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| In memory of Stanley Martin Leiber Aka Stan "The Man" Lee December 28th 1922-November 12th 2018 |
Originally Toei was going to adapt Captain America but that project was recycled for the Sentai project now rebranded as Super Sentai to differentiate it from Himitsu Sentai Goranger and JAKQ since they were created by Shotaro Ishinomori and thus under his name. But Stan’s influence on Sentai doesn’t end there, we could have gotten Sentai adaptations here in the states before Saban got lucky with Power Rangers. Originally Stan was trying to get either a dub or adaptation of Sun Vulcan but was rejected. So yes, without Stan Lee we wouldn’t have Super Sentai or even Tokusatsu as we know it today for good and for ill, and if people had listened to him we could have had much more Sentai content to inspire and entertain then we do today. So Stan, no matter what anyone says, you were the true believer and made true believers of us all, in that anyone can be a hero, all of humanity is equal and that righteousness and justice will always triumph over those whose hearts are only filled with evil, hatred and bigotry, to you we say, excelsior!
Well enough of the good stuff time to talk about a rookie legacy hero dealing with a group of 11 morons being dragged down by an even bigger moron who would most likely be the exact opposite of Stan’s super hero ideology. Though not right away as we open on another of the 12 Apostles of Genmaku finalizing his plan to the big boss, Fumein.
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| Who honestly looks like a more mobile and combat focused Alpha 5. |
Speaking of said universe the story picks up 4 years after the defeat of their big bad Don Armage. Everyone seems to have moved on with their lives and are enjoying the piece. Including the former Houoh Soldier Tsurugi Ohtori who's now the president of the new Galactic Federation and introduces new devices called NeoKyuutamas to a press conference which is basically a limitless Deus Ex Machina device. Which means it's perfect for an evil faction to steal the four prototypes for their malicious purposes, oh look, someone working for an evil organization stealing them for malicious purposes. But the thief is confronted by Spyro the Dumbass Dragon who reveals herself to be Yera Allon who only gets away because Spyro threw out his back after tripping on the unconscious guards, our mentor ladies and gentlemen!
We then cut to Dumbluck meeting back up with Robo Bison before his 999th total defense match where the two catch up on how everyone's doing. While Dumbluck has been ignoring his duties as a king and has spent the last four years traveling (like the irresponsible moron that he is!) Leman Russ has a wife and kid meaning that his species won't go extinct so great for him, Sasuke Clone #3472 and some of the others are working with Spiro's organization Rebellion keeping the good fight going while Luigi Mario's restaurant chain is taking off like a rocket. But while they start talking about Yera the news comes on about how she stole the Neo Kyuutama, so yeah awkward. But not as awkward as Tsurugi giving Sasuke Clone, Kurumi and Pine Tree (Koguma Skyblue) orders to bring her in so he can her her side of the story.
But unless that story starts off with "this evil Space Ninja forced me to help him" I doubt you've got that much a defense case since we then see Yera giving Demost the NeoKyuutamas. So what does he do now that he has these incredibly powerful devices? He uses them like the Deus Ex Machina orbs that they are and resurrect four powerful General grade villains (at least two of which should be impossible). He brings back Mele from Gekiranger, Basco from Gokaiger, Escape from Go-busters and Juzo from Shinkenger.
Ok, starting from the top, one they're in an alternate universe where these guys never existed so how the hell was Demost able to resurrect them? Two, Mele and Rio were heavily implied to have reincarnated after they were killed by Long at the end of Gekiranger so how the hell did she come back? I mean yeah she showed up for the Legendary War at the opening of Gokaiger but so did every other dead ranger so I guess God gave them a one time revival to take part in that war or something, best explanation I could come up with. Third, Escape has no soul to revive, she's an AI created by Messiah, and Messiah and the Vaglas aren't like the Geth from Mass Effect or Reploids from Mega Man X where their AI has progressed to the point of actually being mistaken for human, in other words these units do not have a Soul. Basco and Juzo I don't have an issue with though mostly because I never saw Shinkenger and thus don't know how things went with Juzo but I am not substituting what happened with Decker in Power Rangers Samurai for obvious reasons. But in short, less than 8 minutes in you've shat the bed movie.
Also theses choices of revived bad guys make very little sense as apparently the spell only works on souls who have some form of lingering regret like the Revival Jutsu from Naruto but again these four make no sense. Maybe Basco and Juzo since Basco's a fun loving anarchist and Juzo is a bloodthirsty maniac respectively so maybe they just want more fun and carnage. But again Escape is an AI with no actual humanity. Hell even Mele points out that her resurrection makes no sense since she only cares for earning the love of her master Rio, but Demost fixes that with a good old fashioned brainwashing spell and sends the five on their way to attack the Kyuurangers.
Basco starts off by attacking Sasuke Clone, Kurumi and Pine Tree claiming that he's working under Yera's orders, and they believe him like the morons that they are. Because this obviously untrustworthy Jack Sparrow knock-off looks like he would definitely be telling the truth about something like this, even though they fought beside each other and have known each other for at least 5 years and thus should know better, everyone in this movie is an idiot I thought you should know. While Escape launches a similar attack at Luigi Mario's restaurant Dumbluck and Robo Bison make tracks back to Earth to check in with Tsurugi and learn more. Along the way they run into a certain pervert in navy blue as well as Mele. As for Bootleg Spock and Josuk3PO they actually run into Yera but before they can talk Juzo covers her escape and duke it out with the two.
The villains and Yera retreat but not before the perv, though the power of sexual assault and being a major grade A creep manages break though Mele's brainwashing just a bit before she withdraws as well. The perv introduces himself to Dumbluck and Robo Bison as Karasuma Shuu aka Space Sheriff Shaider which Dumbluck recognized after remembering his encounter with Geki. Proving that the two are friends Dumbluck takes Shuu with him to see Tsurugi. The group finally meet up and compare notes, though to make things complicated Bootleg and Josuk3PO arrive with a recording of their fight with Yera, Demost and Juzo; Shuu recognizing the Space Ninja from before. Knowing that Yera appears to be collaborating with a notorious criminal Tsurugi does the regrettable yet correct thing of putting an APB for her arrest.
But of course since we can't have logic be a thing Dumbluck objects. Now normally he'd be right but the evidence is clear cut, now while they don't know the context behind this situation the facts are that she's infiltrated a government research center, stole four prototype power sources, has been seen collaborating with a notorious criminal and attacked her former comrades without any explanation. As for the defense all Dumbluck has is "don't you trust her you traitor?!" Not exactly an ironclad defense. Besides as Tsurugi points out a former hero turned criminal and the newly elected president who was her comrade not trying to stop her would undermine the new government that the people have placed their futures in after living under the tyranny of Jark Matter.
Now anyone who's seen Gurren Lagann would point out that this sounds similar to the second half of the show where the Anti-Spiral attacked and Nina awoke as their harbinger. In that show, Simon later was arrested by Rossiu to quell the population after the initial Anti-Spiral attack to prepare the Ark Gurren for an emergency evacuation of the planet. The difference between then and now is that Simon went along with it; even agreeing to fight the Anti-Spiral with bombs installed into Gurren Lagann because he had to make sure that Rossiu's plan worked since he knew what was at stake and could see the bigger picture. Dumbluck by contrast can't see farther than his nose because he's a self-righteous moron who doesn't know the first thing about responsibility. Remember that he's apparently a King, yet he spent the last four years after Jark Matter's defeat wandering around space like he did when the show started, so in summation Dumbluck, you're a fucking moron!
But because stupidity is contagious Robo Bison and Pine Tree go with him. So the muscle bound moron robot who exercises (even though he's a robot just like in Headmasters) and the pre-teen kid are the only ones on Dumbluck's side. If that doesn't tell you how wrong this putz is I have no idea. So after all of this idiocy I need a break. Come back next week as we skip past the fight scenes and learn why Yera is even working with Marvin the Ninja in the first place, spoilers it's really stupid.
Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.
Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Metal Heroes is owned by Toei Company.
Nostalgia Critic is owned by Doug Walker and Channel Awesome.
Star Trek The Next Generation is owned by Gene Roddenberry, Paramount Domestic Television, and CBS Television Distribution.
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