Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Tokusatsu review Kamen Rider Taisen Part 3: The search for contenuity!

 From where we last left off we see Jin Badass riding down the coastline with Mari back to their clinic. I'm guessing that Mari is an employee, assistant or maybe a niece or granddaughter or something. Takumi, clearly as mystified by that incredible display of balls back at the dinner decided to follow the two to see what their deal is. Um, dude ever hear of just asking?
See, this guy knows not to be a creeper!
Now if I knew that some shady guy was following me and my young assistant I personally would have called the cops. Takumi doesn't even want anything from Jin he just, I don't know got bored I guess, hey writers, characters tend to have motivations behind their actions, don't have characters do things without a good reason! Otherwise it's just lazy writing! This awkward exchange is interrupted when more of Dr Jin's staff show up with a man who was injured in a drunken fight and is bleeding profusely. But is apparently strong enough to fling one of the guys holding him down like a frigging Frisbee!
Clearly an angry drunk, and an Olympian!
So after they remove the bloody glass shards out of the drunk's body, (which I won't be showing for obvious reasons) and manage to sedate him we cut to Takumi washing the blood off his hands when we get another flashback. Which I will get to when the time is right! Doc Badass thanks Takumi and tells him his full name. Keisuke Jin, who (if you've followed the links I gave in the prologue article) is the identity of Kamen Rider X. Takumi give his name to Jin, who then asks what it felt like saving a person. Takumi says that he's saved many already, which surprises Jin but notices that when Takumi said it he had a terrible expression on his face.
That expression being, Dull Surprise!
 But it's when Jin says that Takumi looks like a puppy in the rain looking for someone to take him home is when Takumi decides to leave. Jin asks what's troubling Takumi. Here is where we finally get to what I have been hinting at with this subplot. One of the biggest middle-fingers to continuity in this movie! And for those who haven't seen the reviews of Kamen Rider 555 that I posted, I'll go over this step by step.
Exhibit A The Arch Orphenoch 
This monster that Faiz is fighting? This is the Arch Orphenoch, the Orphenoch King, the leader of the monsters that Faiz was fighting against in his series and the big bad of said series.
Exhibit B, Kamen Rider Kaixa vs the Horse Orphenoch
The user of Kaixa in this scene is Masato Kusaka, the primary user of the Kaixa gear in this series. (I say that because in Faiz, the belt users change more times then most people change their underwear in a single week.) He is currently fighting the Horse Orphenoch, the second hero in Faiz.(He did turn into an anti hero at this point in the show so this can be forgiven.) His human identity, Yuji Kiba was the user of the Kaixa gear when the Orphenoch King was active. So for the Orphenoch King to be active, fighting Faiz, while the one who was using the Kaixa gear during the time the King was active to be fighting Kusaka as Kaixa is impossible! Especially when you remember that Kusaka died before the King was awakened. And to make things even better, this isn't even how Kusaka was killed in the series!
Exhibit C, Kusakas death.
Faiz wasn't even there when Kusaka died! Neither was the Horse Orphenoch! He was killed by Lucky Clover, the generals of the Orphenochs, who were working as the enforcers for the temporary leader of the Orphenochs before the King awakened.  Now, here's the big part, remember when I said that after Decade all the Heisei rider universes merged back together with the main Shōwa universe? That should have included how Kusaka prime died! And this has to be Faiz prime because all the on screen Riders that are in their civilian forms in this movie are played by their original actors, Takumi and Kusaka included! Whoever wrote this had no frigging idea what in the name of all things sacred they were doing were they? The only way that anyone could have made the continuity even worse was if this guy got involved!
No not that Mephesto!
 
This Mephesto!
Now I can't make any claims here, but I'm pretty damn Skippy that Toshiki Inoue, the guy that wrote Kamen Rider 555, he must have been pissed when he saw that scene! Now I have my own problems with Inoue's writing, which I'll cover when I talk about Jetman, but I at least know not to mess with another writers work like the writers of this movie did! But enough of that for now. Pony Boy then kills Kusaka, Kusaka asking why he had to die while Takumi has nothing to protect. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH! Yeah back to the series again. Don't worry this is actually in continuity with the series. The joke is that "what he has to protect" was not only Takumis love interest, but also someone Kusaka hit, when she found out that Kusaka was acting like a manipulative, lying psychopath that was responsible for several horrible things happening to the rest of the characters because he felt like she put him in the friend zone! One of the reasons I and most people hate Kusaka is that he wasn't much of a character, more of an avatar for Inoue to use to keep certain aggravating subplots going far beyond the point where they should have ended. By the way, one of those people he manipulated? Was said girl, he made it look like Takumi was assaulting him while she wasn't looking, to not only try to kick Takumi out, but to milk sympathy from her! Enough renting about Faiz the series for now and back to Faiz the character in this piece of garbage. Because this lying, psychotic bastard died, that is why Takumi refused to put on the Faiz gear again. What a crock. He tells Jin that because a comrade of his died fighting to protect someone he loved,
he has survivors guilt. The most we even get out of my previously described diatribe about their relationship is that Takumi calls him a creep. Understatement of the entire movie! But that even that nut-job had even more of a reason to live then him. He asks Jin what he should do, he says to figure it out for himself. Sage advice there Julia! I can see how you got your own clinic, tell me, did you look at the back of a matchbook or a cereal box to find the number of the quack school you went too? I personally would have pointed Takumi to a therapist who could talk to him about his survivors guilt and his feelings of pointlessness, but there goes me and my logic again. The most we get is Jin telling him to look towards the sea if he doesn't know. Get it? He says it's because the sea's good and accepts everything. The sea can also be terrifyingly destructive and swallow anything that goes into it like a whale eating a school of plankton, I can see you weren't much of a philosophy major either. Mari then breaks up the pity party by saying that it's dinner time. Takumi hesitant because it looks hot.
Doesn't look that spicy to me.
The next day Takumi decides to take Jin's wise and sagely advice while accompanying Mari with her grocery shopping. Good thing too since Tiger-Roid shows up again and fires, with Takumi's bike transforming into Auto-Vajin to block the blast. Tiger-Roid says that he'll kill Faiz exposing the identity to Mari. Tiger-Roid says to take Mari hostage, Takumi is about to put on the Faiz gear when Jin shows up to smack around the Combat-Roids.
Do you see this brooding, emo anti heroes? This guy is smarter then you!
Having enough of this crap Takumi finally transforms into Faiz and starts fighting the Badan goons saying that he can at least protect a child's future. Remember this! Faiz then goes into his Excel form to finish off Tiger-Roid. Now for another part of why I have issues with this movie, the Showa riders are all assholes in this movie! This example is Jin fighting Faiz next after he transforms into Kamen Rider X. We get another homage to X's original transformation sequence, which again is very faithful, but less faithful is that X starts to beat Faiz like a drum, Faiz not even fighting back trying to ask why X is trying to kill him not even getting a response out of him during the fight. Respect our elders my ass! X even repeats Tsukasa's line about dying if he doesn't fight! X finally finishing the fight by using his X Kick, forcing Faiz to power down. This fight scene really encapsulates the Shōwa rider's attitude in this movie. This fight doesn't make X look strong, it makes him look like a callous bastard for fighting a guy who doesn't even try to fight back, not even giving him a reason why he should fight back other then, he a Heisei Rider and has to fight, like X was a Capulet and Faiz was a Montague.
Easy for you to say when your opponent didn't even throw a punch, Faiz you!
Takumi's response is great, "What the hell?"
You said it Henry.
We then cut back to Futo where Tsukasa meets up with Shotaro who finally caught the dog. Since the Turtle is also in it's cage Tsukasa asks where Kaito is. Shotaro says that Kaito left saying that he'd leave the rest to Tsukasa.
I know the feeling.
Tsukasa then tells Shotaro about Badan and asks for his help. Shotaro says that if he left the city that there'd be no Rider to protect it.
Yep, No Rider whatsoever!
 Or do you not count as a Rider once you get married? Tsukasa calls him out on this saying that he just doesn't want to leave Futo. Tsukasa then asks if there was a boy named Shuu who's from Futo, Shotaro says that he knows everyone in Futo, and that the Shuu that he knows is. We then cut to a lighthouse on the coast with a woman waiting there, looking at a picture. Tsukasa then appears hearing the woman saying Shuu's name. This, somehow awakens Shuu back in Zawame who remembers that he used to live in Futo and that the woman was there. Shuu starts running towards Futo with Kouta not too far behind. Tsukasa asks the woman if she is Shuu's mother. We then cut to Shuu and Kouta arriving at the house shown in Shuu's flashback. He remembers that this is his house. He walks inside.
Where we see a memorial shrine for Shuu.
Yep, it turns out that Shuu has been dead this entire time. He finally starts to get his memories back, of the last day he was alive. His mother was working that day, she said that she had to go out of the country. Shuu wasn't happy since she promised to take him to the lighthouse that day, but she couldn't get out of the assignment. She offered to take him when she gets back, but apparently this happened more then a few times before and Shuu storms off calling her a liar. In the cab to the airport she gets a picture from Shuu on her Iphone, holding up a piece of paper saying "I hate you" in large pink letters. That was the last time she had heard from Shuu. She is of course sad considering that was Shuu's last message to her. But then again kid, what exactly was she supposed to do? Not leave on the assignment and risk getting fired? Yeah sure she might be out of a job but hey at least you got to go to the frigging lighthouse. And sure she did say that she would take him once she got back, but at least she offered. She knew that Shuu wanted to go, but he could have had a little bit of patience and waited! Sure, she apparently broke those types of promises before but at least she tried! Bah humbug, call me a heartless scrooge but just consider both side here okay? Anyway apparently Shuu was just trying to tease her, yeah kid telling your Mom that you hate her just because of circumstances beyond her control is apparently "teasing" in Japan, good to know that little factoid. Apparently he meant to tell her it was a trick when she got back but then this happened.
Didn't the Carrangers teach you anything kid?
This, aside from further proof that truck drivers in Japan are the most notorious murderers in their country shows how Shuu died. Now Shuu remembers what he can back to do, find his Mom and apologize by reversing his last message to her. Of course this gets interrupted when Fifteen shows up in his human form who Shuu says is his father!

What a twist! Which we will leave on for next time.

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Silent Hill 4: The Room is propriety of Konami Computer entertainment.
Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Deadfall is owned by Tristar Pictures and Christopher Coppola  

Blue Exorcist is propriety of Shueisha, Viz Media, Kazue Kato and Aniplex of America
Mephesto is propriety of Marvel Comics, Stan Lee and Sal Buscema 
Star Wars is Created by George Lucas, owned by Lucas film, the Walt Disney Company and 20th Century Fox