Movie Review: Deadpool 2: Check out those Double D's! (No Spoilers)

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Domino and Dick bag, what'd you think I meant by that? You pervs.

 Ah, nothing short of a masterpiece. Why is it a masterpiece, because like all of the greats it starts with a bang! IE starting the story In media res, again. You remember when I said that life is a series of train-wrecks with only brief commercial like breaks of happiness? Well apparently the jack-off screen writer did and boy did they have a doozy waiting for me. 

 Not saying what (cause I'm just such a nice guy) though all I'll say is that I had my Uncle Ben moment. Hey Tom Holland, just me taking one right up the turd launcher for the team, see you when I see you once the whole X-Men, Fox buy out whatever gets resolved! Also you better bring in Bronson Pinchot he was the best part of your debut work! Back to the category 5 shit tornado that is my life, now that I had my own Green Lantern reboot I did the intro then Captain Titanium Twinkletits pulls me out of the wreckage both figuratively and literally and drafts me into the Super-powered Heavens Gate resort staff with my old pal Starlight Glimmer and her girlfriend Pinkie-Pie. (Still BFFS BTW, LOL #Deathbattlerules #DPstillbetterthenDS)

 I told him this was a bad idea and like Cassandra I was sooooo right but did anyone care to listen? Well the movie goes on for an hour and a half so what do you think? So we get a job to take care of this kid Russel who was dumped into a real shithole run by some westboro baptist pedo types so I popped the one who looked like Jared Leto from Suicide Squad which got me and the kid sent to the Ice Box, basically Git-Mo for mutants. But if that wasn't enough, now some John Conner looking tool called Cable went back in time to blow Russels brains out because according to him he's the Rainmaker and now I have to be the Joseph Gordon Levet to his Bruce Willis. Welp, I guess I need to start learning Chinese then. (hindsight might help with the opening, so on my to do list along side Betty White, Al, Domino and especially sticking it sideways to Logan)

 But I'm not doing this alone, no no if I'm going down I'm taking as many assholes as I can with me. So me and Weasel put out some flyers and we wound up with X-Force. Its members are of course me, king Deathbringer and love machine DP. Next is Shatter-star, some jackass alien who's power is being better then everyone else. We also recruited Ceaser from the Expendables, Pennywise, the easiest casting choice ever, my sugar bear Peter and last but most certainly not least Domino. What's her deal? She has literal luck powers.

Also, if any of you try to compare my fat stack to this limp dick? Then you'll be bumped right to the top of my to do list!

 So as for Cable, you know when you see a guy who carries that many guns as well as a burnt teddy bear with him wherever he goes, you just have to know he's fucked in the head. As if him trying to kill a kid wasn't enough to convey that notion. But you just look at this guy and you'll get the feeling that this wasn't the most messed up decision he's gone through with, much less the most recent one. But I'm not gonna say anymore here cause, again, nice guy underneath the Freddy Krueger cosplay. So nice that maybe I'll treat him to a nice big grape soda once this is over, maybe watch a sunset on a farm somewhere and see where it goes from there, (all the homo, no shame). 

 With all that said go see my movie, do it, seriously stop reading and go. Ok fine, the fights are even more kickass then the first movie. You get to hear all of the jokes you loved the first time around and even some pay off to some from the first movie. Also yes we get a much better third act, mostly due to me having more dill weeds to play off of. Now see ya'll in the MCU I cannot WAIT to see how that's all gonna shape up, either way it'll still be better then DC that's for sure.  


In memory of Joi "SJ" Harris 

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

Deadpool 2 is owned by 20th Century Fox, Marvel Entertainment and The Donners' Company Based on Characters created by Fabian Nicieza and Rob Lefeld (Kinda sorta)
Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.