Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Tokusatsu Review: Kamen Rider Taisen Part 2: The Quickening

This is just plain cute, right at the fifteen minute mark of this movie do we get the first introduction to Kamen Rider Fifteen. Just, plain, cute. Though onto a more positive note I do like the look of Fifteen. Just a simple black and silver color scheme with a skeletal design and a white mane on his helmet with the kanji for Fifteen on the front of the helmet, simple but effective. Fifteen demands Shuu before fighting Gaim, okay I shouldn't say fight more like Smackdown! Fifteen proves to be damn strong, easily able to block Gaims sword attacks with his bare hands and sending him flying with one blow to his chest. Fifteen then ups the ante by summoning a giant bone sword, Zangetsu Shin shows up to tag out for Gaim and fight Fifteen on his own. But not even Zangetsu is enough to stop this guy. To make things even worse Fifteen then pulls out a Lockseed.
Don't even ask me how he got that!
This is the Heisei rider Lockseed which allows Fifteen to use the arms form of any Heisei Kamen Rider. He then transforms into Wizard arms and blows Zangetsu right out of the ballpark. Ryugun tries to help but he and Baron get blasted away by Porcupine-Roid. Gaim could barely hit Fifteen before but now he can't even touch him, not even switching to Jimber Lemon arms helps. Gaim just barely manages to keep an even pace with Fifteen, but then Porcupine-Roid fires on Gaim. Just to make things even worse Ichigo shows up again with Nigo (Kamen Rider 2) and V3.
Evil Kenevil can kiss our asses!
The trio then drive straight though Porcupine-Roid and stop to basically tell Gaim "this is our fight, piss off noob." they then fight against Porcupine-Roid and Fifteen. Gaim isn't one to take their crap but Shuu and Mai are cornered by Tiger-Roid, so Gaim has to save them. Tiger-Roid fires his Tiger Bomber attack but Shuu manages to save them with his reversal powers.
Better luck next time Batman! WOO HOO!
 Underground, Kouta powers down and Shuu is exhausted from overexerting his powers and passes out. Kouta and Mai take Shuu to Drupers to recuperate. One wonders why they would take an amnesiac, injured kid to a Parfait shop instead of a hospital, but there goes me and my logic again. Though to be fair the entire city is under attack and the hospitals might be on the first of Badan's list of targets, plus they might be filled with people injured from the initial assault; so an unsuspecting cafe like this would seem the safer option. Plus they went to Drupers so that the plot could dump Tsukasa there to meet with Kouta and deliver exposition and greetings.
Probably the only time I want something related to Decade.
Ok hold on a second. Who made that Parfait? I mean, I know that this isn't on the regular menu, especially with that specific design. Is it a make your own Parfait special that day? Did Tsukasa order that design in advance? How did Bando know that Decade was coming in order to make that specifically designed dish, did he call them? Did Tsukasa look up Drupers online to learn their phone number? Did he send a picture of the Decade helmet so Bando knows how to design that Parfait? Oh wait for that matter, why is Tuskasa here? How long was he there waiting for Kouta to show up? If he was in Gaims world, why the hell did he just hang around here instead of helping Gaim fight against Badan?
Ah, right, ahem any-who, Kouta recognizes Tsukasa just as Tsukasa recognizes Shuu, yet he doesn't know who Shuu is, just that he's related to the alternate world, Badan attacking and the veteran Riders becoming active. So Tsukasa figures that's what his job in this world is. Kouta asks if Tsukasa knows what Shuu is supposed to do, but Tsukasa doesn't know, just saying that whatever it is, it needs to be done, even if it leads to the worlds destruction. What? Okay, dude I know that you're the destroyer of worlds and all, but that doesn't mean that everyone else is going to be on board, unless they're at Legato Bluesummers' levels of Nihilistic. And a certain someone agrees with me. They hear the trademark line of DAMN YOU DECADE!
Frau Blücher (Neiiiigh)
Yep it's our Judas Traveler stand in Narutaki and, he's shrunken.
Now remember Tsukasa, give a little whistle and always let your conscience be your guide.
Jiminytaki then explains about how Badan is carrying on Shockers will and is amassing an army of dead monsters to take over the world, and that in order to stop them they must gather the other Heisei Kamen Riders. Okay, I have some more questions, chief among them is; why is Narutaki helping Tsukasa? Last time I checked Narutaki hated Tsukasa's guts, and last time Tsukasa saw this guy, he was leading Dai-Shocker as the new Doctor G in Super Hero Taisen, actively trying to kill Tsukasa! He also did the same thing in Decade and Doubles movie war, where he lead Super-Shocker as Colonel Zol. Also there is that lovely fan theory floating around that suggests Narutaki is the latest form of the Great Leader of Shocker, which actually makes sense given his previously mentioned transformation powers, his awfully telling carrier path, and his hatred for the Kamen Riders. So, logically, shouldn't he be trying to stop Tsukasa and the other riders from succeeding? Isn't Badan taking over the world a good thing for him? Also why did he show up tiny when he then jump-cuts himself to normal size? On one last note, Tsukasa, given their relationship and history should have precisely zero reason to believe one thing that this asshole says! Most likely course of action would have been to stab that fork into Narucricket and swallow him whole, regardless of indigestion. Okay, rant over for now. Tsukasa then asks the million dollar question, why not ask the older riders as well? Given that he hasn't been around for those scenes I'm willing to let that slide. Narutaki says the two groups of Riders can't mix.

 Shōwa and Heisei riders have worked together hundreds of times before this point! Ugh anyways Narutaki tells him to place his hand on his heart and search within. Like he was discovering his Animality or some nonsense. With that pile of stupidity done with Narutaki teleports away. Now this could be Narutaki trying to hinder Tsukasa by sewing mistrust between him and the Shōwa Riders, especially when Kouta eventually tells him about Ichigo's attitude and earlier statements. I'm also just going to assume that Narutaki was in the background watching those interactions so I could forgive that for now, what I can't let slide is what Kouta says next!


Now, forgive me for making assumptions here writers, but; ahem, Kouta, is Japanese, right? Okay, we've established that, so logically; he should know what these terms are, what they mean and how they apply to the history of his country. Again, just making assumptions here. But I may be mistaken for believing that Japanese people know what these clearly Japanese terms mean, my mistake. What I am trying to convey, ever so subtly is that he should know what in the name of Odin's eye socket what these terms mean! I'm going to assume that Kouta is at least 23 in this movie and has most likely heard these terms in school, and from what I can tell of the Japanese educational system they would have most likely drilled this into his head if he was a part of that 94% of Junior high students that did move on to their high school education. This movie, was clearly made for a Japanese audience, so the audience might have heard those terms at least once or twice and I can only assume that the audience members who saw this in theaters, who knew those terms meant, must have collectively slapped their hands against their heads when Kouta said that line. To make sure we are all on the same page, Kouta asking "What is Heisei and Shōwa ?" would have been like a Scotsman asking what haggis is!

Whatever! After that; question Tsukasa says that he doesn't need to know

and that he should just go get the Heisei riders so we can start the cameos already! How? By doing what Tsukasa did by meeting and persuading them. Yeah, remember what happened last time you tried that? Oh yeah it turned out to be the wrong thing and nearly wound up destroying causality! Funny how continuity works! Of course Kouta is in no shape to go anywhere right now and Tsukasa decides to gather the riders for him, with Kaito coming along.
No not that one, you silly goose.
I mean Kaito Kumon aka Baron, why? So he can get stronger of course, like he has any other reason for doing anything else. So Tsukasa and Kaito are off, using the drawing that Shuu made as a guide, which not only leads them to one of the Heisei riders, but to someone who can help Shuu with his memories. Two birds in one stone.
More like two minds in one Rider!
Yep their first stop is to Futo to check in on Shotaro Hidari aka half of Kamen Rider Double. We see our half-boiled hero trying to be a hard boiled badass, but once again ends up looking like a complete goober. The more things change, eh? Kaito is of course skeptical about hiring this guy, and Shotaro is involved in a big case already. However Tsukasa is willing to help. Shotaro tells them he has three targets; first, finding a lost dog, second a lost cat and finally, a lost turtle. Kaito is not exactly happy about this, questioning if Shotaro is a detective or just wasting his time. Shotaro replies that he never turns down a job from a client in Futo, even the smallest job. Keep that in mind for later. Tsukasa tells Shotaro that he and Kaito will catch the turtle, in response Shotaro tells them that he'll hear them out once the job is done. So now it's off to the next rider. Their next stop takes them to Kikuchi laundromat where Inui Takumi aka Kamen Rider 555 calls home. Tsukasa tells him about Badan and Takumi tells him to hit the bricks because he's too busy with laundry and that he's going on a journey anyway. That journey is cut short when Takumi gets attacked by Porcupine and Tiger-roids. Then Tsukasa shows up and transforms into Decade to intercept the beast bots. Takumi holds his Faiz gear, thinking about transforming but hesitates when he has a flashback.
Oh we'll get to this later.
 Decade then tells Takumi that the world of Riders is kill or be killed and that's he can tell he's sick of the bloodbath. Decade seems to be holding his own but then Fifteen shows up again and starts beating the destroyer of worlds like he owes him money. Fifteen starts demanding where Shuu is but of course Decade ain't talking. Decade retreats with his invisibility card. We cut to Kaito about to capture the turtle when Shotaro accidentally cuts him off while chasing the dog.
The face of pure, epic fail.
We then cut from that pointless gag to Takumi eating lunch and of course complaining that the food is too hot. Suck it up dude. Then a guy barges into the restaurant and takes a school girl hostage, of course! The police show up with a S.W.A.T team to surround the place, while the guy the girl was sitting with offers to treat the wounds of the hostage taker, who is pointing a gun at his dining guests head!
Check out the stones on this guy!
Now this is important for later. But Grandpa Badass M.D just calmly tells the guy that unless the wound is treated it'll get worse and that no harm will come to him, not from him or the cops. He even beats up the S.W.A.T team members when they throw in a smoke bomb under the cover of the smoke. Way to jump the gun Reynolds!
You and me both dude.
Doc Grandpa Badass asks the hostage taker if he has any kids and that if he does he shouldn't disappoint them and that the greatest duty for adults is to protect the children's future. AH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH! No I'm not laughing at the scene itself or that line, I actually like this scene but what I'm really laughing at will be brought up later when we find out who Dr Badass Gramps really is. The hostage taker, mortified at his own actions lets the girl go, drops his gun and starts sobbing. The girl, Mari rushes to Doc Badass and we find out his name is Jin. And on that note we will get to more of my gripes with this movie next time.

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Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Deadfall is owned by Tristar Pictures and Christopher Coppola
Highlander is owned by Cannon Films, 20th Century Fox and Highlander Productions Limited
Black Lagoon is owned by Rei Hiroe, Sunao Katabuchi, Madman Entertainment, Viz Media, Madhouse, Universal Australia and Funimation Entertainment
Looney Toons is owned by Warner Brothers and the Vitaphone Corporation.