Tokusatsu Review: Chou Super Hero Taisen Part 1: Featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry™ Series

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Coming out even more frequently then FNAF and Assassins Creed, and unfortunately half as good but just as consistaint.

 Because of course there's another one of these things even though the reception of these movies keep getting even worse and worse with every one that comes out. Hell last years Kamen Rider #1 movie at the time of this article is sitting at a 4.8 on IMDB!

Ouch, even worse is that if you look at their Box office intake they're going down in flames. 

 If you follow this link to TvTrope's page on 2015's Super Hero Taisen GP you'll see that it was the worst received of all of the Taisen movies.

 http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Trivia/SuperHeroTaisenGPKamenRider3

 Which only begs the question of why in the wide, wide world of sports does Toei keep making these things? Also why do they keep making them with the worst director and writer in their staple being Shōji Yonemura and Osamu Kaneda respectively? Probably because their paymaster is Shinichiro Shirakura AKA Japanese Dan Didio who has been proven time and time again to be one of the worst producers at Toei. Hell just look at the staff changes for Kamen Rider Hibiki for proof of that alone, plus apparently he considers the modern Heisei Kamen Riders to be "boring and toothless" as compared to his baby Amazons. Kaylin Saucedo AKA Marzgirl has summed up the general reaction to this statement on this Tumbler post.

http://marzgurl.tumblr.com/post/142525690297/do-you-think-the-recent-kamen-riders-are

 Now what he probably also implies in this statement is that the shows he produced were superior to the current run which for the most part lacked his direct involvement which ran from Agito to Decade minus Kiva, all of which have had major problems and have demonstrated a general lack of care or respect to Ishinomori's works which have ironically become his company's biggest cash cows. There's shooting yourself in the foot and then there's blasting your entire leg off with a sawed off Shotgun! Which leads to a big question from me. If you hate this genre so much why the hell don't you just quit and let someone who does care take charge already? But of course this is making money in your world (aka Dodo land) so who cares you'll keep making these movies and pissing the fans off until the backlash is so intense you'll be forced to step down and I and many others will be there with bags of popcorn and hot dogs watching the festivities unfold.

 But enough about how Toei is run by gigantic douche-canoes time to carve open their latest turkey. Now these events aren't mentioned in the actual series (and for good reason) but there'll still be spoilers for Ex-Aid and Kyuuranger. (Though again I don't give a flying fiddlers fuck for Kyuuranger and have given up on it after Episode 1 a first for me as it was that bad! As such I shall also be giving them appropriate Nicknames, see if you can guess which is which.) We open surprisingly not in Japan but in Seoul South Korea (probably a shout out to those who watch Kyoryuger Brave). It's a peaceful day and an Old Man is playing Mighty Action X when it switches to Xevious which summons a blue pixelated wave of energy into the sky summoning a scale sized Andor Genesis which proceeds to go Independence Day on the city.

 Oh god this really is Pixels, quick hide Peter Dinklage I don't think his career can survive another bomb like this! From bad to worse we cut to the Orion the Kyuuragners' main ship where their boss Spyro the Dumbass Dragon informs the team on the situation. They think it might be Jark Matter but don't know for sure yet. Their Red Dumbluck is about to cream his Disney underwear over  the prospect of an unknown enemy and the Kyuurangers display their own unique flavors of annoying before checking it out, moving on! They apparently do their stupid Deploy Roulette thing so only Dumbluck, Bootleg Spock, Josuk3PO, Luigi Mario and Kurumi go down to stop the unknown threat instead of all 9 of their current ships which would be better to counteract the squadrons of ships the main one keeps sending out!

 Unsurprisingly this does not go well for the Spaceballs until they form KyuuRen-Oh where they cut the entire ship clean in half with one swing of their sword! But the Genesis just comes back and after a beam struggle with KyuuRen-oh we cut to our title card for the movie. Thankfully afterwords we don't focus back on the Kyuurangers but cut to the hospital Emu aka Ex-Aid works at where an unusual patent is brought in, Amu aka Jyuoh Tiger, she's in bad shape, barely conscious and bleeding so they check her x-rays.

Oh dear sweet god she's a Diclonius, quick get her out of here before Lucy shows up and kills us all!

 Of course since Amu's a Jyuman her catlike skeletal structure is leaving Emu stumped. But since Hiiro is Hiiro he tells Amu he'll cure her with no problem. Later on she's transferred to the CR monitoring room where she wakes up and explains what happened, she and the other Jyuohgers were fighting off the Xevious ships who apparently in this universe destroyed Jyuland. I say universe because on top of the Kyuurangers being around despite them apparently being set in the future or an alternate universe; at the end of Jyuogher Jyuland merged with Earth so this makes no sense. Continuity errors, in a Shirakura production, you're swimming in them!

 Poppy shows up and explains what Xevious is for those who've never been to an Arcade in the last few decades. She doesn't however know why the Xevious Bugsters are attacking. On the roof Emu and Hiiro contemplate what's going on when KyuuRen-Oh lands near the hospital.

It's a giant Menorah the fuck do you think it is!?

 Still they check out the Menorah to see Dumbluck, Leman Russ, Sasuke Clone #3472, Yera Allon and Robo Bison try to capture Poppy; since she's a Bugster they figure she had something to do with Andor Genesis and the other Xevious ships' rampage. And with the Kyuurangers being dumb as bricks they're overly aggressive and try to take Poppy without hearing hers or the Ex-Aid Riders' side of the story just assuming that since she's a Bugster she's involved. Even when Emu tries to ask who they are Dumbluck just tells him to hand Poppy over so of course Emu, Hiiro and Taiga are going to fight to make sure Poppy isn't taken by these hotheaded idiots, I'd complain more but Dumbluck is normally this stupid and the Kyuuragers are just as stupid if not more so for putting up with him.

 Both sides transform and start the slugfest, and the camera is apparently being held by a drunken Monkey. Poppy managed to get away with Haima (Hiiro's suck up father) but get cut off by Josuk3PO (who was the one who told the others to get Poppy) and Bootleg Spock who freeze Haima. Before they can take Poppy Amu calms the two down, but before a logical solution can be reached more shit shows up. A nearby Genm corps game console apparently becomes a Broken COMP from Devil Survivor and starts playing Galaxian causing their Bugsters to show up to start swarming the heroes. Ex-Aid and Dumbluck break off their fight to get the civilians to safety (even with my hate for Dumbluck this scene still shows he's a better hero then Bizzaro or Crazy Steve from Batman Vs Superman) before fighting off the Galaxian Bugsters.

 The COMP then switches to a new game that summons some odd back up, including Kiria Kujo AKA Kamen Rider Lazer with his new posse consisting of Shinken Blue, Bouken Pink, Mega Red, Den-O Gun Form (AKA Ryutaros) and Kamen Rider Shin-Zangetsu. This kit bash squad takes care of the Bugsters before going back into the game aptly named Chou Super Hero Taisen. Though a new player destroys the last Bugster and reveals he has the Galaxian Gashat, the Chou Super Hero Taisen version of Hiiro who has the power of Taddle Legacy Level 50, Kamen Rider True Brave. Both hero groups power down as Shadow Hiiro stares down the real him and goes back to the game with the Data Heroes. Emu asks Dumbluck if he can leave things to him and his allies, and Dumbluck says sure since he knows that there's no bad guys among heroes.

 Back at the university even Poppy doesn't know what's causing the worlds to bridge together. But Emu figures that the Data heroes still want to protect the Earth even if they aren't the real versions of those heroes so he and Poppy decide to get their help with the Xevious crisis. But if Emu comes then they might see it as an act of aggression so Poppy and Amu decide to go inside the game world to negotiate with any who could help (forgetting that Amu is a Jyuohger). They go inside and apparently find themselves in Silent Hill with weird 8 statues all over the place. They're specifically looking for Shadow Hiiro since they figure that he's the one in charge but find nobody except for a kid (goddamn it a kid) who runs off.

 But before the two can speculate the game announces another match and pits Amu against Kamen Rider Data-Stronger. She morphs and manages to defeat Data-Stronger who gets turned into a card and flies off, but Jyuoh Tiger then has to fight against Data-Amazon. Poppy then gets a transmission from Emu who figures that Data-Hiiro is most likely hiding out in the Game world's version of the hospital.

Castle of Hiiro Kagami
South Jersey Shore

 Amu is about to be killed by Data-Amazon but is saved by Data-Utchy (Kyoryu Gold) who beats Data-Amazon back to a Clow Card that flies off. After introductions are made Data-Utchy escorts Amu and Poppy to where Data-Hiiro is. They explain their idea to Data-Hiiro who agrees but says that they have to follow the rules of Chou Super Hero Taisen if they want their help against Xevious. Data-Hirro designates Emu as the game's player and he's whisked off to the player select screen and is given the rules, he has to pick a team composed of five heroes. It doesn't matter whether it's of a mix of Sentai and Riders or just Sentai or all Riders and compete against other teams in a tournament to determine who will become the Kamen Sentai Gorider which will be the team to defeat Xevious and save the real world.

 Ex-Aid is already the Red by default (though he should be Pink technically but whatever) so he has to pick between the Blue, Yellow, Green and Pink heroes for his team. Who will Emu pick for his team? Who created Chou Super Hero Taisen? Who released the Xevious Bugsters in the first place? Will that Pizza make it in 30 minutes or less? Find out next time in Part 2 of my review of Chou Super Hero Taisen.

Special thanks to my Patreon backer Jesse for his support.

Kamen Rider is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Super Sentai is owned by Ishinomori Productions, Toei Productions, and Bandai.
Plan 9 from Outer Space is owned by Ed Wood.
Patton is owned by Franklin J. Schaffner, 20th Century Fox and based on Patton: Ordeal and Triumph by Ladislas Farago and A Soldier's Story by Omar Bradley
Futurama is owned by Matt Groening, David X. Cohen, 20th Century Fox Television and The Curiosity Company.