I figure that maybe they could have gone a bit farther with the "what kids are into" angle that they were hinting at with Slaughter Race and Buzztube like maybe Ralph interacting with characters from popular games that got big because of Youtube and streamers and that, like Ralph interacting with the FNAF characters but then that'd just be going into Fanfic territory and I'm not that far gone just yet. Or at the very least give us the Felix and Calhoun subplot like they set up or something.

 I guess I was kind of expecting more out of a movie where retro game characters go into the internet, but for what I got I wasn't bored so you know just like my review of the Happytime murders this is just one of those instances where you just have to ignore the hype and make the best judgement call around, yours. But as before at least I have Ralph fighting Heartless to look forward to. Now if you'll excuse me, I've prolonged my suffering for long enough, back to Dumbluck and his gang of idiots next week.

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

Ralph breaks the Internet is owned by Walt Disney Pictures, Walt Disney Animation Studios, Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Warhammer 40,000 is owned by Rick Priestly, Games Workshop and Citadel.

If the Emperor had a Text to Speech Device is owned by Bruva Alfabusa.

Tokusatsu Review: Uchu Sentai Kyuuranger vs Space Squad Part 1: Excelsior!

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain!, support me on Patreon and watch my Twitch Channel Every Saturday at 12:00 ET

In memory of Stanley Martin Leiber Aka Stan "The Man" Lee
 December 28th 1922-November 12th 2018

 Now before I talk about this movie there’s a recent event that needs to be addressed. Mr Stan Lee was an icon, whether through direct creation or with assistance from his various collaborators such as Jack Kirby or Steve Ditko he helped create some of the most iconic and long lasting characters in comics. From Spider-Man to Dr strange to the X-men and the Fantastic Four Stan’s influence can be seen not just in Marvel but all modern comics. For today’s purposes he was the man responsible for Super Sentai as it is today. After Marvel collaborated with Toei to produce the Spider-man Tokusatsu series Toei drew inspiration from that show, namely Spider-man’s giant robot the Marveler and borrowed the concept to revive the Sentai series after JAKQ Dengektai was cut short due to executive meddling due to Parent Watch groups complaining about the show’s more “graphic” nature.

 Originally Toei was going to adapt Captain America but that project was recycled for the Sentai project now rebranded as Super Sentai to differentiate it from Himitsu Sentai Goranger and JAKQ since they were created by Shotaro Ishinomori and thus under his name. But Stan’s influence on Sentai doesn’t end there, we could have gotten Sentai adaptations here in the states before Saban got lucky with Power Rangers. Originally Stan was trying to get either a dub or adaptation of Sun Vulcan but was rejected. So yes, without Stan Lee we wouldn’t have Super Sentai or even Tokusatsu as we know it today for good and for ill, and if people had listened to him we could have had much more Sentai content to inspire and entertain then we do today. So Stan, no matter what anyone says, you were the true believer and made true believers of us all, in that anyone can be a hero, all of humanity is equal and that righteousness and justice will always triumph over those whose hearts are only filled with evil, hatred and bigotry, to you we say, excelsior!

Well enough of the good stuff time to talk about a rookie legacy hero dealing with a group of 11 morons being dragged down by an even bigger moron who would most likely be the exact opposite of Stan’s super hero ideology. Though not right away as we open on another of the 12 Apostles of Genmaku finalizing his plan to the big boss, Fumein.

Who honestly looks like a more mobile and combat focused Alpha 5.

 However his plans are intercepted by Ninja Jiraiya (last seen looking like a dumbass with the Ninningers) and Space Sheriff Shaider. Before the two can put the Space Shinobi down he jumps through a dimensional hole and begins his plans to conquer an alternate universe. (Even though the movie keeps saying Galaxy it's really an alternate universe, that's the level of dumb we're dealing with here people, they can't tell the difference between a Galaxy and a universe.) Specifically the universe of the Kyuuranger, since it's been established that Kyuuranger takes place in an alternate universe keeping the main universe safe from Dumbluck's stupidity.

 Speaking of said universe the story picks up 4 years after the defeat of their big bad Don Armage. Everyone seems to have moved on with their lives and are enjoying the piece. Including the former Houoh Soldier Tsurugi Ohtori who's now the president of the new Galactic Federation and introduces new devices called NeoKyuutamas to a press conference which is basically a limitless Deus Ex Machina device. Which means it's perfect for an evil faction to steal the four prototypes for their malicious purposes, oh look, someone working for an evil organization stealing them for malicious purposes. But the thief is confronted by Spyro the Dumbass Dragon who reveals herself to be Yera Allon who only gets away because Spyro threw out his back after tripping on the unconscious guards, our mentor ladies and gentlemen!

 We then cut to Dumbluck meeting back up with Robo Bison before his 999th total defense match where the two catch up on how everyone's doing. While Dumbluck has been ignoring his duties as a king and has spent the last four years traveling (like the irresponsible moron that he is!) Leman Russ has a wife and kid meaning that his species won't go extinct so great for him, Sasuke Clone #3472 and some of the others are working with Spiro's organization Rebellion keeping the good fight going while Luigi Mario's restaurant chain is taking off like a rocket.  But while they start talking about Yera the news comes on about how she stole the Neo Kyuutama, so yeah awkward. But not as awkward as Tsurugi giving Sasuke Clone, Kurumi and Pine Tree (Koguma Skyblue) orders to bring her in so he can her her side of the story.

 But unless that story starts off with "this evil Space Ninja forced me to help him" I doubt you've got that much a defense case since we then see Yera giving Demost the NeoKyuutamas. So what does he do now that he has these incredibly powerful devices? He uses them like the Deus Ex Machina orbs that they are and resurrect four powerful General grade villains (at least two of which should be impossible). He brings back Mele from Gekiranger, Basco from Gokaiger, Escape from Go-busters and Juzo from Shinkenger.

 Ok, starting from the top, one they're in an alternate universe where these guys never existed so how the hell was Demost able to resurrect them? Two, Mele and Rio were heavily implied to have reincarnated after they were killed by Long at the end of Gekiranger so how the hell did she come back? I mean yeah she showed up for the Legendary War at the opening of Gokaiger but so did every other dead ranger so I guess God gave them a one time revival to take part in that war or something, best explanation I could come up with. Third, Escape has no soul to revive, she's an AI created by Messiah, and Messiah and the Vaglas aren't like the Geth from Mass Effect or Reploids from Mega Man X where their AI has progressed to the point of actually being mistaken for human, in other words these units do not have a Soul. Basco and Juzo I don't have an issue with though mostly because I never saw Shinkenger and thus don't know how things went with Juzo but I am not substituting what happened with Decker in Power Rangers Samurai for obvious reasons. But in short, less than 8 minutes in you've shat the bed movie.

 Also theses choices of revived bad guys make very little sense as apparently the spell only works on souls who have some form of lingering regret like the Revival Jutsu from Naruto but again these four make no sense. Maybe Basco and Juzo since Basco's a fun loving anarchist and Juzo is a bloodthirsty maniac respectively so maybe they just want more fun and carnage. But again Escape is an AI with no actual humanity. Hell even Mele points out that her resurrection makes no sense since she only cares for earning the love of her master Rio, but Demost fixes that with a good old fashioned brainwashing spell and sends the five on their way to attack the Kyuurangers.

 Basco starts off by attacking Sasuke Clone, Kurumi and Pine Tree claiming that he's working under Yera's orders, and they believe him like the morons that they are. Because this obviously untrustworthy Jack Sparrow knock-off looks like he would definitely be telling the truth about something like this, even though they fought beside each other and have known each other for at least 5 years and thus should know better, everyone in this movie is an idiot I thought you should know. While Escape launches a similar attack at Luigi Mario's restaurant Dumbluck and Robo Bison make tracks back to Earth to check in with Tsurugi and learn more. Along the way they run into a certain pervert in navy blue as well as Mele. As for Bootleg Spock and Josuk3PO they actually run into Yera but before they can talk Juzo covers her escape and duke it out with the two.

 The villains and Yera retreat but not before the perv, though the power of sexual assault and being a major grade A creep manages break though Mele's brainwashing just a bit before she withdraws as well. The perv introduces himself to Dumbluck and Robo Bison as Karasuma Shuu aka Space Sheriff Shaider which Dumbluck recognized after remembering his encounter with Geki. Proving that the two are friends Dumbluck takes Shuu with him to see Tsurugi. The group finally meet up and compare notes, though to make things complicated Bootleg and Josuk3PO arrive with a recording of their fight with Yera, Demost and Juzo; Shuu recognizing the Space Ninja from before. Knowing that Yera appears to be collaborating with a notorious criminal Tsurugi does the regrettable yet correct thing of putting an APB for her arrest.

 But of course since we can't have logic be a thing Dumbluck objects. Now normally he'd be right but the evidence is clear cut, now while they don't know the context behind this situation the facts are that she's infiltrated a government research center, stole four prototype power sources, has been seen collaborating with a notorious criminal and attacked her former comrades without any explanation. As for the defense all Dumbluck has is "don't you trust her you traitor?!" Not exactly an ironclad defense. Besides as Tsurugi points out a former hero turned criminal and the newly elected president who was her comrade not trying to stop her would undermine the new government that the people have placed their futures in after living under the tyranny of Jark Matter.

 Now anyone who's seen Gurren Lagann would point out that this sounds similar to the second half of the show where the Anti-Spiral attacked and Nina awoke as their harbinger. In that show, Simon later was arrested by Rossiu to quell the population after the initial Anti-Spiral attack to prepare the Ark Gurren for an emergency evacuation of the planet. The difference between then and now is that Simon went along with it; even agreeing to fight the Anti-Spiral with bombs installed into Gurren Lagann because he had to make sure that Rossiu's plan worked since he knew what was at stake and could see the bigger picture. Dumbluck by contrast can't see farther than his nose because he's a self-righteous moron who doesn't know the first thing about responsibility. Remember that he's apparently a King, yet he spent the last four years after Jark Matter's defeat wandering around space like he did when the show started, so in summation Dumbluck, you're a fucking moron!

 But because stupidity is contagious Robo Bison and Pine Tree go with him. So the muscle bound moron robot who exercises (even though he's a robot just like in Headmasters) and the pre-teen kid are the only ones on Dumbluck's side. If that doesn't tell you how wrong this putz is I have no idea. So after all of this idiocy I need a break. Come back next week as we skip past the fight scenes and learn why Yera is even working with Marvin the Ninja in the first place, spoilers it's really stupid.

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

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