Monday, October 31, 2016

Personal Post: My opinion of Five Nights at Freddy's: I don't want a heart attack.

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.


 Well here we are people another year another Five Nights at Freddy's game to make people scream and shit their pants at the sight of Animatronic demons. And I am SO not one of those people. Alright look I'll give my opinion of these games as succinctly as I can. I respect Five Nights at Freddy's but I'll never play any of those games for as long as I live. I do however like these games, not for the actual games themselves but what they mean for the gamer community itself, not just the indie developers.

 FNAF stands as a shining example of what happens when you properly listen to critics, don't let yourself get bogged down by negativity, have a solid and simple concept, and just good old fashioned hard work, care and respect for your fans. Now I may be talking out of my old poop shoot but that's just what I feel when I look at Scott and the relatively short history of this franchise. I mean it's only been 2 years since the first game showed up on Steam and it's almost up there with Mario in terms of Gaming iconography (I mean real iconic not Ubisoft iconic (sorry for borrowing that one Jim)) I mean it's crazy we've got the six games, FNAF action figures, FNAF novels, FNAF movies, FNAF T-Shirts, FNAF coloring books, FNAF Dogtags.
FNAF THE FLAMETHROWER!!!! Which ironically some people would desperately want when playing these games.
 I can honestly respect FNAF and Scott for not just how this franchise was created but how the man sets an example for developers. Mostly regarding the FNAF World fiasco, for those unaware between FNAF 4 and Sister Location Scott released a FNAF RPG which was buggy, not properly explained and was generally not well received so Scott decided to offer refunds for everyone who purchased the game from Steam and FNAF world is currently free to download. From what I've seen not only is it Scott dropping hints for FNAF Sister Location but it's just kind of a chance for Scott to take the piss out of himself like Stephen King's movie Maximum Overdrive.
I mean he created a Star Fox parody where Freddy and his pals go into space to fight a crazed version of himself for the Emperor's sake, how can you not appreciate that?
 Now to be honest FNAF World just might be the only one of these games I can see myself getting through but other then that NOPE! Now again It's not that I hate these games or believe that the hype is overblown but just that I do not like jump scares; and when I have to deal with these mechanical demons coupled with the jump scares and loud noises they might cause me to have a heart attack or hurt my hearing when I have to keep the volume up to hear them out; something I would like to avoid as much as possible. One of the things I do like about these games is the lore and the history of the Animatronics, the Purple Guy and all the horrible events tied around this fictional Pizza franchise. Now some people say that it's overly complicated and Scott just keeps adding more nonsense on top of more nonsense, to some extent I may agree but then again I can follow the mythos of Bioshock and Kingdom Hearts so make of that what you will. At least this isn't nearly as complicated as the Tommy Westphall universe and it's all encompassing Lovecraftian tendrils.

 Now to give my thoughts on less controversial material just general aesthetic choices. I personally like the designs of the Animatronics themselves, my personal favorite iteration was in FNAF 4 where they honestly looked like Demons. Scott just really cut loose with that game and as someone who likes making monsters myself I can tell they're just inspired. My personal favorite Animatronic is Golden Freddy, the nearly unavoidable instant kill Zordon from furry yiffing hell, with the empty eye sockets, lifelessness, and just all around uncomfortable feeling you get trying to avoid that hellbeast is just wonderful. The only thing about this franchise that I don't really get behind is the fan art, specifically the furry stuff, now I know that that scene isn't for me but it's just one of those things that make me shake my head and say "for god's sake Internet".

 As for Scott himself seeing him get so much success out of such a simple concept is commendable, especially coming from me who has little to no skills in programing video games. To see a man take what he can do and slowly but surly improve his craft and be so successful is nothing short of inspiring. I believe the real story of FNAF is learning from your failures, turning them into your inspiration and through luck become a rightful success in a field where one faced great adversity. So Scott, good on you and nothing but luck for you, your family, your franchise and your future endeavors.

 Now again that's just my opinion if you like that stuff good for you it's just not my cup of tea. Though personally what I really would like to see is possibly crossovers. Like a witch from Madoka Magica themed around the Puppet with the animatronics as its familiars or something. Also since the current Kamen Rider series Ex-Aid has their monsters, the Bugsters themed around Video Games I'd love to see one themed around FNAF. Again that's all just me and if you feel differently by all means let me know. Now to get back to work on my new Let's Plays to keep my stress down during the winter since my current money earning job does take its toll on me.

Five Nights at Freddy's is owned and created by Scott Cawthon.
Spaceballs is owned by Mel Brooks, Brooksfilms and Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc.

Monday, October 24, 2016

Manga review: Kazumi Magica the innocent malice: Volume 3 Pt 2: The circle of life.

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.
Yeah when you look at all the bodies you tend to start thinking along the lines of "God how did I become friends with these psychos?"
 As we delve back into the memory pool Juubey is approaching Kazumi with the wish offer. She accepts it without hesitation and wishes for her Grandma to be healthy but to die as she naturally would. Juubey asks why she wouldn't wish for her grandma's full health or even to extend her life but Kazumi doesn't want to go against her wishes and if that means she'll die as she would have so be it.
Kazumi, only 16 years old and yet still a better person then Peter Parker.
 So with the last day with her grandmother Kazumi asks for her to teach her how to make her strawberry risotto so that she'll always have something to remember her by. 
Oh goody another genuinely heartwarming scene I can't snark at, poop.
 After the story Mirai asks if it's possible for her to become a magical girl. Juubey being the opportunistic hell beast that it is is all too willing to hear their wishes. 
"Kazumi" We can use the museum to store all our excess guns from the bi monthly run. "Satomi" That way they'll be so indebted to me they'll help me to conquer the world! Or at the very least help me do a less creepy version of Cats since, you know they'll actually be cats instead of freaking furries." "Juubey" "You want to grow what now? Ok but don't blame me if people think you're a demon or something." "Saki" "Let's face it with my sister dead I need my ganja fix somehow and I'm not buying from that old pervert with the turtle!" "Umika" "I know someone out there shares my love of covering the world of death rabbits!" "Kaoru" "Now when I go back I can beat the tar out of them myself for that girl nearly killing herself!"
 So the group became magical girls, Kazumi names the group The Pleiades Saints and everyone was having a good time. 
Damn it Mami even when you aren't aware of it your influence is everywhere
 We also saw that when Kazumi lost her grandmothers earrings Saki went out of her way to get new ones, clearly showing some level of attraction to Kazumi; much to Mirai's chagrin. But the fun times ended that fateful night at the Asunaro Dome. They were going to recruit Yuuri into the group until she became a witch. After the group put her down they confronted Juubey and he spilled the beans and how the answer was staring them right in the face. 
In fact using almost the exact words he used when Sayaka became a witch in the show.
 So Umika decided to head butt Juubey so damn hard she rewrote his memories. 
Ok this only makes their actions even dumber since according to Umika now that Juubey works exclusively for them that means that no other magical girls will be able to purify their gems thus more witches will pop up and kill more people! You know for people who say they want to stop the magical girl system they seem to only be focusing on the parts that are problematic for them and not, you know THE PEOPLE THAT'LL BE TORN TO PIECES BY THE WITCHES!! But then again as we saw with Kazumi saving them students do tend to take after their teachers.
 With the flashbacks finally over Kazumi's iris' briefly change into how they were when she had the evil nuts inserted into her, which doesn't escape Satomi's notice. We end this chapter with the group calling it a day save for Saki and Satomi, where Satomi makes a proposal to Saki. 
Now who can say no to such a rational and thought out argument like that with a face like this?
Satomi has gone bye-bye Egon. My head cannon now dictates that this song will now be playing in her head for the rest of her days.

 Chapter 13 picks up immediately after this with Saki asking why since everything's going well this time. Wait, this time; what the hell? But Satomi starts chuckling to herself about how Saki can't kill her since she's clearly in love with Kazumi; she also mentions that she knows Saki's dirty little secret. 
I know you've been using the leftover pods to store your brownies, seriously Saki-chan you need an intervention. Remember what Mario-san said?

 Back at the ranch Kazumi's sleeping after the trauma of the day and Kaoru is asking Umika if things will work out this time with her thinking back to Kazumi's state under the evil nut. Saki then shows up and comes inside asking about Kazumi and if the evil nuts are behind what happened to her. Umika doesn't know but figures that the one who made them who was behind Yuuri and Souju would know for sure. Saki asks if it wasn't the nuts and that this was another failure. The duo disagree both thinking that things are going perfectly this time. 

 Saki however brings up when Niko became a witch and that her soul gem wasn't cloudy at all when it happened. She then starts to freak out saying that even though they all care about "Kazumi-chan" if they keep using their magic the way they have then they'll end up as witches. Umika however knows that something's wrong; since the real Saki never said Kazumi's name with the suffix chan before. With the jig up Satomi has the mind controlled Saki attack.
I'm sorry Kaoru-chan, Umika-Chan but you see; Cookies need love like everything does!
 She manages to incapacitate Kaoru by dropping a chandelier on her which frees her to rush into Kazumi's room and take a stab at killing her. However Saki manages to regain enough control to stab herself with the dagger instead. Satomi just changes her plans and has her bring Kazumi to her. Satomi then opens a secret room and tells several figures that it's their turn. Saki manages to bring Kazumi back to the museum and falls unconscious; Satomi shows up says that she's going to kill Kazumi. 

 She also tells her that the group lied to her again. The truth is that they didn't find out the truth about Magical girls and witches when Yuuri turned, but it was when Kazumi's original self Michiru Kazusa became a witch. She turned but the six loved her so much that they tried to bring her back to life, so they stuffed the corpse with the witch's flesh to create a clone, like stuffing a teddy bear with cotton. Great so on top of mass kidnappings, they've also been experimenting with resurrecting the dead; HOW ARE THESE GIRLS NOT THE VILLAINS?! Kazumi is of course disbelieving but Satomi points out how her Soul Gem looks like a grief seed as proof that Kazumi is really a witch in human skin. 
Well to be fair that was kind of a tip off but hey look at the bright side at least it can't get worse!
 So the volume ends with things getting worse, since the incident with the evil nut Satomi thinks that Kazumi's another failure and since Saki can't get the job done she'll have to do it herself, and by that she'll send the previous 12 clones to kill Kazumi aka clone #13, and she won't even be buried with her trucker hat!

Kazumi Magica The Innocent Malice is owned by Masaki Hiramatsu, Takashi Tensugi, Magica Quartet and Yen Press.
Spider-Man is owned by Steve Ditko, Stan Lee, Marvel Comics and The Walt Disney Corporation.
Bioshock Infinite is owned by Ken Levine, Irrational Games, 2K Games and Take-Two Interactive.
The Combine Harvester is owned by The Wurzels and EMI records.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Manga review: Kazumi Magica the Innocent Malice Volume 3 Pt 1: BEARS!!!

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.
Yeah notice that I'm not using the interior cover for this one since I don't think I should and can't show you it. But I can describe it, the interior cover is a naked Niko offering the reader a gun with the words "kill me" written in blood on her chest. You'll forgive me for not showing that if only to avoid placing an NSFW warning on this review.
 So last time we saw that things got rather crazy and that they can always go from bad to worse. In this instance Niko somehow turned into a witch even though her gem is as clean as a whistle. Her teammates are understandably horrified at this with Kaoru desperately pleading for Nikos witch to stop. It clearly doesn't work and the witch launches an attack on the others, who were only able to avoid damage thanks to Umikas barrier. 

 Saki manages to get Mirai into the barrier but takes a small cut on her face, Mirai sees this and goes into a Wolverine esq berserker rage! 
MIRAI SMASH!!!!
 She then summons an army, an army of; teddy bears. 

 But yes Mirai can summon an army of teddy bears which swarm the witch and start to rip its flesh off with their bare teeth!!! Even though the witch manages to shake these fluffy piranhas off Miri just combines them into a giant bear to hold the witch down while she turns her wand into FUCKING DRAGON SLAYER!!! And good lord does she know how to use it!
Jesus somebody give this girl a coke! And make sure it's a coke she does not need to be pissed off by giving her a Pepsi BEGONE PEPSI MAN OR SHE'LL CLEVE YOU IN HALF!!!
 So she takes her broadsword and cuts the witch cleanly in half right down the middle with its blood drenching everyone. It's at this point where everyone starts panicking and going crazy, Satomi especially since she's terrified of becoming a witch. Kazumi is horrified that the hand she's holding was alive only a few minutes ago and starts screaming Niko's name. Only for her to show up right next to her asking what's up?! Everyone is of course shocked, confused and surprised as all hell as to what the hell's going on. 

 Juubey explains that that was her "Preliminary" which was the price of her contract. So yeah Niko's back, though looking slightly more evil. But then again this is the same girl who just sat back and let Kazumi be used for target practice a few minutes ago so she just might be showing her true colors or just has a warped sense of humor. Either way near death can give people some leeway with weird behavior. After the happy reunion however Niko reminds everyone that Kazumi's concerns need to be addressed.

 So they take her to Mirai's teddy bear museum called Angelica Bears, which was what Mirai wished for to become a magical girl. Okay so wishing for a teddy bear museum lets her summon teddy bear constructs I get that, but how does a personal museum equal Pyramid Heads Great knife? Back on track it's not what they wanted to show her. Below the museum is the secret of the Pleiades Saints, a freezer for Magical Girls.
 So yeah what Ayase was saying was 100% true, they go around abducting magical girls, steal their soul gems and preserve their naked bodies in cryostasis like they were working with Mr Fucking Freeze?! OUR FUCKING HEROES EVERYONE!!! Oh and their explanation at the end of this chapter is just as crazy. Apparently this is the Pleiades way of rejecting the Magical Girl system.

 Chapter 10 has Kazumi asking questions as to what exactly Witches are and they give her the full story as explained in the main show. However there is one exception that unlike Sayaka who took to the idea of ignoring all pain in their bodies the Pleiades rejected that notion. Because if they forget pain then that's when they truly stop being human. I would argue that you guys may have forgotten a few other things but yeah sure you definitely need to remember pain I can get behind that. Umika explains that all the soul gems they've collected are kept in a special seal, so that even though the gem is still within the 100 meter radius of their bodies the seal cuts them off so they don't become more clouded and corrupted then they already are. Their ultimate goal is to keep the girls from becoming witches and finding a way to return them to being human. 
 Ok first of all, how do you know that there is a way to change them back? I mean you said yourself that the witch is the final step of Magical girls so how do you know there's a way to fix them? I mean you have Juubey with you and I'm pretty sure that if there's a way to fix them he'd tell you. Second, how have you all not been caught by someone yet? I mean only you six can break the seal to the freezer, so that implies that only magical girls can open the freezer, so what would have happened if a friend of one of your victims wished to learn the truth, found the freezer and all of your identities? 

You'd be fucked beyond repair, you'd definitely be arrested, your prisoners would be free and they'd be so pissed off they'd either A kill you all or B turn into an army of Witches and kill God knows how many people. And last but not least, what's going to happen to the freezer and all the girls inside if the six of you are killed or become witches yourselves? Nikos double became one and you all flipped your shit, which would have most if not all of you succumb to despair and witch out. But since you all survived that means no problem right? Wrong; what if it was Satomi or Saki that witched out instead of Niko who had a backup in her wish? 

 Would you have recruited other magical girls to continue your plans? Then that would mean you'd either recruit a magical girl, reveal the truth about witches and have her most likely go nuts. Or even worse ask someone to make a wish and become a brand new one knowing what lies ahead? Either way this just makes all six of you look downright evil!

 Kazumi then asks another very valid question, when did they discover the truth themselves? To answer that Umika head butts her and restores her memories. So we flashback a few months earlier, where we see the six about to commit suicide under the influence of a witches kiss! You know folks I've gotta come clean for a second, for a while, I almost forgot what franchise this was a part of.

 The six have their own low points that lead to them being enchanted by the witch, Umika had her work stolen by a publisher and presented as the work of a pop idol. Kaoru's leg was broken during practice and her teammates mercilessly bullied the girl who accidentally did it to the point she tried to kill her self but was left in a coma. Satomi accidentally killed the cat she had since she was 3. Mirai was ostracized and ignored by her classmates so her only friends were her homemade teddy bears. Niko accidentally shot her two friends when she was a toddler living in California and Saki's sister was killed in a car crash Saki herself survived. Our chapter ends on a relatively happier note as when the six jump at the witches suggestion they're saved by Kazumi.

Chapter 11 has Kazumi dragging the six into the witches labyrinth and not even lifting a finger when they get attacked by familiars! 
Jesus Christ even Kazumi was a psycho before she lost her memories, is there anyone in this story who isn't at least one level of bonkers?!
 The girls struggle and fight back to which Kazumi asks why they're doing this if they planed on killing themselves in the first place? 
Kazumi I really don't think this is the time or the place for a fighting game or bikini volleyball! Especially after what happens immediately after your little poorly phrased ultimatum.




 The six each grab a rifle and fire at the jellyfish witch. However the witch just re inflates itself and prepares to eat them when Kazumi, convinced that they still want to live saves the six and kill the witch. After the fight the group heads back to Kazumi's place for dinner where they enjoy some of her grandmothers strawberry risotto. They ask where she is now but Kazumi says that she's passed on. The night's events eventually lead to Saki asking about Magical girls so Kazumi tells how she became one, in a flashback, we're officially in flashback in a flashback territory people be very afraid.

 The flashback shows that Kazumi was studying abroad when she learned of her Grandmas condition, so she rushed back to Japan. She was attacked by a witch but was saved by a cameo.
Hi Mami and wow kid did this artist do a number on you and the twins Jeez.
 So she takes care of the witch, Kazumi thanks her and runs off catching Juubeys attention. Our chapter ends with Kazumi learning her Grandma has only a few days left and Kazumi begging her to wake up one more time when the demon bunny cat comes by telling her he can cure her grandma if she makes a contract. So I'll cut it here for now since I may get lost in the flashbacks if I stay here too long. Besides I think I need something to cheer me up after all of this, and so do you. So until next time keep smiling! 

Kazumi Magica The Innocent Malice is owned by Masaki Hiramatsu, Takashi Tensugi, Magica Quartet and Yen Press.
The Completionist is owned by Jirard "Dragonrider" Khalil and Normal Boots
Banjo Tooie is owned by Rare, 4j Studios Nintendo and Microsoft Studios.
Jontron is owned by Jon Jaffri and Normal Boots.
Dragon Ball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT is owned by Funnimation, Toei animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.
Dragon ball Z abridged is owned by Team Four Star. 
Mass Effect 3 is owned by Bioware and Electronic Arts.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

Tokusatsu Review: Shruiken Sentai Ninninger vs Toqger Part 1: Why too much silly doesn't work.

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.



 Well people, here we are, the crossover I have been dreading for quite some time, my current personal worst Sentai series to date crossing over with the current most critically and commercially panned Sentai. You all know my complaints about Toqger by this point, the Red has severe brain damage and is insufferable, the suit designs for the heroes and their mechs are the most lazy I've ever seen and their message is personally disgusting, offensive and just plain wrong. While in Ninninger's case I give it more slack then Toqger if only because Toqger came out first so all my rage was probably spent by the time it fell apart. While yes it is structurally far worse then Toqger and has not only lame villains and also an even worse mentor then Gosei from Megaforce (YES I WILL TAKE THAT TO THE GRAVE!!!) and Takaharu was just a little less annoying and slightly more tolerable then Right I will still rush to Ninninger's defense before Toqger. Especially since Ninninger has a chance to redeem itself from adaptation since Saban seems to agree with me and is skipping Toqger for adaptation once Dino Charge is over

 Now before I talk about this crossover and no doubt get drafted into the Red Lantern Corps when I'm done with it I need to share some theories as to why Toei has been shoving out goofy series for three years after Gobusters wrapped up. The reason is due to what fellow Tokusatsu critic Des Shinta refers to as the "Carranger Effect" named after the series Gekisou Sentai Carranger, which was what was adapted into Power Rangers Turbo. This refers to Toei's tendency to follow up a failed sentai series with a more goofy silly sentai to try and bring back viewers who they think left because "Kids are stupid and can't understand more complex stories so bring them back with brightly colored nonsense." 

 Yeah but see here, the reason why Carranger helped saved Sentai back in the 90's? It was because a more goofy series was needed since the previous series Choriki Sentai Ohranger was a super serious war Sentai that premiered during a Terrorist attack!!! On top of that apparently around the 9th episode Ohranger was going to do a storyline that apparently would have been very similar to what just happened and Toei; figuring that little kids wouldn't be particularly happy being reminded of horrible attacks that killed several thousand people potentially including their loved ones had to cobble together new episodes and plots extremely fast which put their series far over budget. This is exactly what happened to Evangelion by the way, also this is just speculation based and what I've found online in forums discussing this topic so it could be false but it does seem rather plausible that these are the circumstances that lead to the Carranger effect.

 Back on topic here Toei seems to have forgotten that Carranger helped Sentai get back on track due to it being a necessity at the time, not so much afterwords. But now they seem to think that if a series sucked, crank up the goofy and they'll come back in droves. When they don't acknowledge that it sucked because the writing wasn't up to par. But I could just go on about this and since this is a review blog and not an opinion blog let's get on to the real question of this review. Would I prefer a Shuriken in my eye or being run over by a train?

 We begin our festival of pain with our band of Ninja numbskulls on a train, though Takaharu doesn't know exactly where they're going. Apparently they're off to a Ninja theme park for summer vacation. The intercom tells them that their stop is at Dream Ninnin Live Station and if you have two functioning brain cells you can immediately tell that they're on a Shadow Line train but no time for that now we have Kinji doing a rock cover of their ending theme song, because reasons. After the Big Lipped Alligator Jam Session we see a familiar face.
Great, Rule 63 Right's the first apperance in this crossover, I can already feel the Pixie Sticks being force fed down my mouth. And she's in her grown up form WTF? Also she's a pop idol in this dream for some reason, speaking of.
 Back on track Kagura grabs Kinji and runs off with him. We cut to.... the opening of the movie again, kay? Though Takaharu notices that while the core five are there there's six bentou lunches. However the intercom chimes in again telling that they're now in Dream Spy mission Station now. Where they apparently become a much better Sentai team, the Gobusters. Ok not really but they're spies now for some reason. The group split up and Yakumo, Nagi and Katsumi get chased down by thugs when they're saved by the only Toqger that I wouldn't want to toss into a Gulag.  
Dude you can ask people to call you Susan for all I care just so long as you usurp right as leader of the Toqger I so don't care!
 He's not here to take up my advice however and just takes the three with him. The next loop of Endless Eight happens again but the two have their next station up ahead.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! THEY'RE BROTHER AND SISTER MOVIE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS I DON'T EVEN!!! Oh good lord I swear I can hear Banjos already.
Oh thank whoever's up there that these two aren't at the alter and Fuuka's dream groom is really Tokacchi, but is it? No for you see he's really this guy!
 
 No no Mio shows up, chews out Tokacchi and tries to get Fuuka out of there but are stoped by Jukkarage thugs. The four transform and the Toqger explain that these dreams are actually illusions created by our movie exclusive Yokai Wanyūdō.
And oh dear god he's just a weird head strapped onto a Kuliner Robo suit. Once again the laziness of the Toqger mandates infects the production. Now it just looks like a spooky stupid Gunman. If only Kamina would show up, give a over the top man speech and kick its ass. But no we have the Toqgers and Ninningers to do it instead, joy bunnies.
 So our lazily designed monster traps the four inside of itself so the "veterans" can give the two newbies the lowdown. Takaharu remembers that they went out to fight Wanyūdō and got abducted and out muscled. So greetings are exchanged, introductions are made, title cards are shown yeah yeah yeah we know the drill. The Toqgers continue saying that even tough they beat the main Shadow Line their resident Doctor returned from studying abroad and that he's the one being the Dark Ninja land. Takaharu says his catchphrase and of course the other 3 sane people are flummoxed by his stupidity.
Well they both make me want to take a staple-gun to my ballsack then put up with them so yes, Tokacchi yes they are.
Speaking of which he shows up for the rescue and drives the rainbow line up to Wanyūdō's train form to let them make the jump to safety. Wanyūdō however sends in Jukkarage and Kuros to take the four out. They transform and try to fight off the forces but they just keep coming. Wanyūdō eventually manages to escape into a tunnel but not before the Toqgers manage to get Fuuka at least to safety, Takaharu however didn't make it, not because the grunts overwhelmed him, not because Wanyūdō got inside the tunnel no no. 
BECAUSE HE SLIPPED ON FUUKA'S GODDAMN BANANNA PEEL!!!!!

 Why did I say I'd stick up for this asshole again? So one dumbass red gets kidnapped so our other dumbass red chases him down. And to pour salt into the wound the Kibaoni foxy general shows up to gloat.
No not that Foxxy.
Dear god not that Foxy.
Oh I wish it was that Foxy, at least she's fun and competent. Also HELLO NURSE!
 No no it's Kyuemon who tells them the obvious, that he was the one behind Wanyūdō, speaking of he delivers our dumbass Ninja to the dark Ninja land park. You know all this blatant stupidity is getting to me. I'll cut it off here before my brains are reduced to yogurt. See you next time where we learn more obvious crap like how the sky is blue, feet stink and Takaharu and Right couldn't outwit a box of oatmeal. 

Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion is owned by Studio Sunrise, Gorō Taniguchi and Funnimation.
Code Ment is owned by PurpleEyesWTF.
Jojo's Bizarre Adventure is propriety of Hirohiko Araki, David Production, Tokyo MX, Warner Bros Entertainment and Viz Media.
The Spoony Experiment is owned by Noah Antwilder.
Drawn Together is owned by Comedy Central, Dave Jeser, Matt Silverstein, Double Hemn, and Rough Draft Studios.
Five Nights at Freddy's is owned and created by Scott Cawthon.
Project X Zone is owned by Banpresto, Monolith Soft and Bandai Namco Games.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Manga review: Kazumi Magica the innocent malice volume 2 part 2: Xtreme fried ice cream at twin pines park.

Please be sure to read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 Yeah, last time was pretty tragic and sad for Kazumi and the Pleiades wasn't it? Well let's see what fun and goofy scene chapter 7 opens on eh? 
Where the hell did I leave the Meeseeks box?!
 So in their off time the saints are going around stealing Soul Gems from magical girls and apparently permanently given that the scene was framed like Kaoru was a slasher killer; Jesus! Speaking of scary lunatics someone watching them is another magical girl who automatically wracks up creepy points by licking her lips lustfully at the thought of getting something from the Pleiades. The next morning Kazumi meets up with Niko and Juubey who tells her that she's off on a witch hunt. Kazumi offers to come with her which Niko accepts. 

 The hunt takes them to a local amusement park where Kazumi thanks Niko and the others for keeping the truth about witches from her so she wouldn't feel so much pain. She then asks Niko if there was a way for her to get her memories back but Niko tells her that not all her memories might not be good and might be of regret. However Kazumi just says that it doesn't matter; her memories good or bad are hers and that they make up who she is and she doesn't want to run away from that. That comment makes Niko pause and says that they'll talk with the others about it later. But first they have an uninvited guest, the girl from last night.

 She shows the two her own Soul Gem and introduces herself as Ayase Souju. She decides to show off her collection, her Soul Gem collection! Yeah she's taken up the nasty hobby of attacking Magical Girls and collecting their Soul Gems since they "shine with the light of life" as she says. 

And shots have been fired people and Niko is giving one of the pinical deathstares.
 She then asks the two their names so that she'll know what to name their Soul Gems, yeah she's just one step away from becoming a Kishen so Niko and Ayase transform and start to slug it out. 

Indeed it does, all hail queen crazy panties!
 Her royal loonyness may have fire powers but that's noting compared to Niko's finger missiles! Despite how cool that is Souju isn't amused, but as she tries to get close Niko shows she has more then that one trick.
Suck it Naruto!
So not even Naruto but more like Firestorm/ Edward Elric, good to know.
 Souju just dispatches the clones but the distraction allows Niko the chance to use the same spell that Kaoru used on that other Magical Girl to grab Soujus soul gem. As Niko wraps the fight up Souju manages to kick her off and grab back her soul gem; however when she transforms she has an entirely different outfit then before! No this isn't because the soul gem is still in range of her body, the last case established that the spell the Pleiades use somehow cuts off the connection between the body and gem. We end the chapter with Kazumi asking what the deal is; with Juubey saying that Souju has two souls inhabiting the same body.

"Hahaha wait what the hell? This little bitch brat thinks she soooo freaking original doesn't she?" "Oh goody who's trying to claw their way out of my noggin this time?")
"Yeah this brat is stealing mine and Minazukis Schtick. I've got half a mind to sho her that it takes two to tango, heh god butter me up cause I'm on a roll, heh there's another one kiddies HA HA!" Um actually this came out before your debut so technically you two are the rip off of her. "Oh well congratulations there jumbo, I'd give a shit but I droped them right next to all the fucks I don't give, hey you; you wanna chat with him? I'm out!" "Forgive the boy he tends to be bored rather easily, though she does share certain traits with me and Sho, she however made this choice for herself. She'll soon learn the folly of trying to interfere with the natural structure of one's soul, as he did."

 Yeah you two done yet? Can I go back to taking about what's actually relevant, thank you so very much. Chapter 8 opens with Kazumi asking Luca if she, like Ayase are collecting Soul Gems. She doesn't hesitate in admitting that she does since apparently that's the only way for her to live with Ayase. Kazumi then asks Juubey what happens to magical girls who lose their soul gems and Juubey replies that they lose their magic and in most cases die. 

 Yeah yeah that's the ticket. But this is apparently exactly why the two steal the gems in the first place. Yep these two are willingly going around killing magical girls just for their shiny little Faberge eggs which I remind you if they lose it they'll lose their magic and possibly die. So Kazumi has to stop her and launches an attack on Luca. 

 She manages to land a punch on Luca, but that when she's had enough and pulls out her real power. 
So both Ayase and Luca can merge their souls and power together? Yeah totally not seeing anything familiar whatsoever
 Cyclone Joker Xtreme then launches an attack which manages to overpower Kazumi. Niko gets a telepathic call from Saki asking if she's secured what they were looking for. Niko replies that they're engaged in battle and send them their location. Niko then asks Juubey what the name of Souju's attack means. Once she learns she hatches a plan. 
You people are absolutely horrible! With friends like these am I right folks?
 After poor Kazumi gets blown to pieces Niko's sadism is satisfied and the two retreat with Souju in hot pursuit. The three manage to lose her at the roller coaster, during which Niko lays out how Souju's powers are so destructive and how to counter them. Ayase as demonstrated uses fire magic where Luca uses ice and when the two collide at the exact right time they cause a massive explosion.
Yes in Goku terms, it's fried ice cream.
 Juubey goes into better detail on how they can counter the Souju's attack. Since Kazumi uses destructive magic and Niko's reformation it should be able to create a counterattack. They try it when Souju corners them at the end of the train tunnel but they can't get the timing right. The three manage to retreat to a sewer to rethink their plan. The trio then trip on a mop and their simultaneous pain gives Niko an idea. Souju corners them again but Niko and Kazumi manage to get the timing right with help from Juubey.
Congratulations guys, you beat her! Your prize is evil space cat rabies, enjoy!
 Ayase and Luca are beaten, but they're both sore losers and pull out their ace in the hole, evil nuts! She tosses them at Kazumi and Niko but Saki manages to catch them in time. At the end of their rope Souju laughs admitting their loss and tells the Magical Girl Hunters to take her gems. Which they do, but Kazumi understandably is pissed off and confused with Souju's comment and how she thought there wouldn't be anymore secrets between her and the Saints. However before she can get an answer our volume ends with Satomi seeing Niko collapsing and her soul gem hatching into a witch even though it was completely clean! 
Oh crapbaskets.
 So that's several flavors of "this is so not good" and that flavor is only going to get stronger as the saints now have to fight one of their own, now reduced to a mindless murderous monster, fun ain't it?!

Kazumi Magica The Innocent Malice is owned by Masaki Hiramatsu, Takashi Tensugi, Magica Quartet and Yen Press.
Persona 4 Arena Ultimax is owned by Atlus, arc system works and Sega.

Monday, October 3, 2016

Video Game Review: Shin Megami Tensei 4 Apocalypse/Final (WHATEVER!!!): First impressions

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Here we are folks another SMT game and I'm here to preach its value to all of you. Now I haven't had a chance to play the whole game in the time I'm writing this I'm not The Completionist for Christ's sake but I'll just give you all what I can and go from there. Now be forewarned this game not only spoils SMT 4 but also takes place in an alternate timeline so before you play this game or read this review make sure that you at least play the first game. So this is your official spoiler warning.


 We open with our new hero Nanashi, and in a very rare occurrence with these games the characters do address him by the name Nanashi, so how can the player create their own name? By creating a hunter nickname of course. Moving on Nanashi and his childhood friend Asahi are trainee hunters and are out with their two mentors when the four are attacked by the demon Adramelech and his men. The two older hunters are killed by Adramelech as well as Nanashi. However as he dies he's visited by the forgotten god Dagda who offers Nanashi a deal, Dagda'll bring him back to life and in exchange he'll serve Dagda as his personal "Godslayer". With no other choice Nanashi takes the faustian deal and manages to repel Adramelech and save Asahi.

 And from the outset Dagda is dead set on getting Nanashi to do what he wants and doesn't give the slightest amount of a crap about his life and loved ones, just so long as he has his godslayer. Dagda honestly reminds me a lot of Ankh from Kamen Rider OOO, both are demons possessing someone for their own benefit, care little for others and are mostly just rude jerks at best and major league assholes at worst. After a few quests we learn that Flynn and Isabeau are on the move and are about to release Masakado from his stone in Ginza. However Asahi wants to do more to help the two in their fight against Merkabah and Lucifer. So she hears of a job from an old man who turns out to be Odin, Odin tells the two of a powerful demon sealed in a shrine who can help Flynn destroy the two and save humanity. So after venturing inside the shrine they find the demon and surprise surprise Odin turned out to be playing them.
The sealed Demon was Krishna who along with Odin and Maitreya make up the leadership of a brand new faction in this war. The Divine Powers (or Polytheistic Alliance again whatever works for you.)
 These new assholes then kidnap Flynn before he can reawaken Masakado and in the neutral ending last game set out to kill Merkabah and Lucifer. They then demonstrate their power by summoning Krishna's pet dragon Shesha to punch a hole in the ceiling covering Tokyo which I may remind you was powerful enough to block several ICBMs! This facilitates a war conference with Merkabah, Lucifer, Skins and Fujiwara where Lucifer proposes a ceasefire to deal with the threat that the Divine Powers present, because along with Shesha and Flynn they also have a large army of demons as well as a splinter faction of the Ring of Gaea under their command. Merkabah agrees and sends down his elite Samurai to Tokyo and Lucifer declares that he'll lead the humans of Tokyo by proxy.

 Skins and Fujiwara clearly object but according to Lucifer only humans have to power to kill gods and demons, specifically those who they chose to become Godslayers. Thus Krishna's goal is to make Flynn his godslayer so that he may kill YHVH who for anyone who's played the previous games where he's appeared is always the most evil being in existence due to him seeing anything that does not submit to his will as evil and will kill any and all who chose to follow their own path or seek freedom from his control.

 Thus we have our setting Tokyo is split between the three factions. Lucifer's set up shop in Camp Ichigaya (thus controls the Yamato Reactor/gate to the expanse) Shinjuku and Shibuya. Merkabah's base is the Sky Tower and controls Ueno, Kinshicho and Ikebukuro; while the Divine Powers have Ginza and Tsukiji Konganji as their HQ. So as Dagdas Godslayer Nanashi has to defeat the Divine Powers, save Flynn and kill Merkabah and Lucifer to save Tokyo, sounds easy! Now this game does have some major improvements over the last game, one of which is that now you can swap out the partners you bring into battle, first is Asahi who's the white mage, Navarre (yes the elitist prick from last game who only showed up a few times is now a full party member.)
And he's also a Ghost, long story short he died off screen and now possesses Nanashi who is one of few people who can see and hear him. I honestly like him this way, as not only did he mature over the 7 years since Flynn smuggled him to Tokyo to survive the Angel's culling of the Luxurors but he's also extremely helpful in and out of battle due to not only his buffing skills but also being able to carry the Jade Dagger which can cut through special barriers. Plus he's just great comic relief even if he does come off like the fusion of Slimer, The Great Gazoo and Ghost Nappa.

 There's others as well that were leaked which I haven't gotten to in full detail including Nozomi. She's the hunter that Flynn helped last game to become the new Lady Danu and leader of the Fairy tribe who joins the group after the Divine Powers destroyed the Fairy's home to a degree that no amount of clapping will fix. The last three are revolving around the factions; which reminds me that the main three aren't the only factions in Tokyo. Remember the ring of Gaea? Well Maitreya took control and while half followed him due to their "might makes right" philosophy the other half are sticking to the teachings of Lilith and refuse to follow Maitreya, the Lilith faction sends out their strongest warrior to aid the Godslayer, named Toki.




NOES, NOTS THATS TOKI YOUSE DILDOS!!!
  Then there's the Asura Kai who are now organizing under a new leader Abe. Whose representative is Abe's #2 man Hallelujah.
Not sure what his deal is but if I had to guess he's the Simon to Abe's Kamina or the Mikazuki to his Orga, whichever you prefer. But much like how Simon started out the guy has no self confidence and is a bit of a whiner.
 Lastly is one of Merkabahs elite Samurai; Gaston who happens to be Navarre's brother and surprise isn't all proud of his older brother whining to their parents and them bribing the monastery to give him an honorable discharge, imagine that. But just like his brother is an incredibly prideful prick with a superiority complex as well as a chip on his shoulder the size of Serpenterra.
NO ONE FIGHTS LIKE GASTON, SERVES THE LORD LIKE GASTON; GOES AND MOCKS UNCLEAN ONES LIKE GASTON!!!
 Now on to the new additions of the game. Whenever you find corpses in the field instead of simply getting an item you'll instead get AP points. Speaking of apps they remove the Demonlngual, Mapper and Cathedral of Shadows app, those skills either are automatic or are unneeded. You also get new side quests as you progress through the game automatically instead of constantly having to check hunters associations or by asking demons, which helps to make things progress faster and streamlines quests. You also don't have to fight against guards to access terminals now. But my personal favorite new addition is that now when you enter an area you can see if there's new conversations to be had with people instead of constantly reading the same dialogue over and over again.

 As for the demons you'll be fighting there's four new Demon groups you can recruit in the field, Genma, Dragon, Holy and Divine. Also most of the evolutions that from the last game carry over to this game. However the order of the demons change as well so take that in mind when remembering which demons evolve into what. So with my little spiel over and done with get out there, get some demons and save Tokyo.


Shin Megami Tensei IV Apocalypse/Final is owned by Atlus, Sega and Kazuyuki Yamai
Metalocalypse is owned by Brendon Small, Tommy Blancha, Titmouse, Inc and Williams Street