Monday, April 17, 2017

Video Game Review: Persona 5: Surprise it's really good.

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 Yes Gentle Thieves and femme fatales we finally have Persona 5 after quite a long time and by Philemon it's been worth it. Now I honestly don't want to talk too much about it because you really need to play this game for yourselves. "But I've never played Personas 1-4 so why would you expect me to just jump on the bandwagon now?" First off, you've never played the previous games? Fix that asap, at least start off with Persona 3 FES then 4 Golden and then play 5, and 2 they're all self contained stories so continuity is no problem. (Aside from Persona's 1 and both of the 2's but that's a topic for another day.)

 Lastly I have several comprehensive articles of the first game's re-release on the PSP so follow these links, learn the basics and then play what is currently my game of the year. 

 So if you've read up and whatnot here's what I feel safe in telling you, you play as a kid found guilty of a crime he didn't commit, he escaped from a maximum security stockade into the Tokyo underground, there he and several of his new contacts survive as Phantom Thieves of hearts. If you have a problem, if no one else can help and if you can find them then maybe you can hire; The Phantom Thieves.

 Ok I joke but I'm not telling how but he does get transferred to Tokyo and Shujin Academy where he meets up with some social outcasts; they discover their Personas, get badass outfits, fight a bunch of borderline Disney evil levels of villains you know how it goes. Am I done, no, fine I'll tell you more, at least about how this version improves over Persona 4. First the dungeons and the combat have gotten a major exciting overhaul. Instead of just wandering around themed dungeons with randomly generated floors we now have unique Palaces that feature smart and fun stealth sections that really sell the prospect of being a thief. 

 These stealth mechanics that not only helps to capture the experience but also helps you to get the drop on your enemies. Speaking of the enemies, while they're still called shadows they're basically classic demons with a different name. Which brings us to the reintroduction to the negotiation system, as with classic SMT games you can only get new personas by negotiating with Shadows to make them remember their original natures, you could also hold them up to try and shake them down for extra cash and or items at the cost of exp.

 But you'll have to choose very carefully because both Money and levels are more necessary then ever in Persona 5, you'll need an insane and consistent amount of cash to upgrade your equipment, boost your personality and some will be required to talk to your confidants. While you can steal from the Palaces to get stuff to sell in the real world be forewarned that once a boss is beaten their respective Palace is gone for good meaning that you'll either have to wait till the next target, work part time jobs or grind for exp in Mementos, this game's equivalent of Tartarus while taking care of jobs for people who post on the official Phantom Thief Phansite. 

 Next the music in this game is diverse and near perfect. Once again Shouji Meguro is the composer and he and Lotus Juice knock it out of the park. Though if you do for some reason get tired of Next Surprise (though god knows how) and the teams usual outfits you can change to classic Persona and other Altus music and costumes from DLC. Speaking of while some DLC does have classic Personas and their Requiem; I mean "Picaro" versions they aren't needed to fill out the compendium. 

 Now for those who are worried about getting 100% of the trophies on your first run, don't worry since two trophies will only be available in New Game Plus so you can just focus your first run on building you social points and your team's confidants to get their ultimate Personas. Then once that's done just follow a online guide for your second play through and that platinum is as good as done. So what else is there to say? This is one of the best Persona games in the series and this is your perfect chance to join in and see what you've been missing out on.

Persona 5 is owned by Atlus and Sega.

Monday, April 3, 2017

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Uuchu Sentai Kyuuranger Spring Break Special Part 1: Game over Dumbluck.

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 Yep boys, girls and everyone in between it's time for the spring break crossover special between the currently running Kamen Rider and Super Sentai series. Just like last year however this isn't really a crossover so much as a short fight scene cameo, also just like last year one of these series is slowly but surly getting better and is actually good while the other is worse then somebody stealing your wallet after telling you that someone close to you was eaten by an alligator. I'm just going to cut the pretense here and say that Ex-aid is the good series and Kyuuranger is absolutely horrible. I might as well get the anger out right now and talk about Kyuuranger first.

 The series takes place in the future in space where an intergalactic empire called Jark Mader (get it it sounds like Dark Matter, all consuming indiscriminate darkness? Well, I get it and appreciate it for what it is,) has already conquered the star systems which make up 77 of the 88 constellations and they only have a few more left to go before they completely conquer the Galaxy. The only force standing in Jark Mader's way is the Uuchu Sentai Kyuuranger who harness the power of their native constellations using devices called Kyuu Tama to fight and liberate planets under the dominion of Jark Mader.

 While that all sounds good on paper this premise does have one teeny tiny little problem. THE RED RANGER IS A FUCKING MORON!!!! Hey do any of you remember last year when I said that Toei finally listened to their fans and we were apparently done with idiot Red Rangers? Oh we are staggeringly naive fools, how little we were prepared for this fresh slice of hell which no doubt brings us one step closer to the world of "ow my balls". No seriously folks if you thought Wrong from Toqger or Leftovers from Ninninger were bad allow me to introduce you to the latest moron to come off of Toei's idiot Red Ranger production line, Lucky. 
Better get used to that folks cause guess what he says every, single, fucking episode? GAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
  From the very first time you see this guy you will despise his rotten guts and those who put up with him, as his name implies his main schtick is that he has super Luck powers, meaning that he always wins his fights without any effort, bulldozes his way to victory and of course he always screams out something with the word Lucky in it almost every single time he opens his goddamn face hole. He's an insensitive, idiotic, pigheaded, misguided piece of shit who only manages to survive due to his stupid, stupid luck to the point where I have given him the nickname of "DumbLuck" which worked so well that pretty much everyone in my click of Toku viewers have basically adopted that as Lucky's official nickname just like Leftovers became the nickname for Takaharu.

 The biggest problem with Dumbluck is that since Toei's of course going to over glorify his presence the rest of the cast is going to suffer in terms of their development since because Dumbluck exists any episode focused on their development will be superseded by him. Hell at this point I barely know anything about the rest of the main cast aside from their name and gimmick. Spada's gimmick is that he's a chef and randomly speaks one Italian word every so often in his sentences (even though they're all from space so they shouldn't even know what Italian is much less know how to speak it!) Next is Hammy the first official female Green Ranger, her schtick is that she's condescending to Dumbluck but since its though laughing at his stupidity it's actually encouraging it since he's too stupid to pick up on her ridiculing. The Black Ranger is a Bull Robot named Champ who likes to work out even though again he's a robot and thus has no muscles to develop with the exercise.

 Next is Garu, he's a wolfman who had his entire race slaughtered in battle by Jark Mader and thus had his spirit broken. That is until Dumbluck told him that he's stupid for giving up so easily! Hey asshole he just told you that his entire race was exterminated right in front of him and you basically tell him "oh get over it you big baby and fight back?!" Go jump in a hole full of poison tipped bamboo spikes you insensitive cumchugger! That was honestly even worse then what Wakka said after Home was destroyed in FF X.

 Next is the thieving pair of Naga and Balance. Naga's a Vulcan knock off and Balance is an asshole robot voiced by Josuke. Then there's Stinger and he's a live action Sasuke Uchiha who is a spy for the Rebellion but has killed lots of people to maintain his cover, including Champ's creator. But Dumbluck still wants him on the team just because he's a Kyuuranger. Even after Champ told you he killed his Creator/father and lethally poisoned the rest of your team all in the same episode! 

 Do you all see why I hate this guy?! If not then here's my last piece of evidence with our last Kyuuranger, the gynoid Raptor. She's always wanted to be a hero, but it's revealed that if she is damaged, because her parts are so rare nobody can repair her and thus any damage she takes will be permanent and if she takes enough she'll die. So what does Dumbluck do? Tell her to ignore her safety and fight anyway despite the fact that she'll eventually die if she becomes a full Kyuuranger! So to sum up my feelings for Dumbluck I think that Joe Pesci said it better then anyone else.

 All this is made worse due to the fact that the designs for the suits, mechs and weapons are all really good. 
They were designed by Bandai of America and they did a really good job of making this Sentai team stand out from their contemporaries. They each still have a uniformed style but diverge in just the right ways. From Balance and Champ being the robots having more armoring on their suits to Garu's suit actually having fur in the colored segments and claws on the boots, Stinger's having; well a stinger to Raptor's suit having actual wings. 
The mechs themselves are also cool, with the Lion being the center while the others are interchangeable by the four ball joints which by my calculations means it could have up to 32 possible combinations, at least so far.
 But again if the main character makes me want to vomit in absolute disgust every time he does something stupid then I refuse to take part in this madness. As I said before aside from riffing on this every Sunday I will not be watching this in my free time. But I may finally start to make V-logs on this show since I will undoubtedly bring in the views since everybody loves to see someone else suffer. I mean you literally can't spell slaughter without laughter so yes you all will soon be getting your pounds of flesh. But I need to take a break from Dumbluck so I'll see you all next time as we talk about Ex-aid.

Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Final Fantasy X is owned by Square-Enix and Yoshinori Kitase.
My Cousin Vinny is owned by Johnathan Lynn and 20th Century Fox.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

April fools Post: Tokusatsu Memes

When you're done read, comment, spread the links, re-tweet and follow me on Twitter @OnDavidsBrain! and support me on Patreon.

 Well folks since today is April Fools Day I know that anything that I post will be seen as a pile of bullshit and biscuits so I've decided to give you all some genuine laughs (hopefully) with these Tokusatsu memes that you can look at, laugh at or hopefully use on your forum posts.

Your reactions to these memes may vary but still please enjoy.

All rights go to their respective owners.