Thursday, September 25, 2014

Tokusatsu Review Kamen Rider Taisen Part 4: Patience is Breakable

After the second most obvious joke I could ever make in this review, Fifteen uses some form of pyrokinesis to burn Shuu's "I hate you" message. Fifteen says that it's unnecessary since apparently Shuu will be coming back to life.
Sorry pal, but you don't exactly strike me as a White Mage.
Kouta, obviously asks what the hell he's talking about and Fifteen explains that Badan isn't actually an Underground Empire, but actually an Empire of the dead! The big plan is to use Shuu's 7th dimension power to reverse the world of the dead into the world of the living. Called, the Mega Reverse Project.
I would have totally gone with this plan, but they never called me, uuuuuuuuhhhhhhh.
Shuu points out the obvious, that if Netherrealm is merged with EarthRealm his Mom will die, thus why he ran from Badan. Fifteen, not exactly having everything right upstairs says that if Shuu comes back to life Shuu's mom will be happy. And dead, don't forget dead. Shuu refuses to help so Dad needs to spank him, so he pulls out his Sengoku driver. Kouta, not one for that type of tough-love parenting agrees with Shuu and says that there's no reason for Badan to take away the future from the living. Fifteen then transforms saying that he won't let anything get in his way. Kouta then pulls out his driver in response, they both transform and begin their rematch. Round two, FIGHT! Gaim starts by clearing a path through the Combat-Roids for Shuu to run away while he fights Fifteen. Gaim tries to reason with him saying that he knows what it's like losing someone you care for. Probably even more so then Fifteen since at this point in continuity Gaim found out the truth about Yuya. Fifteen still says that Gaim can't beat him. Fifteen is almost about to kill Gaim when Decade shows up to save him. Decade tells Shuu that his mom is waiting for him at the lighthouse; Gaim then gives Decade a Rose attacker Lockseed to give the two an escape vehicle while Gaim holds off Fifteen.
Now that's one hell of a green-thumb.
Gaim says that even though the paper is gone, Shuu can still make things up with his Mom. Decade and Shuu ride off with Gaim switching to his Ichigo (Strawberry) arms to continue the fight. Tsukasa powers down for some dumb reason; which lets him and Shuu fall off the bike when they're attacked by General Jark. But then Jark gets intercepted by two Shōwa Riders, specifically Kamen Riders Black, and Black Rx.
Sorry for the Masked Rider flashbacks.
Okay, this is impossible as I will explain. Black and Black Rx, are supposed to be the same person, Kotaro Minami. Also, no this isn't a power transfer or legacy hero type of thing. Black Rx is just an evolved version of Black. So for both of these incarnations of the same person to show up at the same time is impossible. Also, this movie never gives an explanation where the extra Black classic came from. But for the movies plot of all Fifteen of the Shōwa era Kamen Riders to appear in this movie and give us the 15 Vs 15 thing, I have no choice but to let this slide. Anyway, both of the Blacks take care of the goons and finish off Jark with a double Rider Kick. Before you think that this is a good thing, remember, in this movie, the Shōwa riders are dicks. The Blacks say Tsukasa is their next target claiming that the Heisei Riders are to blame for Badan showing up and that they can't forgive the Heisei riders for that and must be taken down with Badan. No, I'm not using the Nick Cage "Bullshit" clip, I'm saving that for when we find out why the Shōwa Riders think this. The Blacks then get intercepted by Shotaro, who now knows that it's all out war between the two generations of Riders. Tsukasa pulls out his driver, but Shotaro says that he'll handle the Blacks saying that he wants to protect all of Futo, even if it's just a turtle or a kid who's already dead. Instead of pulling out his W driver he instead pulls out his Lost Driver.
This is the Double Driver, which Shotaro normally uses to merge with Philip to become W.
This is the lost driver, which can be used without needing Philip.
I'm guessing that Shotaro only pulls out the Double driver these days in case the opponent he's fighting is too strong for him alone. So this way, he doesn't have to go overboard when fighting. You don't need to use a Shotgun to open a can of beans is what I'm getting at. Also, Shotaro felt it would be appropriate for two old black riders to fight the new black rider as he transforms into Kamen Rider Joker. Joker is holding off the two Blacks when Kaito shows up to help him as Baron. The Blacks have an advantage over Baron so he switches to Mango arms.
We all know that mango can fight with the best of them, ahahaha!
With that Baron is back in the game and helps Joker fight off the Blacks. Um Rx, you do know that you can change forms too right? Don't want to switch to Bio Rider and outmaneuver the guy with the large, heavy melee weapon, or get to a distance and pick them off with Robo Rider since neither of your opponents have projectile weapons? Hello? Anybody? Oh wait, heh I'm sorry, there goes me and my logic again, my mistake! Ignoring what I actually know about his powers Black Rx just goes for his revolcrash finishing move but gets defeated with a combo of Joker's Maximum drive Rider Kick and Baron's Mango Squash finisher. When Black Rx is defeated he turns into a Lockseed. But Joker and Baron aren't out of the woods yet as Black gets backup from Kamen Riders Amazon and Super-1. We get ourselves another chunk of character inconsistency pie since Amazon is as big on friendship as Fourze. Hell from Fourze's hyper battle video the two get along like peas in a pod. But enough of pointing how this movie is stupid, back to the fight. Amazon and Super-1 are about to finish off Joker with their finishing moves, but Baron intercepts them and is defeated.
Now my collection is one step closer to, holy crap a giant rock!
We then cut to Ambassador Darkness holding the Black Rx Lockseed saying that this isn't enough. He instructs his Monster army to collect all the Rider Lockseeds. Tsukasa finally manages to bring Shuu to the lighthouse, Tsukasa telling Shuu that his Mom has been to the lighthouse many times since he died. Shuu runs to see his mother one more time.
I'm back bitches!
Yep, Fifteen teleports in with Combat-Roids who finally manage to capture Shuu. Fifteen tells Tsukasa to stop getting in the way. Tsukasa says the same thing saying that Shuu wanted to fix things with his Mom so badly he gained the power to reverse anything. He asks Fifteen if he understood what that meant. Fifteen just asks who he is, Tsukasa gives his catchphrase "I'm just a passing though Kamen Rider, Remember that." and he transforms into Decade. The two Riders fight, with the Roids taking Shuu away. Decade says not to get to cocky since Fifteens number is bigger then his. Fifteen says that unlike Decade he can transform into all the Heisei Riders, including Decade. He then pulls out his Heisei Rider Lockseed and transforms into Decade arms.
Decade plus 15, shouldn't this be Kamen Rider 25?
Decade counters by transforming into Kamen Rider Hibiki using Hibiki's fire powers to gain an advantage but Fifteen just uses Hibiki's weapons as well, throwing the fireball back. Decade then transforms into Kamen Rider Kuuga but Fifteen then just switches to Fourze arms and blasts Decade back to his base form.
The only time Fourze looks legitimately threatening.
Fifteen decides that playtime is over and switches to what he calls the ultimate transformation. He switches to Gaim arms.
Aaaaaand boned!
 Fifteen then overpowers Decade, forcing Tsukasa to power down. The real Gaim shows up and sees Shuu getting taken away. Fifteen intercepts Gaim and, like last time Gaim can barely touch this guy. Gaim then pulls out his Kachidoki Lockseed and transforms into his super form, Kachidoki arms.
For the record, my favorite Super Form design.
Fifteen then tries to send out more Combat-Roids to stop Gaim, but as expected Gaim just swats them away like flies. Gaim pulls out his awesome DJ Gun, sets it to its low DJ Pitch and blows the goons away with his hand cannon. Fifteen takes over with the two finally on even ground. Gaim switches the DJ gun to its sword mode and the two fire energy blasts, which collide and forces Kouta to power down while Fifteen and the Roids teleport away with Shuu, Shuu saying to protect everyone's futures. Tsukasa questions this coming from someone who's already dead. Kouta is offended by how Tsukasa said that, asking to take Shuu's feelings into consideration. Tsukasa responds by saying they need to hurry gathering the Heisei Riders, and that this is for making Shuu's wish come true. We cut to, oh not again!
The movie's restarted!
No, no we just finally caught up. While the Riders are slugging the crap out of each-other we get a new face showing up.
No, really? I though he was a representative of Carealot.

How brief you may ask? All Schwarz does is say that the Shadow Line would benefit from this and that he already sent one of his Kurainer trains to attack Kamen Rider Den-O. He might as well have said that he was there to raid their fridge. To be fair he does cause the Den liner to be destroyed, again. Tsukasa sees this while right next to him Kamen Rider Super-1 is fighting against Kamen Rider Agito, Super-1 using his Elec hands while Agito goes into his Trinity form. Both of their finishing moves collide and both are turned into Lockseeds. We then see the Pink energy getting really, really, dangerous as it turns into a geyser of evil energy, erupting out of the ground, Tsukasa telling Kouta that Badan is finally making their move. We then cut to the Generalissimo of Badan (the aforementioned Giant rock) giving a speech to his troops as their super weapon rises to the surface. Shuu is hooked up inside of the machine pleading with his father not to go through with this. Though we still have about half an hour of this thing left to go, which I will be tackling half of next time.

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Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Mortal Kombat is owned by Warner Brothers Interactive Entertainment and NetherRealm Studios.
Saturday Night live is  owned by Lorine Michaels, NBC Studios and Broadway Video.
The Muppets are owned by The Jim Henson Company, Jim Henson and The Walt Disney Company.