Thursday, August 20, 2015

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Drive & Gaim Taisen Full Trottle Part 2: Red, Green or Gold Jacket? (Spoilers)

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 Last time on Movie War Full Throttle; we had the Ed, Edd and Eddy Star destroying Zawame, Kouta getting killed and revived and Micchi got redemption/ trauma all in the span of 30 minutes. So now time to join with Drive and take care of a thief..... Yeah more then a bit of a downgrade eh? I'll get to this later but for now; Drives part. It starts off with Shinnosuke giving a brief recap of the Global Freeze and how the SCD are being called in to deal with the "Legendary Gentleman Thief; Ultimate Lupin"
And it turns out that Tuxedo Mask has turned to a life of crime to support himself and the meatball head. Can't really blame the guy.
 He not only manages to blow up cop cars with a wave of his wrist but the most important part is that he can generate the Heaviness which is what he uses to dodge the cops' bullets. He almost gets away but Shinnosuke and Kiriko are on the scene to stop him and sure enough Lupin turns out to be a Roidmude in a black coat. Shinnosuke transforms into Drive to stop him but Lupin manages to get away but not without Krim noticing something familiar about the Roidmude's body. We cut back to the SCD HQ at the driving school where Chief Jun says that the higher ups are threatening to shut them down if the unit doesn't make progress in capturing Lupin. But of course without these clowns nobody will be able to investigate the Roidmudes. TOTALLY SMRT!
#Noshit
 Gen gives the group a picture of the man that Shinnosuke and Kiriko saw the Roidmude impersonating.
His name is Zoruku Tojo, and judging by that photo he should be far older then he should be. Or frozen with Leo DiCaprio either way.
 Shinnosuke and Krim meanwhile are lost in thought. While the two were talking there was a surge of the Heaviness. Kiriko shows up and says that Lupin left a card.
Aw he even has his logo on it, that's just cute. Real Fucking Cute!
 Yep he's calling them out, but with Lupin's ego fueled call out and Rinna's new Heaviness negater Shinnosuke and the SCD are ready for him. Meanwhile Heart and Brain are discussing the appearance of Lupin when Chase (this movie takes place between episodes 9 & 10 so Chase is still under Brain and Hearts control) offers to take Lupin out. The next day the convoy carrying the statue is en route to its destination. Everything seems to be going well until the Heaviness kicks in. Shinnosuke stops Tridorn but the truck carrying the statue is still going.

 So yeah, the obvious happens and the truck driver is Tojo, using the Roidmude's camouflage powers to disguise himself as the truck driver. Now I'm not going to get pissed about this because the police literally couldn't suspect Roidmude involvement with Lupin since at this point in the series the police's knowledge of Roidmudes were suppressed by the powers of Roidmude 001, the Freeze Roidmude who was disguised as the secretary of the national defense forces. So in hindsight this actually makes sense since the police's memories of Roidmudes were suppressed, but when this came out oh boy would I have been calling BS on the police's perceived incompetence.

 Back to the plot Shinnosuke sees Tojo drive with the statue and transforms to give chase in Tridoron. During the chase Gen turned out to be hiding in the truck in case something like this happened and equipped with Rinna's device manages to get to the cab. But Tojo just shorts out the device making Gen susceptible to the Heaviness. Drive manages to save him but Tojo uses his powers to slam cars into each other creating an explosion/roadblock and manages to escape to his castle hideout. Krim however recognizes the castle and drives Drive to the castle.

 Once inside Krim's worst fears are realized as inside the castle they find a Stasis Pod. but instead of a Maximal protoform or Supergirl this one was used to store Cyberoid ZZZ (pronounced 3Z). Tojo shows up and goads Krim to tell Shinnosuke the whole story. ZZZ would have been the body that Krim would have moved his consciousness to after he was killed by the Roidmudes. But the body required strong mental fortitude to control it and on top of his many other problems Krim has confidence issues, so he couldn't use it and thus had to transfer himself to the Drive Driver instead.
Though considering choosing between this ugly thing and the belt. Nah Tojo still got the better option here.
Then the Global Freeze happened and the elderly Zoruku Tojo learned about the Roidmudes, Kamen Riders and and somehow figured out where Krim stored ZZZ and went to the castle and transferred his consciousness into ZZZ. Okay how? Who told him where ZZZ was? Why did they think that a retired thief could use the thing when the guy who created it couldn't? Say it with me kids, its never explained! But then again it could just be
Decade!
 No no if anything it was you now piss off and don't come back until you actually find a point for your existence! Back this brand of crazy, Tojo then declares that now that he's essentially immortal his next heist is to become a hero. But of course being nuttier then an almond joy he has a hate on for Krim and Shinnosuke since the two are shtick dreks in his eyes and unworthy of the title of Kamen Rider due to them being a weakling sentient belt and a greenhorn.

 However Chase has shown up and has heard enough, declaring that a human using the power of the Roidmudes is unforgivable and has come to kill Tojo with the help of Roidmudes 014, 020 and 061. Chase then transforms into Mashin Chaser as Tojo pulls out his own Break Gunner called the Lupin Gunner and transforms.
At least he's modest.
 To show his new power Lupin takes out the three Roidmudes in less then a second, and adding insult to injury steals the data from their three bodies and crushes their cores. This pisses Chaser off something fierce and the two fight, well not exactly fight so much as Chaser flailing angrily while Lupin kicks his ass and not even breaking a sweat. Lupin then takes Chaser out with one attack so that he can now fight Shinnosuke without any interruptions. Krim tells Shinnosuke to retreat but when Lupin starts laying down the trash talk it flips Shinnosuke's switch and transforms to fight him. It doesn't go well even with Type Wild Drive still gets his ass handed to him on a silver platter.

 Even when Shinnosuke is forced to power down, he still gets up saying he didn't hear no bell, he was only down for three. Lupin then fires a kill shot but Krim ejects from Shinnosuke's waist and takes the shot, frying him. In his dying words Krim tells Shinnosuke to stop Lupin at any cost. As Shinnosuke kneels over sobbing Lupin comes over to pour salty lemon juice in the wound by punching him in the jaw and declaring that the title of Kamen Rider is his now and just pimps off, like a boss.

 Shinnosuke wakes up at the Drive Pit looked over by Kiriko and Rinna who tell him that the Drive Driver is too badly damaged and that it might be impossible to fix.
Well at least she's showing concern, she usually doesn't smile like that, but I guess there are exceptions to every rule.
The two then leave Shinnosuke alone. After some reflection and clips of encouragement from the Shift Cars Shinnosuke has one of his patented revelations and rushes off. Then Kamen Rider Mach comes out of the shadows to basically give his premiere teaser. Meanwhile the SCD gets another challenge from Lupin.
Well at least he updated his business card.
But before everyone goes nuts (as opposed to how they normally are?) Shinnosuke calls and says that he's cornered Lupin and asks for everyone's help to take him down. They meet up at an abandoned Church (because reasons) once everyone is inside Shinnosuke locks the doors saying that he's cornered Lupin, how? Because one of the five is Lupin in disguise! They were swapped out since the first Lupin case since only once he was disguised as one of them could he sabotage Rinna's device and have a front row seat for the SCD's plans to stop him. But now he's trapped and only one of the five people with Shinnosuke is Lupin.
Boss, I'm being super duper mega cereal! Also good god that face!
Now that my nightmares for the next week are in place; I mean the suspects are in place Shinnosuke declares that Kiriko is Lupin. Tojo then drops the act and reveals himself to everyone.
The big tip off was back when "Kiriko" told Shinnosuke to cheer up, she was smiling, and they've established that she's not one to smile casually and only does so when Shinnosuke shows courage. Tojo then transforms into Kamen Rider Lupin and jumps out the Stain-glass windows behind him and gets on a balloon. He then reminds Shinnosuke that if he's there, where's the real Kiriko? Why being held hostage by a numberless Spider Roidmude of course. If Shinnosuke tries to follow him Lupin will have the Roidmude cut the tread and drop her to her death.

 As Lupin is about to attack a building Shinnosuke leaps out of Tridoron and on to the balloon saying that once he's done with Lupin he'll save Kiriko. Of course it's easier said then done as Lupin just kicks Shinnosuke off the balloon. As he's falling the thread holding Kiriko snaps and she starts to fall. But with his determination and help from the Shift Cars Shinnosuke manages to restore Krim and become Drive again with Tridoron saving Kiriko and destroying the Core-less Spider Roidmude. For his next trick Drive shoots at Lupin with his assistant Chaser knocking him off the balloon.

 Chaser wants payback and is even willing to work with Drive this one time to destroy Lupin. Lupin then calls in some backup using his Lupin Gunner to recreate the two Bat and Cobra Roidmudes he destroyed earlier. Chaser takes care of the Roidmudes while Drive faces off with Lupin. With some help form Kiriko Drive manages to defeat Lupin. Tojo gives back the title of Kamen Rider, more then happy to be a part of the fight.

 With that his core leaves the ZZZ body and retreats, Chaser and Mach take their leave as well. But we're not done yet kiddies.
Oh yeah, the Big Yeti Star.
 Megahex shows up and then absorbs ZZZ.
Becoming ZZZ Megahex, how creative.
So now he's uglier, stronger and gold, yeah that's not good. Megahex then retreats back to its main body with Shinnosuke in hot pursuit. Which we'll cover next time and see that even gods have their stupid days.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Archer is owned by Adam Reed, Floyd County Productions, Radical Axis and FX Producions.

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Drive & Gaim Taisen Full Trottle Part 1: Don't piss off the God of Love! (Spoilers)

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 Time for us to talk about my current favorite Rider series again. Now let me make this absolutely clear, this will obviously take place after the events of Gaim so if you really don't want spoilers for this show and another show that Urobuchi wrote ( both of which I highly recommend by the way) which I will be making a major reference to; watch the show because there's no going back after this.
 We open on, uuuuumm Planet Heaven I guess?
I mean it's a tranquil spherical dwarf planet that has lush vegetation, beautiful surroundings and has two gods living on it so what else can I call it? 
 I say that since we can see Kouta as the man of the beginning standing among the flora and fauna of his and Mai's planet. It's just a typical day for him when a giant metal structure falls out of the sky and starts anchoring itself to the planet, launching out robotic spores which are causing major damage around their impact points as well as assimilating anything that comes in contact with its technological type of field projected from the spores which is how it manages to revert The Woman of the Beginning back to Mai and capture her. So not even five minutes in to the movie and we now know that our enemy is capable of powering down and capturing gods eh?
 Especially when we see our movie exclusive big bad; Megahex.
I believe that translates to "U mad Bro?"
 Kouta is of course pissed off that this guy essentially broke into his house, used his Grandma's ash jar as a chamber pot, broke his TV then told him to pay him for the privilege of being graced by his presence so the two start fighting. However Megahex grabs Kouta's head and starts to absorb data from him, including his language so now he can speak fluent Japanese. If only that were so simple in real life am I right? Kouta then transforms into Kiwami Arms and begins to lay the smack-down on this fool.

 However during their DBZ style fight Megahex asks why Gaim is so concerned over a single individual when all should be fused with Megahex. Gaim of course refuses to listen and keeps attacking Megahex. Megahex however manages to overpower Gaim and accesses more of his memories such as the Lockseeds, his friends and more importantly; Earth and thus makes it his new target. Gaim tries to stop him as we cut to the Gaim portion's title card.

 Back on Earth we see how Zawame City has been rebuilt after the Helheim invasion. After some catching up scenes with the rest of the Armored Riders they notice the portal over Earth and Gaim trying to keep Megahex back and now I have no choice but to address this little tidbit about Megahex. He's basically an amalgamation of four different villains. The first is obvious, not only with how he goes on about how all life should be part of Megahex, rejecting the individual for the collective, not to mention the whole assimilation and robot thing; but the clincher is this line,
he's the Borg from Star Trek. Now I won't tell what the other quarters are just yet, I'll save it for when those parts come up.
 Anyway Megaborg keeps pushing his energy attack forcing Gaim to collide with Zawame causing a massive explosion whose after shocks cause destruction across the entire city. Gaim barely managed to survive the blast when Megahex comes down to finish him off. Gaim holds Megahex with the Helheim vines and hits him with not only his DJ Gun but also with his Kiwami Squash Rider Kick destroying him, but not really as another one shows up and sneak attacks Gaim and as the others watch in horror as Kouta is killed after Megahex rips out the Kiwami Arms Lockseed.

 Yep Kouta was killed and he was ripped apart from his godly power. Hang on a second, a god ripped from their power, created by Gen Urobutchi, happens in a movie that takes place after their series concluded? Oh no, oh god no!
Oh crap-baskets!
 Game over man game over! Yeah it's superficial but it's there, Megahex pulled a Homura and split a god in half, sure the context and motivations are astoundingly different (and somewhat complicated in Homura's case) but aside from those the only difference is when Homura split a god she kept the human half while Megahex took the God half. Speaking of that's one half of my references down, two more to go.

 Once it got what it wanted from Kouta, the God of Love then starts to recreate the planet in it's own image by absorbing people, the surrounding area and sending down the robo plant thing to spread its spores to absorb more. Takatora confronts Megahex who just gives its Borg shtick again and flies off. The assimilation wave continues to spread absorbing everything in its path until Micchi confronts Megahex near the robo flower. But before he can transform Megahex analyzes the Sengoku driver and recreates two Kurokage troopers to attack Micchi who transforms into Kamen Rider Ryugen to fight them off. He manages to destroy them with no problems but it was just because they helped give Megahex more data on his fighting capabilities.

 For its next trick Megahex recreates a Genesis Driver and to Micchi's horror; Ryoma Sengoku.
Hello, sunshine, miss me?
 Yeah apparently Megahex recreated Ryoma based off of Kouta's memories of him, so Ryoma didn't exactly come back to life per say this is just a robot recreated based off Kouta's memories of Ryoma, though that notion is rather inconsistent with how Hex-Ryoma as I like to call him interacts with the other Riders, acting like he was brought back to life instead of just being based off of Kouta's memories of the real Ryoma. Anyway Megahex leaves Hex-Ryoma to gather more data and teleports away as Hex-Ryoma pulls out a Megahex recreation of the Dragon Fruits Energy Lockseed.
Becoming Kamen Rider Duke Dragon Energy Arms.
 Now I know that those who read my review of Gaim Gaiden Baron are going to call fowl on this but remember how I said that he used a Megahex recreation of the Dragon Energy Arms? So something like Megahex could easily make his version of the Dragon Fruit Energy Lockseed able to transform someone into an alternate form of Duke instead of Tyrant. The problem however comes from how Megahex knew to recreate the Lockseed since Kouta never encountered the Dragon Fruit Lockseed. Wait what? It's never explained, okay never mind then.

 Duke then attacks Ryugen who gets tossed around like a rag-doll. Ryugen asks what exactly Megahex is and Duke says that it's the same as the Overlords, beings that were invaded by Helheim. The way that Megahex survived is by transforming their entire species and planet into a single conscious and entity. Hang on, transforming their entire species into a singe intelligence to head off an evolution based enemy.
For a single entity you do seem to be rather astute.
 Oh this just keeps getting better by the second. So Ryugen gets sent flying by the messenger but manages to grab a Sengoku Driver from the wreckage of the Robo Kurokages before he runs off. Later that night at the Gaim Garage our heroes are recovering from the attack but still devastated after seeing Kouta get killed. Oren brings up the point that Micchi is the only one who can fight since he has a Sengoku Driver. Takatora flashes back to when Kouta visited him in his coma and says that if he were here he wouldn't give up.

 In his dream Micchi is contacted by Mai who apologizes that she and Kouta couldn't stop Megahex, that she's inside of the robo flower and to destroy it no matter what. All she can do is give them one last chance, Micchi then wakes up and discovers a single Helheim Fruit which matures into a Melon Lockseed and since Micchi managed to steal a Sengoku Driver that means that Takatora is back in the game.

 The next morning the two brothers head over to the weapon where Hex-Ryoma is waiting for them. Hex-Ryoma starts to go on how the collective is like the best est thing ever for reals. But Takatora is having none of it so Hex-Ryoma transforms into Duke to kill the two. The brothers then transform into Ryugen and Zangetsu with Zangetsu holding Duke off so Ryugen can get inside the weapon and free Mai.

 Ryugen gets closer to the weapon but is ambushed by Megahex's reproduction Roidmudes. Foul, flag on the field! How did Megahex get the data on the Roidmudes to recreate them? I mean yeah those spore he sent out could have reached Kuruma where the Roidmudes are hiding out but yeah no idea how this happened and I think these guys should have shown up when Drive got involved in these events but then again that would be the smart thing to do and we clearly can't have that. Bad movie, bad, no biscuit!

 Ryugen switches to Kiwi arms and manages to destroy some of the Roidmudes before riding away in Budou arms where we see more of the fight between Zangetsu and Duke. Duke starts to kick Zangetsu's ass saying that with his research he could have been a god. Zangetsu can only laugh saying that those "gods" are nothing but a load of empty, hollow crap just like Duke is now that he's a part of Megahex. This of course sets Duke off and the two have one final stand-off. Both using their squash attacks which then jump cuts to Ryugen riding into the facility. Boooo bad cut do I have to get the newspaper and smack you across the nose movie?!

 Anyway Ryugen manages to power his way inside and finds Mai but is cut off by Neon Blue Cables before he can get to her.
I know exactly where this is going dude, nothing much you can do now except lie back and think of England.
 Thankfully before this can be turned into an Evil Dead Homage Rygen flashes back to parts of the series with him and Mai, how he started to obsess over her, finding her corpse after Ryoma cut the golden fruit out of her, the good times. But yeah this gives him his second wind. We then jump back to the conclusion of the fight between Duke and Zangetsu and Zangetsu managed to kill Duke with Hex-Ryoma sincerely congratulating him and blowing up leaving behind his Genesis Driver and a pile of scrap.

 Ryugen in the meantime manages to overpower the cables and manages to fire off his Budou Sparking finisher to free Mai. Zangetsu however is ambushed by Megahex and gets his ass kicked. To make matters worse, thanks to the data on the Sengoku Drivers Megahex manages to absorb the Kiwami Lockseed and becomes even stronger as demonstrated by knocking Zangetsu around like a sack of Potatoes forcing him to power down. Just as Megahex is about to kill him Ryugen tosses Takatora the Melon Energy Lockseed which he grabs along with the Genesis driver to become Zangetsu-Shin again. The brothers team up to fight Megahex but are barely able to keep up with it thanks to it absorbing the Kiwami Lockseed.

 Zangetsu-Shin manages to power though Megahex's attacks and manages to get Megahex into a headlock.
Come on not this again.
 Yep, they're going for the Raditz maneuver. Which is ironic considering that near the end of the series Micchi thought he killed Takatora and was so wracked with guilt that he was seeing a hallucination of Takatora constantly mocking him until it was revealed he didn't kill him. Way to rip open those wounds and drown it in salty lemon juice Mr rich smart fancy pants. But yeah we all know how this goes, Ryugen finally musters the minerals to fire at Megahex's core but all it does is force Zangetsu-Shin to power down and doesn't so much as scratch Megahex.

Or did it?! Takatora did manage to get the Kiwami Lockseed back from Megahex. Megahex stats to go nuts and fires on Takatora; Ryugen manages to block the blast but is forced to power down. Megahex however starts to get pissed off at how these shaved monkeys could defy it in such a scale.
Exterminate! Exterminate!
Now that Megahex has rediscovered anger, it no longer cares about absorbing humanity, it's just going to slaughter them all. As it prepares to kill the three a literal case of Deus Ex Machina occurs as Kouta revives himself from the Kiwami Lockseed in a appropriately badass and grandiose re-entrance. I honestly don't mind this since hey Kouta literally is a god now and gods typically don't get offed so easily unless the one trying to kill him is named Kratos. Kouta, and the Kureshima brothers transform and combine their finishing moves to finally destroy Megahex. However it's still not over.

That's right, we are legion. For we are
a pain in my ass!
Thus we come to the final piece of the puzzle that is Megahex. Just like Cooler and the Big Gete Star and that Megahex is both the name of the enemy as well as it's planet. So like Cooler Megahex has just been sending out duplicates of its humanoid form to carry out its will. So Megahex sends out more spores while the bodies fly off ending Gaim's part of the movie. Stay tuned for part two where we see how Drive fits into all of this.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Dragon Ball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT is owned by Funnimation, Toei animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.
Dragonball Z abridged is owned by Team Four Star. 
Futurama is owned by Matt Groening, David X. Cohen, 20th Century Fox Television and The Curiosity Company.
Gurren Lagann is owned by Studio Gainax, Hiroyuki Imaishi, Kazuki Nakashima and Aniplex. 
Puella Magi Madoka Magica Rebellion is owned by Gen Urobutchi, Akiyuki Shinbo Studio Shaft, and Aniplex.

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Gaim Gaiden Zangetsu & Baron Part 2: Drive your funky soul!

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.
Part two of our double feature starts off with Kaito Kumon walking in the Helheim forest flashing back to the events of episode 21 where he joined up with Ryoma to find and kill the Overlord Demushu, the then theorized leader of the Helheim forest. Ryoma calls in to ask if Kaito's found anything; Kaito says he only found two things, jack and shit and jack left town. Ryoma apologizes for asking Kaito to do this on the anniversary of his dad's death, however Kaito tells him it's none of his business flashing back to what happened after his father sold his factory to Yggdrasil. Kaito doesn't hate Yggdrasil for what happened, what he hates is how weak he was at that time.

We then cut to... um Kaito acting like a complete wacko in a luxury hotel room.
Please stop smiling, you're killing more Kitties then the Puppies that die when Seto Kaiba smiles.
Yeah this mirror universe version of Kaito is named Shapool (or Shapur as the subtitles call him) the heir to a foreign country who's watching the early exploits of his doppelganger transforming into Baron.
"Sir I'm afraid that we are quite late for your Village People auditions as it is without stopping for cakes. Though I heard the owner might be someone as qualified for a part in the band as you sir."
This is Shapur's butler and yes before you can even make the joke, his name is in fact Alfred. Alfred tells Shapur that the cakes will have to wait since Shapur's father has told him to inspect Zawame. Alfred tells him not to be late and heads for the car, Shapur pouts as hard as he can while calling him a tightwad and I'm sorry I just can't get over seeing what looks like Kaito acting so damn goofy, it's waaaay too funny. Now before I get slammed with comments (though at this point I'd take any comments) yes I know that Shapur is played by Kaito's actor Yukata Kobayashi, in fact this is one of the positive points in this movie something I'll elaborate on later as Shapur makes his escape and runs into himself, I mean Kaito.

Kind of obvious which one is green screened. Though they can more then make up for it if they decide to recreate this scene.
Alas no, Shapur just starts annoying Kaito until he maces him and switches clothes leaving Kaito unconscious on the park bench in Shapur's clothes. Okay several questions come to mind here, first shouldn't Shapur knock Kaito out in a secluded location where there are less potential witnesses? I mean parks are pretty populated locations where people could easily spot this guy knocking someone out and switching clothes with him. For that matter, where did he change? Was it behind a bush, a park Bathroom or did he just decide to strip and change in public, I mean even in Japan, a country that sells used high-school girls panties (seriously) giving your twig and berries a breather in a public park can't possibly be the slightest bit legal. I mean people are clearly walking by the area in the following scenes!

Speaking of clothes, couldn't Shapur have just visited a tailor or a clothing store or something to recreate Kaito's outfit? If the point is to disguise yourself as your other-self, knocking them out is not exactly going to make your counterpart sympathetic to your situation dude! I mean money is clearly not an issue for you unless Alfred is handling all of the expenses and thus holds your spending money, but if not then don't be such a tightwad idiot! I'm not even going to get into the identity theft that this clearly brings up and just continue with this mess of a plot.
"And now for Bum Reviews, with Kaito Z Bum"
 Of course after being knocked out, left on a bench and having his clothes stolen Z Bum is pissed off but good. As for Shapur, he's prancing around like Tingle after spending the night with Dr Rockso and Kaito swears to hunt him down and skin him with a toenail clipper. Speaking of pissed off; Alfred and Shapur's father are livid since apparently Alfred was being paid to kill Shapur; by is own father! Yeesh maybe my Seto Kaiba joke was more on the nose then I thought.

But enough about this horrible premeditated child murder now is the time on Gaim where we dance!
Yeah Shapur found where Team Baron is dancing, he starts to dance like a maniac and the rest of Team Baron give looks like Kaito has lost his freaking mind. I mean these guys were handpicked by Kaito to be part of his dance troupe so of course they should be able to spot something wrong about their former leader, and Zach the guy that Kaito left leadership of Team Baron to should be able to see that something is wrong with him from miles away. Nope they just dance with him, Zach you have failed not only as leader of Team Baron but also as a practitioner of Hip-Hopakido. Now go to your room! Even when Kouta and Mai show up they notice that this thing that looks like Kaito should not be Kaito.
It's the kitty Apocalypse.
Who the hell are you?
But even then Mai and Kouta just dance with them anyway, chalking it up to Kaito finally pulling his banana spear out of his ass.
Yeah I honestly have to say this but at this point it needs to be said. Congratulations Japan, you now have yourself your very own iteration of this infamous scene. Take a bow and enjoy.
I'm sorry but it's true we've reached Emo Peter levels of out of character goofiness here, and just like Spider-Man 3 nobody can tell that something is off with Kaito. Even when "Kaito" takes Mai with him to Charmant for cake Kouta's all like "I kind of like him this way". Though personally I do too. Meanwhile with Captain Sourpuss Alfred's caught up with him and thinking that he's Shapur tases him and takes him back to the hotel to kill him. Meanwhile back with Shapur and Mai he's baking a cake in the kitchen, how does she not notice something off with this scenario I mean they, they don't just.......
Oh lord I have to stop getting off track or I'll never get through this. So anyway, yeah Shapur is making Mai a cake, why, well most likely so Yukata can demonstrate his actual baking skills. Yeah apparently he's a really good baker, the things you find out about a person. Though, eh I'm curious, I'd try one, especially if it looks like the cake he made for Mai, much to Jonouchi's chagrin.
I never thought I'd say this but thank whoever is up there we're back to the Filicide plot. Kaito wakes up in the hotel room with his arms tied up. (Fan Girls that little thought for later was for you. <3) He overhears Alfred telling his two goons to fit Kaito for a pair of cement shoes thinking that he's Shapur. Kaito thinks that's the reason why Shapur switched with him and kicks the goons asses and ran off before telling Alfred he grabbed the wrong guy.

Back at the ranch Oren shows up and is none to thrilled that Joey just let "Kaito" use their Kitchen. He's about to tell Monsieur banane au revoir when he gets a call from Alfred (he even has the guitar riff played during his transformation as his ringtone) who wants to hire Oren to capture Shapur. But I'm guessing that Alfred only gave his physical description to Oren since he thinks that "Kaito" is actually Shapur, I mean he is but he thinks that Kaito Kumon is actually Shapur all along, which is more then a tad stupid. Point is Oren is after "Kaito" and transforms into Kamen Rider Bravo to fight him since he knows Kaito isn't one to go down without swinging.

After Mai tells him to transform Shapur pulls out the Sengoku Driver, but of course since Kaito had one of the original Prototype belts it's locked to his DNA so Shapur can't use it. Which should be a gigantic clue that he's not who he says he is. But Baron is stuck in moron mode and completely forgot when Ryoma told him about the differences in belts when he got his current custom mass production belt not four episodes before the chronological events of this special!
I'm not even half way through this special and I still have 20 or so minutes to go. So Zach shows up and transforms into Kamen Rider Knuckle to hold Bravo off while "Kaito" and Mai make tracks. That's when the real Kaito shows up and a few tiny sparks decide to go off in Mai's head and realizes that "Kaito" is an imposter. Kaito then grabs Shapur and drags him off no doubt to where he has the toenail clippers. Meanwhile we see Alfred meeting with Ryoma, so you know that something bad is about to go down.

You would in fact be right since the reason for the duo's trip was for Alfred to fund Ryoma's research in exchange for at least 500 Sengoku drivers since Alfred's boss knows that Helheim is coming and wants his family to be among the lucky few to survive. But Ryoma being the crafty bastard that he is picks up that Alfred has ulterior motives due to the amount of requested drivers. Alfred outright admits that he's going to sell the extra drivers to the highest bidders, usurp his boss and take over their country. Ryoma says that he likes that kind of sneakiness and gives Alfred a gift.
A Genesis Driver and the Prototype Dragon Fruit Energy Lockseed.
Ryoma of course is offended that Alfred thinks he can just use his research in his little money making scheme and is going to be using him as a test subject for the Dragon Fruit Energy Lockseed. Yeah free tip dude don't try to shyst a shyster. Back to the wonder twins the two swap back their clothes and Kaito takes back his driver. Shapur tries to apologize saying he just wanted to be free, but Kaito says he did it just to avoid being killed and fills him in on his father trying to kill him. Shapur tries to run when he hears cars but Alfred shows up and starts kicking his ass, saying that his father wants him dead and that he'll be killing him once he's done with Shapur and that he's going to be taking over the organization.

Kaito shows up to kick the goons asses and turns his attention to Alfred having flashbacks to being abused by his father in a drunken rampage and is going to kick Alfred's teeth in because he pisses him off. That's when Alfred takes off the kid gloves and pulls out his Genesis Driver and Lockseed.
Becoming Kamen Rider Tyrant.
Kaito then transforms into Baron and fights Tyrant. But since Baron is an Armored Rider and Tyrant is a New Generation Rider; Tyrant kicks Baron's ass before he switches to Mango Arms and reengages managing to overpower Tyrant so he and Shapur could retreat. Tyrant tries to run after them but the Genesis Driver starts to short-circuit forcing Alfred to power down. Later that night Kaito and Shapur swap back stories that Shapur was adopted since his father didn't have an heir to take over their organization. But since he now has a real son Shapur is just in the way.

As for Kaito he says that after his father sold their factory to Yggdrasil he regretted his decision, was tricked out of his money, started drinking then beat Kaito before killing his mom and then himself in a drunken rampage. Kaito then tells Shapur that the only thing worth trusting in the world is your own power.
Essentially that, Peko then shows up telling Kaito that Tyrant has been attacking Team Baron and abducted Zach to lure Kaito and Shapur out. Now it's personal, Kaito heads out to save Zach and finds him in the standard abandoned warehouse. Kaito then is attacked by Alfred head on, calling him out as the pathetic weakling that he is by just using his unearned power to attack those that are weaker then him. Alfred gives absolutely zero craps if he's a weakling and just as he's about to transform the Dragon Fruit Lockseed starts to sprout Helheim vines and turn him into an Inves.

Alfred still doesn't care and just demands Kaito hand over Shapur, Kaito says he'll gladly do it if he can beat him. Alfred transforms into Tyrant and starts his assault. Kaito transforms into Baron where the fight starts but leads into the dumbest sequence of the special. Baron knocks Tyrant into some debris where he comes out riding a dirt bike that comes out of nowhere, and no this isn't a Lock Vehicle, a normal fully functional dirt bike just happens to be in an abandoned warehouse all gassed up and ready to use. Not only this one but Baron just happens to find another one and the two just start riding their dirt-bikes.

I'm not kidding when I say that this sequence mainly consists of the two just doing stunts on their dirt-bikes, they don't even fight they just hop around doing stunts until the end of the sequence where Baron manages to knock off Tyrant. Do you know how long this sequence lasts? Approximately 1 minute and 21 seconds, yep the first minutes of this specials climax starts off with bike stunts. Look I know that Kamen Riders typically ride motorcycles but we don't want our final fight to mainly consist of bike stunts and only one actual attack done during said sequence, whoever was responsible for this scene needs to be sacked and hard.

Time to wrap this up; Tyrant takes a major hit from Baron and the Dragon Fruit Lockseed takes over him completely transforming him into an Overlord Inves. Baron gets completely overwhelmed by the Overlord when Yoko shows up to give him the Ringo Lockseed that Ryoma took from Touka.
He uses it and becomes Baron Ringo Arms.
With his new power Baron is easily able to go toe to toe with the overlord. Even when the Ringo Lockseed starts to infest him with Helheim's power Baron suppresses it with his own willpower. He then executes his Sparkling finisher and kills Tyrant once and for all. With this victory Baron powers down and destroys the Ringo Lockseed with his own hands. Our story ends with Kaito getting a letter from Shapur saying that he's going back to confront his father, Kaito visits his families grave swearing to obtain the power to destroy the world and Yoko watches from the shadows and sees something from Kaito.
A glimpse of the power that Kaito seeks.
So that was Gaim Gaiden Zangetsu and Baron. Zangetsu was the clear better of the two while Baron made my head hurt from all the stupid. Though Baron does have one saving grace and that's the performance of Yukata Kobayashi as both Kaito and Shapur. The contrast between the two personae really help to show his range. His performance and the silliness that comes with it save that part of the special from becoming unwatchable. Now on to more tasty meat for next time where we get more Gaim action by taking a look at Drive and Gaim's crossover movie. See you soon.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Yu-gi-oh! 5D's is owned by Katsumi Ono, Konami and Studio Gallop.
Spider-Man 3 is owned by Marvel Studios and Colombia Pictures.
Duck Soup is owned by Paramount Pictures and Groucho Marx.
Archer is owned by Adam Reed, Floyd County Productions, Radical Axis and FX Producions.
Zoolander is owned by Village Roadshow Pictures, VH1 Films and Paramount Pictures.
Electric Café is owned by Kraftwerk and Kling Klang Studios.
People Get Up and Drive Your Funky Soul is owned by James Brown, Tim Rogers, Cliff White and Polydor.
The Ren & Stimpy show is owned by Bob Camp, John Kricfalusi, Spümcø, Games Animation and Nickelodeon.
Conan the Barbarian (1982) is owned by Dino De Laurentiis Corporation and Universal Pictures.