Monday, October 17, 2016

Manga review: Kazumi Magica the Innocent Malice Volume 3 Pt 1: BEARS!!!

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Yeah notice that I'm not using the interior cover for this one since I don't think I should and can't show you it. But I can describe it, the interior cover is a naked Niko offering the reader a gun with the words "kill me" written in blood on her chest. You'll forgive me for not showing that if only to avoid placing an NSFW warning on this review.
 So last time we saw that things got rather crazy and that they can always go from bad to worse. In this instance Niko somehow turned into a witch even though her gem is as clean as a whistle. Her teammates are understandably horrified at this with Kaoru desperately pleading for Nikos witch to stop. It clearly doesn't work and the witch launches an attack on the others, who were only able to avoid damage thanks to Umikas barrier. 

 Saki manages to get Mirai into the barrier but takes a small cut on her face, Mirai sees this and goes into a Wolverine esq berserker rage! 
MIRAI SMASH!!!!
 She then summons an army, an army of; teddy bears. 

 But yes Mirai can summon an army of teddy bears which swarm the witch and start to rip its flesh off with their bare teeth!!! Even though the witch manages to shake these fluffy piranhas off Miri just combines them into a giant bear to hold the witch down while she turns her wand into FUCKING DRAGON SLAYER!!! And good lord does she know how to use it!
Jesus somebody give this girl a coke! And make sure it's a coke she does not need to be pissed off by giving her a Pepsi BEGONE PEPSI MAN OR SHE'LL CLEVE YOU IN HALF!!!
 So she takes her broadsword and cuts the witch cleanly in half right down the middle with its blood drenching everyone. It's at this point where everyone starts panicking and going crazy, Satomi especially since she's terrified of becoming a witch. Kazumi is horrified that the hand she's holding was alive only a few minutes ago and starts screaming Niko's name. Only for her to show up right next to her asking what's up?! Everyone is of course shocked, confused and surprised as all hell as to what the hell's going on. 

 Juubey explains that that was her "Preliminary" which was the price of her contract. So yeah Niko's back, though looking slightly more evil. But then again this is the same girl who just sat back and let Kazumi be used for target practice a few minutes ago so she just might be showing her true colors or just has a warped sense of humor. Either way near death can give people some leeway with weird behavior. After the happy reunion however Niko reminds everyone that Kazumi's concerns need to be addressed.

 So they take her to Mirai's teddy bear museum called Angelica Bears, which was what Mirai wished for to become a magical girl. Okay so wishing for a teddy bear museum lets her summon teddy bear constructs I get that, but how does a personal museum equal Pyramid Heads Great knife? Back on track it's not what they wanted to show her. Below the museum is the secret of the Pleiades Saints, a freezer for Magical Girls.
 So yeah what Ayase was saying was 100% true, they go around abducting magical girls, steal their soul gems and preserve their naked bodies in cryostasis like they were working with Mr Fucking Freeze?! OUR FUCKING HEROES EVERYONE!!! Oh and their explanation at the end of this chapter is just as crazy. Apparently this is the Pleiades way of rejecting the Magical Girl system.

 Chapter 10 has Kazumi asking questions as to what exactly Witches are and they give her the full story as explained in the main show. However there is one exception that unlike Sayaka who took to the idea of ignoring all pain in their bodies the Pleiades rejected that notion. Because if they forget pain then that's when they truly stop being human. I would argue that you guys may have forgotten a few other things but yeah sure you definitely need to remember pain I can get behind that. Umika explains that all the soul gems they've collected are kept in a special seal, so that even though the gem is still within the 100 meter radius of their bodies the seal cuts them off so they don't become more clouded and corrupted then they already are. Their ultimate goal is to keep the girls from becoming witches and finding a way to return them to being human. 
 Ok first of all, how do you know that there is a way to change them back? I mean you said yourself that the witch is the final step of Magical girls so how do you know there's a way to fix them? I mean you have Juubey with you and I'm pretty sure that if there's a way to fix them he'd tell you. Second, how have you all not been caught by someone yet? I mean only you six can break the seal to the freezer, so that implies that only magical girls can open the freezer, so what would have happened if a friend of one of your victims wished to learn the truth, found the freezer and all of your identities? 

You'd be fucked beyond repair, you'd definitely be arrested, your prisoners would be free and they'd be so pissed off they'd either A kill you all or B turn into an army of Witches and kill God knows how many people. And last but not least, what's going to happen to the freezer and all the girls inside if the six of you are killed or become witches yourselves? Nikos double became one and you all flipped your shit, which would have most if not all of you succumb to despair and witch out. But since you all survived that means no problem right? Wrong; what if it was Satomi or Saki that witched out instead of Niko who had a backup in her wish? 

 Would you have recruited other magical girls to continue your plans? Then that would mean you'd either recruit a magical girl, reveal the truth about witches and have her most likely go nuts. Or even worse ask someone to make a wish and become a brand new one knowing what lies ahead? Either way this just makes all six of you look downright evil!

 Kazumi then asks another very valid question, when did they discover the truth themselves? To answer that Umika head butts her and restores her memories. So we flashback a few months earlier, where we see the six about to commit suicide under the influence of a witches kiss! You know folks I've gotta come clean for a second, for a while, I almost forgot what franchise this was a part of.

 The six have their own low points that lead to them being enchanted by the witch, Umika had her work stolen by a publisher and presented as the work of a pop idol. Kaoru's leg was broken during practice and her teammates mercilessly bullied the girl who accidentally did it to the point she tried to kill her self but was left in a coma. Satomi accidentally killed the cat she had since she was 3. Mirai was ostracized and ignored by her classmates so her only friends were her homemade teddy bears. Niko accidentally shot her two friends when she was a toddler living in California and Saki's sister was killed in a car crash Saki herself survived. Our chapter ends on a relatively happier note as when the six jump at the witches suggestion they're saved by Kazumi.

Chapter 11 has Kazumi dragging the six into the witches labyrinth and not even lifting a finger when they get attacked by familiars! 
Jesus Christ even Kazumi was a psycho before she lost her memories, is there anyone in this story who isn't at least one level of bonkers?!
 The girls struggle and fight back to which Kazumi asks why they're doing this if they planed on killing themselves in the first place? 
Kazumi I really don't think this is the time or the place for a fighting game or bikini volleyball! Especially after what happens immediately after your little poorly phrased ultimatum.




 The six each grab a rifle and fire at the jellyfish witch. However the witch just re inflates itself and prepares to eat them when Kazumi, convinced that they still want to live saves the six and kill the witch. After the fight the group heads back to Kazumi's place for dinner where they enjoy some of her grandmothers strawberry risotto. They ask where she is now but Kazumi says that she's passed on. The night's events eventually lead to Saki asking about Magical girls so Kazumi tells how she became one, in a flashback, we're officially in flashback in a flashback territory people be very afraid.

 The flashback shows that Kazumi was studying abroad when she learned of her Grandmas condition, so she rushed back to Japan. She was attacked by a witch but was saved by a cameo.
Hi Mami and wow kid did this artist do a number on you and the twins Jeez.
 So she takes care of the witch, Kazumi thanks her and runs off catching Juubeys attention. Our chapter ends with Kazumi learning her Grandma has only a few days left and Kazumi begging her to wake up one more time when the demon bunny cat comes by telling her he can cure her grandma if she makes a contract. So I'll cut it here for now since I may get lost in the flashbacks if I stay here too long. Besides I think I need something to cheer me up after all of this, and so do you. So until next time keep smiling! 

Kazumi Magica The Innocent Malice is owned by Masaki Hiramatsu, Takashi Tensugi, Magica Quartet and Yen Press.
The Completionist is owned by Jirard "Dragonrider" Khalil and Normal Boots
Banjo Tooie is owned by Rare, 4j Studios Nintendo and Microsoft Studios.
Jontron is owned by Jon Jaffri and Normal Boots.
Dragon Ball, Dragonball Z and Dragonball GT is owned by Funnimation, Toei animation, Fuji TV and Akira Toriyama.
Dragon ball Z abridged is owned by Team Four Star. 
Mass Effect 3 is owned by Bioware and Electronic Arts.