Friday, March 18, 2016

Movie Review: Back to the Future 3 Part 4: ハカセ、参上!!!

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For a recap of my thoughts on the movies so far here are the links to my previous reviews. Where we last left our heroes Doc was getting hammered after Clara dumped him like a sack of potatoes. But that aside it's the big day and Marty wakes to see that Doc's nowhere to be found. He checks the photo and sees that the date September 7th 1885 is on the tombstone. Meanwhile Tannen and his goons wake up and head for town early. Marty manages to track down Doc to the saloon where Doc was giving spoilers in a depressed stupor. After Marty reminds him what movie he's in Doc knocks back his whisky and promptly passes out. Yep he is one dude who can't hold his booze to save his life. (Still not as bad as Homura.)
"I know how you feel Tamura but man that was one crazy Yom Kippur!"
 Marty tries to wake Doc but nothing seemed to work until the bartender whips up some "wake up juice" which in 10 minutes would wake Doc up. They feed Doc the concoction which sends him screaming to the water trough. But knocks him back out again, apparently the initial reaction was just a reflex. Seamus shows up saying that his gut was telling him to be there that morning, as if his future had something to do with it. But he's not the only guest at this party as Tannen shows up calling out for Marty. Tannen calls Marty a coward again and when Marty checks the photo the tombstones name is changed to Clint Eastwood aka Marty. Everybody in the saloon tells Marty to go and fight him or else he's going to be labeled a coward, and after Marty thinks it over he comes to an important realization.  

 With the plot convenience fairy sated Doc then finally wakes up and the two try to sneak around the back but the two get pined down by Tannen's men, Doc gets caught and held as a hostage when Marty notices an iron oven door on the ground. Meanwhile Clara just boarded the train when she overheard the conversation of one of the people Doc was spilling his heart out to last night and when she learned that he truly felt horrible for breaking her heart she stopped the train and ran off to his workshop where she finds his model of the plan. Back to the hostage situation Marty goes out to save Doc and tries to ask Tannen if they can settle this like men and duke it out but this Tannen isn't that stupid and shoots Marty right in the chest.

 With Marty on the ground Tannen struts over to his body in victory. Tannen aims his gun at Marty's head to double-tap when Marty kicks the gun out of his hand, and when Tannen punches him in the chest and howls in pain it's revealed that Marty used the oven door as a makeshift bulletproof vest ( not sure if Mythbusters debunked that or not) Marty then takes Tannen for a ride on the pain train, one stop included Tannen breaking the tombstone in half. Marty ends the ride by knocking Tannen's lights out which of course prompts Tannen to fall into a wagon full of manure.

 The marshal and his men show up to arrest Tannen and his men. With their demise averted for now  all that's left for Marty and Doc is to catch the train. They manage to catch up to it, hijack it and uncoupled the cars right before the switch track. The two then drive the train to the Delorian where Doc retrieves three specially treated logs to get the train up to 88mph. During the whole operation Clara managed to catch up to the train forcing Marty to leave Doc and the hover board behind to save her. Long story short the plan worked and the Delorian reached 88mph just before the train fell off the ravine. 

 After a really good transition Marty rode the Delorian across Eastwood ravine and back to hill valley October 27th 1985 11:00 am. Just in time to catch the train which promptly crushes the time machine into scrap. Marty makes it back to his house and everything is as he left it at the end of the first movie, Biff is the Mcfly butt monkey, his family are still successful and Jen is safe and sound. The two take a drive in Marty's truck when Needles and his gang challenges Marty to a race. All it takes is for Needles to call Marty chicken to get the engines revving. But instead of going with the assholes suggestion Marty goes in reverse and manages to avoid crashing into the Roles Royce. Jen then pulls out the fired fax she save and the message fades away.

 Later Marty takes Jen to the remains of the Delorian and accepts that Doc's gone for good. However the train gates lower and then a familiar boom is heard when a strange vehicle comes down from the sky.
NO GOD NO NOT THAT!
 It's actually a giant train that comes out of nowhere with the initials ELB on the sides revealing Doc, Clara and their sons Jules and Verne.

 How the hell did Doc manage to whip up another time machine?! He was stuck in 1885 with no possible way to recreate the flux capacitor, the time circuits or any way to generate the 1.21 gigawats needed to power said flux capacitor whatsoever?! I mean yeah he could have recreated those logs to get the engine hot enough and he did have the hover board so he theoretically could have reverse engineered the hover board to recreate the hover technology but how could he since the tech to recreate said hovering probably wouldn't be invented until at least 2005 in their universe?! (But then again Mac Guiver and Quarians can do a hell of a lot more with a hell of a lot less so there you go.)

 For that matter, WHY would he make another one?! He was going on and on about how time travel is dangerous and the machine should be reduced to scrap so WHY DID THIS HYPOCRITICAL ASS MAKE ANOTHER ONE?! Oh yeah so he and his family can make the space time continuum into a hellish pretzel for the LOL's if I had to guess. Anyway Doc tells the two that the future is theirs to make so make it a good one. So the movie ends with the Swiss family Brown flying their time train off to parts unknown. (Though if I had to guess, the animated series as well as racing the Den-liner on their free days.) 
"Eat my dust you overgrown peach cobbler!!!"

"Kiss my Ass Oldman!!!"

So that's Back to the Future and do I honestly need to say anymore? It's one of the best trilogies of all time and it's a personal favorite of mine and most likely yours. But the story of Doc Brown and Marty McFly aren't done yet, check in a few weeks later as we see the continuing adventures of these two and their attempts to make the Time Space continuum into a Picasso painting for their own benefits!

Back to the Future is owned by Robbert Zebecks, Bob Gale, Stephen Spielberg, Ambling Entertainment  and Universal Studios.
Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Puella Magi Homura Tamura is owned by Magica Quartet, Afro and Yen Press.
Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure is owned by Kenn Viselman Presents, Big Balloon Adventure Movie, and Freestyle Releasing.
Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney is owned by Capcom and Shu Takumi.