Monday, July 17, 2017

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Heisei Generations Part 1: This is better then Pixels by default.

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 What is this folks? It looks like a Kamen Rider Crossover movie, but it's actually good, and in cannon with the currently running rider series? That can't be right who created this, who wrote this? Let me check this out, ah now it makes sense. This movie was actually directed by Koichi Sakamoto (who everyone who grew up watching Zordon and Saban Era Power Rangers should know by now) and written by Yuya Takahashi the writer of Ex-Aid. Oh my god they actually put people who knew what the hell they were doing in charge of this production it's about time!

 Well with that glowing sign of quality let's jump right in and see what enjoyment we can have making fun of this movie. Though for those who are watching Ex-Aid be warned this movie contains spoilers and takes place between episodes 10 and 11 so keep that in mind for those who need to catch up. We open on another bright sunny day at Genm Corperation. The birds are singing, the office workers are greeting the front desk staff, the really, really, really ridiculously good looking Evil GQ models in lab-coats are killing the guards, wait what? Oh trust me their boss makes this even weirder as he's, a guy with an evil Pac-Man helmet.

 Kuroto knows a bullshit storm when he hears it so he tries to flee with the Proto Gashats but Zoolander, Valentina and Mongo get to him and threaten to blow his head off if they don't get the Proto Gashats and Bug Visor. Apparently all this is about was them collecting on their backpay since they, you know were apparently killed 6 years ago and came back for the sake of finishing Dr Pac-Man's research. Outside the cops swarm the building ready to gun them down until Mongo breaks out the Gekitotsu Robots Proto Gashat.

And that's when the cops realized that their guns were as useful

as boobs on a bull.
 The Mongo Bugster then proceeds to wreck the cops' shit in record time. We then cut to some High School students playing this universes counterpart of Bejeweled called Hatesate Puzzle when one of the girls of the group tells the game's creator Tougo that his game just hit 20 Million downloads. But he's not really concerned with that, no he's got far bigger ambitions then that.

 But before his fangirls can register the Sploosh their academy is attacked by thousands of tiny Pac-Men, some of who start chowing down on Tougo. We then cut to the Seto University hospital where Emu is helping a patient with his recovery when Asuna tells him there's an epidemic on the rise. Elsewhere Takeru Aka Kamen Rider Ghost is catching up on his schoolwork when Onari and Akari burst into the classroom to tell him about the crisis.

 Both groups connive on a massive swarm of Pac-Men and Emu and Takeru recognize each other's drivers. OH MY GOD CONTINUITY HOW I LOVE THEEE!!! After the two get their "hi how've you been" stuff out of the way the Pac-Men swarm on Takeru after munching on Power Pellets/Power Cookies and eat his Ghost powers so he can't transform into Ghost. Leaving Emu the only one able to take a swing to them so he transforms into Kamen Rider Ex-Aid and fights off the Pac-Men.

 After the title card Mongo's back at Dr Pac-Man's base who informs Zoolander and Valentina that they've found their target Tougo who luckily has been found by Takeru. Zoolander wastes no time and uses the Photo Drago Knight Hunter Z Gashat to become a Bugster and attacks. Ex-Aid changes into his Level 2 form to give the others time to get Tougo to safety. Valentina isn't having it though and chases the group to a garage where she pulls out her own Jian sword and fights Takeru. Needless to say both heroes get their asses kicked and hard.

 Dr Pac-Man shows up to show that he's the one giving everyone a literal case of Pac-Man fever (no really I thought he was spreading the Dig-Dug virus.) He then gloats and walks off, yep some other villain who got their advice from Mr Freeze. Back at CR they confirm that Tougo is infected but with an unknown strain of the Bugster virus. Afterwords the two groups get brought up to speed on the situation and come up with a solution to stop the Pac-Man virus, Ghost. Since as we all know Pac-Man's enemies are the four Ghosts the powers of Kamen Rider Ghost are needed to stop it. However Ghost is out of commission thanks to the Pac-Men having a Power lunch on him earlier. Kuroto comes in with Taiga and tells the group about the Proto Gahsats that Dr Pac-Man and his crew stole and to get them back no matter what. When Emu asks who they are Kuroto says that he has no idea.

 Tougo wakes up and surprise, surprise he's an asshole and wants out even though he's infected and the GQ demons are after him. Kagami, being the detached asshole that he is says if the patient wants out then let him. Up on the helipad Emu and Takeru talk about how awesome the other is, Takeru even revealing he still has the Ex-Aid Eyecon from the end of his series. Kuroto interjects asking for Takeru's Ghost Eyecon so he can come up with a countermeasure for Pac-Man.

 As for why Kagami let Tougo off? To use him as bait for Dr Pac-Man, though he at least does bring up the good point that there's thousands of lives at stake unless they get the cure for the Pac-Man virus so they can't exactly take the moral high ground in this situation. We then cut to Takeru, Akira and Onari going to see Shinosuke AKA Kamen Rider Drive to see if the three GQ goons have a record and if so a possible identity for Dr Pac-Man. Shinnosuke reveals that they all worked for the Next Genome research institute and that place was known for some really shady shit going down. He also gives them a name for Dr Pac-Man, Zaizen Michihiko. However there's a problem, all four of them died 6 years ago and all of their data was erased, all the police could recover was one video showing the four dying.

 Back with Emu Dr Pac-Man catches up to them and calls Takeru for back up. Shinnouske offers to help but since he doesn't have Krim he can't become Drive anymore so he just tells Takeru to be careful. Dr Pac-Man and his two goons corner Tougo and Emu saying that the entire point of the Pac-Man virus was to find Tougo specifically since he installed a Virus detection program into Pac-Man. Which virus, the Bugster Virus what else? But since Emu and Asuna  couldn't detect it in CR that can only mean one thing, Tougo has a brand new strain!
Which culminated into the Hatena Bugster.
 Takeru and the others arrive and reveal Dr Pac-Man's identity so Zaizen finally takes off that weird helmet and begins going on about his evil plans. Long story short he and his cohorts were trying to create a new life form from the Bugster Virus, something went wrong, they went to the game world, they escaped to complete their plans and they need the Hatena Bugster for their plans to come to fruition. Hatena attacks causing blocks to fall and several explosions in very close proximity to our heroes.

 Yet most if not all of Toei's heroes survive explosions like this so go figure. The good news is that Makoto and Alan drive to back the group up, bad news Akari and Takeru get caught in the blast of some of Hatena's block bombs yet surprisingly only Akari's on deaths door after that instead of both, I guess given how many times Takeru died and just came back during his show I thought the writer would have that excuse to kill him again for shits and giggles. Though I might not be that far off as both Takeru and Akari are infected with Hatena's Virus strain and will both die unless Hatena is killed in 24 hours, because of course it's 24 hours and not instantly since we need to feed the Drama Llama somehow!

 Speaking of drama Makoto and Alan get their asses kicked by Valentina and Emu gets beaten like a drum by Zoolander who literally did it single handedly, ok now that's funny. Zaizen uses the Bugvisor to capture Tougo while his two goons to finish off the riders. Thankfully they get more back up from Kiriya, Taiga and Kagami who also gives Emu the new Gashat from Kurt, the Kaigan Ghost Legendary Rider Gashat, so now they have a counter measure against Pac-Man without Takeru. Good thing too since Zaizen summons a Giant Pac-Man to cover his and Hatena's escape.

"Pac-Man's a bad guy?" There, that's as far as I will ever get to actually referencing that god awful piece of crap movie.
 Pac-Man then turns into a more monstrous form to chase down Takeru and Emu. Takeru has yet another inspirational courage boost which restores his Rider powers, because Pac-Man's yellow, the Heart of the Cards I don't know how folks either way this somehow helps Emu get over his own blue screen and uses the Kaigan Ghost Gashat to become Ghost Gamer Level 1. Back at Zaizen's base Mongo's finished creating the gene diagram needed for their goal, Zaizen has Hatena reconfigure his DNA to match the sequence. Both groups of secondary Riders force the goons to retreat but not without Makoto and Alan taking heavy damage. Back with the main riders Ghost uses the Ex-Aid Eyecon to gain the Ex-Aid Damashi and Ex-Aid levels up so the riders can double team Pac-Man and purify the virus, they succeeded and by defeating Pac-Man the Pac-Man fever epidemic is cured. So that's where we'll leave things for now check in next time for the defeat of Zaizen, the salvation of Akari and Takeru and some back up from some old friends.

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Archer is owned by Adam Reed, Floyd County Productions, Radical Axis and FX Productions.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 is owned by Joel Hodgson,  Best Brains, Syfy, Comedy Central and Shout Factory.
The Other guys is owned by Paramount Pictures and Adam McKay.